Shadow snorted at Link's joke. "Only ya would give up an arm with the thought of being useful with the other," he said with an amused smirk. "Do agree though, ya can stand to say no a little more. Pretty sure after two world savings, yer allowed to pass the buck to someone else."
Clef caught Shadow's eye and he looked to meet his gaze. But as he spoke, the amused look faded, face slowly becoming more and more blank as he spoke. His grip on Link's hand shifted, moving to hook his arm around his, leaning against his side, the subtle twitching of his form leaning towards Link, a few wisps curling around him.
An anchor.
"Except ya don't," he said, voice dull. "And the example ya gave is the exact proof of what ya see. Because what yer seeing is a choice that Link would have grappled with. Ya see the choice that Vio made. Ya know, when I discovered his betrayal, I was so...surprised. I had been able to predict them over and over and I understood Vio figured out how to turn that trick against me, but he did the one thing I couldn't think of."
"He could still kill me after we became friends. Because it was for the greater good. He could smile and pretend and care and have the selfish desire to want me in his life. And still choose to be the hero. I had watched them struggle against other knights, the innocent, go so far because they had to save Zelda...I never thought for a moment he could make the connection and go through with it. I didn't take account for the fact that unlike the rest of them, I was either removed or they lost, and he couldn't make any other choice," Shadow said, voice distant, detached. "That isn't something I can do."
"Killing y'all was never an option at the gate. Maybe fight, but I dismissed that because I couldn't hold back and win and killing wasn't an option. Doing nothing was an option. What I did was an option." He threw up his free hand. "Joining Endos was an option, I thought about it because hey, he could make them not care about Hyrule and then they wouldn't care about my lies. But I don't choose to do the greater good for the greater good. I did what I did because I didn't want Link and Zelda or even ya to hurt and that was the best way to minimize damage."
He breathes deep and lets it out. His voice is still dull and detached. The shadows of his body, however, are curling more and more around Link, his normally purple hair now black, his eyes a paler blue. Because controlling his form is difficult when he's having a lot of emotions and something in his forced composure had to give, and the voice is more important. "Because I'm selfish. If its between the world and what I want, I will choose what I want. And I want these people to want me in their life, I want their lives to be easier than they are. I want to fulfill the words Zelda spoke to me, I want them to be proud of me, I want them to be happy, I want them to see me, I want them to know even if my motives are selfish, my care is genuine. And they are enough to ignore my worst impulses. They are enough to be a better person then I would be on my own. Because fundamentally, I'm not that different. I'm selfish, I'm prone to anger, loneliness, obsession, I have all these dark thoughts. And I will still choose what I want over the world. I just understand the choices I made did nothing except get all the pain in me outside, but it didn't make it better. I didn't change everything that I was. It was only a few things, but mostly it was willing to face reality for the first time, and being offered a hand to do something new."
no subject
Clef caught Shadow's eye and he looked to meet his gaze. But as he spoke, the amused look faded, face slowly becoming more and more blank as he spoke. His grip on Link's hand shifted, moving to hook his arm around his, leaning against his side, the subtle twitching of his form leaning towards Link, a few wisps curling around him.
An anchor.
"Except ya don't," he said, voice dull. "And the example ya gave is the exact proof of what ya see. Because what yer seeing is a choice that Link would have grappled with. Ya see the choice that Vio made. Ya know, when I discovered his betrayal, I was so...surprised. I had been able to predict them over and over and I understood Vio figured out how to turn that trick against me, but he did the one thing I couldn't think of."
"He could still kill me after we became friends. Because it was for the greater good. He could smile and pretend and care and have the selfish desire to want me in his life. And still choose to be the hero. I had watched them struggle against other knights, the innocent, go so far because they had to save Zelda...I never thought for a moment he could make the connection and go through with it. I didn't take account for the fact that unlike the rest of them, I was either removed or they lost, and he couldn't make any other choice," Shadow said, voice distant, detached. "That isn't something I can do."
"Killing y'all was never an option at the gate. Maybe fight, but I dismissed that because I couldn't hold back and win and killing wasn't an option. Doing nothing was an option. What I did was an option." He threw up his free hand. "Joining Endos was an option, I thought about it because hey, he could make them not care about Hyrule and then they wouldn't care about my lies. But I don't choose to do the greater good for the greater good. I did what I did because I didn't want Link and Zelda or even ya to hurt and that was the best way to minimize damage."
He breathes deep and lets it out. His voice is still dull and detached. The shadows of his body, however, are curling more and more around Link, his normally purple hair now black, his eyes a paler blue. Because controlling his form is difficult when he's having a lot of emotions and something in his forced composure had to give, and the voice is more important. "Because I'm selfish. If its between the world and what I want, I will choose what I want. And I want these people to want me in their life, I want their lives to be easier than they are. I want to fulfill the words Zelda spoke to me, I want them to be proud of me, I want them to be happy, I want them to see me, I want them to know even if my motives are selfish, my care is genuine. And they are enough to ignore my worst impulses. They are enough to be a better person then I would be on my own. Because fundamentally, I'm not that different. I'm selfish, I'm prone to anger, loneliness, obsession, I have all these dark thoughts. And I will still choose what I want over the world. I just understand the choices I made did nothing except get all the pain in me outside, but it didn't make it better. I didn't change everything that I was. It was only a few things, but mostly it was willing to face reality for the first time, and being offered a hand to do something new."