The book on Roland's lap is all but forgotten, just a weight to keep him grounded while his mind travels far, far away. Tidus's story is received easily, and with a deep sense gratitude. It's a trust that he recognizes without hesitation, and Roland can't help but feel the weight of it as he clings to every word Tidus says now, committing every detail to memory. It's Tidus before the void took him; it's Tidus before he realized the truth of his life. When I met her, it was the first time I knew about Spira.
When he stops to think about it, Roland missed out on something even more heartbreaking: that Tidus existed all this time not knowing what or who he actually is. Going about his day, playing blitzball with the Abes as if they were still with Spira...And then at some point, the truth becomes clear to him, and he is told - We were something different. A dream. A dream to keep Zanarkand alive. Ripping off his SCA that day, knowing he'd turn transparent, fading from reality; oh yes, Tidus knew.
How do you deal with that? Roland can't even begin to imagine it. It's an uncomfortable, wretched grief that makes his stomach churn even as he sits quietly by Tidus's side; it forces him to hide his gripped hands under the cover of his usual stance, arms folded across his body.
Tidus is dead. A dream forced to come back. A dream that fell in love with a real woman. Roland exhales audibly at the thought, a lump in his throat swallowed down before he speaks a few moments after Tidus trails off.
Cause of her...
"...Because of her, you lived." He finishes, simply. Hearing the unspoken, putting it into reality. He finally opens his eyes, and decides to take a chance, turning to the side to look at Tidus's profile for no other reason than to remember this too. His face, who he is, the man sat next to him on a magical train that has granted men like Tidus another chance to live, again and again. Despite the costs. And if Yuna was tasked with spirit guardians to end Sin -
- Roland inhales another shaky breath. It would have been Yuna's job to end him, too.
"Did she know?" He asks, carefully. Steadily. Roland looks away, back to the book on his lap. "Is that why...you told me you could have tried harder? Because you joined Yuna as a guardian, but it was her job to defeat Sin?"
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When he stops to think about it, Roland missed out on something even more heartbreaking: that Tidus existed all this time not knowing what or who he actually is. Going about his day, playing blitzball with the Abes as if they were still with Spira...And then at some point, the truth becomes clear to him, and he is told - We were something different. A dream. A dream to keep Zanarkand alive. Ripping off his SCA that day, knowing he'd turn transparent, fading from reality; oh yes, Tidus knew.
How do you deal with that? Roland can't even begin to imagine it. It's an uncomfortable, wretched grief that makes his stomach churn even as he sits quietly by Tidus's side; it forces him to hide his gripped hands under the cover of his usual stance, arms folded across his body.
Tidus is dead. A dream forced to come back. A dream that fell in love with a real woman. Roland exhales audibly at the thought, a lump in his throat swallowed down before he speaks a few moments after Tidus trails off.
Cause of her...
"...Because of her, you lived." He finishes, simply. Hearing the unspoken, putting it into reality. He finally opens his eyes, and decides to take a chance, turning to the side to look at Tidus's profile for no other reason than to remember this too. His face, who he is, the man sat next to him on a magical train that has granted men like Tidus another chance to live, again and again. Despite the costs. And if Yuna was tasked with spirit guardians to end Sin -
- Roland inhales another shaky breath. It would have been Yuna's job to end him, too.
"Did she know?" He asks, carefully. Steadily. Roland looks away, back to the book on his lap. "Is that why...you told me you could have tried harder? Because you joined Yuna as a guardian, but it was her job to defeat Sin?"