Some Nights I Stay Up

[10billionpercent]

Who: Senku Ishigami, OPEN
Where: Multiple carriages
When: Jelly 26
What: A nightmare, a panic attack and a composed Senku is no longer composed.
Warnings: Nightmare, panic attack, isolation, survival elements

Senku had gotten into his pajamas at some point, having gone through whatever his night routine had been but he’d fallen asleep in the library. It wasn’t that rare that he worked himself to exhaustion at home, but it was much rarer here that he didn’t allow himself to be lured to bed. It was even earlier than usual for him to crash. His mood had been a bit off since the strange day he spent as a child and while it didn’t inherently bother him, feelings he hadn’t considered in thousands of years had resurfaced.

That may have been the precursor to the nightmare. He didn’t dream of home, not exactly, he was in the very library he’d fallen asleep in. He closed a book, the smell of the pages crisp in the air as he snapped it shut. He looked up.

It was quiet. Too quiet. No rustling sounds of pages being turned, no conversations, nothing. His brow furrowed and he went down the stairs to find someone familiar, sitting at a table over a book, completely turned to stone.

“No.” Senku breathed and went to touch the statue briefly, pressing his lips together before turning and going out of the library. He needed to get someone, he needed to get something to help them. He knew this, he could-

Another statue was in the next carriage and his eyes widened. “Not this, I can’t.” He breathed. He was trembling, but he pressed forward, to find in the next carriage, the familiar statue of Gen and he jolted awake.

Senku’s head snapped up from the table and he looked around, breathing incredibly laboured. It all looked the same, he couldn’t hear anything, it wasn’t possible, he couldn’t do this again. He got to his feet and started moving through the train.

He was poking his head into every car he went, but he wasn’t really seeing what he wanted. If someone was there, he didn’t notice them, he was wild-eyed, sweat trickling down the side of his face and breathing hard.

He gave in finally, collapsing to his knees, one hand grasping his chest. It was squeezing him so tightly, so painfully. “No, no, no, I can’t, please, I can’t-” It was a whispered, pained prayer to whoever he was hoping would listen. “Not again.”

[OOC: It doesn't matter where Senku is found, you may choose your carriage of choice!]

Comments

[miseris_socios]

“Hey.” The voice was small and high, but there. Knees thumping quietly against the floor of the carriage and a bag set down. Ken wanted to reach out, but that was a bad idea. All he could do was kneel next to the distressed guy.

“Wherever you are in your head, you’re here. Not there. Can you breathe slowly with me?” He breathed in and out, deliberately making the sounds loud and slow.

[sciencegirl]

Normally Entrapta would greet him as usual. A chirpy "Hiii", a casual hello in her nasal tone. Maybe wave with her hair. Instead she sees the expression, the wildness in his eyes, and immediate concern hits her and she chases after him.

She looks behind her. Nothing chasing him? Then what's happening?

"Senku?" She lowers herself down beside him. This is a panic attack. This is something terrible bearing down on him. He's been through so much (and that's just what he's told her), it only makes sense that the world would eventually catch up. There would be a point of too much. Too much might have even happened long ago, it just needed to catch up.

"Senku, it's me! Entrapta." She doesn't touch him immediately, but she's there, hovering near and around him. "Senku, you're on the train. You're okay. You're safe, I promise."

[fivemilesdeep]

The greenhouse is generally quiet this time of night, though the odd person walking through isn't out of place. Hearing someone collapse, however-

He's by Senku's side in the space of a thought, kneeling in front of him. No visible injuries, though he'd need to check him over to make sure. "Senku?" His tone is even, a calm born of experience with emergencies. "Can you hear me?"

[10billionpercent]

At first, it seemed like Senku wasn't going to respond, it was less that he didn't want to and more that the words weren't really registering at first, but as Ken continued, his eyes snapped in his direction, almost as though he were surprised.

"I..." He tried, grimacing, not this again.

[10billionpercent]

The initial collapse had him out of it, but her voice made him jump, mildly startled, as though he wasn't expecting it, and honestly, he wasn't. He thought for a moment that everyone...

He was taking quick breaths, looking at her a little wide-eyed, as though he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

[10billionpercent]

Senku wasn't injured, not even the way he was grasping his chest, his breathing so uneven and rough. There was nothing visibly wrong with him, but his eyes also seemed unfocused, whatever it was he thought was going on wasn't quite the reality. For the moment, he hadn't registered Ryo's presence, curled in a little bit on himself.

If he wants to talk about it, I'm down for any angst/darker thread regarding panic attacks!

[runicfeathers]

Willow herself had been up, doing late night research into acupuncture after having talked with Wen Qing about studying under her for more ways of healing and non magic medicine when a concerning sound comes through the quiet car. A voice she recognizes from a person she's not on perfect terms with, but has concern for nonetheless.

