voidtreckerexpress | But in and outside

Ignis nodded. "I'm well thank you for asking."

He sighed looking at his own coffee cup at Renee's insistence of the team being his children. He tried to smile about it the comment but it didn't come out. Families were for other people. He had Noct, then Prompto and Gladio were like brothers. King Regis had been a father figure and other than that his whole world revolved around the future king.

Green eyes looked back up at Renee and he nodded slowly. "You're not going to give up on calling them that are you?"

Edited 2019-09-29 05:16 (UTC)

"Mmmm." She nodded a moment, then glanced back at Ignis, narrowing her own hazel eyes. "Should I?" Oh, if only Renee could read thoughts, she'd probably laugh her fool head off at how his thoughts mirrored her own.

Not that her world revolved around anyone. Not even herself.

"Just 'cuz you'd rather hold your hands over your eyes and tell yourself they're not, I was paying attention out there."

The advisor sighed and shook his head. "They're others' children." This was a feeble attempt and he knew it but he couldn't figure out why Renee was being so hard headed about this.

The eyes didn't quite roll, but Ignis shook his head again. Really though what was the point she was trying to make here? She was poking at a sore spot even if she didn't realize it.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

A family wasn't in his cards, he'd never planned for it. Being in love with a future king and wanting to be the general of his armies didn't leave room for a family. And now Noctis would sacrifice himself to save the world, and if that happened, there would be no Lucian king.

There would be no armies to command, and there would be a big hole where Noct used to be. That still didn't leave any room for a family unless Ignis adopted. And he couldn't see himself with anyone back home to even do something like that.

"Oh yeah, and I don't see any parental figures here for any of them. Except Pete, and let's be real here. Tony's got his hands full with that one." Not to mention the girl he called Buttercup, who'd seemed like something of a mysterious handful when Renee had met her.

His next comment had her scoffing. "You damn well do, Ignis, you just don't wanna face it. Which is fair, I guess, but you're lying to yourself." Renee shrugged at that. If that was how he wanted things to be...it explained a bit. "But really, if you wanna ask me--not that I think you care enough to do so--those kids on your team, and even ones not on your team? They could do a damn sight worse than look up to you as a father figure."

Ignis had met Peter by this point but didn't comment because Renee could be right after the brief interaction they'd had. "That doesn't mean they would want someone stepping in as their parent." It was still a new concept to him of even thinking on being a father. It wasn't a role he'd ever really considered although to be fair he was already a parent at times to Noct and Prompto with Gladio sort of as a co-parent.

The dirty blonde head went down and he picked up his coffee cup to take a sip. And now that Renee was on him about this, he reflected on how he lost the others he was connected to back home. He was also slated to lose the biggest emotional attachment he had which was Noctis.

Something nagged at Ignis as he heard the insistence in her tone and he looked up, locking their gazes. "Why would you choose me and believe I am more qualified than other adults on this train? And so yes I am asking your opinion because it does matter."

Edited 2019-09-29 22:55 (UTC)

"Yeah, maybe not. I mean, I wouldn't, but you don't have to be all 'oh I'm your dad now' unless they act like they want it. But encouraging words? Jeez, Madoka could use that at the very least. You're pretty subtle, you don't have to be all obvious. I mean--" No. No, Renee wasn't going to continue that train of thought.

She narrowed her eyes at Ignis. "I don't know the Thunderstorms. Lightning's...more cut out to be a big sister. Tony's as big a kid as every other under-20 year old on this train, if he can get away with it. Sure, he's smart and charismatic, but half the time? He acts my age. Eva's involved with her Pokemon, but that's as it should be. Ash is a good person, and I know she cares a lot, but...she's also damaged."

Like calls to like, after all, right? Probably why Renee kept hanging out with the Viis. Broken in the same way, they were not, but they still recognized it.

"I spoke to Madoka before we left the train. She's quite lovely and polite." Ignis had definitely tried to encourage her but had a feeling that he left her more confused. She had insisted on referring to him as 'Mister Ignis' and he smiled at the memory. That last part that Renee said though caught his attention. "What do you mean?"

