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voidtreckerexpress2021-08-09 08:52 am
knifewithnoname) wrote in voidtreckerexpress2021-08-09 08:52 am
How about if I just hide
Who: Little One and People
Where: Around the Hire carriage and other locations
When: Between day 13 and day 22 of Merriment
What: Little One hired the fancy carriage for a week and blew over a hundred points on junk food snacks because that was easier than processing anything that happened on the last mission.
Warnings: Child assassin stuff might come up, sickness mention in last prompt
[Before the Platform. Closed to roommates if they want.] Once she had made her way to her room after the mission she hadn't left. She had enough stashed food to not need to leave her bed except to go to the bathroom, always when she could hear no one out in the corridor. Most of the train had been sleeping then, all exhausted from saving everyone and so she could pretend to be as well. To hide under the blankets and pretend to sleep.
She hadn't slept though, not properly. Only when the train forced it. Instead she had thought a lot. Memories that weren't hers, memories that belonged to Buttercup Sanzo mixed with memories that were her own.
It was stupid, she hated it all. It had all been fake, that world, a family, friends, a world where she was not only liked but also powerful.
That wasn't for her. She was not Buttercup Sanzo. She wasn't even Buttercup. That was just a name Tony had given her. Over a year ago. A name she had started to almost think about as her own.
But it wasn't. It wasn't hers. She had no name. She didn't have a family. Her sister was gone and for what? She had obeyed orders to prove herself, to show that she was loyal to the shadow god but then she had been whisked away to this train. She had broken every rule. She barely prayed anymore. She hadn't killed anyone. Monsters yes. People trying to end worlds yes. She had stabbed people she knew, when she had been Buttercup Sanzo and she felt bad for that.
She shouldn't feel bad about that. It was what she had been made for. A hand to hold a dagger, a soul to do the shadow god's work. But then this train. This stupid train had torn her from all of that and put her in this place with people who were so Good and yet nothing like she had been taught they would be like. They cared for each other. They loved, they argued, they threw their everything into saving strangers on distant worlds and she did too.
They saved her when she got into trouble. They fed her sweets and they asked nothing in return. They gave her no orders outside of combat. They taught her. She hated them all and yet deep inside she knew it was a lot more complicated than that.
But as complicated as all that was she had at least gotten used to it this last year. That city had been something else.
A father. A brother. Knowing that even if she messed up she would get to be part of their family. Just thinking about it made her furious. Was it possible to be jelous at a fake version of yourself?
Because the more she thought about it the more she hated Buttercup Sanzo. But more than any of that she hated that it had been done to her at all. That her mind had been twisted. That she had gotten stuck and even attacked those she knew.
So she lay and she fumed and pretended to sleep.
[Day 16 and Beyond. Hire carriage corridor] Curiosity had her leave her room. Platform days were always interesting. People arrived. People left.
She watched those that walked away. She knows a couple of them but one she knows very well indeed.
Priestess Lightning. She had met her on her very first day. Back when there had only been ten of them. Now there was just... Eva and Peter. They were all who were left.
She couldn't cope with this. It was too much. She didn't even want to be in her room anymore. Didn't want to see anyone. The train was bustling, people felt better and new people were arriving. She didn't want any part in this.
She found her way to the hire carriage, she had lots of points. She was good at this job even if it was not one she had chosen. She put in the information and paid the points for a week. There. She could hide here.
It had an ICP with access to all the films in the cinema and so that was perfect. Horror films were a good way to de-stress.
As were sweets. Through the next few days the only times she could be found was when she snuck down to the nearest shop terminal to buy some sweets or chocolate or a bottle of fizzy drink.
[Day Nineteen, throughout the train.] By day nineteen she felt a bit more confident to do a supply run. She aimed for late at night when most people should be asleep.
Library first, to nab a couple of books, some magazines. Horror films were great but her mind wouldn't settle, she needed more things to stop it from thinking.
Another run to the shop, more sweets, more chocolate. The game room to grab a pack of cards.
Last stop kitchen. She grabbed cheese and biscuits. Any cakes that she could nab. Never all of anything, one here, one there. She wanted hot milk and honey... She glanced around. It was quiet now so hopefully she would have enough time to make it, before anyone walked in.
[Day Twenty One, Medical]
She had woken up when the train had returned her to bed with stomach pains so bad she just wanted to curl up and scream. She had curled up, tried to watch a film. But she hurt too much, she felt like she wanted to throw up. But she couldn't.
She couldn't be sick. Even safe inside here where she was bothering no one. Being sick made her useless and though she couldn't argue that watching films for the last few days had been useful... She knew that if needed, she could have left. If ordered she would be ready.
