It's difficult for Jiang Cheng to be around Wei Wuxian like this, with some kind of honesty burning inside of both of them. He's still reeling from everything that he learned, still adjusting to what was happening to him, to the truth of his heart and what was inside him. Knowing that his Golden Core didn't belong to him, that it came from his brother, that Wei Wuxian had been with him for all the years that the two of them had been separated by death... It made him happier and sadder than he had ever been in his life.
He wants to say that he doesn't need to be protected, that he doesn't need Wei Wuxian to be taking care of him like he had been before, when they were so much younger. Jiang Cheng is a Sect Leader now, has been ruling Yunmeng, has been raising his nephew, had been doing so many things that Wei Wuxian doesn't know and might never know, but he can't find the words to say it. It's too painful to try and be friendly to someone who broke his heart so thoroughly.
The idea that, even now, with everything that happened, Wei Wuxian is still watching out for him... He can't stand it.
Lifting his head, Jiang Cheng tries to muster himself, breathing out and closing his eyes. It's got to the point where even looking at Wei Wuxian feels like too much, like he's doing something he shouldn't be, betraying his past self and the broken promises by accepting this mirage. But Wei Wuxian is real, Wei Wuxian is here, being honest and kind and as gentle as he ever was with his family.
He hadn't wanted the apology back in the temple but he supposed he needed it to begin to move on. After almost twenty years of dwelling on his thoughts and wondering what was going on he finally understands - and so does his brother. Wei Wuxian realises why Jiang Cheng was so upset, so angry, and he can understand why his brother kept his secrets. Hadn't their lives been too mixed up with responsibility and owing people? Maybe it was easier not to owe anyone.
All he can think about is rain, the sound of A-Jie shifting in her bed and the shouts of Wen clansmen.
"I don't need your apologies. Didn't I tell you that?" His head bows, just a little, years of exhaustion weighing down on his shoulders and making him feel small. "You just needed to understand." Hand clenched, he tries to stand straighter. "I had enough time that it didn't matter anyway."
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He wants to say that he doesn't need to be protected, that he doesn't need Wei Wuxian to be taking care of him like he had been before, when they were so much younger. Jiang Cheng is a Sect Leader now, has been ruling Yunmeng, has been raising his nephew, had been doing so many things that Wei Wuxian doesn't know and might never know, but he can't find the words to say it. It's too painful to try and be friendly to someone who broke his heart so thoroughly.
The idea that, even now, with everything that happened, Wei Wuxian is still watching out for him... He can't stand it.
Lifting his head, Jiang Cheng tries to muster himself, breathing out and closing his eyes. It's got to the point where even looking at Wei Wuxian feels like too much, like he's doing something he shouldn't be, betraying his past self and the broken promises by accepting this mirage. But Wei Wuxian is real, Wei Wuxian is here, being honest and kind and as gentle as he ever was with his family.
He hadn't wanted the apology back in the temple but he supposed he needed it to begin to move on. After almost twenty years of dwelling on his thoughts and wondering what was going on he finally understands - and so does his brother. Wei Wuxian realises why Jiang Cheng was so upset, so angry, and he can understand why his brother kept his secrets. Hadn't their lives been too mixed up with responsibility and owing people? Maybe it was easier not to owe anyone.
All he can think about is rain, the sound of A-Jie shifting in her bed and the shouts of Wen clansmen.
"I don't need your apologies. Didn't I tell you that?" His head bows, just a little, years of exhaustion weighing down on his shoulders and making him feel small. "You just needed to understand." Hand clenched, he tries to stand straighter. "I had enough time that it didn't matter anyway."
Liar.