Ignis smiled fondly as she described Tony perfectly but he didn't comment. Tony was an older version of what Noctis would be like in his eyes in some ways. Obviously the two men were different but it wasn't hard for Ignis to see their similarities. Even if Noct made it through to be king, there was a definite child still inside. That child would more than likely skip important meetings, take days off unannounced to go fishing and maybe even hide in the Citadel from certain people. All of which would leave Ignis holding the bag and having to explain and smooth over ruffled feathers. It wasn't hard to see the similar traits after Tony had abandoning the dirty kitchen to go play video games. Noctis would do the exact same thing.

Sighing, he shook his head. "I don't believe anyone here is perfect Renee."

"She's a good kid. She was so worried before we left, I just tried to reassure her." Then again, that reminded Renee that she needed to talk to Ninja Man about self-defense classes. Edge was weird but seemed mostly harmless, so he probably would be a good teacher...

"I know you're more diplomatic than to just be all 'I'm gonna be your dad now'!" A bit of a snap, there, but she was really more annoyed at herself. But then she snorted. "Yeah, well, some of us are more perfect than others, so." She shrugged.

Ignis couldn't help but shake his head. "I did as well. However I do wonder if there's some way we can leave the children on board. They don't belong in battles, even if they can fight." Children were always a part of war and Ignis knew that. But these were children that he could protect and if that meant he could somehow leave them on the train, he'd do it.

There were nights here on the train that he recalled looking upon a fallen Insomnia. He had wondered just how many lives and especially children's lives had been lost that fateful night. Now though his green eyes looked over at Renee when she snapped and he sighed. Something was definitely wrong. Usually she had such a lovely smile, a pleasant laugh and an awkward adorable sort of manner. Those things seemed to be absent today.

Ignis shook his head at her perfect comment and had been about to ask her what was wrong, but he wasn't going to pry. So instead, he thought to change the topic. "Regarding the children for a moment..Romeo mentioned a holiday called christmas. Do they celebrate that in your world?" After he asked that, he took another sip of coffee.

"If it were up to us? I'd be all in. Except I don't think it is." Especially since during the last mission, it sure as hell had seemed like it was everyone on deck, like it or not. Renee really, really didn't like it.

His question about holidays had a mental record skip for a moment, definitely, but she sighed deeply. "My Earth did, yeah. But for me? Christmas was a holiday for other people." Damn it, she didn't want to tell Ignis any of this, now, either.

"Normally there's a lot of gift giving going around, friends and family and all that. Except my dad was sick." In more ways than one, but she was damned if she wouldn't withhold some of that. "He drank alcohol too much. And he'd do a lot of things to only be able to drink. So if my brothers and I got anything fancy from charity groups or whatever--because he spent his money on booze--he'd go take our gifts and sell them too, so he could drink. But it's not like we were the only ones who had that problem."

Renee shrugged at that.

He sighed, pretty much figuring that was his answer. Ignis still tried to come up with a solution and would continue to do so as long as he was here.

"Really.." And that was about all that he got out before Renee explained what happened. He nodded along to the gift giving and family. But then she too launched into an unhappy tale about how her yearly christmas was spent. "Charity..your.." And then he cut himself off. It wasn't his place to tell Renee what sort of life her father was obligated to give her. "Sorry.." This apology was accompanied by a shake of the head.

So to change the topic onto something he could control, Ignis sighed and set his coffee cup down. "I've heard a story about a man named Santa Claus. I suppose you've heard of him?"

"Sorry for what?" By the look on her face, Renee didn't get it either.

"Yeah, I have. There are a lot of things that can be said, but I got told he wasn't real when I was little. But hear me out a second, because I'm not sure that's exactly right? Sure, the story goes that he's a man, or he used to be a saint--someone who can work magic, to be really, really basic in my explanation."

She took a sip of her coffee, made a face, and then doctored it to her liking--she'd forgotten she hadn't. "So anyway, he used to do good deeds when he was only a man called Saint Nicholas. That's the original name, it got derived to Santa Claus. But he'd serve the poor and their children and give them food and stuff like that. So basically he was like...a spirit of goodness and charity. Even if he doesn't actually exist? I think that spirit still dwells within some people. Otherwise, my brothers and I never would've gotten anything, and we did. Even if my dad was an asshole and took it most of the time."

