these days have opened up my eyes; [Open Post]

[miseris_socios]

Who: Ken and whomever wants to encounter him.
Where: Kitchen, training gym, games car. (And wildcard option.)
When: Between February platform and the healing/time reversal plot.
What: Ken's getting used to train life... and also makes A Mistake.
Warnings: Training prompt has suicidal imagery (thanks Persona 3) and the closed prompt has severe depression warnings.


[Kitchen Duty]

Ken is on red team, despite the orange hoodie he's wearing, and that means apparently one of his chores is to make food for other people. It might not be the prettiest, but he'll do what he can. He doesn't bother much with the avocado though, instead serving up a couple of plates of omurice to set out for whoever drifts past. It takes him a little bit to start working on some of the other things - the pasta is boiling away and he's wandering around trying to familiarize himself with where everything is.

Sometimes he's poking around looking for storage containers or having to climb up onto the counter to reach things, but he's always careful to clean off the counter afterwards.


[Training] (cw: suicidal imagery)

Ken is no slouch when it comes to training, and he's found the climbing ropes. He scales the large structure easily, rolling off of it onto a mat and springing up, miming stabbing a spear into something. He can easily be found doing handstands or practicing rolling or doing all manner of gymnastic-like exercises.

When no one's looking, he takes out his Evoker and presses it to his head, pulling the trigger and letting Nemesis take some shots at a training dummy with lightning. He presses a hand to his chest when she manifests a spear and stabs the dummy herself. It hurts, but it's the only spear he has right now.


[Games]

He can't practice forever. Once he settles down a little bit he heads into the game car on occasion. He's not all that hard to find - occasionally he's on one of the VR games, but more often he's playing solitaire or looking at the Duel Monster cards. He's studied the notes left nearby carefully, so all that remains is to try to build a deck.

... Somehow.


[Wildcard]

While he's found a few cars to frequent, he's still exploring. It's easy to find him in practically any car.


[Field Trip to the Darkness] (closed to Vexen) (cw: severe depression)

Vexen is not a hard person to find. He's very tall and the black cloak makes it easy to pick him out, even from behind. He's about to call out to the man to say hello, but suddenly a dark-colored portal opens up and the man disappears into it. Frowning, Ken runs in after him.

That was a mistake.

It's dark, so dark, everything is dark. He can feel something cold gripping onto him, Nemesis' whirring getting louder and louder, somehow sinister. What is he doing here? What is he trying to prove? There's nothing he can do to make anything right. There's no point in him continuing to pretend like he's innocent at all - he hasn't been for a long time. He can't rely on anyone here.

Better to just be alone, or just be nothing at all.

He suddenly stumbles out into brightness, a black-coated individual in front of him, but he's not really seeing Vexen. He's trembling, suddenly freezing and pale. His knees hit the floor, followed by his arms and head right after.

Comments

[miseris_socios]

"It... huh?" The light is... strange. Everything feels soft and warm... like a blanket on a freezing night. He can see her face... why is she crying? Tears start rolling down Ken's cheeks, too. He can hear and feel the part of him that's Nemesis struggling back, trying to feed off of the negative emotions Ken generates so strongly.

He turns and buries his face into Vexen's chest, clinging to the warmth. "I'm sorry..." This strong presence... it's calming. Nemesis keeps pushing, keeps reaching for those feelings that she feeds off of... but finding them cut off for the moment, she retreats to her usual corner of Ken's self.

There's a safety here, one he hasn't felt in so long. He keeps clinging, even after Nemesis pulls back.

[thawed_pride]

He lets out his breath, and moves to sit down at his desk with Ken in his lap. He can feel Xehanort's darkness trying to surge against the light, but it's so different from his own, so much fouler, that it's fairly easy to keep it separated from the rest of him.

"Just be mindful from now on. Darkness is an abyss that is all too easy to lose oneself in, and I would be loathe to see you pulled into it."

[miseris_socios]

"... I've already lost two years." And he has no way of making those up. "I don't want to... lose more things. But it's hard... to not feel like I already lost so much, that... losing more wouldn't hurt too bad."

[thawed_pride]

"Take it from someone who has lost a decade: so long as you live, there is always more to lose, and always something to strive for."

He gently rests a hand on top of the boy's head. His voice is soft, and slightly distant, as though he's reflecting on his own memories.

"Dwelling in the past is naught but a waste of time. Take your lessons from it, certainly, but then move forward. Only by taking hold of your future can you atone for your past mistakes."

