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voidtreckerexpress2020-09-24 08:37 am
unfavorableinstigation) wrote in voidtreckerexpress2020-09-24 08:37 am
Entry tags:
This is the Sound of Settling
Who: Nita and YOU!
Where: All around! Please note preferred room in toplevel.
When: 12th through 15th Horseshoe
What: Chores, and some private catch-ups.
Warnings: ... Feels????
Nita's able to bounce back from the mission much more easily than last time - no huge magics, just the slow drain of wizardry and losing people alike.
There are some people she knows she needs to talk to, but she doesn't precisely need to hunt them down - after all, she's got rooms to clean. She'll get to them eventually.
She has time for more friendly chats, as well - or a helping hand or two!
Where: All around! Please note preferred room in toplevel.
When: 12th through 15th Horseshoe
What: Chores, and some private catch-ups.
Warnings: ... Feels????
Nita's able to bounce back from the mission much more easily than last time - no huge magics, just the slow drain of wizardry and losing people alike.
There are some people she knows she needs to talk to, but she doesn't precisely need to hunt them down - after all, she's got rooms to clean. She'll get to them eventually.
She has time for more friendly chats, as well - or a helping hand or two!
no subject
He speaks lighter at the end, aiming for reassuring. It's awkward, he knows, and he doesn't know how to make any of this better. Wishes that he could, but--he didn't want to change his mind. Who would he be if he did? And that was the thing, for the longest time: Not knowing who he was.
A coward, maybe.
no subject
"If it's enough to stick around in your head, believe me, it matters. No matter who's thinking it."
She can be reassured, AND worried, all at once! It's a talent!
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"Look, I get I was going about things differently before: live life to the fullest, make the most of your time--whatever. But it's different. Everyone else can do what they want here. But before, I was putting myself first. And maybe it's not easy to keep doing that when your choices got people killed, and maybe-- maybe I deserve to feel like shit. I never even tried, Nita. You get it?"
His voice peaks at the end, becoming emotional, slightly erratic. His fist at the side tightening, his head turned away more.
"I'm an asshole."
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"... And you're sure it's going to stay that way?"
It's not entirely inflected as a question, certainly it's quiet enough, though Tidus can easily read that into it.
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"...You can't change the past."
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Nita's been a part of her own past - but time travel's not on the table here, and Nita couldn't change what had happen; whatever else went on, time's arrow was always seen to run straight.
"But that's the beauty - and pain - of a present. Without that, where would the future be?"
Nita's not looking up at this point; she's looking at S'reee's bunk instead, contemplative expression on her face.
"What can it be?"
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There's a humorous note to it, hollow as it is.
"And whatever the future is, I'm not gonna know."
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Philosophy or no, that's where Tidus' response points her. Nita looks genuinely baffled.
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"I don't even know what this train plans to do with any of us, but I know I'm not planning for the future one way or another."
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"And that's not entirely under your control - or mine, and definitely not the train's."
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Nita shakes her head, hoping she's not confusing herself here, because she can't exactly help Tidus that way...
"Short of us getting stuck in our time loop, the things we do in the present always effect the future, never the past."
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This is getting way beyond his head for thinking straight.
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"But... I think we have more autonomy than the train does, now. It can't - or won't - talk to people, most of the time.
"But we can still talk to each other. Us, Inigo, Lightning, Della..."
She could name more of those she knew on the train, but keeping things short and to the point was probably the better idea here. "And S'reee."
And Ronan.
Not that Nita knows to add that name.
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"Look, Nita... this is my own mess. And this is the way I want to handle it. ... I'm sorry I was ever any other way."
That he made so many connections in the first place, put himself out there. But that was the reason he was selfish; thought about himself. Didn't think about his decisions and how they affected everyone else in the first place.
no subject
"You know where I am, though. I'll always be around to talk, or listen, or just learn from mistakes."
And you aren't one of them.
I'll always be around... for as long as it's my choice to make.
Unspoken thoughts, though perhaps they were more important than her words.
no subject
Not even a goodbye.
This... might be wrap?? Up to you.
She looks at him, carefully and as completely as one lone wizard can, and with no small amount of sympathy - then, as she moves to the door, knocks gently on one of the bunks.
For luck.