The touch of Koumyou's forehead to his back makes him flinch, but it's just surprise and keyed up nerves. Immediately after that he leans back, just a little, a brief acknowledging pressure.
If that ever changes, if he does start to fear Koumyou... won't he just deserve it? Just like he deserves whatever Valdana's put him through, just because he put himself into her hands. Just because he's so fucking desperate and emotionally needy that he'll latch on to anyone. Just because he needs to be kept in line, since his own judgment is so fucking bad...
Now that he's started thinking this way, he finds it just as hard to shake as Koumyou is. Now he's afraid, too.
He tries to control the bleak pessimism he's feeling when he responds. "My choices are mine to make, and the consequences mine to endure." ...Emphasis on tries.
cw self-directed victim blaming
If that ever changes, if he does start to fear Koumyou... won't he just deserve it? Just like he deserves whatever Valdana's put him through, just because he put himself into her hands. Just because he's so fucking desperate and emotionally needy that he'll latch on to anyone. Just because he needs to be kept in line, since his own judgment is so fucking bad...
Now that he's started thinking this way, he finds it just as hard to shake as Koumyou is. Now he's afraid, too.
He tries to control the bleak pessimism he's feeling when he responds. "My choices are mine to make, and the consequences mine to endure." ...Emphasis on tries.