voidtreckerexpress | How about if I just hide

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How about if I just hide

Who: Little One and People
Where: Around the Hire carriage and other locations
When: Between day 13 and day 22 of Merriment
What: Little One hired the fancy carriage for a week and blew over a hundred points on junk food snacks because that was easier than processing anything that happened on the last mission.
Warnings: Child assassin stuff might come up, sickness mention in last prompt

[Before the Platform. Closed to roommates if they want.] Once she had made her way to her room after the mission she hadn't left. She had enough stashed food to not need to leave her bed except to go to the bathroom, always when she could hear no one out in the corridor. Most of the train had been sleeping then, all exhausted from saving everyone and so she could pretend to be as well. To hide under the blankets and pretend to sleep.

She hadn't slept though, not properly. Only when the train forced it. Instead she had thought a lot. Memories that weren't hers, memories that belonged to Buttercup Sanzo mixed with memories that were her own.

It was stupid, she hated it all. It had all been fake, that world, a family, friends, a world where she was not only liked but also powerful.

That wasn't for her. She was not Buttercup Sanzo. She wasn't even Buttercup. That was just a name Tony had given her. Over a year ago. A name she had started to almost think about as her own.

But it wasn't. It wasn't hers. She had no name. She didn't have a family. Her sister was gone and for what? She had obeyed orders to prove herself, to show that she was loyal to the shadow god but then she had been whisked away to this train. She had broken every rule. She barely prayed anymore. She hadn't killed anyone. Monsters yes. People trying to end worlds yes. She had stabbed people she knew, when she had been Buttercup Sanzo and she felt bad for that.

She shouldn't feel bad about that. It was what she had been made for. A hand to hold a dagger, a soul to do the shadow god's work. But then this train. This stupid train had torn her from all of that and put her in this place with people who were so Good and yet nothing like she had been taught they would be like. They cared for each other. They loved, they argued, they threw their everything into saving strangers on distant worlds and she did too.

They saved her when she got into trouble. They fed her sweets and they asked nothing in return. They gave her no orders outside of combat. They taught her. She hated them all and yet deep inside she knew it was a lot more complicated than that.

But as complicated as all that was she had at least gotten used to it this last year. That city had been something else.

A father. A brother. Knowing that even if she messed up she would get to be part of their family. Just thinking about it made her furious. Was it possible to be jelous at a fake version of yourself?

Because the more she thought about it the more she hated Buttercup Sanzo. But more than any of that she hated that it had been done to her at all. That her mind had been twisted. That she had gotten stuck and even attacked those she knew.

So she lay and she fumed and pretended to sleep.

[Day 16 and Beyond. Hire carriage corridor] Curiosity had her leave her room. Platform days were always interesting. People arrived. People left.

She watched those that walked away. She knows a couple of them but one she knows very well indeed.

Priestess Lightning. She had met her on her very first day. Back when there had only been ten of them. Now there was just... Eva and Peter. They were all who were left.

She couldn't cope with this. It was too much. She didn't even want to be in her room anymore. Didn't want to see anyone. The train was bustling, people felt better and new people were arriving. She didn't want any part in this.

She found her way to the hire carriage, she had lots of points. She was good at this job even if it was not one she had chosen. She put in the information and paid the points for a week. There. She could hide here.

It had an ICP with access to all the films in the cinema and so that was perfect. Horror films were a good way to de-stress.

As were sweets. Through the next few days the only times she could be found was when she snuck down to the nearest shop terminal to buy some sweets or chocolate or a bottle of fizzy drink.

[Day Nineteen, throughout the train.] By day nineteen she felt a bit more confident to do a supply run. She aimed for late at night when most people should be asleep.

Library first, to nab a couple of books, some magazines. Horror films were great but her mind wouldn't settle, she needed more things to stop it from thinking.

Another run to the shop, more sweets, more chocolate. The game room to grab a pack of cards.

