voidtreckerexpress | I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take.

Who: Nita and YOU. Preferably close CR, but anyone can stop by.
Where: Quiet Car, second floor, a room near the front of the carriage.
When: Middle half of Grasshopper; post-platform, pre-event.
What: A(n ex-) wizard retreats. Some may come to reprimand, some to console, some just to find out WTF happened.
Warnings: ... Discussion of what's basically psychic assault in this log, folks. Mind your headspace!

After the platform, Nita retreated into herself. That was the best way to describe it; she could not be 'booked' in one of these rooms the same way she could have been in the Medical Car, but she spent as much time as she could in just the one room, not speaking unless spoken to, not leaving except to go to the restroom or fetch another journal.

No matter when one arrived to check on her, she would be either resting - staring off into space more than actually sleeping - or writing.

Some of the words were crossed out, as if she had had a tough time finding the right ones, but the writing looked to be formal in nature. A report. And, most notably, it was in English, not the alien curves of the Speech.

If she had to live with her actions, Nita figured, the least she could do was explain them - and explain why they were wrong.

Mostly, though, what encompassed her mind was the emptiness of it all. She couldn't even be angry now.

Fitting.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

His face was carefully neutral even as she tried to brush it away. His power was not that impressive - not in the grand scheme of the train - but he wasn't going to allow it to inflate his ego, nor would he take her tone personally. He glanced down at the list she'd written as well. He didn't care to try and read it from here, but the list seemed relatively neat for being written in ink and... Was it frustration? Sadness? Anger?

His gaze returned to her as she spoke.

"I think you made a mistake." There was no judgement in his voice. He actually sounded quite gentle despite the directness of the statement. "I don't have a nuanced understanding of your powers so I can't say I quite understand the context of what happened, and there's only so much you can trust when hearing things second or third hand."

That was a very well covered bluff. He'd heard the entire commotion, the muttering of the others as they'd walked with her to the quiet cars, but he didn't quite have all of the information. He knew that she had most definitely messed up in a very big way, broken something, but it was better to pretend he knew none of it. Hear what happened straight from the person who experienced it, if she'd let him.

Nita exhaled air in what could be called a laugh; she double-blinked, slumping in her chair with another sigh.

"'Mistake,' huh? Might be playing it lightly."

She fiddled with her pen - one of those from the initial rucksack setup the train had given each of its passengers - as she thought it over.

"I knew what I was doing would have consequences, whether it worked or it didn't. You could say my 'mistake' was acting in anger in the first place."

There was a smile on her face, but it was a pained one.

"... Were you on the platform?"

But to call it a laugh would be reaching, after all.

He allowed her some quiet to fiddle, to think and consider. Sometimes people needed a minute to consider.

Acting out of anger was a mistake, yes, but the bigger mistake was not taking the time to be certain you could ensure success, even if it was only partial. The worst thing you can do is get nothing out of a failure.

"For a short while - greeting newcomers is a bit like herding cats, however." He knows she isn't in a joking mood, but it wouldn't stop him from trying to keep the mood just a little more light.

Uta's response earned him a quirk of the lips, albeit one quickly suppressed.

"There were fewer of them this time around, though, weren't there? ... Didn't exactly get to catch them. Did make it easier not to drag them in as collateral."

His own expression quirked as she asked if there were fewer this time.

"I fear I wouldn't know if it was more or less than usual. The last platform day I was a lost little lamb to be shepherded aboard." Not that he needed much shepherding. It occurred to him that she was absent last platform day as well and he couldn't stop the faint evanescent smile from passing across his face.

"You speak as if what happened had the chance to harm everyone here." Again: gentle, without judgement, patient.

Another comment, another snort from Nita. Uta was on a roll today, clearly.

"The train's hit me before, once. But that time, it was reacting in fear, to something else. This time it was anger."

Understandably, of course; she had assaulted it.

Oh, things were starting to come together a bit.

He wanted to question what would make a train scared, but that is a conversation for another day. This conversation was also confirming that it was the train that made decisions, not someone or thing else. Interesting~

"I would expect nothing less from something that perceives it's under attack." Animals were most dangerous when cornered. "Are you okay?" Clearly the answer was no, but he'd give her a chance to answer.

Nita's hands weren't shaking or anything, but the look she shot Uta after that was negatory-confirmation enough.

"I'll live, if that's what you mean. Emotionally..."

She left that one unanswered.

He gave a small nod as she left it unanswered. It had been a long time, but he understood. There was a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth but he made a concentrated effort not to let it take over his expression.

"Living is a good first step. It gives you a chance to recover."

"As long as you feel you're alive..."

Nita's voice tapered off, as she was not willing to lend much strength to that argument.

"Nevermind. Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?"

Depending on what it was, she might even oblige; as much as she felt she deserved to be alone right now, she could still answer questions.

That was something she could offer people.

I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take.

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