Zagreus startles when Persephone clasps his hands in hers, but he clasps her hands back tightly with his own for just a moment, trying to give her a small smile. "You know I thought the avocado seed was simply going to grow another avocado? Ryo disabused me of that notion pretty quickly. Just goes to show how bad I am with plants. Didn't get my mother's touch on that one, I'm afraid. At least I got my cool green eye from her?" He quips nervously. Please, please take the avocado from this idiot, Persephone. He doesn't know what the fresh hell he's doing.
The prince nods quietly to her warning, and he listens. And listens. He doesn't even do his normal thing of interrupting when he has a question, instead tallying them down in the back of his mind for later. Much later, likely. She can't look at him, and it hurts, somewhere deep down in a place he can't really explain. And when she describes her guilt, guilt that he caused, it only twists in a more agonizing way. Tears begin to well up in his mis-matched eyes, but Zagreus blinks them away, not about to cry like a child in front of Sephe - his friend Sephe - on the off chance he tugs at her mothering instinct and only makes his list of impositions upon her worse.
"What is there to preserve?" Zagreus jokes back, though he winces almost immediately at how that might have sounded. "Sorry, that's... what I meant to say is, I'm Fated never to die permanently. If I can spare someone else from their death, why wouldn't I do it? I'd rather Thanatos have to stitch my thread together for the hundredth time than force him to cut the life threads of one, two, maybe even a half-dozen mortals at a time. Less work for him to do. And the mortals... they deserve to live as long a life as the Fates will let them, don't they? Before they spend an eternity in my Father's realm."
His fingers tighten on the hem of his chiton, and he quiets himself again until Persephone gets to the end of her feelings rant. He starts at the last comment, frowning and furrowing his brows for a moment, wanting to interrupt, but everything should be addressed in order. "That's... a lot, but it's good you got it all off your chest. I didn't know you had so much on your mind. It's..." He swallows against the lump in his throat. "... enlightening." The prince lets his words sit for a moment, knuckles still white against the blood-red fabric of his chiton. "First things first... I'm sorry, Sephe. I haven't apologized properly to you since I got here. One of my many failures, I guess." He laughs softly, but there's no mirth in it. "I'm sorry for placing expectations upon you that were unfair. I'm sorry for placing you in a position which you never wanted to be in. I'm sorry I tried to force my concept of how things should have been upon you. I'm sorry I made you feel guilty for my non-existence in your world... and I'm sorry for selfishly wanting to exist in your world, anyway."
The tears come back now, and a few of them fall. Zagreus releases her hands and quickly wipes the tears away with his forearm, not daring to let his emotions get in the way of words he should have said four months ago. "I've mistreated you since we first met, and you have every right to be truly, truly angry with me. But you've been so understanding, and-- and patient with me, and I've only taken advantage of your kindness. No apology avocado is going to do a damn thing to fix that. Gods, some 'friend' I am." He runs his fingers through his hair, sending laurels sparking into the air to dissipate, exhaling hard as he gets his emotions back under control, or as under his control as he could possibly get.
Now he's the one who can't bear to look at her, staring instead at the little avocado plant, its life thread so tiny he can't see it unless he focuses on it. "Sometimes I wonder, if... if maybe I had never been born, things wouldn't be... better off? Like your world, it's not stuck under eternal winter. Your Lord Hades sounds so much better than mine, but maybe it's for the best that you two didn't fall in love. Maybe it's better that you never become Queen of the Underworld. Maybe you can be just as happy living with Lady Artemis and Lady Athena on Olympus, or-- or run away across the sea and start a new life there, away from Lady Demeter's gardens. Maybe you can be just as happy living with Lord Hades, because he sounds way better than my Father ever could be. But maybe not. You certainly wouldn't have to deal with a little brat like me being born if you left all of our family's mess behind." He tries a smile, again, but it's weak and ineffectual.
"I'm... happy you're happy with Zetta, and I'm sorry I reacted so poorly to him. Despite how differently he and I seem to think, he makes you happy, and so I shouldn't judge him so harshly. I'm sorry for that, too. There's probably a lot of other things I should apologize for that I can't think of at the moment, so you'll forgive me if I table those apologies for another time? But you mean a l-lot to me, even without the parallels to my mother, and so I hope... I hope, at least, we can still be friends, even after the way I've made a right arse of myself since we first met."
His voice is beginning to give out, from the onslaught of confessions or the tears still threatening to fall he couldn't say. But Zagreus still has more to add, so he pushes through to the end. "And you're right, I am an idiot. I should have realized that Thanatos only thought of me as a friend, when I confessed. But that's on my shoulders, not his. He's not an idiot for feeling how he feels. Gods, I've got a lot to apologize for to him, too. I don't think I could manage it right now, but... soon. I should apologize soon. I don't deserve him, either, just like I don't deserve you."
