"Except ya take what's in a book over what we say. About our world, about how things work there, about souls and magic and even what I am. Ya took Will to be everything because it is in yers and Nautilus without considering other worlds. Ya only take in the knowledge ya decide is valid over trusting what we say is valid," Shadow said. "Which honestly, does explain why I have to hold yer hand through any difficult conversation. It seems like ya can't retain that information for more than two seconds 'cause ya couldn't learn it on yer own."
"And ya did. Ya put it on Link for not breaking ya out sooner. Despite the fact he knew he wasn't getting through to ya, and despite the fact I needed him and I was becoming a danger to ya. Link did the best thing he could have at the time. He hated he had to, but he couldn't find a way to break ya out and deal with me and abandoning me would have made me worse. He knew he could help me. All he would have with ya was throwing rocks at a mountain in the hopes it'd collapse. He chose the option where he could actually made a difference because ya refused to be helped." Shadow was almost snarling at the end, fangs visible for a moment.
Then he closes his eyes, breathes, let it out. "Fact is, it sucked that's what we had to do. But all other options were going to be worse. But yer too obsessed with thinking ya can logic out of mind control and hating yer own weakness to recognize yer son was doing his best, and he will already never forgive himself for having to leave ya behind, and ya just throw it in his face so he feels worse."
He opens his eyes, looking at Clef with a hard look. He's too mad to be swayed by tears. Whatever worry and fondness there was, was overwhelmed by anger and resentment and hurt. And in the end, he doesn't lie about what he is.
"No, ya question what is safe to question. 'I don't know what fatherhood is like objectively, so I'm allowed to question it.' 'I don't know how to not be controlled, so I can question how to do it.' Ya don't ever look at yerself and wonder 'maybe the way I approach things is wrong.' Or 'maybe I'm too stuck in my own bias to learn.' Yer so used to being the wise old man ya forget yer as clueless as a kid in these other places and ya just don't learn. And when pushed, when yer own brain told ya something ya didn't like, instead of going 'wait, is this me,' ya decided 'well, this is terrible enough, I'll just give up entirely and die.'"
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"And ya did. Ya put it on Link for not breaking ya out sooner. Despite the fact he knew he wasn't getting through to ya, and despite the fact I needed him and I was becoming a danger to ya. Link did the best thing he could have at the time. He hated he had to, but he couldn't find a way to break ya out and deal with me and abandoning me would have made me worse. He knew he could help me. All he would have with ya was throwing rocks at a mountain in the hopes it'd collapse. He chose the option where he could actually made a difference because ya refused to be helped." Shadow was almost snarling at the end, fangs visible for a moment.
Then he closes his eyes, breathes, let it out. "Fact is, it sucked that's what we had to do. But all other options were going to be worse. But yer too obsessed with thinking ya can logic out of mind control and hating yer own weakness to recognize yer son was doing his best, and he will already never forgive himself for having to leave ya behind, and ya just throw it in his face so he feels worse."
He opens his eyes, looking at Clef with a hard look. He's too mad to be swayed by tears. Whatever worry and fondness there was, was overwhelmed by anger and resentment and hurt. And in the end, he doesn't lie about what he is.
"No, ya question what is safe to question. 'I don't know what fatherhood is like objectively, so I'm allowed to question it.' 'I don't know how to not be controlled, so I can question how to do it.' Ya don't ever look at yerself and wonder 'maybe the way I approach things is wrong.' Or 'maybe I'm too stuck in my own bias to learn.' Yer so used to being the wise old man ya forget yer as clueless as a kid in these other places and ya just don't learn. And when pushed, when yer own brain told ya something ya didn't like, instead of going 'wait, is this me,' ya decided 'well, this is terrible enough, I'll just give up entirely and die.'"