be my mirror my sword and shield

[shegypt]

Who: Thief King Bakura OR Atem & you!
Where: Throughout the train (Bakura); gym car (Atem)
When: Llama 27
What: Bakura slacked off on getting her crystals made into a pendant….and then lost a Shadow Game to Atem. Hope you aren’t all too tired of illusions cuz she’s stuck in one now.
Warnings: MIND CRUSH.

[ Bakura ]

Bakura walks through a tomb.

Oddly enough, the surroundings comfort her - it's right that she should be here, in the catacombs no man should dare to tread, hand grazing the spells and images marked on the walls, unconsciously pausing, grabbing a rock, scratching out the pieces she needs to proceed without being cursed. Even when she encounters more physical traps - a deadly pitfall, a cluster of undead soldiers - her body takes her through the motions of dodging. This is where she belongs. This is right.

Except it's also so very wrong.

The thought of treasure, as always, spurs her onward - the thought of taking, taking, her hunger raging inside her yet battering against the walls of a hollowed-out hole. There had been something in here, once, in her heart. Something that had rooted around, burrowed deeper than any gravebuilder. Now she's left with empty passageways, a vacuum that abhors itself. She's seeking. The prize that will fill her up, that will glue her cracks, is in here - but where?

Not there....not there, either.....what is it........what did someone take from her....?

And what's she supposed to....feel.......when someone takes from her....?

Aimless, Bakura wanders the silent, still hallways of her mind. In the physical realm, her drive to pursue has lurched her body into motion - but she's stumbling, she has to lean on the walls of the train. Or she's taken a break, lying flat on her back anywhere that will fit her (a table in the gaming car, the....hallway....), slumping in corners, always with her head bowed and her eyes unfocused.

She looks like she's trying to focus, though. Like there's something on the tip of her tongue - but it keeps slipping through her fingers, like sand.

Falling through the gaps where the sun has burned her rot away.

[ Atem ]

Returning to reality, Atem observed the thief for a moment or two just to ensure they weren’t in any immediate danger (to themself, mostly). He took a few steps up to relieve her of that weapon and, calm as ever, exited the car. Silence guided his footsteps down through the various carriages. Controlled deep breaths all the way to the gym.

And he remained controlled, almost too controlled the entire time. His movements were swift; they carried purpose and intention. Focus. Smoothly walking up to a rack and wrapping his fingers around one of the dulled practice swords, he moved over toward the dummies and brought that blade swiftly to its neck. It took a disappointingly miniscule amount of effort even with such a dull blade.

He watched as the head rolled, and something about how easy it was just made him snap. The Pharaoh let out a scream -- the kind you let out at 3am when one too many things have gone wrong and that last thing was the end of the road; the kind you find yourself smashing plates and slamming doors and throwing everything in sight and for one cataclysmic moment there’s not a breath of control in sight. All that’s left is anger, a soul wrenching type that radiated off him in waves. Thick, and heavy, and damn near enough to almost knock someone over.

The kind that brings that blade right through its target. Skewers it straight through the heart or at least where the heart would be. His jaw tight, his entire body tight as he curled idle fingers around the shoulder. A grip so tight on the sword’s hilt that he could almost feel it dig into his skin. Labored breaths desperate to reel it all back in, reel back in that fire, that rage, and shuttered.

He’s okay. Just breathe. Slow, yes. Breathe. He loosened his fingers from shoulder and sword. He’s okay.

Comments

[blue_ice]

A good king. From what little Seto knew, Atem had had little chance to perform the role, but he carried it well. Like he was born for it.

And he could command attention so well, especially when he called Seto's name like that. The softer name sounded right to his ears, after all the years holding up walls.

Walls that came further crashing down with his touch. True, others had seen his marks, but only Atem's fingers brushed them. Gently, encouraging Seto to speak when ready.

He was ready.

"I'm sure you can guess," Seto started. "Gozaburo held me to the standard of perfection. I'd usually cover for Mokuba, or defy an order, and he...molded me into the ruthless heir he wanted."

