[ Should one of the grooms really be playing usher? Probably not, but every other part of their planning has been unconventional. He straightens his suit and approaches. ]

Thanks for joining us. You can sit anywhere you want...

[ And because he's in such a good mood and he knows kids, and their patience (or lack thereof) for ceremonies, he adds in a playful voice: ]

We won't be long. I promise. And then you can raid the snack table.