See, this is part of why Devero likes Koumyou despite only having known him for a very short time: even in the middle of this fear and misery, the other man still manages to make him laugh. Sure, it's a sputtery, disbelieving laugh, but it's still a laugh.
"Can we say that's it and leave it at that?" he asks hopefully.
But no, he knows they can't. He's opened too raw a wound to try and paper it over with avoidance and jokes about schlocky drama.
"Being around you isn't what's putting me in danger," he says, hugging himself a little tighter. "I'm not in danger. It's just--" This is so hard to talk about. It's been ingrained in him for so long that the nature of his relationship with Administrator Valdana needs to be kept secret. But he owes Koumyou an explanation-- a real one, not the cop-out about the sutra that he gave earlier.
"There's someone back home. And I have rules. If I break them, she'll discipline me." He laughs again, and has to dash the back of his hand across suddenly-stinging eyes. "I'm already in for it for telling you any of this at all."
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"Can we say that's it and leave it at that?" he asks hopefully.
But no, he knows they can't. He's opened too raw a wound to try and paper it over with avoidance and jokes about schlocky drama.
"Being around you isn't what's putting me in danger," he says, hugging himself a little tighter. "I'm not in danger. It's just--" This is so hard to talk about. It's been ingrained in him for so long that the nature of his relationship with Administrator Valdana needs to be kept secret. But he owes Koumyou an explanation-- a real one, not the cop-out about the sutra that he gave earlier.
"There's someone back home. And I have rules. If I break them, she'll discipline me." He laughs again, and has to dash the back of his hand across suddenly-stinging eyes. "I'm already in for it for telling you any of this at all."