[almukhtar]

He sacrificed himself for the greater good on the very first night he took power. The first time, at least. Before he knew all he had come to know; before he remembered what he really was. That his namesake wasn't based upon anything but was, fully and truly, a God on earth. Yet being a diety on earth, in flesh, is still different than when walking among them. There'd been much to learn.

Still was.

As for this... he allows those fingers to drop. "I find myself wondering if Yugi would find a way to be compassionate here even after everything that man had done to you and your brother." It took him several tries to reel back that wrath and find compassion for Bakura and even that was still difficult. "He has this ability, doesn't he?" A break. "But I can't seem to find it."

No, Atem feels rage. Oh, were he to ever see that man again. Face to face. Would he even have the patience for penalties or would he go straight for the head? Eyes look downward for a moment as if the confession might have been somehow shameful. That maybe he is not able to balm the wounds that may still be there. They lift, slowly. A raw true curiosity in his voice. "How do you feel about it now?"

[blue_ice]

That is...definitely not the direction Seto expected Atem to take. He sits with his thoughts for a few moments, watches the gaze dip down, lets the weight of the words settle on him.

The idea of Gozaburo being a figure worthy of sympathy or kindness repulses him initially. His motivation was to produce a strong heir, and he did so by suppressing Seto's humanity, molding him as one would a machine.

But it had worked, hadn't it? A little too well. And the business world that had come to shape them both was broken...now that he'd known the love of a father who could provide him nurturing and support, the idea that he'd sought Gozaburo's approval back then felt like a cruel joke.

"You know how vain I can be...but Yugi doesn't mind, and that's all that matters."

Too much information? Probably. He flashes the echo of a smile and moves on.

"As for Gozaburo. I'm sure he was molded the same way I was, and his father before him, and so on. In business, there's a widespread belief that you can't be human. It's weakness. I'm sure kingship is the same. What I feel for him now is...pity. He'd hate that, but I'm fine with it."

Another snort. He moves on, scooting close. They're nearly touching. But this is an intimate discussion, and his voice is barely over a whisper.

"I'd probably be angry if Yugi blindly forgave him, but I don't think even he would. He tries to understand and offer another chance. Like a gentler version of you. The second chances you give out are hell, literally. But you gave me the choice to save what was left of my soul, and I'm...grateful. So there's nothing wrong with a second or third chance, but some people are lost causes. The trouble's figuring that out before you're too deep in the effort."

[almukhtar]

He listens the whole way through. Lets every word permeate through the air. Thinks on reactions, and actions, and places to go next. What best to say and what best to remain silent. The thing is... and that is true that these things are always passed down, passed down, passed down. Generation after generation. Through environment or circumstance. Through necessity to survive or thrive. There's a litany of reasons but what catches his interest is... well, many things actually.

Well, he doesn't want to speak of the most important one. So he doesn't. Somehow, in their quiet exchange, they've managed to come quite close, and after a small inhale Atem takes a step back. Swallowing his heart back down his throat and to his chest again.

His mouth opens for a moment but promptly shuts. Perhaps its best to leave it here. Not... put more on someone who already experienced so much. Eyes rise and he forces a smile. "But how do you feel about it, Kaiba? About the memories on your skin."

[blue_ice]

That's right...he got so caught up in trying to ease Atem's burden that he never answered the question. He sits a little straighter, stretches his arms above his head, and feels the faint tug of the marks.

"I hate the ugly reminder that I was molded by him. Some damage can never be undone. But being damaged is no excuse to wallow in how hard I have it. I picked myself up, and every day I replace his legacy with my own is a small victory."

He reaches around to where he's laid the locket and brushes his hand over it. "And I never forget who I did this for. I'd endure more for him. Or Yugi, or..."

He's looking away all of a sudden. Huh.

"It's part of me. So I wouldn't erase them if I had the choice---I don't run from that."

[almukhtar]

Yes, this. This attitude, this person, this desire to break free and do better is the thing he began to see. The thing he became so exhilarated by. He'd been so infuriated by it once but over and over again the man continued to prove him wrong. That destiny could be what they chose and not what was given. He has grown, more than before and it made him feel... He sighed something that almost felt relieved.

