voidtreckerexpress | (open) my heart is about to jump out of my chest

Entry tags:

(open) my heart is about to jump out of my chest

Who: Inigo and you!
Where: The upper level of the music carriage
When: Imagination 19/20
What: Inigo thinks he's having a private dance practice moment. Thinks.
Warnings: Probably nothing, will edit if necessary.

---

(open to all)

If you happen to pass through the music carriage today - as people usually do when moving through the train - you may notice something. Either you can hear music coming from the upper floor, drawing your attention, or if you have a good heart, you may instead see an odd little creature sitting on the stairs, swaying from side to side along with the music.

If you decide to go upstairs, the creature certainly won't do anything to stop you, if you can see it. In fact, it seems to happily bounce right after you, following you up.

And upstairs the carriage is mostly empty - except for Inigo standing on the stage, dancing. The music is even more audible now. Inigo is dancing along to the beat, eyes closed, yet he doesn't seem to even come close to falling off the stage, as if he knows exactly where to place his feet. Which he probably does, considering his movements seem to be very fluid, practiced. It's a pretty captivating dance, honestly, and it's easy to just keep watching it without realising the time is passing until the song stops.

It's then that Inigo stops moving too, finally opening his eyes..

.. and therefore finally noticing that he's not alone. He lets out an absolute shriek, staring you straight in the eyes, before his foot slips and he finally ends up falling on the stage.

Temporary elegance gone. There is only a miserable little pile of Inigo on the stage now.

(closed to taiki)

Okay, okay. Maybe he just needs to get used to dancing in front of people. He danced in front of Tidus before, and that was only.. only mildly mortifying, so maybe that's what he should do. Make sure to dance in front of people he feels a bit more comfortable with.

Hence why Inigo gently dragged (read: made puppy eyes at until he gave in) Taiki along here. He said it was fine if Taiki would just sit there and paint or something, do whatever he feels like doing! It's just that Inigo has to get used to having an audience, okay! And Taiki is just about the most gentle person Inigo can think of for this sort of thing.

But thinking of that is one thing. The actual execution of this plan is another thing.

Which is why they're both here now, but rather than dancing, Inigo just sitting there on the stage, slumped over, groaning. His face is buried in his hands.

"Why is it so hard to get started when someone else is looking.." Is he whining to Taiki? To himself? Who knows.

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"That's why I stopped!" It's earnest, like the two of them meeting somewhere in whatever this can be considered.

"I know you didn't want to fight, so that's why - I didn't know how to turn it around and be any better right then. And that wasn't on you to do, we just needed some time." He pauses, then admits with his head nodding. "I should've said sorry the next morning. But I... I got the wrong idea too. I thought you didn't want to talk about it or it'd be better... I know you were doing your best, you know? It meant a lot to me. It did."

He lifts his head to look at Inigo, though he isn't sure what to offer in the look. It was a mess, and here they were, trying finally to clear up the pieces. A mess that one of them has no idea how to assess the damage done, and another who's never been good at explaining things in his life.

"Friendship is... people are a mess," he decides. "We make each other feel bad when we don't mean to, and we get all sorts of crazy ideas what the other means. You never know what argument you're going to get into with one person, or- you never argue with another 'cause she's always got a cool head and knows the right thing to say so all you can do is grumble 'til you forget the whole thing!"

He's waving his hands some as he speaks, since of course he does.

"What I'm trying to say is... it's okay if you don't have the answers. That doesn't make you a bad friend. I shouldn't have tried to start an argument in the first place." Or not try to make an argument where there wasn't one.

"But- don't think you make things worse for me, or you're not the right kind of friend. Even if you're struggling, or you're not used to this- that's never true. Alright?" Tidus looks at Inigo more sure now. "That's the one thing I'm asking. You wouldn't agree if I said that to you, would you? It's just not true, Inigo."

".. alright," he slowly and quietly agrees. Looking the other in the eyes as he says it. It is hard for Inigo to fully process that, to put it somewhere in his brain where he won't start doubting it again at some point, but that's just the nature of the beast when your sense of self worth is as low as his. But he's determined to try, at least. Determined to try and remember this moment. Tidus is obviously putting effort into saying all this for him, so there's no way Inigo would just want to discard it.

It definitely does shine a light on everything back home though. It's not as his friends there aren't his friends, but.. they never had time for this, did they? Just having dumb fights over nothing. Having these sorts of talks. It's why all of this is so new to him. A friendship this tight, focused on just friendship, rather than the priority needing to be with foremost surviving each day.

