( open ) i am so high, i can hear heaven

[jingyeets]

Who: Lan Jingyi (jingyeets) & ( OPEN )
Where: Quiet Carriage; Garden Carriage; elsewhere in train carriages.
When: Merriment 16 to Merriment 21!
What: Arm wrestling; drunken/tipsy wanderings; memorial construction w/calligraphy/painting; etc.
Warnings: Alcohol consumption! Relationship discussions, including potential mentions of gay panic, depending. Will warn as applicable.

ready to rumble (closed to dennis)

Time on the train is a construct even more apparent than the time otherwise passing on worlds, when they're on worlds. He's only seen three platforms and two worlds, but there likely is another coming, and that's something nice to look forward to, assuming he gets to fly. He'd love to fly, he aches for it, having been minimal in application in the illusion world, and always caught and constrained on platform.

Anyway, that was for another day, and for tonight, he has other plans, involving Dennis, the unmarked bottle of alcohol he's ordered, and the two sauce sized ramekins. When he does manage to track Dennis down, he quirks up his brow, holds up both bottle and ramekins (go with him here, the teacups won't work right and no one has proper drinking bowls or cups in his opinion, and there's only so much alcohol in the bottle anyway). "Ready?"

For the talk they need to have, for the arm wrestling already promised, and for tiny, tiny shots of the best alcohol Jingyi could possibly have ordered from back home. A wine, technically... but don't be fooled. It's hard liquor.

arm wrestling and other shenanigans (ota, merriment 16)

Tipsy, Jingyi eases open the quiet car door, and makes a surprisingly upright drift throughout the train, made more chaotic by use of the transgates. For the most part, in human form, he can be found:

in the standard carriage, challenging anyone who feels like it to arm wrestling at the chairs facing each other over a fold down table where he will lose for any younger Voidtrecker who takes him up on it, and most the rest depending;

to the spa carriage where, after prodding at the ICP, he finds the tutorial video for massages and tries to nab a buddy for him to learn on (yes, while clearly inebriated, but don't worry, it'll be fine), after which he'll think going into the pool is the best idea. Which is the last time he'll be in clothing, after making sure no one around is... around, or asking them if they care; sometime in soaking in the hot water he decides he wants to swim, and ends up dragon, the fox-sized form he takes on capable of swimming sinuously through.

At some point he drags himself out and beelines in the air, bouncing himself off walls, ceilings, just about anything, aiming for an eventual stop in the Garden carriage, hoping to swim in the lotus pool there. He's hot.

memorial construction (merriment 16-merriment 21)

Starting from Merriment 16 onward, Jingyi can be found working on using spiritual energy to carve words into a stone in the garden; or sitting and using a bench to work on calligraphy of an odd alphabet that looks pointedly like something untranslated, shown on his SCA. He's using a calligraphy brush and black ink on paper to make sure he has the form right.

Only after he's finished perfecting that does he return to the stone, taking time in the days after to channel spiritual energy through his calligraphy brush to "carve" those letters into its face. He's taking quite a lot of time, because this is not the ideal way to do this (as far as he knows), and the concentration it takes is enough he gets through a few letters then stands up to walk around and be physically active, before returning to his work.

The day he finishes, he brings the censer he ordered and sets the first incense alight. To those who recognise the scent, it's clearly sandalwood based. Pressing his hands together before him, he says, "May you find what it is you're looking for."

On the stone, now automatically translated for all to read, it says:

'What is past I cannot reach again, and what is to come I cannot keep.
The candle has a heart—it too hates parting. In our place, it sheds a tear at dawn.
Dedicated to the Missing and the Lost.
You are remembered.'

wildcard

Hit me up OOC for a starter, or tag in anywhere on train with your own! Roommates, feel free to hit him up for shenanigans.

Comments

[flatteries]

He opens his mouth.

And then closes it again.

It's not, though, he wants to say, but he's figured by now that it's an uphill climb whenever he tries to convey it to someone. It's no longer his world. It's going to belong to a different Inigo, and he..

.. well, he'll belong nowhere.

Inigo shakes his head though. It's enough sharing of sadness, and mostly enough sharing of hopelessness. He doesn't want to think about his own potentially hopeless future, and he glances over at Jingyi, removing one hand from his mug of tea to gesture at the half-finished memorial.

"A-- Anyway.. it's why I can understand the pain of these lost worlds so well. Knowing all those people there died.. It just feels a little too close for comfort." Since it's so close to what his own future was like. "It's why I'm having a hard time putting them out of my head."

And that lead to this - Inigo talking about it with Jingyi, getting this idea of the memorial started in the first place.

[jingyeets]

It's enough of a silence and moment before he shakes his head that Jingyi sighs, setting his cup down in his lap proper. His hands come up, and he cups them together, twisting his torso enough to offer a seated bow to Inigo.

"I apologise for speaking on what I cannot know." It's not a thought exercise, and it's not something fixable. Not in any simple sense, though perhaps simplified, if one were to toss most braincells to the wind to not worry about it. Live like the birds, who were alive and eating and scrounging day to day, or gone.

