They do not know - they have seen pieces, but they do not know - and still they trust him.
It takes a few moments for the realization to sink in - to feel Seto at his side and Xander's arms around him - and to understand that this may be the lifeline he needs.
Something shifts, again, but this time, he thinks, for the better. He wraps one arm around Xander - careful not to crush his wings - and the other around Seto, holding them close and simply breathing.
His boys. His family.
It takes him some time to settle; for once, he allows himself the time, instead of attempting to simply cover his weaknesses up and move on. His breath hitches a bit, but finally evens out, and he can think again. He is still afraid - he does not know if that fear will ever truly leave him - but there is a warmth that had not been there before, a reassurance that perhaps things will not go as badly as he fears. The very idea of telling someone what exactly has happened to him no longer makes him want to escape, to sink through the walls and disappear.
And if anyone deserves to know, it is these two.
He sighs and lets them both go, resting his hands in his lap, allowing himself the time to gather himself and find words. It is another few seconds of silence before he manages to speak. "There was...an accident."
It is so very, very little, but it is a start. He can work with that.
"I...I mentioned my work. My experiments aboard the International Space Station." He pauses, swallows, soldiers on. "They were an unmitigated disaster." A hell of a way to start the story, but nonetheless true. "I still do not know how or why, but the containment field failed, and the resulting instability generated a black hole not two meters in front of me. It was a small one, but it was enough." His voice wavers on the last word, and he has to pause to gather himself again.
"I...do not remember much of what came next. It is...unfocused- scrambled- and I do not like to think about it. One of my current colleagues ran tests - according to her, the black hole essentially took me apart and reassembled me. It gave me my power over gravity, and it...adjusted my mind." It's a very mild description of events, to say the least. "I can hear- the music of creation- the melody of the cosmos-" It swells in his mind as he describes, louder and louder, pushing against his thoughts- "It sings to me- the answers are there, if only I could- if I could understand-"
As it so often does, the melody pushes into his mind, weaving through his thoughts, quickly subsuming them until he is gone, floating in an abyss of mathematics and music-
Until, as it so often does, the melody subsides, leaving a cold reality in its wake and the knowledge that Siebren has once again lost the thread of conversation. How long has he been gone? He does not know, but- but they are still here, and he is partway through an explanation.
"I...become lost in it, sometimes," he finishes weakly, as though they have not just witnessed it happen.
no subject
They do not know - they have seen pieces, but they do not know - and still they trust him.
It takes a few moments for the realization to sink in - to feel Seto at his side and Xander's arms around him - and to understand that this may be the lifeline he needs.
Something shifts, again, but this time, he thinks, for the better. He wraps one arm around Xander - careful not to crush his wings - and the other around Seto, holding them close and simply breathing.
His boys. His family.
It takes him some time to settle; for once, he allows himself the time, instead of attempting to simply cover his weaknesses up and move on. His breath hitches a bit, but finally evens out, and he can think again. He is still afraid - he does not know if that fear will ever truly leave him - but there is a warmth that had not been there before, a reassurance that perhaps things will not go as badly as he fears. The very idea of telling someone what exactly has happened to him no longer makes him want to escape, to sink through the walls and disappear.
And if anyone deserves to know, it is these two.
He sighs and lets them both go, resting his hands in his lap, allowing himself the time to gather himself and find words. It is another few seconds of silence before he manages to speak. "There was...an accident."
It is so very, very little, but it is a start. He can work with that.
"I...I mentioned my work. My experiments aboard the International Space Station." He pauses, swallows, soldiers on. "They were an unmitigated disaster." A hell of a way to start the story, but nonetheless true. "I still do not know how or why, but the containment field failed, and the resulting instability generated a black hole not two meters in front of me. It was a small one, but it was enough." His voice wavers on the last word, and he has to pause to gather himself again.
"I...do not remember much of what came next. It is...unfocused- scrambled- and I do not like to think about it. One of my current colleagues ran tests - according to her, the black hole essentially took me apart and reassembled me. It gave me my power over gravity, and it...adjusted my mind." It's a very mild description of events, to say the least. "I can hear- the music of creation- the melody of the cosmos-" It swells in his mind as he describes, louder and louder, pushing against his thoughts- "It sings to me- the answers are there, if only I could- if I could understand-"
As it so often does, the melody pushes into his mind, weaving through his thoughts, quickly subsuming them until he is gone, floating in an abyss of mathematics and music-
Until, as it so often does, the melody subsides, leaving a cold reality in its wake and the knowledge that Siebren has once again lost the thread of conversation. How long has he been gone? He does not know, but- but they are still here, and he is partway through an explanation.
"I...become lost in it, sometimes," he finishes weakly, as though they have not just witnessed it happen.