"That is... that's how people learn, Shadow! You listen to other people and then do research and draw conclusions from the juncture of what you were told and what your research verifies. That is not a lack of faith in anyone, nor a lack of trust! It is the same as not taking what you read in a single book as the be all end all! You check many sources, collaborate them. And then yes, try to make sense of it! How are you supposed to understand something that doesn't make sense to you? You research until you understand! Until it does make sense. That is how learning works!"
"And I never said Link wasn't good enough...!" He... he just was...
Why was he the only one not allowed to be hurt? Why was he supposed to always be honest with his son but also supposed to hide how he felt? That was what made no sense. Link didn't want to be left behind but neither did Clef. At least... now he didn't. It never really bothered him before. But now he had people that if he lost...
His life had been dedicated to the princess, his students, and his studies. But had his princess been safe and just no longer needed him... Actually that had happened, before she was taken. He had seen her and Ferio less and less once she moved past what he could teach her, once her power was so much stronger than his that he was needed only for advice. And that only rarely, because Ceiphro, frankly, was peaceful. Or had been. And Ferio...
There were reasons he wanted Ferio and Link to meet. And reasons he dreaded them meeting. and they were... pretty much the same reasons. The two were so alike, would get along so well. He just knew it.
Would Link also decide he no longer needed Clef then, though...?
Clef saw him so rarely on the train as it was. Was this... this the beginning of it happening again? But this time... this time it would hurt. So much. But was it best for Link...?
If.. If he had given up, if his Will had flagged like Shadow had said.... was that why?
No... he would stay until Link decided he no longer needed him, right...? Right?
Not that it was likely to take much longer. Link... He had always wondered why Link had actually accepted him, how he could ever be good enough to be Link's father and now Link himself was questioning it...
Shadow thought he never questioned himself? He always questioned himself. Constantly. That was why he always tried so hard to be more, to be better, to be able to keep them all safe. Because he knew he wasn't doing enough, wasn't good enough. It was why he stopped letting people calling him Guru for a while, because he questioned if he still deserved the title.
"I question all the time," he said finally, softly. "If I could stop being controlled all the time, then I would have one less thing to always question myself over." He rubbed at his face, surprised to find it wet. He closed his eyes and let his hands stay over his face.
He wanted to be good enough, to be able to protect his boys and Zelda. To be able to make it up to the Knights. To know that everyone he cared about was safe and happy.
Never question himself? He was constantly aware of how inadequate he was to that task.
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"And I never said Link wasn't good enough...!" He... he just was...
Why was he the only one not allowed to be hurt? Why was he supposed to always be honest with his son but also supposed to hide how he felt? That was what made no sense. Link didn't want to be left behind but neither did Clef. At least... now he didn't. It never really bothered him before. But now he had people that if he lost...
His life had been dedicated to the princess, his students, and his studies. But had his princess been safe and just no longer needed him... Actually that had happened, before she was taken. He had seen her and Ferio less and less once she moved past what he could teach her, once her power was so much stronger than his that he was needed only for advice. And that only rarely, because Ceiphro, frankly, was peaceful. Or had been. And Ferio...
There were reasons he wanted Ferio and Link to meet. And reasons he dreaded them meeting. and they were... pretty much the same reasons. The two were so alike, would get along so well. He just knew it.
Would Link also decide he no longer needed Clef then, though...?
Clef saw him so rarely on the train as it was. Was this... this the beginning of it happening again? But this time... this time it would hurt. So much. But was it best for Link...?
If.. If he had given up, if his Will had flagged like Shadow had said.... was that why?
No... he would stay until Link decided he no longer needed him, right...? Right?
Not that it was likely to take much longer. Link... He had always wondered why Link had actually accepted him, how he could ever be good enough to be Link's father and now Link himself was questioning it...
Shadow thought he never questioned himself? He always questioned himself. Constantly. That was why he always tried so hard to be more, to be better, to be able to keep them all safe. Because he knew he wasn't doing enough, wasn't good enough. It was why he stopped letting people calling him Guru for a while, because he questioned if he still deserved the title.
"I question all the time," he said finally, softly. "If I could stop being controlled all the time, then I would have one less thing to always question myself over." He rubbed at his face, surprised to find it wet. He closed his eyes and let his hands stay over his face.
He wanted to be good enough, to be able to protect his boys and Zelda. To be able to make it up to the Knights. To know that everyone he cared about was safe and happy.
Never question himself? He was constantly aware of how inadequate he was to that task.