Some Nights I Stay Up

[10billionpercent]

Who: Senku Ishigami, OPEN
Where: Multiple carriages
When: Jelly 26
What: A nightmare, a panic attack and a composed Senku is no longer composed.
Warnings: Nightmare, panic attack, isolation, survival elements

Senku had gotten into his pajamas at some point, having gone through whatever his night routine had been but he’d fallen asleep in the library. It wasn’t that rare that he worked himself to exhaustion at home, but it was much rarer here that he didn’t allow himself to be lured to bed. It was even earlier than usual for him to crash. His mood had been a bit off since the strange day he spent as a child and while it didn’t inherently bother him, feelings he hadn’t considered in thousands of years had resurfaced.

That may have been the precursor to the nightmare. He didn’t dream of home, not exactly, he was in the very library he’d fallen asleep in. He closed a book, the smell of the pages crisp in the air as he snapped it shut. He looked up.

It was quiet. Too quiet. No rustling sounds of pages being turned, no conversations, nothing. His brow furrowed and he went down the stairs to find someone familiar, sitting at a table over a book, completely turned to stone.

“No.” Senku breathed and went to touch the statue briefly, pressing his lips together before turning and going out of the library. He needed to get someone, he needed to get something to help them. He knew this, he could-

Another statue was in the next carriage and his eyes widened. “Not this, I can’t.” He breathed. He was trembling, but he pressed forward, to find in the next carriage, the familiar statue of Gen and he jolted awake.

Senku’s head snapped up from the table and he looked around, breathing incredibly laboured. It all looked the same, he couldn’t hear anything, it wasn’t possible, he couldn’t do this again. He got to his feet and started moving through the train.

He was poking his head into every car he went, but he wasn’t really seeing what he wanted. If someone was there, he didn’t notice them, he was wild-eyed, sweat trickling down the side of his face and breathing hard.

He gave in finally, collapsing to his knees, one hand grasping his chest. It was squeezing him so tightly, so painfully. “No, no, no, I can’t, please, I can’t-” It was a whispered, pained prayer to whoever he was hoping would listen. “Not again.”

[OOC: It doesn't matter where Senku is found, you may choose your carriage of choice!]

Comments

[miseris_socios]

“Hey.” The voice was small and high, but there. Knees thumping quietly against the floor of the carriage and a bag set down. Ken wanted to reach out, but that was a bad idea. All he could do was kneel next to the distressed guy.

“Wherever you are in your head, you’re here. Not there. Can you breathe slowly with me?” He breathed in and out, deliberately making the sounds loud and slow.

[10billionpercent]

At first, it seemed like Senku wasn't going to respond, it was less that he didn't want to and more that the words weren't really registering at first, but as Ken continued, his eyes snapped in his direction, almost as though he were surprised.

"I..." He tried, grimacing, not this again.

[miseris_socios]

“Hey.” Ken forced a smile that he really wasn’t feeling. “You’re here, on the train. People are safe.”

Probably.

[sciencegirl]

Normally Entrapta would greet him as usual. A chirpy "Hiii", a casual hello in her nasal tone. Maybe wave with her hair. Instead she sees the expression, the wildness in his eyes, and immediate concern hits her and she chases after him.

She looks behind her. Nothing chasing him? Then what's happening?

"Senku?" She lowers herself down beside him. This is a panic attack. This is something terrible bearing down on him. He's been through so much (and that's just what he's told her), it only makes sense that the world would eventually catch up. There would be a point of too much. Too much might have even happened long ago, it just needed to catch up.

"Senku, it's me! Entrapta." She doesn't touch him immediately, but she's there, hovering near and around him. "Senku, you're on the train. You're okay. You're safe, I promise."

[10billionpercent]

The initial collapse had him out of it, but her voice made him jump, mildly startled, as though he wasn't expecting it, and honestly, he wasn't. He thought for a moment that everyone...

He was taking quick breaths, looking at her a little wide-eyed, as though he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

[sciencegirl]

She very tentatively puts a real hand on his arm.

"Senku, it's really me! You're right here.... on a... magic train oh no this is terrible... But I want you to breath when I tell you to, if you can hear me..." she's a microsecond from getting out the ICP, but instead she inhales, holds, exhales. One two three. One two three.

She doesn't want to have to rush him to medical.

[fivemilesdeep]

The greenhouse is generally quiet this time of night, though the odd person walking through isn't out of place. Hearing someone collapse, however-

He's by Senku's side in the space of a thought, kneeling in front of him. No visible injuries, though he'd need to check him over to make sure. "Senku?" His tone is even, a calm born of experience with emergencies. "Can you hear me?"

[10billionpercent]

Senku wasn't injured, not even the way he was grasping his chest, his breathing so uneven and rough. There was nothing visibly wrong with him, but his eyes also seemed unfocused, whatever it was he thought was going on wasn't quite the reality. For the moment, he hadn't registered Ryo's presence, curled in a little bit on himself.

