It is novel, and that scares him a little. There's still a churning dread, deep down inside of him, of what's going to happen when Madame finds out about this. If it was just a matter of his own desires, he'd probably deny himself, and do what he thinks Valdana would want. Avoid Koumyou, avoid temptation, avoid this vivacious, magnetic, fascinating reminder that there could be more in his life than his work and his Madame.

But he's not the only one who'd be affected by that decision, would he? He remembers Sanzo's soft words and the way his thin hands had felt on his own. He has been so lonely, lately, and maybe that's what lets him recognize loneliness in the other man.

"What I want," he says slowly, as if he's tasting the words as he says them, "is to get back into that pool with you, and relax."