"It doesn't matter what ya meant to do, the fact was, ya were doing it," Shadow said, eyes focused on Clef. He didn't care about the staff. Something so simple, it was probably much like how it was difficult to keep his form still when he was emotional.
"That's the thing about people. A lot of the times, they do things without meaning to. They think what they know is best, that what helps them, helps others. From day one, ya expected things from me that just weren't there. Ya thought I was a good person, who was good without question, and I'm not. Ya called me son, without asking me what I wanted, decided we were family, and we weren't. Ya have always assumed so many things about me, and what I want, and what I need," Shadow said and he sighed.
"I don't need the validation of a father like Link does. I don't need unconditional belief. If anything, I need people willing to hold me accountable, and frankly Clef, I don't think ya would," Shadow said. "I know Link believes in me. I know Zelda believes in me too. I also know if I go off the deep end again, they would take me down. It'd break their heart, it'd hurt them bad, but I also know they would. And that is such a relief to know, and its more of a relief to know that if they ever saw a sign before hand, they would just talk to me about it. Because they're willing to look at everything, they're willing to believe me when I said I chose to do wrong, and acknowledge that part exists. They just also acknowledge the parts of me that doesn't want to be that person anymore and I'm so grateful for it."
He leans more against Link. "I know ya feel hurt about Diagad, and I get it, it sucks to feel abandoned, but there's also a part of me that's pretty angry because ya keep pitying yerself because ya want to pretend what Link did wasn't the right choice. Ya say I wouldn't have hurt ya. The fact is, I would have. Link understood that, and he knew the best thing to do was to get me away for all our sakes. Link would hate to see his family hurt each other badly, and the best outcome would be if ya actually got upset I hurt ya, but let's be honest, ya probably would have blamed it on the world somehow, said it wasn't me at all, and completely disregard my own responsibility in the action, and it would make me hate myself for my own broken resolve and just give up on friendship with ya entirely because I can't let someone in my life who would let me do something bad of my own volition and not even hold me the slightest bit accountable for it. Because that way just makes it easier the next time. Because that's happened before."
no subject
"That's the thing about people. A lot of the times, they do things without meaning to. They think what they know is best, that what helps them, helps others. From day one, ya expected things from me that just weren't there. Ya thought I was a good person, who was good without question, and I'm not. Ya called me son, without asking me what I wanted, decided we were family, and we weren't. Ya have always assumed so many things about me, and what I want, and what I need," Shadow said and he sighed.
"I don't need the validation of a father like Link does. I don't need unconditional belief. If anything, I need people willing to hold me accountable, and frankly Clef, I don't think ya would," Shadow said. "I know Link believes in me. I know Zelda believes in me too. I also know if I go off the deep end again, they would take me down. It'd break their heart, it'd hurt them bad, but I also know they would. And that is such a relief to know, and its more of a relief to know that if they ever saw a sign before hand, they would just talk to me about it. Because they're willing to look at everything, they're willing to believe me when I said I chose to do wrong, and acknowledge that part exists. They just also acknowledge the parts of me that doesn't want to be that person anymore and I'm so grateful for it."
He leans more against Link. "I know ya feel hurt about Diagad, and I get it, it sucks to feel abandoned, but there's also a part of me that's pretty angry because ya keep pitying yerself because ya want to pretend what Link did wasn't the right choice. Ya say I wouldn't have hurt ya. The fact is, I would have. Link understood that, and he knew the best thing to do was to get me away for all our sakes. Link would hate to see his family hurt each other badly, and the best outcome would be if ya actually got upset I hurt ya, but let's be honest, ya probably would have blamed it on the world somehow, said it wasn't me at all, and completely disregard my own responsibility in the action, and it would make me hate myself for my own broken resolve and just give up on friendship with ya entirely because I can't let someone in my life who would let me do something bad of my own volition and not even hold me the slightest bit accountable for it. Because that way just makes it easier the next time. Because that's happened before."