"She's not!" Devero snaps. He actually lurches up off the ledge with hands fisted, sloshing down to the far end of the pool in his agitation. "I was nothing when she found me! Just some pathetic non-con rotting in a transients' dorm, a hitek with a full Implant and no exo to Interface with!" This is what she told him, over and over until he learned to say it to himself so she no longer had to.
He stops at the far end of the pool and bows his head, burying both hands in his hair and pulling. "She did give me a purpose," he says without turning, but for the first time it sounds like he might be trying to convince himself rather than Koumyou. "She did. An incredible purpose. And we're doing amazing work at Techstead."
He does, legitimately, love the work he does with Chihyoon and Morraine. Getting to help design and test absolutely top-of-the-line technology is an incredible opportunity; getting to bang new hiteks into shape to pilot the improved units and further refine the design is a real pleasure.
--Or... it had been a pleasure. He's been so miserable lately, even his work grating on an uncharacteristically short temper. He just hadn't realized it until-- until he'd met Koumyou Sanzo, and remembered what it felt like to be joyous.
He turns around finally, and sits heavily on the ledge, water rippling away from him. "We're doing incredible work, and I feel terrible all the time," he says, the words as heavy as he feels. It's the first time he's ever allowed himself to say it out loud.
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He stops at the far end of the pool and bows his head, burying both hands in his hair and pulling. "She did give me a purpose," he says without turning, but for the first time it sounds like he might be trying to convince himself rather than Koumyou. "She did. An incredible purpose. And we're doing amazing work at Techstead."
He does, legitimately, love the work he does with Chihyoon and Morraine. Getting to help design and test absolutely top-of-the-line technology is an incredible opportunity; getting to bang new hiteks into shape to pilot the improved units and further refine the design is a real pleasure.
--Or... it had been a pleasure. He's been so miserable lately, even his work grating on an uncharacteristically short temper. He just hadn't realized it until-- until he'd met Koumyou Sanzo, and remembered what it felt like to be joyous.
He turns around finally, and sits heavily on the ledge, water rippling away from him. "We're doing incredible work, and I feel terrible all the time," he says, the words as heavy as he feels. It's the first time he's ever allowed himself to say it out loud.