At that, she shrugged. "He couldn't take all of it, after all. Can't sell food back, unless you find someone equally desperate with money. But that's why I liked Halloween better. He never stole our candy."

"Nothing." Ignis replied with a shake of his head.

As Renee went on about Santa Claus, he took out a notebook and started making notes. Santa might be real or magical, based on a saint. Saint. That was the second time he'd heard that term and it had been described as an angel.

Nodding after taking a hurried sip of coffee, the advisor took more notes. His jaw clenched as he heard more about what Renee's father did to her and her brothers and on the table, his left hand curled into a fist. But he wasn't going to say anything as it wasn't his place.

Tilting his head to the side he looked at her. "Halloween, so you have it where you're from as well? How did you celebrate that?"

"Don't get me wrong, I like Christmas too--the lights and ornaments that the pine trees get decorated with are pretty. I just like Halloween better, I guess. I mean, there's a scary aspect to it--you're supposed to frighten other people and be frightened a bit, and there are haunted houses and stuff."

Not that Renee had actually been through a haunted house--acted at one? Sure. It had been a good way to get a costume and a bit of money for candy to pass out to kids...

"Usually my brothers and I would try to get jobs around then. Raking leaves, mowing lawns, or acting at a haunted house. The last part was the best because we could get away from Dad. Once the actual date for Halloween rolled around, one of us would stay home and pass out candy. The others would get candy by trick or treating. If we had extra time, we'd go work the haunted house, too--they were super popular. That was basically it, for us."

That and hiding their earnings and their candy from their father, too.

More notes went down. Ornaments were something new and the trees.."Are the trees only allowed to be Pine?" By the Six he was going to do this christmas thing right. Especially since Renee said that this was all a sort of spirit that resided in people.

"Halloween is something to do with witches and costumes then correct?" That was about all Ignis knew about Halloween. And as he listened he had more questions. "What is the meaning behind this..trick or treating and passing out candy?"

There had to be a reason behind the things. Christmas he understood about now. But this Halloween thing was new and he wanted to learn all that he could about it.

"Uh. I think they use spruce too. They're supposed to be...coniferous? So with needles instead of leaves, and cones filled with seeds." It had been a while since Renee had had any sort of biology class, so the proper terms took a moment to unearth themselves...

"Ornaments are just little decorations." She'd noticed the note-taking. Not that Renee could figure out why Ignis was bothering, but most of his team did consist of children, so... "Christmas motifs are things like...reindeer, snowmen, gingerbread men, Santa himself, elves--but not like Feanor or Curufin, they're smaller and more cutesy, if that makes any sense?" She really does not want to see what Feanor might do if he were likened to a Christmas elf.

"Yeah, it hearkens back more to rituals about turning of the seasons and the dead, if I remember my reading right. You dress up as something frightening to scare away the spirits of the dead?" It had been equally long since Renee had read things about that, so she was worried it was hazy. "It's a pagan holiday too...or around it. That's more a harvest festival. It's called Samhain, but they're usually right around the same time? I think?" Renee chuckled a little.

"It's a bribe, basically. You're giving out treats so you don't get tricked. The trick part was more of a thing in past centuries, but some teenagers who are more delinquent than my brothers and I were? They'd do things like throw rolls of toilet paper into people's trees, or egg their houses, if they didn't get candy or whatever in quantities they liked."

More meticulous notes were taken and Ignis nodded. Renee was definitely pretty well informed and this was all going to help so much to try and do this whole christmas thing proper for his team. But he did plan to hold a team meeting to see what was traditional to them to, just in case all of these wonderful notes didn't compare with anything that they were used to.

He couldn't help but laugh at the mental image of Feanor or Curufin as tiny elves making toys that he'd heard about so to give himself a moment after that, he had some coffee. "That does indeed make sense."

After listening to Renee get back on the topic of Halloween, he continued to take notes about why the holiday had the traditions that it did. The harvest aspect was interesting and made notes about it being pagan. Those got question marks for him to ask about.