"Sorry that I keep thinking these kinds of things. It's just.." His voice trails off to look for the right word to describe it, but ending up with nothing other than, ".. hard. But I'll try, Tidus. I know you wouldn't say all that unless you mean it."

Inigo shakes his head.

"But then you also have to stop saying you're being a pain, and stuff like that. It's not like you tried to hurt me on purpose last time. You have nothing to say you're sorry for, you're just hurting. And you're trying to deal with that. I'm not mad at you-- I've never been mad at you." Well, discounting all their dumb petty small dramatic arguments, but it's hard to have called himself mad over that as much as just.. momentarily whiny. "I don't think I ever fully could be, you know?"

"Well... we can say I was being a tiny pain. Right?"

He means it as a joke, frames it in no other way as Tidus meets Inigo's eye, gives him an expressing meaning to appeal, his smile small but important for selling the effect.

You're totally sold on this compromise, right Inigo??? Inigo?

It feels hard to remain too serious in the face of that expression - in that tone of voice, in what Tidus says.

But better, it feels even harder to remain miserable in the face of it. Isn't that exactly what Inigo said? Tidus has a way of cheering him up so easily, snapping him out of a dumb mood. It's happening right now, as they're sitting here, Inigo feeling better the longer he stares at that face.

And for a moment that's all he does. Just staring. But then he slowly starts to smile as well, and a moment later he leans in to press a quick kiss onto Tidus's cheek.

It's very quick - a moment later he's already pulled away, sitting right back onto his butt on the bunk. That same smile still on his face.

"Well, now I've been a tiny pain. So I guess that means we're even." H-HAHA, SEE. IT WAS JUST A JOKE, BRO. Just going along with what you said a moment ago, bro!! Continuing the joke!!

Tidus watches Inigo with that dumb face, smiling and hopeful and goading, all in one. Small 'hmms?' if he has to wait too long, just to give him any extra leverage to make sure those scales of Inigo's mood don't tip into insecurity.

And the smile that lifts itself onto Inigo's face is promising, brightening Tidus's with it. The guy waiting on any words, a laugh, a chide. Anything--

--but a kiss.

Or, a peck. Something like that. Still a kiss, right? Even if it takes Tidus a second to realise, blinking, registering the small touch. And Inigo's already moving back, cheerful and silly.

How is Tidus supposed to take it for anything other than the goof it is? The embarrassment he might've been about to feel dying easily down, a joking huff let out as Tidus leans back in his own seat.

"Weird way of being a pain!" His shoulders lift, something of a shrug. "If that's all it takes to get into your good books-"

But he doesn't finish it. Doesn't need to, right? Instead, Tidus gives Inigo a light punch to the arm.

"Cool. We're even! That means I can get you to read the books now, right? They weren't what I wanted, but there's a swimming magazine there that's alright. The blue one."

Inigo moved them, so Tidus nods over to where they've been placed now. See, see?

His heart is still beating much more rapidly than it has any right to, but at the same time Inigo can't help but feel relief at how he pulled that off. Maybe he was even the tiniest bith smooth for the first time in his life, huh. At least Tidus doesn't seem to think of it as anything more than a joke. Good job, Inigo. Mental pat on the back.

So instead he turns his attention towards the magazines when his attention is directed to them.

Unfortunately for Tidus, though, the swimming one isn't the one that manages to grab Inigo's eye first. Not even with his friend pointing it out. Instead he's quick to grab The Art Of Calm, holding it up so he's close to nearly waving it straight up in Tidus's face.

"What's this one then? Did you ask for it?"

Were you trying to find some ways to calm down, bro?

"What, and a book on trains too?" The subtlety continues to fly over Tidus's head, a small huff let go of. "I just ordered whatever at random, or I'd be waiting forever to get them! Those're what the train gave me. They never have any life magazines..."

Look, maybe Tidus just wants to read about blitzball and upcoming events and the new hot tunes coming out. Is that so wrong? He'll grumble about them as he wants.

But also, lifting his hands up, held as if there's something in them as they hover by his face.

"Try smelling it. --Go on," he figures he'll have to add, 'cause who is going to take that suggestion over a magazine? But Tidus might be in a good place to nudge it in the direction of Inigo's nose. "It's perfume-y. Right? You smell it?"

"Why are you--"

Inigo doesn't even have the time to fully question why Tidus is shoving a magazine at his nose. It's just already happening. This is now the reality he lives in.