Zagreus wants to hug her, to show her how much she means to him, but he doesn't move from his spot. He could never do anything like what Apollo had done, demand affection that he wasn't owed from this powerful, radiant Goddess. And so with a swallow to clear the dryness of his throat, he asks softly, "Can I... can I hold you? And kiss you on the cheek, maybe? If that's all right. I understand if you-- if you need time, or... space, or both."
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The prince nods quietly to her warning, and he listens. And listens. He doesn't even do his normal thing of interrupting when he has a question, instead tallying them down in the back of his mind for later. Much later, likely. She can't look at him, and it hurts, somewhere deep down in a place he can't really explain. And when she describes her guilt, guilt that he caused, it only twists in a more agonizing way. Tears begin to well up in his mis-matched eyes, but Zagreus blinks them away, not about to cry like a child in front of Sephe - his friend Sephe - on the off chance he tugs at her mothering instinct and only makes his list of impositions upon her worse.
"What is there to preserve?" Zagreus jokes back, though he winces almost immediately at how that might have sounded. "Sorry, that's... what I meant to say is, I'm Fated never to die permanently. If I can spare someone else from their death, why wouldn't I do it? I'd rather Thanatos have to stitch my thread together for the hundredth time than force him to cut the life threads of one, two, maybe even a half-dozen mortals at a time. Less work for him to do. And the mortals... they deserve to live as long a life as the Fates will let them, don't they? Before they spend an eternity in my Father's realm."
His fingers tighten on the hem of his chiton, and he quiets himself again until Persephone gets to the end of her feelings rant. He starts at the last comment, frowning and furrowing his brows for a moment, wanting to interrupt, but everything should be addressed in order. "That's... a lot, but it's good you got it all off your chest. I didn't know you had so much on your mind. It's..." He swallows against the lump in his throat. "... enlightening." The prince lets his words sit for a moment, knuckles still white against the blood-red fabric of his chiton. "First things first... I'm sorry, Sephe. I haven't apologized properly to you since I got here. One of my many failures, I guess." He laughs softly, but there's no mirth in it. "I'm sorry for placing expectations upon you that were unfair. I'm sorry for placing you in a position which you never wanted to be in. I'm sorry I tried to force my concept of how things should have been upon you. I'm sorry I made you feel guilty for my non-existence in your world... and I'm sorry for selfishly wanting to exist in your world, anyway."
The tears come back now, and a few of them fall. Zagreus releases her hands and quickly wipes the tears away with his forearm, not daring to let his emotions get in the way of words he should have said four months ago. "I've mistreated you since we first met, and you have every right to be truly, truly angry with me. But you've been so understanding, and-- and patient with me, and I've only taken advantage of your kindness. No apology avocado is going to do a damn thing to fix that. Gods, some 'friend' I am." He runs his fingers through his hair, sending laurels sparking into the air to dissipate, exhaling hard as he gets his emotions back under control, or as under his control as he could possibly get.
Now he's the one who can't bear to look at her, staring instead at the little avocado plant, its life thread so tiny he can't see it unless he focuses on it. "Sometimes I wonder, if... if maybe I had never been born, things wouldn't be... better off? Like your world, it's not stuck under eternal winter. Your Lord Hades sounds so much better than mine, but maybe it's for the best that you two didn't fall in love. Maybe it's better that you never become Queen of the Underworld. Maybe you can be just as happy living with Lady Artemis and Lady Athena on Olympus, or-- or run away across the sea and start a new life there, away from Lady Demeter's gardens. Maybe you can be just as happy living with Lord Hades, because he sounds way better than my Father ever could be. But maybe not. You certainly wouldn't have to deal with a little brat like me being born if you left all of our family's mess behind." He tries a smile, again, but it's weak and ineffectual.
"I'm... happy you're happy with Zetta, and I'm sorry I reacted so poorly to him. Despite how differently he and I seem to think, he makes you happy, and so I shouldn't judge him so harshly. I'm sorry for that, too. There's probably a lot of other things I should apologize for that I can't think of at the moment, so you'll forgive me if I table those apologies for another time? But you mean a l-lot to me, even without the parallels to my mother, and so I hope... I hope, at least, we can still be friends, even after the way I've made a right arse of myself since we first met."
His voice is beginning to give out, from the onslaught of confessions or the tears still threatening to fall he couldn't say. But Zagreus still has more to add, so he pushes through to the end. "And you're right, I am an idiot. I should have realized that Thanatos only thought of me as a friend, when I confessed. But that's on my shoulders, not his. He's not an idiot for feeling how he feels. Gods, I've got a lot to apologize for to him, too. I don't think I could manage it right now, but... soon. I should apologize soon. I don't deserve him, either, just like I don't deserve you."
Zagreus wants to hug her, to show her how much she means to him, but he doesn't move from his spot. He could never do anything like what Apollo had done, demand affection that he wasn't owed from this powerful, radiant Goddess. And so with a swallow to clear the dryness of his throat, he asks softly, "Can I... can I hold you? And kiss you on the cheek, maybe? If that's all right. I understand if you-- if you need time, or... space, or both."