He shook his head when she went on about eggs and toilet paper. He was just glad he grew up where he did and not where Renee was so all of that was definitely avoided, because it sounded altogether unpleasant. "I see." was all he would say regarding it.

"And I'm sorry, I don't quite know what pagan is."

Why did his cellphone not work so he could look this up? Oh right, space.

"However, I do have a more pressing question. "When precisely is Halloween?"

"It's got to do with religion, not that I'm religious, myself. It's..." She paused, collecting her thoughts. "One of the biggest religions on my world is monotheistic, they worship one god." Despite said god being in three parts, usually. "Anyway, pagan is pretty much anything not involved with that religion."

Renee shrugged at that. "Anyway, I don't know what month Bassoon's supposed to reflect, but Halloween was at the end of October. First full month of the fall season. Leaves on the trees were turning colors and falling off, and it could be sort of cool and spooky most places where I'd lived, so."

A thought struck her then. "You want me to put little drawings of Halloween stuff and Christmas stuff in your margin? They're not going to be stunning, but it might give you an idea of what you're trying to aim for, I guess."

If it were up to her, Renee wouldn't, but she was pretty sure Ignis was doing it for the kids on his team--if not the younger set on the whole train--and as far as that went, she refused to be a party pooper.

No notes were written on pagan or this other one god thing.

But then notes were written at the part of the colours and leaves. Renee had mentioned spooky things and haunted things earlier, so those went into the notes.

At her offer though, Ignis was delighted. "Drawings would certainly give this a clearer picture. If you would be so kind." Immediately he turned the papers around to her so that she could start to get to work. Really he didn't need them. But getting her involved in this whole thing was where he was going with it.

"They need not be stunning, but they will help."

"Good, 'cause they're not going to be stunning. Music was my art, not...drawing or painting or stuff." Though really, her doodles aren't terribly bad. She has Christmas ones by his entry there, as a border. Santa's head, a reindeer, an elf head, a Christmas ornament (just a simple bulb), a string of lights. She adds on a gingerbread man and then moves on to Halloween--a witch on a broomstick, a black bat, a black cat, a full moon, a skeleton, a vampire, and a werewolf.

"You think I'm missing anything? Wait, you wouldn't know." She makes a face at that. "Then again, you could always ask someone else to add to them..."

Ignis sips his coffee as his green eyes watch Renee do her doodles. He didn't recognize some of the things she was drawing but he was definitely interested. It took her a little while to get them fully drawn but he looked up as she asked her question. Honestly he had no idea what she was missing, and he smiled as she supplied that he wouldn't know the answer.

"I wouldn't even know what to ask them to add." This was said with a small shake of his head. "As it stands, I'm not completely sure what you've drawn so far." His head tilted as he tried to decode the symbols, but then the green eyes returned to Renee's face. "Care to translate for me?"

"Okay, okay!" Renee couldn't help but snort in amusement, then leaned over the notes and started pointing to the doodles.

"You know what bats and cats are, I hope?" Pointing those out. The cat was just a face, really, though she picked up a pen again and did a little doodle of a cat in a Halloween-style back arch. So long as no one was asking her to do a portrait or anything, her doodles served just fine. "And I hoped the moon was kind of obvious, too."

She went down the line, naming each doodle and if possible, she tried to give a little history about each monster she'd drawn. Renee ended up adding a little Frankenstein's monster head, too, and describing the story of the mad scientist and his creation.

"And that's Halloween stuff," Renee said, moving on to repeat the process she'd just ended with one holiday with Christmas, now. "So didn't you have any holidays where you're from?" she asked, once she'd finished there.

He nodded about the cats and the bats. "Yes the moon was." Ignis is still watching her pretty intently trying to figure out what she's doing. It was truly fascinating to hear all of the things that Renee knew about. All of these stories really helped create a much bigger picture in his mind than he had before.

"You should be a school teacher." And this wasn't said mockingly, Ignis genuinely meant every word. He marveled at all of her wisdom and then she moved onto the christmas doodles that she was doing. Again Renee was quite the source of information.

When she turned a question on him, he shook his head. "Birthdays and the founding of the Kingdom. We have festivals but they're themed really, nothing at all such as you're describing."