Inigo may be trying to move back a little as it's happening, but considering they're both sitting on a bunk, there's very little space to do so. So he'll definitely get a whiff of it. It's inescapable.

"Why were you smelling the magazine! Was it that boring?" Who cares about the scent, clearly this question is much more important!

(At least they've come down from a very feelsy conversation to a much more normal one by their dumb standards.)

Edited 2021-01-01 15:03 (UTC)

Bro?!!?

"Is your nose broken? I'm gonna notice a smell! It got on my fingers!"

Rather, he rubbed his nose with the side of his finger and then caught a whiff of something odd, which led him finally to the sniffing of books. None of which needs to be explained in the slightest to this dweeb!!! Just be glad Tidus isn't shoving his hand in your face now, bro.

Instead, he's grabbing for the diving magazine. Yoink!

"You see what you think. I didn't care 'bout it - it's just about breathing techniques and how to be all relaxing." Ugh. Boriiiing. "This one's cool. It's about a whole people and what their world's like! They wear shells that look like some of the one's I've seen. Even squiggly ones!"

Also, the book has a lot of cool spreads with big nice pictures. Just what a guy like Tidus likes!

Well, at least Tidus got Inigo smelling the magazine now. Cautiously, though, like he's unsure how to feel about this perfumed magazine..

Modern times sure are weird.

And while he's not too sure how to feel about the idea of breathing techniques, Inigo figures he can look through this one. If it really does tell you how you're able to stay calm, he figures he can use all the help he can get.

He leans sideways, until he's resting against Tidus's side and shoulder, glancing over at the magazine he's holding.

"Shells? How do they wear them?"

At least it doesn't sound like a dumb question this time, as much as it sounds like genuine curiosity. Inigo, not being from a seaside kind of halidom at all, hasn't really seen anything like it before. Though he's trying to think back on that island and that village there they helped out - did those people wear shells at all?

"Here-- see?"

Tidus doesn't nudge Inigo as he comes to rest on him. Instead he's tipping his head to give room, but also focusing on how he holds the book to make the pages visible. The klakti are a humanoid species, if barely; the scandalous features to be found on a human not noticeably present, but it's hard to spy with some of the pictures taken. On the first page, the shells adorn each individual like simple clothing; some like cowrie, others clams, all of different shapes and sizes. Most of the scenery is of beaches and the ocean, caverns drenched in a green-blue hue all around, with light littered by some unknown source.

Tidus flips slowly through the magazine. Some people wear the sea shells as a dress that reaches to their webbed feet, but with obvious splits if one looks carefully. Swimming is their life.

"Different, huh? I wouldn't wear it," hah, "but it's pretty cool, learning about them like this. And they can go deeper than pretty much any human! They have some sports game too, underwater, and all kinds of kid games too." Where was that page? Tidus flips through trying to find it, but fails, landing on a page showing what some of the deeper seas look like.

"There was one with a net and catching balls with them, and another something to do with fish...? Anyway," a small laugh and grin, "nothing I heard about as a kid."

Even as Inigo lazily rests against Tidus's side like that, he's plenty attentive when the other shows off the magazine, talks about it so enthusiastically. It's not the kind of topic Inigo would really be all that interested in by himself, but it's made fun by the way Tidus talks about it. To the point that Inigo kind of feels like he could listen to this for hours and not get terribly bored.

"I guess even just places that have a lot to do with swimming are still really different from each other, huh?" He finally remarks, having only given agreeing hums before, while Tidus was still speaking. It makes Inigo momentarily think of Irivar, and of that kingdom that vanished into the shadows. Places that, in ways, reminded him of Ylisse too, despite still being very different in their own ways.

Inigo momentarily thinks about asking Tidus about the games he did play as a kid, but-- kind of remembering some of the stuff about his childhood, Inigo isn't too sure if he should steer into that topic when they've already just had a whole emotional talk. Instead his tone takes on a bit of a teasing edge.

"I'm glad you're just a regular human swimmer though. Those feet are kind of freaky."

"How d'you know my feet aren't like that?"

You checking out my feet?

Tidus lets the question hold, eyes shifted onto Inigo and wondering if he'll look down. And if he does, but even if he doesn't, Tidus shifts his toes to be visible and give them a wiggle, letting out a "Naahhh". Heheh.

With that little fun aside, Tidus goes on. "It's nothing like Spira. I mean, nowhere looks like it, 'cept some of the pics from the beaches looking out on the sea." Which given the magazine was more about the people, there weren't too many large shots of. "But it's the closest in a while. I guess it's all the ocean... it's weird being away from it this long."