[fivemilesdeep]

He's not here - not really. Simply talking to him might not get through.

Senku doesn't like to be touched, but Ryo needs to break through somehow. He lays a hand gently on Senku's knee. "Senku, you're on the train. You're safe, I promise."

If he wants to talk about it, I'm down for any angst/darker thread regarding panic attacks!

[runicfeathers]

Willow herself had been up, doing late night research into acupuncture after having talked with Wen Qing about studying under her for more ways of healing and non magic medicine when a concerning sound comes through the quiet car. A voice she recognizes from a person she's not on perfect terms with, but has concern for nonetheless.

Immediately, she closes the book and rushes over to him, seeing what she knows too well of a panicked state.

"Senku! What's wrong, can you hear me? Listen to my voice and breathe, please."

Her tone is unusually soft towards him, worried with genuine concern even. She does her best to radiate a soothing magicked aura of healing, trying her best to be a comforting presence.

Want is a strong word XD

[10billionpercent]

He visibly jumped when she spoke to him, looking at her with wide eyes as though he wasn't expecting her to be there, alive, animated, talking to him.

He sucked in a harsh breath and curled in on himself. The last time this happened he didn't have an audience. He'd been alone.

"I...there's..." He was still breathing heavily, his heart hammering. "I'm-" He meant to say he was fine. "Not alone."

[runicfeathers]

The look he gives her is an immediate sign that things definitely are not okay even with prior signs of that, and she sighs, frowning before taking another breath. She kneels down, not touching him, but still radiating the aura at a little more potent strength.

"That's right, you're not alone. I'm here, so are others. Do you know where you are?"

An obvious question, no doubt, but an important one.

[fun_thementalist]

Gen hadn’t been asleep - he’d been working on something that he wanted to surprise Senku with later. The light was low in his bunk so he wouldn’t disturb the other people in the sleeper car.

So, when Senku peeked his head in, he scrambled - but. Senku didn’t seem to notice, eyes wide and yet as if they were unseeing. Like he was searching for something he couldn’t find.

“Senku-chan?” Gen followed him out and called for him, but nothing. And then he collapsed -

- Gen ran toward him, kneeling by his side. He wasn’t even certain if he was fully awake, or aware. Or if something - or someone - Gen told him, “Senku-chan. I’m here. You’re all right. Can you hear me, my dear?”

[10billionpercent]

He hadn't been aware when he was searching around, and the collapse had been inevitable. He was overwrought and overwhelmed, not seeing what he should be.

Senku didn't answer right away.

Suddenly, his eyes snapped to Gen's as he startled at seeing him there, alive and well, just like he was supposed to be.

He let out a hysterical kind of noise that couldn't be identified as to what emotion it was meant to be mimicking.

[fun_thementalist]

Gen raised his hands up, not sure how to make that. Was Senku surprised to see him? Afraid? So Gen defaulted to universal gesture of surrender at first, not certain what was happening.

It looked an awful lot like a panic attack, though. So he kept trying to talk to him, trying to get him to focus on something outside his own head.

(If this was the Void or someone on the train messing with Senku again, he was going to be very unhappy.)

“See? It’s just me, my darling. Do you remember me?” Just checking. “Take a deep breath with me, nice and steady. You’re okay. Everyone here is okay. I’m with you. Breathe with me.”

[flatteries]

This was just about the last thing Inigo thought he'd see while grabbing a snack.

But he doesn't let surprise freeze him up for very long. He knows he can't afford to just stand there and watch, not when Senku is literally on the ground. In obvious pain - despite there not being any visible injuries on the other from what Inigo can see.

So he moves. Putting down whatever he was trying to grab on the counter, instead taking a few quick steps over to where Senku is. He moves down so he's sitting on his knees on the floor as well - having to resist the urge to reach out and touch Senku's shoulder, considering he isn't too sure if that'd help at all since this is Senku.

"Senku." So instead he speaks. Inigo's voice is surprisingly steady compared to the panic he can feel inside of his heart, but this is something he's had to practice way too often. Remaining calm, even when he's worried out of his mind about someone else.

"Senku," he repeats the name with that same calm, yet insistent tone, in case he hadn't gotten the other's intention yet with the current state Senku was in. "Look at me."

It probably can't be easy to follow even such a simple request, but Inigo figures that it's much better to wait with saying anything else until he's sure he has contact here. He can't be sure how much attention Senku can even pay to him when he's like this, after all.

[10billionpercent]

Senku's breathing was erratic, and he seemed to be trembling a little bit. Inigo was right when he thought he hadn't really looked at him at first. It seemed to take a moment to register that someone was speaking to him.

When he did, his eyes snapped up to look at Inigo. Inigo may have never noticed it, but he wasn't really great at meeting people's eyes, not completely. He tended to talk to people while doing other things which was an excellent cover for that.

