"There's nothing stuck in my head," he answers, a note of exasperation that continues; less pointed at anyone, and more for the point he's failing to explain. To get across.

"Look, I get I was going about things differently before: live life to the fullest, make the most of your time--whatever. But it's different. Everyone else can do what they want here. But before, I was putting myself first. And maybe it's not easy to keep doing that when your choices got people killed, and maybe-- maybe I deserve to feel like shit. I never even tried, Nita. You get it?"

His voice peaks at the end, becoming emotional, slightly erratic. His fist at the side tightening, his head turned away more.

"I'm an asshole."