"Oh hell no!" Renee exclaimed, looking downright frightened. "I don't have the patience for that sort of thing! I'd scare the little kids, or worse." Bust a desk in a fit of frustration, send the kiddies running scared. No thank you. Of the many things Renee envisioned herself as, a teacher was not one of them. Not in the least.

"Birthdays, huh? Not that I have any clue what I'd get you, but what the hell. When's yours?"

Renee's emphatic reaction startled Ignis a bit and he was about to apologize, but then she explained. Mentally he disagreed with her, thinking that she would be able to have the patience, but then again she knew herself better than he ever would. She had been very kind to his team so that's all he had to go by.

At the topic change he smiled. "My birthday is February seventh and no gift is required. When is your birthday?"

"Too close to Christmas to do anything for, or so I've been told." Last time Renee remembered having anything remotely resembling a birthday party, she'd still been wearing dresses willingly.

"Besides, if you're not gonna accept a gift, why should I? Turnabout's fair play and all that." She didn't think she was that good with kids, especially really young ones. That didn't mean that Renee didn't try, or that she didn't like kids. She'd just feel bad if she was the one who hurt them by being careless.

"I figure you got told the date. Three days before." The date for Christmas, she meant.

Nodding, Ignis didn't want to push it. Plans began forming in his mind immediately as to what to do. He wasn't sure who all of her friends were but he would definitely try to keep an eye on that sort of thing so that he could make sure she had her friends around her for her birthday.

"That's fair." he agreed easily. However, her birthday was before his and if he could find a way to have someone else give her a gift from him in the guise that it was from them and not him, well he won.

"Will you help me with the Halloween and christmas things then?" Might as well have a partner in crime.

"What kind of help are we talking about, here? And the more important question: why are you asking me, and not Tony? He's like a big kid anyway." Which was the gods' honest truth...

Though she made a little bit of a face at that. "Not sure you really have to twist my arm about Halloween, though, I mean." Renee wasn't entirely sure she wanted to, but since a lot of her best memories revolved around Halloween, well.

"I gotta wonder if that was why there were pumpkins on the last platform. I kinda, uh, grabbed some." Not that she'd done anything with them except store some of the bigger ones in kitchen storage--Renee had grabbed an armful of smaller ones, too. Those were still in her duffle bag, hidden in her room. They'd seemed to be okay, so far...

"Decorations.." and Ignis' voice trailed off at the mention of Tony. Something seemed off about it, maybe that was the reason she had..no. "I thought to ask you, but if you'd like to decline, that is up to you."

He couldn't force her to help and wouldn't even if he could. But then she went on about Halloween and so that's what the pumpkins must've been for. Ignis had meant to grab some for pies and ingredients, not having used them before. However, as he thought to do so, Tony had an anxiety attack and there hadn't been time.

"You did? How many?" This has Ignis curious, interested chef is interested.

"Uh, three or four big one and maybe six or seven little ones? I can carry a lot, but it also kinda depends on how good my balance with it all is." Since her kinetic powers didn't also include telekinesis, which for once Renee felt was a real pity. She could've gotten so many more pumpkins, had that been the case.

"Yeah, pumpkins are a thing for Halloween and fall in general, 'cuz usually they're harvested around them. They're usually for jack-o-lanterns..." Her lips twitched at that.

"They used to be called 'ignis fatuus' or foolish fire, 'cause they were another name for will-o-wisps, too. Things people thought were like...ghostly fire, but it was probably just like...swamp gas, I don't know. I've never seen anything like that, but I generally don't go hang around in a swamp, either..."

Renee paused again, thinking. "They carve jack-o-lanterns from all sorts of gourds and root veggies, in the places that do it, but my brothers and I just used pumpkins..." She shrugged. "And we'd put tea lights in them to make them glow."

"How fascinating." Ignis pronounced, writing everything down. At this rate, he might have more notes on Halloween than christmas. But there he went, until he caught his name used in conjunction with foolish and then his green eyes narrowed. It was something else though and he nodded thoughtfully. "Fire and swamps, both can be rather nasty business."

His pen had paused and he looked at her. "So you clean it all out and then cook the insides. Then you carve the husk and use it as a luminary.." More notes.

