(no subject)

[blue_ice]

Who: Kaiba & you!
What: Contemplating his life choices and dealing with uncomfortable feelings
When: late Fiddlesticks, a few days after his network post
Where: Various places
Warnings: discussion of the murder plot, repressed trauma, zombie attacks, and child abuse likely. proceed with caution.

in and around cabin 3-D

Kaiba's roommates may note that he hasn't been sleeping much...at least, not at normal times. He's taken to burrowing under the blanket, using the flashlight function on his SCA to read or write. He's being very quiet and unobtrusive while he does this, but he might slip up sometimes. Sorry, roommates.

He'll head out to breakfast with everyone, of course, but sneak back to the room for naps throughout the day. It's mid-afternoon and everyone's socializing, while he trudges back through the sleepers with bags under his eyes.

"Screw this."

rock garden

Kaiba's next stop is the rock garden. He looks around warily for the weird book and his toll booth, but eventually settles into a corner at the end of one of the streams. He kneels, takes a breath, and splashes water on his face. He does it again for good measure. It doesn't seem to help.

Eventually he makes his way to a bench, tilting his head up and watching the void drift by through the clear ceiling. He probably...shouldn't do that for too long. He's humming a long forgotten tune as he sits.

cinema

Kaiba has selected a film that seems to fit his mood at the moment: Night of the Un-living Chefs, a bizarre spoof movie about a community of zombies with a bizarre ability to retain enough higher thought processing to cook.

Or at least that was what he thought he'd selected. Instead, the first episode of Merry Little Voidtrain is playing. He stares in disbelief for a moment:

"...seriously not in the mood right now."

But he resigns himself to taking his notebook out of his rucksack and starting on observations anyway.

Comments

[blue_ice]

[ He reaches for the control and nudges it. It doesn't budge. ]

...that's why. Seems to be stuck.

[ There's a colorful burst on screen as the town is saved! How delightful. Everyone cheers. ]

[blue_ice]

"That might be an understatement."

Kaiba laughs tiredly, trying to stretch the exhaustion out of his muscles where he sits.

"Careful alone, or careful with each other...I don't know how the train expects us to keep going like this. Unless slowly pressuring us like frogs in a boiler is the point."

[blue_ice]

"Yeah. The kids in this world must have...interesting stories they're told at home."

He looks blankly at the screen.

"Void trains and the heroes on them are legends. Not that we're...heroes, according to the ministry. We're certainly not overgrown rabbits, though."

[blue_ice]

Kaiba shivered a little. He really hated being known like this...it was so much easier to keep a distance back then. So much safer. But he liked Curufin, despite it all. And if he could help him achieve his goals of keeping the rest of the train safe, well, he would.

"It would have. I was almost too far gone to save by the time I met them. Though how far gone is too far is the question..."

He bowed his head and took a moment to breathe.

"I don't know if he'll accept my help, as a stranger. It's too easy for it to come across as pity, I know that from experience. But I support this effort, so long as we keep everyone else safe."

[draconite]

[ A thoughtful pause. ]

Do you perhaps think... someone might want you to watch it? One of the people managing the train, in fact! Could it be possible? Maybe they're trying to send you some sort of message!

[longforgottenpromise]

"Both." Careful full stop. He looked down sadly, "I don't know either. Having this many people, from so many places... It's asking for trouble."

People from many different worlds, different cultures, different levels of what was acceptable. All forced to live together, on top of each other and the only time they were allowed to leave was to be thrown into difficult and dangerous situations.

"It might be the point... But we do not know."

[loveandduty]

"All kids get fairy tales and horror stories to not do certain things, I know that."

Minako had soon gone to finally take a seat for a moment looking over at the screen.

"you are talking about that thing that happened before communication went wrong, right?" She asked looking over. "But I agree about not being rabbits, if we were any animal what would you prefer?" She figured it would be an interesting topic.

[blue_ice]

"Dragon," Kaiba answers, a little too quickly and confidently to be off the cuff. He then clears his throat and continues.

"Well...wouldn't anyone want to be able to fly? And wreak havoc?"

Please don't question the enthusiasm, Minako.

"What would your answer be?"

[so_dark_a_road]

Who wants the darkness to be known? Curufin didn't advertise his, either. But it positioned him very well to understand the experience of another. And he'd greatly appreciate the help with keeping the train safe. He believed that Kaiba had the same goal. Curufin liked Kaiba as well.

"It seems they showed up in the nick of time. And as to how far gone is too far? I wonder about that. Maybe it depends on how much support we get. You had wonderful support, that much is clear."

