voidtreckerexpress | Death Just Needs A Little Conversation [Open]

Entry tags:

Death Just Needs A Little Conversation [Open]

Who: Ryo and Open (angled towards those with death powers/connections)
Where: ICP/Garden Car
When: Nebula 3
What: Ryo is coming to terms with the fact that he's kept his death-related Diagad powers, so now he's asking for help with them. (They're not what he's afraid they are, but he doesn't know that yet.)
Warnings: Probably a lot of death talk, but we'll go from there.
Notes: It starts as an ICP post, but he won't be replying on the network, only in person. Anyone is welcome to join in; he's just angling for people with Insight Into Death. (I'll also match prose or brackets.)

[Ryo looks...uncertain at best, but much closer to 'worried but trying not to show it' as the ICP flickers on.]

If anyone is connected to death, or has death-related powers, I could use your help.

[-wait that sounds bad-]

It's nothing crazy - I just have...questions.

[He can't quite bring himself to say what he's actually worried about, so instead it's just:]

I'll be in the garden car, if you wouldn't mind coming to see me.

[And the ICP flickers off. He's not planning on having this conversation in front of the train and everyone, so in-person it is. True to his word, he's sitting on one of the benches in the garden car with Lagos in his lap, holding the plush bird and trying not to let his fears run away with him. He may not be entirely succeeding. It may be obvious.]

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Maybe? My Sense shouldn't be picking up dead people, though - only the living, and only those that think for themselves. It's all just...weird.

[His life on the train, summarized in a single sentence.]

I don't either, but I don't think it's connected to my healing? I'm just...worried about having the wrong power at hand. Trying to heal someone and hurting them instead.

[It's the fear that's been eating at him ever since he realized that he's likely kept his Diagad powers, and it's the reason he asked for help. He needs to figure this out.]

[Lagos warbles at Mort - quietly, though his definition of quiet is still a little louder than most people's. Wait, you can hold things now?]

[It's the being studied that unnerves him, and he shifts just a bit, defensive and uncomfortable. Someone doing that to him has almost never been good news; even if Elidibus is offering to help, he still can't bypass that instinct.]

So you're a god.

[Or something close to it - everything works so differently from world to world that it's hard to keep track of things.]

[He looks up as Danny arrives, offering him a faint smile.]

You're actually part of the reason I started figuring this out. I can Sense your connection to death, and I couldn't do that before.

It hasn't happened at all yet - not outside of the illusion, at least. It's just-

[He struggles for a moment, tries to center himself, doesn't quite get all of the way there, and continues anyway.]

I'm a healer, and my healing requires touch to connect. I don't- I'm worried that I might try to help someone, and then-

[He falters again, but the rest of the sentence should be obvious enough: he's afraid he'll try to save a life and accidentally end up taking it instead.]

[It is a good instinct to have. Elidibus certainly won't fault Ryo for it.]

To most mortals, yes. Especially of my world, my people have been seen as gods. Yet amongst ourselves, we were but fellow man. You're welcome to view me as either man or god. And for now we are fellow passengers and captives of this train. I am Elidibus and you are Ryo.

[The Ascian keeps himself up to date on the roster.

But the explanation of his possible godhood seems to have been considered mostly irrelevant. Elidibus continues on seeking after the matter he had answered the call for. The sense that he's studying Ryo also eases, as though recognizing the youth's discomfort.]

What questions do you have about death?

[It's been a long day so far. He looks up as Jingyi arrives and greets him with a tired smile, Lagos still on his lap but currently silent.]

Kind of. Everyone's got a different opinion, and I'm not exactly sure what to do yet.

[Aside from take them all in, mull them over, and discard the ones he doesn't trust or can't do. It's...a lot.]

You know what healing feels like. You can see it happen before you. Even if you somehow touch upon that again, you'll know and can break the connection or reverse things before lasting harm is done. You may be reckless and inattentive with yourself, but you wouldn't do that to your patient.

If you could take life away from the living, you'd be sensing something from them and not those already connected to death, accurate?

[ Thanatos may have trouble trusting his own feelings, may not know what role he plays anymore, but he knows death. It's life he has trouble with.

Mort just opens and closes his little paws. One can almost imagine Mort smiling smugly at Lagos despite him not saying anything. ]

( With a subdued swish of his tail, he cants his head, lifting his brows. )

Anything you want to talk about?

( Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. He has no idea which way it works for Ryo, but that's where the offer comes in. He can listen, or he can not be involved, whatever's helpful. )

[He honestly ponders that for a bit before coming to a conclusion.]

Do you mind if we have tea first?

[Wait. He shouldn't assume.]

If that's for sharing, I mean.

I brought it for you, so yeah, as long as you want to share, I'm happy to share. Mind if I light the incense first?

( He gestures toward the memorial stone, tall enough to be visible from most places within the carriage. )

Oh- of course.

[He waits while Jingyi lights the incense, pondering a moment before picking up the teapot. He pours a bit of it into one of the cups, judges it sufficiently steeped, and pours two cups. He can do his part, at least.]

Yeah.

[He doesn't have to spell it out.]

From what I can tell, none of us have the option to just not have the power. So now it's a case of figuring out how to work with it.

( he nods, heading down the way to the memorial stone, crouching to extract the embers of the prior incense cone. pouring them into a little dish he pulls out of his hoodie pocket, then taking another incense out of the box resting by the side of the memorial, on top of another box containing more of the incense. lighting it doesn't take long, once he has it in the incense holder, forming a seal and letting his fingertip be the focal point for the fire, lighting it that way.

that done, with the incense rising, he settles the top back over, returning the mountainside etched in metal to full form. he stands, dusts his hands off against each other and straightens the fall of his hoodie, and carries the small dish of ashes back with him to join Ryo where he's sitting. the ashes are set off to his side, and he nods his head to Ryo, noticing the pours of tea, picking the one closer to him up and lifting it to Ryo as a silent sort of salute. )

Thank you for pouring.