Even all his travelling through Spira never took them far from the sea for long, the highest points of Mt. Gagazet bringing them down to where waves lapped against the ruined remains of Zanarkand.

"Gyueran, that first mission we had together. That was like Spira."

Don't tell anyone.

But Inigo is definitely leaning to look at Tidus's feet. Even though he knows they're not like that. Because Inigo has seen them before, just by often being around the other. And yet he somehow can't resist looking, like he's worried that maybe they are weird and webbed and he just somehow imagined they were regular human feet!

So yes, Tidus can have his laugh about it. And Inigo won't even fully grumble about having tripped straight into this trap pit. Instead he just blushes a bit, before letting even more of his weight lean against the other's side, like Tidus's punishment is just more physical contact. The horror.

"With a bit less aggressive sealife, I'd hope." Inigo reaches out to turn the page of the magazine Tidus is holding, looking at the next picture spread.

"Too bad we didn't know each other back then the way we do now." Or.. well. They did know each other, but things were still so different back then. He's sure Tidus would understand. "We could've hung out more at a place like that."

Guess Tidus is just going to have to be tortured by the company of Inigo. Speaking of.

"Hmm... but I like it. What we did have." He's looking up, in that way one does when recalling a memory. And he recalls that time back then on that wide beach. The fighting, day and night.

"Well, maybe I'd change getting knocked over by a squid," he remarks wryly, "but apart from that and all the fighting - you were one of the first people I knew. And we did hang out!" Tidus looks at Inigo from the corner of his eye, mouth widening into a grin. "I told you to treat yourself to some chocolate! And wasn't that where you complained about chocobos?"

Or did that come later?

"Haven't I always complained about chocobos?" Look, Inigo knows himself! He knows his brand! It's complaining about those weird oversized chickens, of course!

But even though he says that part fairly easily, he too is thinking back on that day now. It feels so long ago, even though it's really only been a few months. He almost feels like a different person - though he supposes maybe that's the point where it started changing in the first place. The very beginning of it.

Hence why he's quiet for a moments, before asking in a tone that's much less joking and so much more genuine that it's almost vulnerable: ".. You really liked it?"

"Sure did!" There isn't a slip of doubt, Tidus's mind recalling as he watched the waves lapping at the shore... "We spent all that time fighting day and night, I was worrying about Yuna... I was feeling pretty good after that first mission. Sitting around, chilling out - I liked it. You came over and talked to me."

It wasn't some amazing ordeal, but it was simple, nice enough for Tidus to recall it fondly. Had any of the other missions had the same relaxing moment? Terra was more exhausting, Irivar was its own wreck, and Nion was numbing. Was that because of the missions? Or all because of Tidus becoming more worn by being a captive?

He flips the magazine over to a new page, but not before playing with the edge in signal that Inigo's ready for it.

"I liked that mission. It was tough, but... I had good company. Half the people though... most of the people I worked with are gone."

His voice dips, but not his face. It's sobering, but it's a fact - that people will come and go - that Tidus has always been able to accept. As hard as it can hit people; as hard as it's hit him too.

"Hope they're doing okay."

That's all he can ask for.

Inigo lets out a small 'hmm' sound, to show he's still listening, even as he's staring at the pages, reading the blurbs that come with all the photos. Really, he's hearing everything Tidus is saying, though there are edges to this conversation right now that he doesn't want to burn himself on. Like the thought of just how many people are gone now. Inigo is well aware just how hard it hits him, that something about him makes it harder for him than for most, and so he doesn't want to think about it too hard. Doesn't want to fall into that misery.

Though that doesn't mean he isn't glad that Tidus can talk about it. It's probably healthier that way, rather than cropping it all up the way Inigo does.

"We're still here though." It's still a little dangerous, dangling much too close to that edge from where Inigo knows his feelings will spin out of control, but it feels like he's going to land on the right side of it this way. "I'm glad for that."

His hand moves down, playing with the corner of the page of the magazine.

"Well, not glad that we're still stuck, but.. you know. I'm just glad neither of us has involuntarily abandoned the other."

Tidus could probably deal with it better than Inigo, he thinks. But he still can't imagine that it'd be fun for the other to watch him walk off the platform either. Having to hope that he'll be okay somewhere out there.

"Can't get rid of me that easy."