But if she's sick. She can't. But being sick on the train isn't like being sick in Gauig. They have medicine here. She knows very little about medical but soon she is on a quest, to sneak in and grab what she can.
Sneaking into the medical carriage is a lot harder than getting into the kitchen, but she moves quietly, stays low and makes no sound even as she feels terrible, her stomach roils and she wants to cry out.
Where: Around the Hire carriage and other locations
When: Between day 13 and day 22 of Merriment
What: Little One hired the fancy carriage for a week and blew over a hundred points on junk food snacks because that was easier than processing anything that happened on the last mission.
Warnings: Child assassin stuff might come up, sickness mention in last prompt
[Before the Platform. Closed to roommates if they want.] Once she had made her way to her room after the mission she hadn't left. She had enough stashed food to not need to leave her bed except to go to the bathroom, always when she could hear no one out in the corridor. Most of the train had been sleeping then, all exhausted from saving everyone and so she could pretend to be as well. To hide under the blankets and pretend to sleep.
She hadn't slept though, not properly. Only when the train forced it. Instead she had thought a lot. Memories that weren't hers, memories that belonged to Buttercup Sanzo mixed with memories that were her own.
It was stupid, she hated it all. It had all been fake, that world, a family, friends, a world where she was not only liked but also powerful.
That wasn't for her. She was not Buttercup Sanzo. She wasn't even Buttercup. That was just a name Tony had given her. Over a year ago. A name she had started to almost think about as her own.
But it wasn't. It wasn't hers. She had no name. She didn't have a family. Her sister was gone and for what? She had obeyed orders to prove herself, to show that she was loyal to the shadow god but then she had been whisked away to this train. She had broken every rule. She barely prayed anymore. She hadn't killed anyone. Monsters yes. People trying to end worlds yes. She had stabbed people she knew, when she had been Buttercup Sanzo and she felt bad for that.
She shouldn't feel bad about that. It was what she had been made for. A hand to hold a dagger, a soul to do the shadow god's work. But then this train. This stupid train had torn her from all of that and put her in this place with people who were so Good and yet nothing like she had been taught they would be like. They cared for each other. They loved, they argued, they threw their everything into saving strangers on distant worlds and she did too.
They saved her when she got into trouble. They fed her sweets and they asked nothing in return. They gave her no orders outside of combat. They taught her. She hated them all and yet deep inside she knew it was a lot more complicated than that.
But as complicated as all that was she had at least gotten used to it this last year. That city had been something else.
A father. A brother. Knowing that even if she messed up she would get to be part of their family. Just thinking about it made her furious. Was it possible to be jelous at a fake version of yourself?
Because the more she thought about it the more she hated Buttercup Sanzo. But more than any of that she hated that it had been done to her at all. That her mind had been twisted. That she had gotten stuck and even attacked those she knew.
So she lay and she fumed and pretended to sleep.
[Day 16 and Beyond. Hire carriage corridor] Curiosity had her leave her room. Platform days were always interesting. People arrived. People left.
She watched those that walked away. She knows a couple of them but one she knows very well indeed.
Priestess Lightning. She had met her on her very first day. Back when there had only been ten of them. Now there was just... Eva and Peter. They were all who were left.
She couldn't cope with this. It was too much. She didn't even want to be in her room anymore. Didn't want to see anyone. The train was bustling, people felt better and new people were arriving. She didn't want any part in this.
She found her way to the hire carriage, she had lots of points. She was good at this job even if it was not one she had chosen. She put in the information and paid the points for a week. There. She could hide here.
It had an ICP with access to all the films in the cinema and so that was perfect. Horror films were a good way to de-stress.
As were sweets. Through the next few days the only times she could be found was when she snuck down to the nearest shop terminal to buy some sweets or chocolate or a bottle of fizzy drink.
[Day Nineteen, throughout the train.] By day nineteen she felt a bit more confident to do a supply run. She aimed for late at night when most people should be asleep.
Library first, to nab a couple of books, some magazines. Horror films were great but her mind wouldn't settle, she needed more things to stop it from thinking.
Another run to the shop, more sweets, more chocolate. The game room to grab a pack of cards.
Last stop kitchen. She grabbed cheese and biscuits. Any cakes that she could nab. Never all of anything, one here, one there. She wanted hot milk and honey... She glanced around. It was quiet now so hopefully she would have enough time to make it, before anyone walked in.
[Day Twenty One, Medical]
She had woken up when the train had returned her to bed with stomach pains so bad she just wanted to curl up and scream. She had curled up, tried to watch a film. But she hurt too much, she felt like she wanted to throw up. But she couldn't.
