I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take.

[unfavorableinstigation]

Who: Nita and YOU. Preferably close CR, but anyone can stop by.
Where: Quiet Car, second floor, a room near the front of the carriage.
When: Middle half of Grasshopper; post-platform, pre-event.
What: A(n ex-) wizard retreats. Some may come to reprimand, some to console, some just to find out WTF happened.
Warnings: ... Discussion of what's basically psychic assault in this log, folks. Mind your headspace!


After the platform, Nita retreated into herself. That was the best way to describe it; she could not be 'booked' in one of these rooms the same way she could have been in the Medical Car, but she spent as much time as she could in just the one room, not speaking unless spoken to, not leaving except to go to the restroom or fetch another journal.

No matter when one arrived to check on her, she would be either resting - staring off into space more than actually sleeping - or writing.

Some of the words were crossed out, as if she had had a tough time finding the right ones, but the writing looked to be formal in nature. A report. And, most notably, it was in English, not the alien curves of the Speech.

If she had to live with her actions, Nita figured, the least she could do was explain them - and explain why they were wrong.

Mostly, though, what encompassed her mind was the emptiness of it all. She couldn't even be angry now.

Fitting.

Comments

[death_from_above]

Spark didn't take long to find her. He didn't know fully what had happened, just that something had and that it involved Nita. So he went off to find her. Which wasn't hard. He wouldn't let people use him as a hunting dog, but his sense of smell was strong. So he tracked her down and let himself into the carriage. He leapt up onto her lap and looked up at her.

[unfavorableinstigation]

By the time Dairine came to visit, her sister had already been visited by a couple people.

And at the moment, she was busy writing, pausing only for a brief moment when the door opened yet again.

"... Come in."

The disturbing something in her voice had lessened, but it was still all too easy for a wizard to tell that something was wrong, had kept being wrong.

[unfavorableinstigation]

Nita's response consisted of two actions: to stand up while he was in her lap, and to not look at him.

What now, Spark?

[death_from_above]

He leapt nimbly to the seat then up onto her shoulder. He butted his face against her ear, and said nothing.

[unfavorableinstigation]

Then, finally, she spoke:

"And where have you been the past two weeks?"

The comfort did nothing for her, and that came through in her voice.

[blue_ice]

...oof. No wonder.

[ He looks at her, tired. ]

Are you two going to be okay?

[unfavorableinstigation]

[Nita sucks in a breath; how Bobo is doing is one of those things she's deliberately trying to not consider right now. Not when the guilt and grief would make things so much worse-]

I don't know.

[At least she's still honest.

Something entirely unrelated to that morning's events finally occurs to her, and her eyes open wide.]

Wait, the packages-! Kaiba, you have my permission to go through every one of the ones addressed to me. Add the books to the library.

[A pause.]

And Roland Crane gets half of the journals; not sure how many of those there are.

[She'd promised, and there are suddenly tears in her eyes because she's broken a promise, hasn't she? A much bigger one than that-]

Not the smile in the icon, but the phrase.

[death_from_above]

"Napping," he said, unapologetically. "Not that anyone tried to find me or tried too hard to wake me. I got up heard there was some drama with you and came to check. So, what did I miss?"

[unfavorableinstigation]

Nita found herself annoyed enough by his tone of voice that she just told it to him straight, no ornamentation.

"I psychically assaulted the train for information, and had my wizardly status revoked. Anything else you wanted to know about?"

[blue_ice]

I will.

[ He takes a quick note of what he should grab, then turns back to her. ]

Is there anything else I can do for you?

[unfavorableinstigation]

[Nita pauses, opening her mouth before aborting whatever thought was about to come out of her mouth.]

No, but... thank you, Kaiba.

[Then she finally eyes the dragon.]

That's for Yugi, then? ... Or from him?

[blue_ice]

...from him. He was worried I was getting lonely at night, and needed a companion.

[ He looks a little awkward, embarrassed, but swallows it. ]

You can pet her, if you want.

[death_from_above]

"Well that was stupid..." he said bluntly. "For how long? And what about Bending?"

[wizard_redfive]

Dairine shuts the door behind her, privately wondering if her sister had noticed that it was her or not. She seems very preoccupied. For good reason.

