Though he does not yet know it, Seto's train of thought is exactly correct; he had not been rescued out of the kindness of anyone's heart, and it had taken him far too long to realize it. "And yet I am still being used, I think," he says quietly, wrapping an arm around Seto as he settles in. It's a terrible assessment, but so far as he can tell, an accurate one.
"My colleagues helped me recover and even gave me lab space and equipment - they encouraged me to return to my work, and I was happy to do so. I suppose it was a matter of time before they requested my skills in return." A viewpoint he can hold now, with the benefit of hindsight and a day's worth of clear thought, though it had taken him entirely by surprise at the time. "They required the use of my powers on missions. I was never given the parameters of the mission outside of my personal objective, and I was rebuffed when I inquired, but they were all...violent." His throat works for a moment, but he presses on. "I have never liked violence, and living through the Omnic Crisis only cemented that opinion, but...it was expected of me. They were angry, if I did not perform up to standard, and while they never threatened to return me to captivity, they also did not assure me they would not." The threat had hung heavily in the air, over Siebren's terror and guilt, leaving him only one way to survive.
"And so I created Sigma. He is...a mindset - another layer between me and the mission at hand. Every choice I make is still my own, but it is...easier, for Sigma to do what must be done during missions. Sigma is able to enact violence as needed, and I handle the consequences afterwards." The fact that his mask shares the name he had been assigned in captivity does not escape him, though he cannot think on the subject too hard before the melody subsumes him. "Seto is one of the few people here who has seen him in action." He had been active during the final fight on Nion, but no one had recognized the change in the chaos; Ken had also witnessed Sigma, but that version of Ken is long since departed.
"I was not able to consider the implications - of the missions, of what my colleagues were truly after, of why Sigma would be necessary - until just recently. That day that sent us all back in time did not send me far, but it placed me before my experiments but with my memories intact. Normally, I cannot think too deeply on more troubling subjects without being overtaken by the melody, but that day-" His voice wavers and he stops, remembering that day. Remembering the realization of just how much blood was on Sigma's - his - hands, at the behest of a group of people he does not truly know with motivations that are suspect at best. "Sigma- I have done terrible things," he manages, "for people whose motives I have been unable to question until just recently. I do not know who they are or what they truly want - only that they have been using me and I cannot say no."
no subject
"My colleagues helped me recover and even gave me lab space and equipment - they encouraged me to return to my work, and I was happy to do so. I suppose it was a matter of time before they requested my skills in return." A viewpoint he can hold now, with the benefit of hindsight and a day's worth of clear thought, though it had taken him entirely by surprise at the time. "They required the use of my powers on missions. I was never given the parameters of the mission outside of my personal objective, and I was rebuffed when I inquired, but they were all...violent." His throat works for a moment, but he presses on. "I have never liked violence, and living through the Omnic Crisis only cemented that opinion, but...it was expected of me. They were angry, if I did not perform up to standard, and while they never threatened to return me to captivity, they also did not assure me they would not." The threat had hung heavily in the air, over Siebren's terror and guilt, leaving him only one way to survive.
"And so I created Sigma. He is...a mindset - another layer between me and the mission at hand. Every choice I make is still my own, but it is...easier, for Sigma to do what must be done during missions. Sigma is able to enact violence as needed, and I handle the consequences afterwards." The fact that his mask shares the name he had been assigned in captivity does not escape him, though he cannot think on the subject too hard before the melody subsumes him. "Seto is one of the few people here who has seen him in action." He had been active during the final fight on Nion, but no one had recognized the change in the chaos; Ken had also witnessed Sigma, but that version of Ken is long since departed.
"I was not able to consider the implications - of the missions, of what my colleagues were truly after, of why Sigma would be necessary - until just recently. That day that sent us all back in time did not send me far, but it placed me before my experiments but with my memories intact. Normally, I cannot think too deeply on more troubling subjects without being overtaken by the melody, but that day-" His voice wavers and he stops, remembering that day. Remembering the realization of just how much blood was on Sigma's - his - hands, at the behest of a group of people he does not truly know with motivations that are suspect at best. "Sigma- I have done terrible things," he manages, "for people whose motives I have been unable to question until just recently. I do not know who they are or what they truly want - only that they have been using me and I cannot say no."