Last stop kitchen. She grabbed cheese and biscuits. Any cakes that she could nab. Never all of anything, one here, one there. She wanted hot milk and honey... She glanced around. It was quiet now so hopefully she would have enough time to make it, before anyone walked in.

[Day Twenty One, Medical]

She had woken up when the train had returned her to bed with stomach pains so bad she just wanted to curl up and scream. She had curled up, tried to watch a film. But she hurt too much, she felt like she wanted to throw up. But she couldn't.

She couldn't be sick. Even safe inside here where she was bothering no one. Being sick made her useless and though she couldn't argue that watching films for the last few days had been useful... She knew that if needed, she could have left. If ordered she would be ready.

But if she's sick. She can't. But being sick on the train isn't like being sick in Gauig. They have medicine here. She knows very little about medical but soon she is on a quest, to sneak in and grab what she can.

Sneaking into the medical carriage is a lot harder than getting into the kitchen, but she moves quietly, stays low and makes no sound even as she feels terrible, her stomach roils and she wants to cry out.

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"No." She lied, wrinkling her nose at him.

"That did be being a stupid place. We do no be talking about it again."

Finished. Done. That mission might as well have not existed.

The wrinkled nose was so cute. He smiled at her. "All right, we won't talk about it. So, what books are you finding? I guess that's one way to deal with insomnia, get a book and go and read it somewhere."

"I do be liking horror books." She scowled at him.

"There do no be being enough. But did you be reading 'In this House you may Scream'? That do be being the best one."

It was unlikely he had read it, because she had it on near permanent loan.

The scowl was cute, too! "Horror stories? I guess the train would have some in its library if people were asking for that. If there aren't enough of them, you could make a request of the train? It might listen and add more horror titles."

He grinned. "I haven't read In This House You May Scream. What's it about? And are there any other horror books you are looking for?"

Edited 2021-08-11 04:51 (UTC)

"It might be being. I could be buying more." She has points after all. Even after her sweet buying spree.

"It do be being in a world where you can be putting peoples souls... their brains into a stone. And when people do be doing crimes their punishment do be being to be put in rocks. So the story do be being about people who did be having that happen to them even though they did no really be doing bad crimes and now they do be learning how to be being in society again. It do be being really good."

She scuffed her toe across the floor. "I do be liking stuff that do no be being for babies."

"Do you have enough points to buy more? If not, I'd be willing to spend some of mine." He has points, too!

"That sounds very spooky -- injecting people's souls into stone. You say it was about people who were punished in that way even though they hadn't committed any really terrible crimes? That sounds unjust, but if they eventually got out of the stones and were allowed to re-enter society, then at least they had their freedom. You think it's a really good book? Maybe sometime I'll read it."

And the scuffing toe was adorable, too! "I can understand your not liking books that are for babies. When I was growing up, I read all sorts of stories in books that were for adults. My father and my grandfather had great libraries. Do you like anything besies horror literature?"

"I do be having points." She glared at him. Hating how nice he was. How nice everyone here was. How quick they were to do nice things for her. She doesn't want that.

"You should be reading it." She told him and her scowl deepened as he talked of fathers and grandfathers and libraries.

She shrugged. "Dunno."

He smiled back. He had no concern about the glare, since he had been a difficult child himself, and his brother Maglor was an expert at keeping the connection going between them, even when little Curufin tried to shut it down. Curufin had learned a great deal from him. "Okay, then you won't need my points."

He nodded. "I will read that book. Just let me know when you return it to the library, and I'll go and check it out."

He tilted his head curiously. "You don't know if you like anything besides horror literature because you haven't read anything but that? Or you've read other kinds of books, but you didn't like them?"

No she wouldn't. She didn't need anything from him. Or anyone. She nodded and then wrinkled her nose.

"I will be telling you and I did no be reading all that many other stories yet. So I do no be knowing."

Poor Little One. Somehow she had been detatched from human relationships, and these might have nurtured her. But she was every bit as stubborn as Curufin had been as a child, and she would not let anybody in, for the most part. Curufin remembered skating with her, many, many months ago when the train gave the passengers the opportunity to do this. That had been an enjoyable connection.

