blitzcheer: (don't trust my dad)
Tidus ([personal profile] blitzcheer) wrote in [community profile] voidtreckerexpress 2020-12-26 09:27 pm (UTC)

Chin tilted, Tidus has no choice but to look up. Unwilling to fight otherwise, and the thought of turning away not immediately coming to mind. Inigo's thumbs against his skin, fingers pushed into his hair.

And words that weigh heavy on his heart.

Tidus sits with his arms still around Inigo, hands near the small of his back. Listening, eyes falling aside eventually, but not with any sharp pull or attempt to mask his emotions. But it's a lot, too, to look into those eyes and that honesty. A shyness not quite flushed, not quite embarrassed. He gets it though, what Inigo is saying.

'It's.. dumb and childish. I know.'

"It's not," he protests, mild of one as it is. "I don't think so. We don't want our friends to hurt... I don't want you getting hurt thinking you can't help me," he admits, spoken softer than the rest. His words falling into a silence, just for a moment. Eyes on the fabric of Inigo's shirt, taking some comfort in an otherwise peculiar position.

"I've been thinking a lot about it; what I did back in Spira, and what's going on now. It's... - as hard as it's been telling myself, it isn't the same. It's not. Because no one here has to disappear. You don't have to, so long as we keep the train safe."

As long as nothing risks it. And so far, nothing has. None of their attacks, none of their attempts to get into the engine room. There's nothing to be afraid of, outside or in.

"And I'm not the only one now. I kept it a secret before - I didn't tell anyone what would happen. Yuna, Wakka, Lulu... Auron knew, but he's that kind of guy. He always knew something was gonna happen. I couldn't keep a thing from him."

Tidus's head dips, the slither of mirth barely breathed into his latter words. The memory of Auron, that grumpy, old guy. Everything that was so long ago. For a life of his long gone.

"But..." But- the words he's trying to say, the point he wants to make. "I'm not alone. It's not just my choice. I don't... I don't have to hide it, what'll happen."

And that means a lot, because it means-

"You don't have to disappear." He says it out loud, just to hear himself. Swallowing, voice cleared just to make it so. A hand coming around from Inigo's back to hold one of his arms. Tidus's gaze going back up; brow drawn, lips slightly trembling, but something on a smile trying to be.

"I want you to go back, that's all I want." Firmer, his hold tightening, but without digging in. "Anyone, everyone who wants to leave. I want you to make it home, wherever you want to be. If we can make that happen... if we still try for it..."

He looks back at the arm that he's holding. Silence for a moment by the lump in his throat, hoping that the words he's spoken already say everything he wants to say.

Then I'll keep fighting. Then I have a reason to keep going.

Post a comment in response:

This account has disabled anonymous posting.
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
More info about formatting