Shadow Link (older) (
shadowcourage) wrote in
voidtreckerexpress2021-08-10 11:04 pm
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Entry tags:
We're trying so hard to get it all right
Who: Shadow Link, Clef, selected individuals
Where: Training Gym Carriage
When: Merriment 21
What: Emotional Drama
Warnings: Very emotional arguments that involve family.
Shadow knew himself. He had to know himself. If he wanted to be more than a shadow, he had to be aware of his own shortcomings and compensate for them so he could stay on the track that was important to him.
He had known for years Clef didn't understand that. Its why he had kept him at a distance on purpose. He couldn't risk someone being close who didn't understand that.
But he supposed the danger of trying to be a person is person things happened, like emotions sneaking up on you. It was unfortunate. It just meant he had to be more aware of his own feelings. He had to keep the hurt away from his heart.
But Link and Clef have never been able to talk and....
He couldn't stand Link being hurt more.
So he had to try something.
Which is why when he finds Clef during his exploration, he decides its time to try.
"Come with me," he said flatly, in a tone that isn't likely to listen to argument.
Where: Training Gym Carriage
When: Merriment 21
What: Emotional Drama
Warnings: Very emotional arguments that involve family.
Shadow knew himself. He had to know himself. If he wanted to be more than a shadow, he had to be aware of his own shortcomings and compensate for them so he could stay on the track that was important to him.
He had known for years Clef didn't understand that. Its why he had kept him at a distance on purpose. He couldn't risk someone being close who didn't understand that.
But he supposed the danger of trying to be a person is person things happened, like emotions sneaking up on you. It was unfortunate. It just meant he had to be more aware of his own feelings. He had to keep the hurt away from his heart.
But Link and Clef have never been able to talk and....
He couldn't stand Link being hurt more.
So he had to try something.
Which is why when he finds Clef during his exploration, he decides its time to try.
"Come with me," he said flatly, in a tone that isn't likely to listen to argument.
no subject
"How ya talk to LINK because me being a good brother fit yer world view," Shadow said. "But when it comes to me or things I know outside of that? Don't see a whole lot of that. And the thing about seeing someone differently from how they see themselves? It takes understanding how they see themselves and why. Because then ya can explain yer point and maybe they'll learn something new. Like Link did."
"But ya have never understood why I see myself the way I do. The fact ya didn't even pick up I don't need to breathe is telling of how much ya've paid attention to what I am and what that means. And as for that talking to ya thing? Yer still on that? Because last I checked, ya got that impression when I rejected ya when I was actively lying to Link and Zelda. And I explained that's why I was the way I was in the library. But of course. Of course ya were too obsessed with feeling sorry for yerself to realize that my aggression, in fact, had nothing to do with ya. And everything to do with the lies I was telling and the trouble I wanted to avoid," Shadow said, leaning forward, hair darker, eyes redder.
"Because if we're talking flaws, that's the big one, Clef. Yer egostical. If it doesn't have to do with ya, then clearly its wrong. I can't be doing things because I'm worried about others, its cause I hate ya. Link can't be leaving to keep me calm, its because he's abandoning ya. Things can't be different from yer world because why would it be? Thoughts ya hate can't be an intruder, because ya would clearly know it is. Thoughts that make ya despair can't be dark manipulations, no, its just ya losing hope, so ya might as well die right there," he said, voice a low, angry hiss.
no subject
Why did people keep accusing him of having an ego?! There was nothing wrong with understanding his own abilities and power and his own worth! But that didn't mean he saw things the way Shadow said he did! No more than anyone else, anyway! "I never said everything had to be about me, not once! And everyone has thoughts they don't like and argue with themselves! Why should I have thought that was manipulation? By questioning we learn and grow! And I am as allowed to be upset as anyone, aren't I? I work so hard to keep my temper in check, but now I'm not allowed to be upset at all? How is that any kind of reasonable!?"
no subject
"Ya don't have to say it, ya act like it. And if ya can't notice when there are weird thoughts, ya will never be able to resist mind control because the ones to fear are the ones who try to not be noticed. Not everyone is gonna go 'bleh, I control ya now,'" he said with a scoff. "And yer allowed to be hurt, yer allowed to be upset. Yer NOT allowed to put the responsibility of being in the situation on yer son. It was the person in control of Diagad and yer own inability to fight back, not Link."