( that noted, he does take a sip after. )

[It's a familiar gesture, and he toasts Jingyi back with his own cup of tea.]

Thank you for bringing it.

[On his lap, Lagos warbles his thanks as well. Jingyi's a good person.]

Mm, welcome.

( Even the small warbling creature merits a sort of contemplative look; Jingyi hadn't expected it to do anything, though it looks like, feels like one of Thanatos's creations? Whatever that word was, it doesn't come readily to mind in the moment.

Tail offering a contemplative, lazy twitch from where it rests behind him on the rocky ground, Jingyi simply settles into silence, taking sips of tea and regarding the garden. It's not particularly garden-like in the expansive sense he knows, but there are places in Gusu Lan which are rock gardens kept combed and curated around individual stones, here and there. The lotuses off in the central pond are nice, and familiar in some ways; Wei-shizhang had planted some with Hanguang-jun back home in their residence, and they'd done well, regardless of how cold the winters grow. )

[That's a hell of an introduction, in that it isn't one at all. Despite Elidibus's offer to help, it does absolutely nothing to set him at ease.]

I am.

[It's the first time in a very long time that he's felt ill at ease with one of the gods or spirits aboard the train. He hasn't missed this feeling.]

[But...he asked for help, and Elidibus came. He may as well try.]

They're...not about death itself, exactly. Were you here for the Diagad mission?

[He should know this, but he can't keep track of everyone.]

"I kind of feel like I should apologize for that?" He shrugs a little uncomfortably. "I probably feel really weird, if you're starting to sense death stuff."

He wasn't even completely sure what he was, let alone what he feel like to other people.

[He drinks his tea in silence and looks out over the car, keeping one hand on Lagos. Lagos can't do much other than be there and chatter, but having him close is still a comfort.]

[He lets the silence settle for a bit, trying to settle the thoughts chasing themselves around his head, before he finally speaks up.]

I'm trying not to be scared, but I think I still am.

[That's the core of it, he thinks.]

"Don't apologize for who you are." The response is immediate and firm. He's had enough of that in his life already, and he doesn't like seeing it in someone else. His tone softens a bit when he speaks again. "I could already Sense life - this is just a different aspect of it, I think. It still feels like you."

"Well, that's good? I think?" A shrug. "If I didn't explain before, I'm kind of stuck between being alive or dead. Or you know, human or ghost as I usually call it. It sounds a little less creepy."

"It's good. It doesn't change who you are - it's just more insight on my part." He thinks? He has no idea why his Sense has shifted or what exactly it's telling him. He's pretty sure it's tied to his Diagad powers, hence the request for help, but he still has no details.

Being stuck between life and death sounds a little more worrying, honestly. "Is that normal for your world?" Something Danny had said earlier clicks into place. "Or is that why you keep getting kidnapped?"

( Jingyi blinks, slow and thoughtful, nodding his head after a moment. )

Usually smarter to be scared. Not to let it stop you, but to know you're afraid, and why. Moving through it, or asking for help to, I figure that's part of it.

( Without knowing specifics, it's his way to talk about the general concepts of fears; and to think back, in what being scared is, and how to move forward through it until you're out the other side. (... Possession aside, for himself.) )

What I mean is, isn't that okay? To be scared, but not let being scared take charge.

[He feels like he should argue the reckless and inattentive with yourself bit, but...he honestly can't, can he. The application of cold, hard logic to his problem should probably sting a little, but actually, it helps. Thanatos is right: he knows his healing, how it works and what it feels like, well enough to put a stop to anything that feels wrong. He'd been able to do that with the Sali-]

[-and it had hurt them anyway.]

[Gods, now there's a path he doesn't want to go down, and he tries to yank his thoughts back from it.]

You don't need powers to take life away from the living.

[...okay, dark if still true, and it also tells him that he's still not quite back on track. He takes a breath and sighs, trying to center himself, at least a little.]

But...I guess? I don't know. I could already Sense the living, but picking up on people connected to death...what do you even do with that? Or do you think I'd be Sensing the living differently if I'd kept my Diagad powers exactly as they were?

[He's less afraid now than he is confused, which is an improvement over how he'd been when he'd asked for help.]

[Lagos does not miss Mort displaying his brand new kung fu grip, and he rattles excitedly. Since when? Since when?]

[Elidibus keeps a certain distance as Ryo doesn't appear to have relaxed at all. As long as the youth doesn't ask for him to depart, the Ascian won't.

Ease will come with time or not. At least Elidibus has practice dealing with the outcome of both. The question causes the Ascian to close his eyes momentarily.]

Yes, I was here.

[When his eyes open again he seems thoughtful. There are many reasons to be asking about death related to that and Ryo has already eliminated one option. Though rather than offer his guess on the matter, Elidibus instead offers a prompt.]

If not about the cycle of death, then what would you like to know?

[ Thanatos stares blankly at Ryo. Out of anyone, Thanatos would know that it doesn't take powers to kill someone. The ways mortals can die are vast, and they seem to keep inventing new ways to do so. ]

If you could do something to the living with whatever you think you have, then you would be Sensing something with the living. Your Sense towards them hasn't changed. As for what you do when Sensing the dead, I usually cut their thread and bring them to the Underworld. But I'm not on assignment. The pull isn't there.

[ Was Ryo asking him what to do? He's not sure because whatever Thanatos could give him for that wouldn't necessarily be what Ryo could do.

Mort flicks an ear in thought. He can't place an exact date, but it doesn't matter. This is something Mort can do and not Lagos. He opens his paws in his best "I don't know" gesture. ]

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Death Just Needs A Little Conversation [Open]

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