"I don't know if Xue Yang will accept your help, but I was a stranger to him until a month ago. If he'll accept my help, maybe he'll accept yours, too. I do think that he fears pity, and because of that, I try to come off as curious rather than pitying. But whether you are able to directly help with this or not, I am glad of your support."

[goingthroughaphase]

She couldn't help a snicker. "I can get binge-watching, but sometimes you need to take a break, otherwise nothing will stick."

[mtsilver_conquor]

"True." She says with a nod of understanding, and while she can poke at that blush, she doesn't. Not yet, anyway, but it is filed away.

"I did." Mama-elf hugs are the best hugs ok ok. Eva you are so biased. "It shook me more than it should've, but I'm ok now. Anyway, I'm more worried about you."

She's fine! Let her Big Sister you, Kaiba.

[loveandduty]

"Dragons, huh... " She spoke as if she was not at all surprised, considering what people think of dragons she could understand why he might pick them.

"I agree on the flying, not so much the wreck havoc, but for my answer... I don't know. Maybe a cat."

[blue_ice]

"To jump high and land on your feet? Or to be beloved by humans no matter what you do?"

Or something else? It's a fun exercise, and a welcome distraction from the pastel mess on the screen.

[blue_ice]

"We're still trying to come up with a system of universal rules. It's not going well."

Honestly, Kaiba looks exhausted from just thinking about it. But he's in no position to give up.

"So far we have...don't kill each other or our pets, and don't steal others' property. That's about it."

[blue_ice]

It could be. I wondered if the train was pulling people away from us who know too much...but maybe there are multiple forces at work here.

[ He scribbles another note in his notebook. ]

Someone who wants to keep us ignorant, and someone who wants us to know the truth.

[blue_ice]

"Right." He stretches as the episode finishes. "I haven't seen the light of the void in a while. You think it's time to go?"

[blue_ice]

Kaiba takes a heavy breath as he drinks. It does help to calm him, but he's still tired of it all.

"I never wanted to tell the others that much about myself. But Wester's in trouble, and if there's anything I can do to help..."

He doesn't want to admit how much he cares, but he does.

"I admit, the train's reaction to it all threw me for a loop. ."

[goingthroughaphase]

"Yeah, I think it's definitely time for a breather." Rising to her feet, she stretches as well before offering a hand to help him up. "I find grabbing a snack is a good thing to do between binge sessions."

[loveandduty]

"I find cats to be loyal." Which is usually a dog thing too, which she gets, but she was also use to cats.

"Which is strange since that is always associated with dogs and that one is also true."

[draconite]

Exactly! If they want to send you a message, the best kind to send is one that looks like it doesn't mean anything!

[ Now she's sounding excited. ]

Perhaps we'll learn something as we watch!

[longforgottenpromise]

"It's a good start." He nods, settling to sit down properly next to Kaiba.

"Perhaps it should be to not harm each other, instead of just not kill. I would like to think it would go without saying but..."

Recent events have shown that not everyone on the train shares the same moral code.

let me know if this isn't ok!

[mtsilver_conquor]

"Because the come from worlds where they are coddled." It's blunter than blunt, but it's what she thinks and feels. "They've never faced the harsher realities of the world so they react like frightened children when it's suddenly shoved in their faces. But," she says, voice serious.

"It doesn't mean what happened is okay because it isn't. It's... Gods. If that happened back home... Well. Execution would be on the paper given how serious it is."

It's said like the weather- a fact of life she's unashamed of.

[blue_ice]

Kaiba pales, but he nods. "I know we've been accused of being too soft. But a murder in retaliation won't accomplish much if they'll just revive."

He bows his head. "And there's nothing soft about the penalty game. The feeling of the abyss closing in on you, knowing you've failed and you'll never feel again...when you're dying, your last moments seem to stretch out for eternity. Even just the simulation of that is terrifying. It's how he'll react after that's the question."

Kaiba is quiet as he drinks his coffee. "I'll help if I can, but we have to be prepared for things to get worse before they get better."

[mtsilver_conquor]

"Execution isn't retaliation; its the ultimate punishment for crimes that threaten the peace of a people." Again, it's like this is the weather. "But like you said, unfeasible here and it'd be seen as cruel or heavy-handed."

She's silent for a bit, before: "Yeah, but the dark of the storm will pass. Just like it passed for you. I'm not saying psychic attacks are to be brushed off as nothing-" and for the briefest second, a shudder rips through her. "But people can come back from whatever damage is inflicted. You did."