"Those would be splendid things to see."

Edited 2019-10-20 01:14 (UTC)

"No no, you don't cook pumpkin guts, not the squishy stuff! You can separate out the seeds and roast them, but if you want to make pumpkin for pie, you get the guts out and roast the actual pumpkin. Skin on, but that comes off afterwards." Renee was no cook or chef or anything in the ballpark of Ignis' skill, but she knew that much. If only because she'd do that to their leftover jack-o-lanterns, if they weren't scorched. Food was food.

"Oh, I should tell you about Turkey Day--uh, that's American Thanksgiving. Canada--that's another country on my world--they have Thanksgiving too, but that's usually before Halloween. American Thanksgiving is celebrated between Halloween and Christmas--the fourth Thursday in November." She didn't remember when Canada did it, so she'd skip that part--though if Ignis asked, Renee would own up to not knowing.

"Yeah, glowing jack-o-lanterns are part of the fun of Halloween! But Thanksgiving is like...gratitude for a good harvest and a time to get together with family." Which probably meant nothing good for Renee, but she was trying to separate out what was good from her own shitty experiences. "There's usually a lot of food--the centerpiece is a roasted turkey. That's a flightless bird that's native to America. And then stuff like potatoes, cranberries and yams and other veggies, and bread, and pumpkin pie...the idea is basically to eat. A lot."

Renee'd already eaten, but she already felt like she could have another go at the kitchen, after relaying that.

"I see." This had him amending his note scribbles. It seemed as soon as he got those notes down, now Renee was throwing something else at him. Thanksgiving. He hadn't heard about that one, so she got an interested glance and he pulled out a clean sheet of paper, not knowing how much of it he was going to need in order to properly notate all that she was going to undoubtedly tell him.

More notes went down but Ignis looked up at her when he was done. In that short span of time he'd filled up three quarters of the page with just notes. "Thinking of feeding an entire train would take days of meal preparation. Or different days could be scheduled since I am not the only one who cooks here." Not that he'd be sharing the kitchen with any of them as he didn't for the party.

His green eyes looked and flipped a few pages backwards. "Looks like we've got our work cut out for us."

"Assuming we can even find turkeys...though that's just traditional, pretty sure there are other foods used for a main course too." Though Renee is not even going to speak blasphemy by naming things like tofu. Tofu is okay, but it's not a primary food source, even to her when she was desperate...

"You want me to do some illustrations for you there, too?" Though she couldn't help sort of chuckling at that. "Well, yeah, but you're the chef, I'm just gonna chop and clean for you if you need, I guess." She'd already volunteered, and stubborn and prickly as she is, Renee wouldn't go back on that now. If nothing else, she's got her pride.

"We can substitute. I'm sure we'll find more ingredients on another mission." Foraging and fighting were after all, certainly up this man's alley. Ignis wasn't even sure that he would be able to find birds in time, but as of the next mission he was a man on a mission of a different sort too.

"Illustrations would indeed help." He surrendered the paper and pen to her, delighted that she would help. Picking up his mug, green eyes peered into it. "I'm getting more coffee, can I fetch you another cup?"

It was repayment for all of her help after all.

"Yeah, sure." For the moment, Renee was more involved with drawing turkeys and multicolored corn and cranberries and other Thanksgiving-inspired doodles across the top of Ignis' Thanksgiving page.

"Yeah, it depends on what the train gives us too, I imagine. Not that we even know what month it actually is corresponding to, back on Earth or where ever else!" Which was a bit frustrating to her, but Renee wasn't really sure she cared if she knew when she turned 20, either...

He went off and refilled the coffee cups. Bringing them back, he set hers down first. Looking over her shoulder at the new drawings, he couldn't help but smile before seating himself across from her.

"Well I'd imagine if the pumpkins are any indication, we must be in or near this Halloween of yours." It was Renee's holiday because Ignis didn't have that back where he was from. It made him wonder what the citadel would look like though he didn't imagine Regis would be up for decorating the throne room with spider webbing.

Noct might like the idea of it, but spiders and bugs weren't his thing, so he highly doubted the new King of Lucis would allow them near him.

But in and outside

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CW: alcoholism, mild abuse

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