"Ah, I see. So, who knows, you might find some kind of literature that you do like. Just not baby stories!"

"I might be being." She wrinkled her nose. As much as she hated everyone right now Curufin wasn't a totally stupid person. She had enjoyed talking to him in the past.

She tilted her head at him. "What books do you be liking?"

And Curufin had likewise enjoyed talking to her!

"I like books of poetry and song. And I like books of history, but that's provided that they are written by people who are thoughtful and honest about what happened and don't make ridiculous excuses for abuses and disasters that could have been prevented. And I like stories of a certain kind, tales of how people accomplished difficult tasks and solved problems that seemed insovable."

And then he smiled, remembering. "And I like it when people tell me stories of their childhood adventures. Not as children's stories, but as stories told to entertain or enlighten both children and adults. I have a few good ones of my own, actually."

Poetry, history and tales of how people accomplished difficult tasks. None of those sounded too stupid. Also childhood adventures, but not stories for kids.

She wrinkled her nose. "You did be having adventures when you did be being a kid?"

He had been a child? She knew logically that of course he had been. Every adult she knew had been small once. But it is hard to imagine.

"I did! I had SO many adventures! I lived in a beautiful city called Tirion, along with my parents and my six brothers. My six cousins all lived nearby with their parents. So, I had lots of companions. Tirion was placed on a hillside in a great cut through the mountains, and there was a great forested ravine below the city. The sea was not too far away, either. I used to explore all the parts of the natural environment, and the neighborhoods of the city, too."

He grinned. "Once me and my brother Celegorm met a unicorn while we were climbing up the nearest mountainside. That's one of my favorite adventures."

She sighs and sits down as he starts talking. She knows him well enough to know this story will probably be long. And she doesn't mind. It's something else to think about and it means she doesn't have to talk.

Six brothers sounded a lot. Six cousins... She's not sure what a cousin is but she can guess it is some kind of family. She tries to imagine the city on the hill with the mountains and the forest and the sea. It sounded like it had everything.

Including unicorns... "What do a unicorn be being?"

He smiles and shrugs when she sighs. "Sorry, I know I talk too much. I love to describe things and to tell stories. I'm a poet, though I'm not anywhere near as good as my brother Maglor the Bard. It's in the blood, I guess."

The city on the hill did have everything! It was the perfect place for a child of Curufin's temperament to grow up.

"A unicorn is an animal that looks a lot like a horse with a long, flowing mane, except it has a long spiraled horn projecting from its forehead. Unicorns are usually white, as this one was. Want to hear the story?"

Only Curufin could use so many words to apologise for talking too much. But she nodded at the description of a unicorn. A horse with a horn, usually white.

"Yes please."

Hopefully it wasn't a stupid one.

ROTFL that! Guilty as charged.

"There was a big difference between the southern part of the mountain chain and the northern part. The southern part was inhabited by many strange creatures that tended to wander up the slopes from the darkest part of the continent. Some of those beasts were pretty dangerous. We children weren't supposed to go up there without an adult with us. But Celegorm and I oftne did things we weren't supposed to do. And one evening we decided to walk down to the ravine, cross the stream at the bottom, climb up the opposite slope, and take the path up a mountainside and climb up to the ridge and then explore the other side."

He smiled at the memory of that adventure.

"That was the first of the southern peaks we were headed for. So, we went. The sky got darker and darker as we climbed, and though we had some light-jewels with us -- that is, Elven flashlights -- we were still going into a region that was very dark indeed. The stars weren't bright enough to light our way. We reached the top of the ridge and started walking along it, looking for a path down into the valley below. But suddenly, we looked ahead and there was a very strange creature indeed! It was a Manticore, which has a bull's body and a human head. Celegorm and I looked at each other, a bit worried. And then it pawed the ground, snorted its rage, and charged us."