Immediately, she closes the book and rushes over to him, seeing what she knows too well of a panicked state.

"Senku! What's wrong, can you hear me? Listen to my voice and breathe, please."

Her tone is unusually soft towards him, worried with genuine concern even. She does her best to radiate a soothing magicked aura of healing, trying her best to be a comforting presence.

[miseris_socios]

“Hey.” Ken forced a smile that he really wasn’t feeling. “You’re here, on the train. People are safe.”

Probably.

[fivemilesdeep]

He's not here - not really. Simply talking to him might not get through.

Senku doesn't like to be touched, but Ryo needs to break through somehow. He lays a hand gently on Senku's knee. "Senku, you're on the train. You're safe, I promise."

[10billionpercent]

"Yeah." Senku answered, nodding, he knew he was on the train, that was part of the nightmare. Well, that part was new, wasn't it?

He shifted off of his knees, sitting down properly, trying to get his wits about him.

Want is a strong word XD

[10billionpercent]

He visibly jumped when she spoke to him, looking at her with wide eyes as though he wasn't expecting her to be there, alive, animated, talking to him.

He sucked in a harsh breath and curled in on himself. The last time this happened he didn't have an audience. He'd been alone.

"I...there's..." He was still breathing heavily, his heart hammering. "I'm-" He meant to say he was fine. "Not alone."

[10billionpercent]

He hadn't been paying attention and the contact made him jump visibly, eyes wide as he stared at Ryo, as though he was trying to place how it was he came to be in front of him like that.

"I'm..." He swallowed, putting his free hand to his face. "You're safe."

[miseris_socios]

"... Hang on." Ken reached into his bag and pulled out some slices of bread that he'd carefully wrapped. He held one out to Senku. "Sometimes eating can help ground you."

[10billionpercent]

It wasn't a technique he would've chosen at home, not at all. The odds of him having food at the ready were incredibly low.

He would take it though. He didn't feel hungry, but obediently, he took a bite, trying to get his bearings. The last time that happened this thoroughly, he hadn't had an audience.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

[fivemilesdeep]

Ryo doesn't move his hand. If the contact is helping to ground Senku, then the contact stays. "I am. And so are you," he reiterates, because that is important. "And so is everyone here."

That has the potential to go in circles, so Ryo directs the conversation instead. "Tell me what you're seeing."

[miseris_socios]

"... Nothing to be sorry about. I... um. Most of my team members have this every once in a while. At least you hopefully didn't set anything on fire?"

That had been a long day...

[10billionpercent]

"Nothing now, I mean, you, obviously." He explained in the way that he was literal, but at least his breathing was calming down slowly enough. It was coming along.

"Everyone was petrified, except for me." He murmured.

[10billionpercent]

"I don't have those kinds of capabilities." Senku responded as a bit of a weak joke, but he forgot to smile about it. "I'm just an ordinary, powerless human."

[miseris_socios]

"Matches work for anyone, powers or no." He sighed and sat back, watching Senku. "... Um. Did you... need... to talk about it?"

[10billionpercent]

He managed an amused huff at that. "Matches. Don't carry them. By the time I get a fire started, someone would know."

He shook his head. "Not...I don't have to. I just...it's nothing."

Senku didn't know how to deal with his own vulnerability.

[miseris_socios]

"'Nothing' enough to make you have a panic attack. Do you... um. At least have someone you can talk to?" He... wasn't very good at this. Normally when Strega had nightmares everyone else stayed out of the dreamer's way.

[fivemilesdeep]

And yet they get there eventually. Senku is also breathing more easily, which helps.

Petrified could mean a number of things, but... "And now you know that's not the case, because you can see me, and I'm not petrified. And-" He pauses for a moment to listen to his Sense. "There's at least a dozen people on either side of this car who aren't petrified either. You're not alone."

[10billionpercent]

Senku shook his head. "It's not important. I can manage it." He responded. This had happened before and he hadn't done anything about it.

[10billionpercent]

He let out a rush of air that might've been intended to be a chuckle, but he didn't get there.

"Yeah. I'm not alone." Senku agreed. "I should've known."

He hadn't meant to cause a commotion. He rubbed at his chest, the pain was faded but still lingering, that was annoying.

[fun_thementalist]

Gen hadn’t been asleep - he’d been working on something that he wanted to surprise Senku with later. The light was low in his bunk so he wouldn’t disturb the other people in the sleeper car.

So, when Senku peeked his head in, he scrambled - but. Senku didn’t seem to notice, eyes wide and yet as if they were unseeing. Like he was searching for something he couldn’t find.

“Senku-chan?” Gen followed him out and called for him, but nothing. And then he collapsed -

- Gen ran toward him, kneeling by his side. He wasn’t even certain if he was fully awake, or aware. Or if something - or someone - Gen told him, “Senku-chan. I’m here. You’re all right. Can you hear me, my dear?”