His hands lower, and he lets his shoulders drop, looking back toward the memorial he's been working on. "I don't think it's something that should be easy... and you've more reason for it to have meaning than most."

He picks up his tea again, taking a long sip, eyes briefly closing. In memory, immortality. In the end, all they left behind were their stories, for as long as those stories had a place in the worlds.

[flatteries]

"Don't apologize to me." It comes out of his mouth quickly. Not harshly, though. Inigo doesn't seem angry or annoyed - there's still that little sad smile on his face, after all. It's more just that-- "There's no need to."

Inigo doesn't expect anyone to be able to grasp his full situation. It doesn't matter though.

"If anything, I'd rather have people not know. So they won't have to feel sad while thinking about me, or so they won't have to worry about me."

It's why he often keeps this story to himself. Most of the people on the train don't even know this about him - even the people he's known for a long time. There's only been a few who got all of this, and usually just because Inigo had no way to weasel himself out of telling them.

He sips his tea, before returning to holding the mug with both hands.

"I just didn't want to lie to you either." Hence why he just told Jingyi all of this in the end.

[jingyeets]

"If I'm speaking on things I cannot know, and I trespass, then the apologies are needed. You don't have to accept them," he says, easy in the speaking. "But they're owed from me, either way."

He ends up lifting his eyebrows and then looking ceilingward, sighing after a moment. Sighing out for a long moment, setting his tea back in his lap. It lets him loop an arm over Inigo's shoulders, tugging him in gently because of the tea he's also holding, after that sip.

"Thank you for not lying. I appreciate it. Lies are annoying, even when they're socially polite."

He knows there's a worth, he just doesn't believe in it anymore than his clan espouses. (His clan, peak at lying by omission and redirection, on the other hand. A skill Jingyi is not the best at because he tends to let everything out that he can.)

"Inigo? Friends worry about each other. That's normal for me at least, maybe it's not for everyone." He doesn't know, and he's tired of trying to guess. "But if you're worried about me thinking of you and going, oh no, Inigo is a sad person to think about, nah. It's sad what you've had to deal with and live with, yeah, and even here, you've got a lot weighing on your heart. So? You are not sad to me. You're a survivor, for better and worse, and someone I respect. You're worth worrying about for the things we deal with here. Including the reminders."

A jerk of his chin toward the unfinished monument, the words half carved into stone.

[flatteries]

See, this is exactly why he didn't bother to try and avoid the topic around the other - exactly because Inigo just knew Jingyi would say something along the lines of 'lies are annoying.' It seems like such a Jingyi thing to say.

But rather than remark anything about that, Inigo just focuses on the way he's pulled in. Cue him carefully trying to angle his mug in such a way that it won't spill, even as he leans into the sideways hug, leaning his head on the other guy's shoulder. (Sure, putting the mug down like Jingyi did would be easier, but that implies Inigo has more than two braincells to rub together about this matter.)

".. I guess nothing could really get you down in the first place, huh, Jingyi." He seems strong like that. Maybe that's exactly why it's easier for him to think of Inigo's situation and not feel down in the dumps over it. To not fuss about it so much. "I mean.. yes, worrying is normal for everyone."

Even if some people might do it more (Inigo) and some people (Jing.. yi..?? Though Inigo is sure the guy's got his own worries) might do it less. Or have better coping mechanisms, who knows.

"But I don't want to be the drop of water that's going to make someone's worry bucket overflow. There are so many people here on the train who already handle so much."

[jingyeets]

There are benefits to seeming cut and dry and definitely being more direct than most. Probably? Is this a benefit, or more of a side effect or consideration of collateral damage...

He snorts, but half-smiles, jostling Inigo a little while aware of his balancing act with the tea. Too easy to send it jostling and spilling over one or the both of them, and then he'd probably end up upending the rest of his tea into his own lap.

"Of course some things can, they just haven't so far." He won't let himself spend time worrying overlong about what he can do nothing about, and sadly, that's so much of everything here it's overwhelming in a whole other way. He sighs, tightening his arm and tail around Inigo's side. "I get it, I do. As long as you don't just lock all of it away or whatever, afraid of being too much for friends who care about you. Shared burdens are lighter ones, so... thank you for sharing."

we can probably wrap it here?

[flatteries]

There's a lot of things Inigo could say here, but a lot of it feels like excuses, even though they're really just explanations. Isn't the bottom line that he's trying? That he's at least a little bit better than he used to be, back home?

He releases a breath rather than any of those words, and he smiles a little bit, still leaning against Jingyi - rather enjoying how curled up they are right now, thanks to the other's clever tail usage.

"And thank you for listening."

aaand wraps it with a bow!

[jingyeets]

Jingyi makes a noise of acknowledgement, and lets his chin rest on the top of Inigo's head.

"You're welcome, anytime." And with a soft snort, only soft because he's not trying to be loud and isn't caught off guard, "Even if I won't always get things at first, I do when you explain. So, yeah. Shared burdens, like friends do."

Even when things aren't always about the world ending heavy stuff, sometimes? Sometimes they are, and that's okay too.