voidtreckerexpress | CABIN 1:E | CLOSED TO CABINMATES

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katsuya jonouchi [au-crau]

CABIN 1:E | CLOSED TO CABINMATES

Who: Jonouchi and Cabin 1:E
Where: Cabin 1:E!
When: Morning of Kazoo 5- right in the morning.
What: Jou just had a vision; it wasn't very pleasant
Warnings: Implications of possible future death, or past death, due to the discussion of both visions and related dreams.

Visions are expected. Visions are particularly expected before a mission, he knows that. And he's been petrified by them before, certainly- left heaving in his cot despite the fact that Kaseri was right there humming with magic, eyes wide, and heart racing.

They're not normally accompanied by a 'memory' though. Nor a dream, or at least a dream like this. A dream of dusty roads and clay built houses stained with red, of people's screams, and soldier's blades. Of being torn from the house roughly by the back of his head, pulled by the hair, but not fighting back.

Knowing he couldn't fight back.

Knowing that-

They would try- he has a vision of running, of someone holding something (someone?) close to their front. Of something chasing after them, knocking them down with such brutal force and rage, of it all going black-

"KhhH-HHOOOOAAAAUHHH-!"

Katsuya wakes up with a loud, choking gasp, holding his ponyta like a lifeline as she quietly knickers. The blond's eyes practically bug out of their sockets they're so wide, and for a good few moments he's simply unaware of the world as a whole.

...Unfortunately, he does share this room with others.

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"Why." Edge groaned from his own bunk, hands going up to cover his eyes. "Why couldn't I room with cute, eligible girls."

With a grunt, he sat up, looking over to check on Sir Screamsalot over there.

He swears he heard that. He swears, swears he heard that, and to that end, even if his face is muffled into a unicorn, he manages-

"Don't."

Well, not much. "Jus'... Don' joke...'r c'mplain...'r..." He's shaking still- slightly, in tremors, but he's shaking.

"I fuckin' hate th's man..."

Hey. Joking and complaining was pretty much what he did. His remaining option was generally ninjutsu, so he was pretty short on choices here.

"What's going on?" he said, turning and sliding his legs off the bunk to sit up.

"...Vision," he manages after a moment, rubbing his face. "Jus'... ...I think I got one f'r th' mission. I dunno. ...I, uh... ..."

He swallows. "...kinda had a hell 'f a nightmare jus' b'fore it, an' they linked up real good so... ...can't really tell, I guess..."

Well, that was a lot of useless. Edge didn't say that, though. "Anything at all you think you can get out of it?"

"...Sure. Yeah. Lady and her baby jus' got killed in th' streets," he quietly snaps, only to wince. "...sorry. I jus'... ...I can't. Change what I see, man. 'f I try somethin' worse happens, an' now this..."

A shuddering breath, and he shakes his head.

"...I jus'...really want it t' be somethin' from their past. ...Somethin' we don' have t' see..."

"Wait, what do you mean something worse happens if you try to change it?"

Edge didn't believe the future was written, and being told that just made him all the more stubbornly eager to change it.

A nod.

"...Yeah. ...Yeah, tha's...pr'tty much it. ...I uh..."

The blond swallows. "...Saved a kid who was s'pposed t' die, once. ...Normally I don' see tha' kind 'f stuff y'know? Jus' little things, like th' end 'f someone's sentence, or...well..."

Silence.

And then- "...year later 's whole village got killed 'nstead..."

Edge held up a hand quickly, shaking his head as he tried to process that. "Hey, hold on. That was a year later. How does one connect to the other?"

Katsuya's stare is fairly empty, when he gives his answer.

"...Year 'f famine 'n drought first."

Ah.

"How does saving a kid's life lead to a year of famine and drought?"

Color him extremely skeptical!

"I don' know! Apparen'ly fate 'r whatever didn' like me stickin' my foot in alrigh'! I'm jus' glad I don' see shit like tha' most 'f th' time okay, 's th' worst butterfly effect bullshit I've seen..!"

Unsure what butterflies had to do with this, Edge plowed on. "I don't buy that. There's no such thing as fate or destiny, or else you wouldn't be able to change what you saw in the first place. For all you know, that was going to happen anyway. Till there's proof, you're taking blame for something you didn't do and ignoring something you did!"

Katsuya, suffice to say, is unimpressed.

"...Y' sound like my boss." A pause, and- "She was wrong by th' way, I out predicted th' thing tha' she turned agains' th' predictions of." He had enough heart to not tell her that though, it probably would've driven his world's Kaiba bananas.

"B'sides, tha' ain't ev'n where th' wors' part hit, an' I know th' wors' bit was my fault." when the kid you save twice grows up to be the main antagonist-

"You know or you actually have proof?" Still skeptical, because Edge already found this whole concept fairly disgusting.

That tears any humor he'd slowly brought back right out of his words. The distant look is back again, and he turns away.

"...Both. 'cause th' kid was s'pposed t' die, an' I stopped it. ...an' then tha' kid grew up t' be somethin' tha' nearly d'stroyed th' world."

It might be wise to chase a different topic. That comes down to if Edge is wise though.

Ha ha. Wise. Edge.

The ninja slid off the bed, then folded his arms again to make his position all the stronger.

"You can't know the future. You can guess, you can maybe see a vision, you can do your very best to figure it out, but you can't know it. If I saw a kid in danger, I'd save them, and to hell with what could happen. I won't hear of you blaming yourself for doing what was obviously the right thing! You didn't make any decisions for that kid and you have no idea what would have happened if you didn't help."