A hand reached out to tip Kaiba's glance back toward him when it looked away. Many people ask 'but who will save the saviors?' Atem thinks, though, that Kaiba doesn't need to be saved. Doesn't need someone strong. He's already both. He needs someone to be kind.

"So many people only survive, and they spend the rest of their lives surviving. But you have thrived."

[blue_ice]

Surprise briefly registers on Seto's face as his gaze is turned. Don't worry, he's listening...his attention is fully on Atem, the words filtering through his ears and sinking deep into his heart.

He's never been one to suck up to others for approval, and yet...Atem's approval means the world to him. Seto's expression is soft, some of the premature aging from stress giving way to pure happiness. It's the kind of gentle expression that is probably a little alien on his face after so many years of anger.

Maybe winning the duel and reclaiming his crown wasn't what he wanted. Maybe...he simply wanted to impress this one king...no. His dear friend.

"Thrive with me," Seto challenges suddenly. "I know there are things you never got a chance to do. Relationships you never had. It might be a cramped train, but you have opportunities here."

[almukhtar]

Atem laughs, "and why do you assume I am not thriving?"

Sure, he has a lot of weight on his shoulders. A lot of things unsaid, secrets held, responsibility. Sometimes it feels like he's sinking but its not because of the duty he bears. This smile, though -- this expression, ah it was beautiful and his fingers clenched and curled just to keep themselves from reaching out to it.

"You want to see those you care for happy," he comments. "But I am happy to lead others, to have the duties I do." It felt like perhaps there was more to come after that but... he chose not to speak them. "It was a surprise at first but if I am needed here, then here I will be."

[blue_ice]

"So you are. But you can do more."

There's Seto, never satisfied. The familiar light of challenge sparks in his eye as he takes Atem in...radiant, stunning...but infuriatingly addicted to the leader loner thing. And that just won't do..

"Unless the Red leads choose you to succeed them, you're not going to be barking orders. We can prep for missions by training and purchasing supplies, sure, but that leaves a lot of downtime. Modern cooking. Terrible movie marathons. Pick-up sports. And..."

One more thing.

"I realized a while ago that I only played games to win titles. I never had...fun. Did you?"

[almukhtar]

Not always addicted to being the loner (though sometimes yes and certainly in some situations absolutely); most definitely addicted to being the leader. Addicted to the weight of his crown; of being able to save everyone. And he knows this well enough if his crossing arms and frustratedly called out expression didn't say it all.

"They wouldn't be able to handle me as leader anyway," he chooses to jest instead, lightening the mood of something that could be a much deeper topic. And to make this all the more comfortable, some friendly conflict. A finger pointing in toward Kaiba's chest. "Why am I learning modern cooking, why aren't you learning ancient cooking?"

That admission though. He's quiet a moment. Well, that truly was unexpected. "Sometimes," came a quiet admission. "What was once duel monsters was never meant to be fun, Kaiba. But other games, yes. Sports. I may surprise you." The smile was soft. "I was not a very orderly prince."

[blue_ice]

"Are you offering to teach me?"

Seto lets the lighter atmosphere fall over them for now---it's a welcome relief. He laughs and simply enjoys the moment for now.

"The others might not be able to handle your training, but I'm in. Learning from the best is one way to eventually surpass them, right?"

[almukhtar]

Hold on. Wait a moment. Atem stares at the man dumbfoundedly for a little longer before raising a hand and placing it over the other man's forehead.

[blue_ice]

Seto watches Atem, eager to hear about what they'll be learning (and what he can scheme to surpass him at). And then he blinks, looking baffled when Atem presses a palm to his forehead.

...Oh. He sees what's going on. And squirms, feeling more than a little self-conscious about what this suggests about how much he's changed.

"I haven't been replaced by a pod person," he grumbles. "Trying a new approach. So many ways to defeat you I haven't tried yet."

That is definitely what is going on. That and nothing else. That is definitely an awkward smile going on.