She couldn't be sick. Even safe inside here where she was bothering no one. Being sick made her useless and though she couldn't argue that watching films for the last few days had been useful... She knew that if needed, she could have left. If ordered she would be ready.
But if she's sick. She can't. But being sick on the train isn't like being sick in Gauig. They have medicine here. She knows very little about medical but soon she is on a quest, to sneak in and grab what she can.
Sneaking into the medical carriage is a lot harder than getting into the kitchen, but she moves quietly, stays low and makes no sound even as she feels terrible, her stomach roils and she wants to cry out.
no subject
"I did no never be learning about choices." She said quietly. "I did no even be needing to be making them before I did be coming here."
It's been a year but it's still difficult. Having to decide and do things, guess what is the correct path.
no subject
He'd always had a uniform, even once he outranked those who would have previously dictated his other choices for him. He's wearing it right now.
"It's an... adjustment. But I'm confident you can make it... if you choose to."
no subject
She had never got to her own temple. "Yes it did be being like that, I did always just be doing what I did be being told."
And now she's being told to make choices. It's very difficult. "I do be being well trained though, so I can be trying." To adjust.
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"It's hard," Koumyou tells her, "but if that terrified little twerp could do it, I'm sure you can too."
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No offence. But he had been a baby. A baby who grew up to hold a piece of a god. So that was hope for baby twerps everywhere.
She could choose. But there was still much. He doesn't know her at all. She barely knows him. And...
"Devero did be telling me you do be being dead. On your world. You did be dying."
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And one he would make again without hesitation.
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Why would he make such a choice as that? That made no sense. No one wanted to die. People fought hard to stay alive.
That was why killing was dangerous.
no subject
And was torn apart. Targeting Koumyou himself would have never gotten that result, he was too powerful. Targeting his son, though, that was different.
no subject
Because he was his son. His family and he could not watch him be destroyed.
And that is the difference between them. That is the reason she can't... Her heart feels all tight and stupid again and she grits her teeth.
"You did be doing a big thing for him. You must have been loving him so much."
Was that what it took to love someone?
no subject
And it's so much progress, that he even clarifies that it's like this where he's from, and not necessarily just a universal truth. He's not completely certain of this, deep down, but. It's a start?
"One of us was bound to die gruesomely, and the other was bound to have to watch."
The gritted teeth isn't missed by Koumyou, as he watches her through the smoke of his cigarette.
"I chose Kouryuu. I chose him as an infant, and I chose him when I died. Choices are important."
And learning to make them is important.
no subject
"Love do be being dangerous." She had always known it, it had been proven but then... On this train she had began to think she might be wrong. People loved, people made friends so easily here. As if it were not dangerous at all.
He chose Kouryuu, and chose him again to live when Sanzo died. A big choice.
no subject
His cigarette is pretty much used up, so Koumyou puts the butt out and tucks it into his sleeve, before sliding his hands into his sleeves like he so often does. He looks away. "Some people are worth the danger... and the eventual pain."
Like Kouryuu. And Devero.
And before them, Tenkai and Goudai and the rest of the first squad, who had all been the closest to family he'd ever felt. His very first friends he'd ever made.
...Each an agonized smear of blood in his last memories of them. Each a brick of pain he'd used to build the wall that makes him so aloof and hard to know, now. Even though he's tried to cast muichi motsu -- hold nothing -- aside, he's still been changed by it.
He is the moon, and the moon is a cold and distant thing.
no subject
But she is not like him, he died for his family. She killed her own. And that's why this is dangerous. She's not stupid. She knows she would never be capable of hurting him. But he's good. He's a priest.
He's very capable of hurting her if he were to know her true self. Perception might be reality but no amount of mind tricks is going to make her anything near his own son. If he thought her a threat to people he cared about more...
This is why choice was stupid. Because there were more factors. Some people were worth the danger but...
She scowled, all her words bunched up again.
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no subject
It's too big of a choice to make now, in this corridor. It hurts too much. She doesn't like choices, she just wants to know what is best.
But she knows he is right. This is a decision she needs to make. On her own.
She sighed, "I will be thinking really hard."
And she would make her decision.
no subject
So, he asks next, "Where were you heading when you stepped out?"
no subject
Since she was pretty hungry. She had hoped to not bump into anyone and yet here she was.
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She could just stay quiet. She liked that idea. This was a much easier choice. She nodded and stepped closer to him.
no subject
If not, it's a simple enough trip to and from the kitchen, and he even remembers to munch on something himself on the way back.
no subject