flatteries: (it's empty in the valley of your heart)
a man for flowers ✿ ( INIGO ) ([personal profile] flatteries) wrote in [community profile] voidtreckerexpress 2020-10-21 04:52 pm (UTC)

His mouth feels dry as he listens to Roland. For a second, in the empty air between when Inigo finished talking and when Roland begins, there's a weird sense of dread in his stomach. Maybe a bit like preemptive regret, the reaction that usually kicks in whenever he says something, regretting talking about it the moment after. After all, what if this just makes things harder on Roland? Even with the other having told him that it's alright to rely on others, that it doesn't immediately translate to weakness, it still feels like too heavy a burden to put on Roland's shoulders.

Especially since there's already so much on said shoulders.

But the other's reaction is exactly what Inigo expected. It's so much like Roland, isn't it? Being encouraging. Assuming the best out of him, even when it's not really true at all. But maybe - despite what he himself believes to be the truth - part of him wanted to hear this. Hoped to hear it.

"I.. I don't know."

He avoids saying I don't deserve it, despite thinking it. Maybe it's too hard to say that so plainly in the face of Roland's unwavering belief, or maybe it's the effect of having Jumblie around, who is currently very much trying hard to hug both Roland and Inigo at the same time with her tiny stumpy arms. It's an impossible mission, but she's determined!

It makes Inigo glance down at her rather than look at Roland as he continues.

"If I had been stronger, or braver, or more competent.. Maybe things wouldn't have gotten to that point to begin with. I'm a prince of Ylisse too, after all." And also literally only barely in his teenage years when all of it went down, not to mention it's not like his older heir-to-the-throne sister could do anything about it either, but barriers of logic never stop Inigo from being hard on himself. "If I had been better, maybe the world wouldn't have been destroyed. But I'm.. I'm not even half the ruler or warrior my father was."

He shakes his head, now finally looking back at the other man.

"I'm not half the man you are either, Roland. I'm sure that if it had been you, you would have managed it all somehow. But I am just.. not competent enough."

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