She leans against the door, arms folded. The subtle... hollowness to Nita's voice is still a little unsettling for Dairine. She hadn't had the privilege of hearing the Seniors when wizardry temporarily left them, so this is brand new territory for her.

Speaking of the Seniors...

"You sure are lucky that Tom and Carl aren't here."

[unfavorableinstigation]

[It provokes, of all things, a small smile from Nita.]

... No, but, thank you for the offer.

[She knows Blue Eyes means a LOT more to Kaiba than it ever could to her.]

[unfavorableinstigation]

"Spark," Nita said, with a vehemence.

"I haven't been able to Bend since I went home. I'm not going to suddenly start picking it back up again just because the peridexis cut me off!"

[blue_ice]

[ He gently scoops up the dragon. She's big, so it's a little awkward, but he manages. ]

Look...you don't have to enter this kind of fight alone. I understand why you might've. But the train holds all the cards, and that means an uphill battle.

Just tell us, next time?

[unfavorableinstigation]

"If they'd been here, I might still be a wizard. Been able to talk it over with someone instead of flipping straight into anger."

The answer comes out quickly, almost staccato, but Nita doesn't look up while she's speaking.

"If this had happened at home, though, I wouldn't even have my memories."

Hard to say which way was worse.

[unfavorableinstigation]

[Nita actually makes eye contact with him, for the first time that day. And while there's still something missing in her eyes... she's touched, by his words.]

I will.

[Another promise. Maybe this one, she'll get to keep too.]

... I don't know how this is going to impact the council, but I know it's going to come up. Don't-

[She pauses.]

Don't try to get me any special favors, okay?

[hotheadwarmheart]

It had been a couple days, and Lea hadn't really seen Nita, not even at meals. He hadn't thought much about it at first, but as time passed and she still didn't reappear, he started getting worried. Enough that he'd started checking her name on the passenger roster a couple times a day, just to be sure she was still there and in one piece.

After the most recent time of checking it, however, he felt annoyed with himself. It wasn't like him to just stand around worrying; he needed to actually do something. But what? After a bit of considering, it came to him; something to address two of his main worries at once.

An hour or so later, he was approaching the room where he'd last seen Nita, a tray bearing a gently steaming bowl of soup and two bottles of water in hand. Sure enough, there was Nita, working on writing something. He couldn't quite read it from where he was standing, but it didn't seem to be going well, whatever it was, given the amount of crossed out and redone bits he could see.

Carefully shifting the tray to one hand he knocked on the door to announce his presence before sliding it open. Taking the fact that it wasn't locked as a good sign, he stepped inside. "Hey, Nita," he said. "I brought you something."

[blue_ice]

[ And he knows it too. He takes a deep breath. ]

I won't. But don't underestimate how many people care about you either. Use that support network.

[cannibalartist]

But to call it a laugh would be reaching, after all.

He allowed her some quiet to fiddle, to think and consider. Sometimes people needed a minute to consider.

Acting out of anger was a mistake, yes, but the bigger mistake was not taking the time to be certain you could ensure success, even if it was only partial. The worst thing you can do is get nothing out of a failure.

"For a short while - greeting newcomers is a bit like herding cats, however." He knows she isn't in a joking mood, but it wouldn't stop him from trying to keep the mood just a little more light.

[death_from_above]

"Well how was I supposed to know? And did you even try...?"

[wizard_redfive]

"Only if you had gone to them first," she points out. "They might catch some bad ideas before they happen, but they're not omniscient."

Otherwise Dairine would have gotten into significantly less trouble.

Nita's comments about losing wizardry makes Dairine purse her lips uncomfortably.

"Neets, just 'cause you don't have access to your wizardry doesn't mean you're not a wizard. You're just really really grounded." Like super grounded. Dairine waves one hand dramatically. "Like you said, if you had lost it completely, you wouldn't remember anything. But you still recall all our adventures, yeah? Haven't starting thinking they were all make-believe, have you?"

[unfavorableinstigation]

Nita looked up more easily than she had upon first arrival - there was still that look to her eyes, but she seemed more present now.

"You didn't have to," she responded, getting up anyway.

"But thanks, Lea. ... Wanted to see me?"