This time he was staring at him, eyes wide and a bit wild, and startled. He definitely looked startled.

[mtsilver_conquor]

She'd almost been asleep herself when the emotions came over the bond, and it takes time for Eva to sort everything out. More so given she's also had the weird day of being a young teenager on her mind and Senku's emotions don't exactly help.

As soon as she feels calm enough to walk, she's heading his way.

She should probably ICP Gen -maybe he's closer?- but that's so not on her mind right now. Not when she knows the feelings of a panic attack, and by the time she finds him, her own emotions are nothing but a sea of gentle calm.

She is absolutely projecting that though the bond as best she can while crouching to face him, within reach but not touching.

"Senku? Can you focus on my voice?"

[10billionpercent]

It wasn't like Senku to project very much across their bond. He didn't swing into wild emotions very often, but this was something else entirely. He was terrified from what he'd seen to the point that he was in physical pain.

He wasn't reaching out to the bond to centre himself, he needed to regain his wits first.

When she spoke to him, he didn't register her, not at first.

[consider8]

"Senku...?" Eight snapped to attention, unsure of what had just happened. She was certain, though, that she was not about to let him go off after that dramatic entrance.

She watched as he continued to move down the train, a hurried tension in his gait that she was not used to seeing. He had always been so distant, so aloof, so sure. What would trouble him so?

Finally, as though succumbing to defeat, he fell to the floor. Partially with curiosity and partially out of compassion, the Octoling stood at a distance, watching him carefully so as to not bother him with her touch.

"...Senku..." She whispered, just barely audible between the two of them. "...I am here..."

[10billionpercent]

The quiet nature of her approach was likely a lot less startling, but at the same time it hadn't really caught his attention right away.

Senku whimpered slightly, despite himself.

It was then he sort of saw her in the corner of his eye and he blinked, brow furrowing as though he wasn't expecting to see her there, because it didn't fit in with what he was sure was happening.

[adregem]

When the train is this quiet at this time of the void, whatever time might mean for dimming lights around the hallways and hushed voices against the cold interiors, Roland can pick up everything. Every little sound, every little change. Minute details amplified when he's at his most alert; when Roland is deep in his own thoughts, recharging in the silence of wherever his mind roams. Tonight, the interruption is welcomed if not for who provides it. Senku's iconic hair and the way he cuts a striking figure in an otherwise serene dimness pulls at Roland's attention easily, dropped to his knees with heavy breaths that ring loudly in his ears.

Not again, no no no I can't -

He wonders if Senku comes into just the right car deliberately, to a place where the man fit for the role of existing in the realm of a living nightmare is watching him break apart by the seams. Senku's mantra invokes the familiar, except neither are dreaming and Roland is not in a wasteland of his own making. But try as he might to approach Senku, with soft steps and his hand raised ready to touch him to shake him free, he hesitates. The memory of hurting a friend is still vivid, so Roland opts for something a bit easier on the heart. A bit more distracting, hopefully. As Senku remains keeled over the floor of the games car, Roland summons a higgledy. One born from his heart, the closest to his fragmented soul. Rannygazoo the Resolute, who inspires determination in those who falter from their paths, appears in front of Senku in a sudden pop of light. No longer than a second, until its small body waddles closer, a little hand in offering as if trying to catch his attention from below.

This, Roland watches with eyes wide open, ready for whatever Senku might do or say, ready to help someone who he has pledged both allegiance and friendship to.

[10billionpercent]

He'd seen a higgledy, once, it was Inigo's, or maybe Tidus', hard to recall at the moment when he was nearly completely unaware of what was actually happening, his mind lingering on the ghosts of the past and blending them with his present.

The higgledy doesn't do much for him. He did catch sight of it, but he couldn't quite parse what that meant. What kind of creature it was.

It was like trying to read something covered in mud for all his mind was working at the moment. He didn't react to its reaching, he just continued breathing heavily, his fingers tightening on the front of his shirt in an attempt to dull the pain, but it wasn't helping because he was so severely affected.

[herarrows]

Selenay is used to being up late--not that the train lets her stay up as late as she's had to in the past. There's not much to keep her occupied on the train besides reading (or those strange "movie" things Senku had shown her, but she's still mostly confused by them), so she finds herself in the library most often. She tries not to disturb anyone when she's in there, but when she hears Senku breathing hard and leaving, her own head snaps up from her book and she follows him through all of the other cars, calling his name and very concerned.

"Senku? Hellsteeth, what happened? Are you alright?" Does she need to go get someone from the medical car? "Can you even hear me?"

[10billionpercent]

He didn't seem to hear her as she chased him, not until he collapsed and his singular focus could be diverted.

He grasped his chest painfully, to try and alleviate some of that anxious pain, breathing erratically.

"I...." He tried, swallowing. He licked his lips. He nodded once, that was better.