Well that was a side of Clef she'd never seen before; which, she was realizing, probably wasn't a good or healthy thing. Clef was rather like the old Jedi, in that he was so trained to be detached from emotions that when he did feel strongly about something or someone, he didn't know how to control or process it. Which explained a great deal about why he was having so much trouble understanding Shadow's motivations, which were based almost entirely around the darker, more selfish emotions that he'd likely been taught to cut out of his life as completely as possible. Alright, she could work with that.
"Thank you for acknowledging the hurt you've caused and apologizing, Clef," Leia said, beginning with what Clef was finally doing right. "But you're still not quite getting it. It's perfectly alright for you to feel that Shadow is a wonderful person and to care about him, but you need to see and understand that he can be- and is- that wonderful person you care about without his motivations fitting your perceived mold of ones that would typically make someone a good person. And that that's OK, and doesn't diminish or invalidate those motivations or the feelings behind them in the slightest. You don't need to try and rationalize your feelings for him by trying to make him fit that mold."
"You have a certain set of ideas and perceptions about what can make someone a good person. Not just what sort of actions they perform, but what sort of thoughts, emotions, and motivations are likely to drive those actions. Everyone does. But when dealing with Shadow- whose emotions and motivations fall outside that definition- rather than working to expand it to include new ways of becoming and being a good person, you're stubbornly trying to fit him into the ideas you already have on the subject. 'Because he's a good person, and I care about him, then his motivations must be these.'"
"That's what we mean when we say you're trying to be right. You're trying to retain that too rigid and narrow definition of what makes someone good and worthy of your love, rather than acknowledging its narrowness and expanding it. You're not seeing Shadow as he is because you're refusing to expand your perceptions to include him. Do you understand?"
"As for what I could do, if pushed over the edge and turned fully to the Dark Side? Yes, I could absolutely cause a great deal of devastation if that happened. When someone in my family goes that far, the entire galaxy tends to pay for it. I'm not sure what- if anything- could do that to me now, but the possibility is there."
"And when it comes to relationships between an adult and a younger person- or at least someone who's perceived to be younger- some parental or mentorship aspects are likely to creep in whether it's intentional or not. That's just how those relationships tend to fall out, I've found. But given the situation, friendship would likely be a better definition of Clef and Shadow's current relationship, however strongly you feel about it, Clef. You could, eventually, work up to a father-son relationship if that's something you both decided you wanted, but that's clearly not what it is now, and that's alright."
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"Thank you for acknowledging the hurt you've caused and apologizing, Clef," Leia said, beginning with what Clef was finally doing right. "But you're still not quite getting it. It's perfectly alright for you to feel that Shadow is a wonderful person and to care about him, but you need to see and understand that he can be- and is- that wonderful person you care about without his motivations fitting your perceived mold of ones that would typically make someone a good person. And that that's OK, and doesn't diminish or invalidate those motivations or the feelings behind them in the slightest. You don't need to try and rationalize your feelings for him by trying to make him fit that mold."
"You have a certain set of ideas and perceptions about what can make someone a good person. Not just what sort of actions they perform, but what sort of thoughts, emotions, and motivations are likely to drive those actions. Everyone does. But when dealing with Shadow- whose emotions and motivations fall outside that definition- rather than working to expand it to include new ways of becoming and being a good person, you're stubbornly trying to fit him into the ideas you already have on the subject. 'Because he's a good person, and I care about him, then his motivations must be these.'"
"That's what we mean when we say you're trying to be right. You're trying to retain that too rigid and narrow definition of what makes someone good and worthy of your love, rather than acknowledging its narrowness and expanding it. You're not seeing Shadow as he is because you're refusing to expand your perceptions to include him. Do you understand?"
"As for what I could do, if pushed over the edge and turned fully to the Dark Side? Yes, I could absolutely cause a great deal of devastation if that happened. When someone in my family goes that far, the entire galaxy tends to pay for it. I'm not sure what- if anything- could do that to me now, but the possibility is there."
"And when it comes to relationships between an adult and a younger person- or at least someone who's perceived to be younger- some parental or mentorship aspects are likely to creep in whether it's intentional or not. That's just how those relationships tend to fall out, I've found. But given the situation, friendship would likely be a better definition of Clef and Shadow's current relationship, however strongly you feel about it, Clef. You could, eventually, work up to a father-son relationship if that's something you both decided you wanted, but that's clearly not what it is now, and that's alright."