Tidus nudges into Inigo, the two too close for it to be anymore than a muffled pressed of his elbow. But he can tip his head back with a comfortable smile, seeing Inigo out of the corner of his vision, hope the tone does well enough to assure the other guy. He can figure it might not be fun for a guy like Inigo to talk about people gone... not that it'd be exactly fun for Tidus either, but.

But he'll keep what he wants to ask down his throat. Take the steps to move away from anything too difficult.

"Wanna bet what the next mission'll be? We haven't had a space station yet - not since I've been here! That's four missions!"

This is still doable. Sure, the thought of Tidus leaving like that is absolutely awful, but it's just a hypothetical. Just a thought. And while he's this close to the other, pressed against him, it's a lot easier to pull himself away from the abyss of dark thoughts it threatens to cast him into. Physical contact always helps with that sort of thing.

It may explain why Inigo's head moves against Tidus's shoulder affectionately though - like he's trying to recenter himself here for a moment, until the movements still when that question is asked.

"I hope it's not space again. That was the last mission we had before you showed up." Well, not counting the awful one with the shadows, but that one was only a few hours long. It feels weird counting it as a proper mission rather than a random disaster they were thrown into. "And it's awful. I don't like space. Everything is just so dark and cold and empty."

This squished arm of his is getting tougher to move with Inigo taking it all for himself to lean on, shoulder too. But Tidus will try to manage - it's been a tough conversation, and he knows what Inigo likes. A stiff arm is fine, if it'll keep the other guy happy.

Plus, he's now distracted them both for a moment from the magazine.

"I don't really want to go into space for the view-" since yeah, Tidus can agree there, from the movies he's seen? Boriiing looking! "-but what about riding a spaceship?! Didn't you guys get to do that before! Me and Kitty have a promise, you know! It's the Kitty and Tidus Team Up Time the first spaceship mission we get!"

Okay, so maybe Tidus isn't going to be still as he'd earlier decided to be; his pillow arm not moving, but that other one surely is. Look at this fist!!

"You want to force me to be there in the cold, lonely vacuum of space just so you can have a date with Kitty? So cruel."

Inigo knows very well that's not a date. He knows what Tidus is like, what Kitty is like. That's exactly the sort of thing they'd do together, just for fun. But Inigo has to distract himself with a joke, before he thinks too much about how during that mission it was him and Yuki sharing a ship the whole time.

He reaches out to turn the page of the magazine.

"I wish we could go to a world that's a little more like the one Roland is from. Not Evermore, I mean-- the one he's originally from. I have no idea how to even imagine what it's like." Maybe like that frozen over place that had houses with fridges?

Wow, Inigo, Tidus isn't going to let that go uncontested, nudging him again. "Hey. She's like a little sister!"

Though, he can't say he's ever been brotherly-like, especially not around her and how many times she's seen him be down and depressed. But she definitely has that kind of face in Tidus's mind. It's what he thinks about before Inigo remarks on Roland's home world. What it must be like.

"I think I got him a book...?" Tidus guesses. Which was it though? Evermore or Aremica; and he starts to think that it might be Evermore, before-

"Oh- why don't you ask him to pick a movie? That looks like somewhere he's from. That'd be fun - for the both of you."

A movie. What movie isn't fun! Especially if you aren't getting popcorn dumped over you.

Under any other circumstances, Inigo may have made some sort of joke about how the solution to everything always comes down to movie watching with Tidus. If he were any less modern-society-challenged, he may even have joked about Tidus probably having shares in some sort of cinema business.

But Inigo recognizes the intention behind the suggestion for what it is, and decides to not make fun of it for that reason.

"Maybe." He sounds like he's seriously considering it, at least, even as his gaze drops back to what's on Tidus's lap.

"Or maybe they have magazines about Aremica. With photos like these." Because a book about it would just be way too boring, please. Even if Inigo was genuinely interested, he'd never manage to make his way through that. "Maybe there'd even be some stiff press photos of mister president in there."

"You gonna order some?" Tidus eyes Inigo with the curve of his lips, a curious but amused curl. He was going for the less expensive option here, but if Inigo wants to bring points into it...

"Who knows? He might have a book about him if you searched one. A biography - those have pictures. Maybe even some from when he was a kid. That's how they do it where I'm from." And why wouldn't a biography in Roland's world have a few photos to include? Unless it's as dry as the guy himself.

"Try searching for magazines like... Aremica Weekly. Aremica Monthly."

What else was there? Tidus doubted they had anything called The Blitz on sale...

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