[miseris_socios]

"... I don't know how." He thought he was doing the right thing. He can't figure out where to even start to go from here. "I... didn't... have plans."

[thawed_pride]

"You're young yet, you have no shortage of time with which to make your decisions. Think about your talents, and ways you might use them to help people."

He uses one hand to wipe the tears off Ken's cheeks.

"I have...made my own grave mistakes, and so I poured my effort into research that could help people who had suffered at the hands of a man I enabled. It couldn't completely undo the harm caused to them, but that isn't what atoning is about. It's about doing your best to make things right, even if you can't make them the same as they would have been had you not made your mistakes."

[miseris_socios]

"... I don't... I'm good at fighting monsters. But we can't exactly go around letting SEES end the Dark Hour. It's too dangerous for the others to do their hits during the day... and that's the only way we have enough money for anything."

He looks away once his face is wiped, suddenly realizing something. "And... I know the others were taking the same medicine that was killing Aragaki... so they don't have a lot of time left, either. I want to go to school but I don't have any way of doing it. And when they're gone I won't have anyone. I don't know how I can help people... I can't even help the people I care about the most."

[thawed_pride]

"If they're using a medicine with lethal side effects, then perhaps I might be of assistance. Biochemistry and alchemy are both fields I am experienced in."

[miseris_socios]

He just eyes Vexen in confusion before sighing. "I don't think alchemy is a thing where I'm from. I don't have any of their pills here... I don't think any of them would want to be anywhere near any scientific tests after what happened to them. They weren't born with the abilities we use to fight like I was and like Koromaru was. They have to take it to keep it from killing them."

[thawed_pride]

"There seems to be a way to request objects from familiar worlds. An associate of mine was able to get his hands on some of the magical armor used in our area of the multiverse, so I see no reason why you wouldn't be able to obtain a sample for me to study and attempt to refine."

A pause, and then he sighs.

"Of course, I'll have to assemble the equipment, myself. This train is rather lacking in chemistry supplies."

[miseris_socios]

"There's some other science people around. I bet they can help." He's quiet for a few long moments. "... You really have raised kids before, huh." This warmth and safety... it's not the same, but it's similar.

[thawed_pride]

He hesitates, then nods.

"My son is a young adult now, as strange as that feels to think about, but he was younger than you when we took him in. He was an anxious child, and could scarcely speak unless he was entirely comfortable. Not that one would believe it now, listening to the way he goes on, but I learned quite a bit about dealing with psychological damage in children back then."

[miseris_socios]

"... I can tell. That you were a parent, I mean. The people I stay with are great, but... we're all kind of messes aside from Koromaru. And even then he gets freaked out when he gets left alone..." Given that he'd been alone for six months, it makes sense. "... I haven't had an adult really listen to me in a long time."

[thawed_pride]

"You look at children a bit differently when you've spent years caring for one, I suppose. Though, I would hardly say I'm not a mess. I simply have a perspective on life that younger people often lack, and an understanding of responsibility that comes from keeping a castle in functioning order."

He huffs and shakes his head.

"Plus, I've learned that children can sometimes say things of greater value than the words of a king."

[miseris_socios]

"... You say that, but... I don't know, you seem to be holding it together okay. I think you're right, though... sometimes people in power forget that they don't know things."

He tugs at the coat a little bit. "... I don't think the others could have gone through something like that without their Persona trying to kill them. Jin snapped at me once and told me how his tried to strangle him once... I could already hear mine getting loud, but I... haven't had that problem."

He closes his eyes. "I know it's because they got experimented on. ... It's just really sad."

[thawed_pride]

"Many things can be made to hold together with sufficient amounts of duct tape and chewing gum. That does not mean the damage isn't there, merely that things are functioning regardless."

Persona? And Shadows...he suspects he's starting to get an inkling of what he's looking at, here. Those are both psychological terms, from the same model.

"Well, there's only so much I could potentially do for someone who isn't comfortable submitting to an examination, but perhaps I can at least draft some theories. Why don't you write down what you know of Personas, and the differences between yours and theirs?"

[miseris_socios]

"... Okay." He slides out of Vexen's coat and lap, landing on his feet easily. He moves over to his bag and pulls out the notebook he was given and one of the pencils.

He starts writing. It takes a little bit, maybe ten minutes including the pauses and erasing and eventually giving up on more proper kanji. He pulls the page out of his notebook and hands it over to Vexen.

"That's what I can think of off the top of my head..."