He made a humerous scared face. "We turned and started to run. And we were fast, since running was one thing we did often. But not fast enough. The Manticore was gaining on us. We might have been hurt or killed, but suddenly, a white light shone at the top of the rise. We looked back and saw a unicorn! And the unicorn saw us and the Manticore chasing us. She, too, snorted and pawed the ground, and then started chasing the Maniticore."

He smiled at Little One. "The story's not over yet. I'll tell you the rest if you want to hear. It has a funny ending."

She's not sure whether to be derisive at how disobedient he had been as a child or impressed by how he had gone into dangerous places such as that.

Light jewels makes more sense as a concept than flash lights but she nodded. Very dark, even stars didn't help. A manticore. Bulls body and human head, sounded weird.

She nodded, "Yes, be telling it."

She wants to know if the unicorn killed the manticore.

He wouldn't have minded if she had been derisive about that disobedient young Curufin. He'd have laughed and agreed.

"So, the unicorn was chasing after the Manticore, and she was pretty fast. She got almost close enough to stab him, but he looked behind him and saw that he was in real danger and started to run twice as fast. His hooves clattered on the rocks with a heavy, thumping sound, and the unicorn's hoofs skittered with a much lighter sound. He disappeared into the darkness of the valley on the far side, and she never did catch up with him. She came running back after a while and stopped on top of the slope and peered down at us. 'What were you little Elvish twerps thinking of?' she demanded. 'You could have gotten yourselves killed!'"

Curufin grinned. "We stared at her and didn't answer. And then she snorted and ran down the slope and chased us down the same path we had come up. We were afraid of that horn, and so we didn't tarry. We ran like hell. Once we were down near the ravine, she stopped and called to us, 'Don't go up there again. There are worse things than the Manticore in that darkness, and you would surely grieve your parents if you never came home. Go now! Go home! MOVE!'"

Curufin shrugged, still smiling. "We said, 'Thanks for saving our good-for-nothing lives!' And we grinned at the unicorn and started down the path into the ravine. She snorted again and added, 'I'll kick your worthless little asses if I ever see you up here again.' We responded with salutes and smiles, saying, 'We promise!' Of course, our promises were worthless, but we stayed away from that area for a while, anyway."

He wriggled his eyebrows in a humorous fashion. "Years later when I told that story to my brother Maglor, he said that the unicorn wasn't just a unicorn, it was Yavanna, the Earth Goddess of the Elves. She was reputed to be good-natured, but I guess encountering wicked little Curufin and Celegorm was enough reason for her to become a little bit stern." He laughs.

So the Manticore had lived but the unicorn had gotten mad at Curufin and his friends. Quite rightly since they had been disobedient!

The unicorn sounded like she didn't take much nonsense from silly elves. But then the unicorn was a god? She blinked at him.

"You did be being told off by a goddess?"

Curufin wouldn't argue about the rightness, since he knew very well that he had been a little rascal.

"Apparently. That's if Maglor was right, and the unicorn was just one of Yavanna's many forms. He spent more time interacting with the gods and goddesses than I did, so I guess he'd know."

"Maglor did be talking to gods a lot?"

Like that was just a normal thing to do. She raised her eyebrows. "Well you did be being lucky, that you did be surviving that manticore. You do be owing that goddess a lot."

"I think Maglor was more amenable to communicating with the Powers than I was. And they loved his music. Of course, being a smith myself, I occasionally talked to the smith god Aulë and even was invited to his feasts along with my father. But other than that, I kind of avoided the gods. Especially the Death God, Mandos."

In Aman, it was a normal thing to do, talking to the gods. "And you're right, I do owe Yavanna a lot. Even though she chased us down the mountain and scolded us, she did save our lives. I never thanked her in that world, but she was there in the next world I lived in for a while, and I thanked her then."

Just going to feasts with gods, as if that were normal. Maybe it was normal in his world. What a strange place. They had a god for smiths and a god of death.

"You did be going to another world? Like the worlds we do be going to? And your god did be being there?"

She has so many questions.

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cw: mentions of trapped consciousness horror tropes

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