It hasn't happened at all yet - not outside of the illusion, at least. It's just-

[He struggles for a moment, tries to center himself, doesn't quite get all of the way there, and continues anyway.]

I'm a healer, and my healing requires touch to connect. I don't- I'm worried that I might try to help someone, and then-

[He falters again, but the rest of the sentence should be obvious enough: he's afraid he'll try to save a life and accidentally end up taking it instead.]