[almukhtar]

"Oh, is that it?" His hand drops and a laugh lifts out. "Trying to shock me with kindness. Well, I must say it's working."

But it was nice, it was comfortable to see that Kaiba he'd grown fond of still there. Resting comfortably beneath someone who had grown and not just grown but finally found some semblance of peace. He inhaled deeply, allowing all that to process. Even in the face of such an awkward smile which was, he's afraid to say, terribly cute. Which was not something he was going to let slide.

"Did you hear that?" Atem looks around. "I swear I heard glass shattering just now on account of that smile of yours. What other tricks do you have in your arsenal, I wonder?"

[blue_ice]

Seto has a few things to feel good about. His trick might get him somewhere. This attitude...it's nice, though the back and forths make it interesting. But most pressingly, Atem manages to disarm him by pointing out that he's...smiling?

Really? Like a fool. Seto's mouth immediately shifts into a thin line that resembles a pout.

"A duelist who wants to win doesn't play his cards face-up," Seto fires back, straightening his posture. It's embarrassing, but he can recover from this. He can still play Mr. Serious Hotshot Duelist.

"But we've barely scratched the surface of my deck. Or yours, for that matter. I'm not sure I believe you were ever unruly."

A teasing lilt in his tone there.

[almukhtar]

Oh, right back to the old ways are we? That made it all the cuter. He wanted to say many things in this moment. Watching Kaiba straighten his back and slide back into that old visage. He wanted to say... how nice it was. That he liked both sides, that both sides were good, that learning to be vulnerable is strength -- but Atem doesn't.

Instead, he fires back. "And you know much about winning, Seto Kaiba. But not about winning against me." The words have Atem moving forward again, eyes finding those deep blues. "You were always so well guarded, but I'm seeing a few new cards as of late. Let's see how much you can shuffle through mine."

[blue_ice]

Moments like this just confirm that Atem is an expert at seeing through him. Seto finds his face heating up with that moment of eye contact, but he won't look away. This...sitting together as equals, enjoying each other's company, was all he wanted. Now he just needs to take advantage of it and learn something new.

"So let's see...I'm picturing you sneaking away from your palace in the dead of night, rounding up a few guards for a wild night on the town so you can see the stars or something. Maybe joining a few celebrations in town, dancing the night away. Helping the needy and tripping a thief or something like that."

And the mental image causes a smirk to flicker on his face.

"Does any of that sound familiar?"

[almukhtar]

He's... shocked, a little bit. Eyes fluttered as Atem's mind tried to process. Had be always been so easy to read? Seto had been bang on for the most part. A few details here and there but overall that meant little. He crossed his arms with a short huff. "So I see you've seen through me as well, though that's cute you think I'd bring some guards."

His smile blooms again as Atem lets his body ease back into the water, covering him all the way to his neck. The warmth working all the way into his muscles and bone. "They'd never have it. When I was prince, I'd sneak out with Mana or sometimes on my own. Not to town, but adventure among the pyramids and out into the deserts. When all of this happened again, that's when I went into town the older I became." There was a pause. "I wanted to see how my people actually live. What they really needed."

And yes, sometimes he became... swept up. In celebrations and the like.

[blue_ice]

Seto listens to all this with a pleased little smile. He's a bit too tall to sink in that far without taking up an unfair share of room, so he leans back and stretches his arms over the sides. His lower back still appreciates it.

"Clever. It's a mistake that's far too easy for rulers to make. Locking themselves up in a palace, or a tower...not only do the people under you suffer but."

He glances over at Atem, with the weight of a recent revelation.

"You start to lose yourself too."

[almukhtar]

"A lesson you have finally learned, I take it." What a shame being tall was. Eyes watched this whole scene with faint amusement coming to his lips. This was nice... to speak as equals, to speak of experiences from one leader to another. A moment of normalcy.

"It is the biggest mistake and it is the one that is always made. If not the greed for money and power, the ignorance of what your people truly wish for. I can only imagine in your time, though, the realm of politics far more confusing than it was in mine."

An invitation to talk more about the time that Kaiba was from, perhaps.