He's getting kinda sick of this.

"Gettin' th' feelin' yer forgettin' th' part where they're normally not 'xactly precise- sometimes, y' can know a bit abou' it, an' if y' keep tryin' t' tell me I'm nuts 'r whatever, I'm gonna get real ticked," he hisses back. "What, y' think I'm jus' wallowin' in this? Shit happened, it was my fault, an' tha's tha'- an' th' wild thing is I'd do it again, so you can lay off abou' how I shouldn't think abou' th' consequences on a town, b'cause I got tha' part!"

That wasn't the issue after all. "Th's ain' abou' somethin' I already did- it's abou' what I saw now, b'cause you can say what y' want, but tha' ain't 'xactly gonna help th' part where whether I do anythin' or not, I still saw the fuckin' vision! Unless y' like th' idea of watchin' someone die even in a dream."

Because that's the issue. It's not the guilt of knowing what happened when he Did break a vision- he's never really been weighed down by that- nor the guilt of knowing he can't let himself break another.

It's the fact that he saw anything at all, because whether it happens or not, you don't just erase the image of someone dying.

"I deal with that often enough. People in the past who can't be saved."

Edge didn't talk about that much -- or at all, really -- but the sacking of Eblan had taken its toll no matter the vengeance he'd gotten or the time that had passed. And a small part of his soul was really never going to recover from seeing his parents, now monsters, commit suicide right in front of him.

"That your way 'f bein' a prick about it? 'Boo hoo, y' might fix it later at least'?" he spits, now quite blind with anger suffice to say. There is plenty of misery there however, and while Kaseri the ponyta has been quiet the entire time, she nudges him with her horn. The words are clearly all bark, no bite- reaction, without intention.

"I don' ev'n know if I'll be there man- th' point is tha' I can't stop seein' it, an' it'd be great 'f I could. 'specially since I keep gettin' new crap on top 'f it," Katsuya mutters more quietly.

"I'll grant that in your position I'd feel much the same." Which wasn't much of a grant, the way Edge saw it, because he wouldn't put himself in the position of believing nothing could be done. But if he DID, he'd be mighty irritated by it also.

"Thank you," he groans, burying his face in the ponyta. "Hones'ly th' worse bit was jus' th' past stuff...walkin' t' yer death ain't fun man...I jus' wanna have dreams about like, gian' pancakes 'r somethin' again..."

He may have forgotten to mention the matter of past lives.

"How did it even come about that this sort of thing happened?" Look, Edge wasn't going to ask any more about his crazy visions directly. That hadn't exactly gone well.

Nhhhyyy... "Havin' visions 'r havin' a past life? Hones'ly I don' have answers f'r either of 'm..."

"What, and with people versed in science and magic here you never considered asking for some help? If it's a burden and a misery, now's the time to take action!"

Edge was straightforward if nothing else.

Oii oiii-

"...I mean...'s kinda personal..." He pauses. "...Only reason I'm tellin' you is 'cause yer like. Stuck w'th it, y'know?"

"No, you're stuck with it. If trying to get help for it is worse than living with it, it's a bit hard to say it's so very bad." Calling you out on your logic there, pal.

"I ain't magickin' away trauma..!" After all, the visions might go, but the traumatic nightmares, not so much.

"Oh, no, I meant the visions. The trauma, I don't know about. That's your own path to walk."

Edge had done well by his own by slaying the fiend responsible, though it had hardly solved everything.

Hahhhhh, well, fair enough. "T' be hones', th' trauma's th' bigger issue...th' visions I can deal w'th, giv'n most 'f 'm don' make any sense..."

"I'd be willing to bet someone here has some advice for you. We have some pretty smart and sensible people, after all." And some less so, which might actually be better in this particular case, but he's not going to say that. "And I'm sure you're not the only one."

"Mnhhh..." Well, he can't really argue that completely...he'd love to, but fortunately for (both of) them, he's frankly all argued out. Heck, if he can, he'll go back to sleep in a bit.

Hm.

"...question is, how do I find 'm then."

"Ask. And don't give me any backtalk about pride! Pride isn't worth suffering and misery!"

Rules for thee and not for me, maybe, Edge? But then again, Edge wouldn't admit to suffering even to himself.

Oi.

Oi oi oi- "Tha'-"

"Tha' ain't what I meant, I meant how do I find who t' ask, I ain't jus' walkin' up t' everyone on th' damn train an' askin' if they're good w'th therapy..!"

Edge flopped back on his bed, leaving one hand up in the air to wave vaguely. "The ICPs, of course! Same way anyone who wants to address the train can do it."

He frowns.

"Hey cool question, y' do tha' f'r yourself, ever?"

If Edge has broadcasted anything that sensitive, then fine, maybe he'll consider it, but broadcasting 'hey, I need therapy' seems like a great way to get not therapy.

"I basically declared war on the entire train once, does that count?"

Edge had... a very different way of handling some things.

That definitely does not count.

He decides it's too early for this. "...Tell y' what...I'll think abou' it, yeah?"

He probably won't do it, but, it'll be on his mind until he finds someone he Can trust with that info at least!

"Just realize this! You have a way forward. It might not be easy, but if you don't take it, you'll be stuck exactly where you are. So ask yourself if that's what you want."

Edge settled back in, squirming a little to get comfortable. He still had plenty of sleep left in him!

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CABIN 1:E | CLOSED TO CABINMATES

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