voidtreckerexpress | Jan/Feb catch-all post

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Jan/Feb catch-all post

Who: Lan Wangji and friends! Friends of Wei Wuxian, and pretty much every passenger on the train, open to everyone, all are welcome
Where: The kitchen / dining room
When: Month of Domino, day 12, (Jan 23th to 25th)
What: Lan Wangji's birthday and Chinese New Year, Lan Wangji cooks and caters for everyone, this is also a mingle post
Warnings: To be added

I. The Dining Carriage/kitchen car
On the last days of the mission on the last world, it falls upon Lan Wangji to prepare for the grand feast that takes place once a year. He collected and stocked up as much food as he can from the previous world. It's his good fortune that this world has a supermarket, so he is able to find most ingredients he needs for his dishes.

Anyone passing by the Dining Carriage will see a grand feast that Lan Wangji prepared and laid out on the tables. From roasted chickens, hams, fish, vegetables, soups, rice, noodles, laid neatly on plates by type and based on the dishes of the east assembled on one table. On the other tables, cut-up fruits and mooncakes for sweets. Lan Wangji truly worked with what ingredients he found in the previous world.

If asked, Lan Wangji explains, "It's my birthday today and this week, there's a holiday where my people celebrate the New Year to bring good fortune and to invite wealth, wish the well-being of health and happiness of others. We feast a lot together as a family and if you like, you can help yourself and join us. I must admit, I don't have a lot of resources to work with, but this is what I came up. I did my best. I only wish to share this tradition with you."

II. Wildcard
[Lan Wangji's cooks a lot of food in the kitchen and dining carriage, so he'll be busy cooking and preparing as the host! Children will receive red envelopes from him, but there won't be any bills...but as a substitute, there's candies and chocolate.

This is a mingle post! All are welcome. If your muses like to bring a friend or certain parties, just indicated in your subject title "OTA" or make it lock to certain parties. If you put that in your subject title, I'll assume the muse is not speaking to lwj, but is open to other muses.

If you need me to throw up a lock starter or top-level, just shoot me a pm at plurk.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That set some tension into Bucky's jaw, but he pulled out the carafe and topped off Tony's mug. "I'm not the Winter Solder," he says, firm but not angry. "And I'd like very much to keep it that way," he eats another bite of mooncake, so he won't be tempted to pout.

He shrugs his shoulders a little. "Is there really a difference?" Wasn't a lab just another kind of workspace? "You should paint all the doors, share the privacy," he could think of a couple people he wouldn't mind meeting in such a convenient location.

Tony looked at him a moment with.. was that.. could that be an apologetic look? He looked down too quick for Bucky to get a good look (though perhaps not quick enough). "Right." He hadn't intended on insulting the man. It was just what he'd known him as long after the soldier probably hadn't deserved it any longer.

He was torn on that thought even after they'd pressed on to their next topic. He didn't want to admit it to himself or anyone else, but the hate was surprisingly hard to hold on to. It reminded him of when he'd seen his father and realized he could forgive the man.

"Hmm?" He looked up, a little belated. "Well, a lab is a laboratory. It usually has tools and chemicals and.. it's a pitiful excuse for a lab if it was one." He smirked, though not quite as brightly or easily as he had a moment ago, "I was thinking about that. The only problem with the paint is it is plant based and.. it kind of smells. I've been thinking about washing it off. Curtains would be a much better option."

Pause.

"Anyone I know?" He asked, trying to regain the banter they'd had before the Winter Soldier comment.

The tension fades quickly enough. Bucky's smart enough to know when he's being intentionally antagonized, and even though he's just pointed out a hot button, he's not terribly worried about it. Tony seems less and less petty the more Bucky gets to know him.

He wrinkles his nose when he learns about the paint, but it does get his brain mulling over it. Thinking over all the old solutions he and Steve used to come up with, back when they were kids. "Nah," he replies, lost in thought. "None of 'em have seemed particularly interested. Except the one that's playin' hard to get," and who knew if she was playing or playing? Certainly not Bucky. "What about papering the windows? Everything you need for glue is in the pantry, and it doesn't smell once it dries."

Bucky had the wrong idea. Tony was terribly petty! The most petty! So.. okay, well maybe he had grown out of that. Having a kid and losing someone dear to him would do that to a fellow. Getting Peter back alone would've been worth his life. Getting Peter and everyone who had vanished plus killing Thanos.. it was more than he'd deserved to accomplish, though he'd be eternally grateful.

He gives Bucky a look at that. "It doesn't smell that bad! It just has.. a slight odor. We don't exactly have a lot of material to work with." Huh, paper. That wasn't a terrible idea. "I have glue.. until recently we had limited paper." That got him thinking at least.

Although the other topic was more fun. "Really? So your pick up lines aren't doing it? Who's playing hard to get?" He hadn't noticed any of the ladies doing that before he got with Ignis. Of course, he hadn't been trying either.

He takes a sip from his coffee mug, emptying it. "The paper supply is less limited now?" he asks.

But then Tony has to ask and Bucky? Bucky's feeling more like Bucky than he has in a long time, and the words just kind of slip out before he can stop himself. "May Parker."

"I have my laptop." Doesn't that explain everything now? It should explain who was using all the paper at least.

Fortunately Tony had set down his coffee or they might be having a repeat of an earlier incident. However, Tony turns around to fully face the man and his gaze could kill lesser beings. "What?!" That one word was loud and full of venom.

Bucky chokes back a laugh, immediately lifting both hands, one with his half-eaten mooncake and the other his empty mug. "Woah, woah, it was a joke. I haven't even met her," he's trying, really hard, to keep a straight face. It's only kind of working.

Oh. Oh. Dammit, that had been a joke? What was he doing anyway? He was joking around with the man who killed his parents. He would never forget how it looked when he saw the video of that bastard strangling his mother.

Shaking his head, he stepped away from Bucky and a wave of nausea hit him. He felt the slightest tremor in his hand as he stormed off. He made the show of being just the angry asshole so many people here assumed he was, but he could feel the telltale sign of his chest tightening. He needed to get out of there fast.

Bucky swipes a napkin from the table, wrapping up what little was left of his mooncake and stuffing it into his pocket before following Tony. He knew his little joke hadn't landed that badly -- there was something else going on, something more.

And when he saw the tremor in Tony's hand, he thought he had a pretty good idea of what it might be. He kept his distance, enough that hopefully Tony wouldn't feel crowded, and waited until they were actually alone to speak. "You're okay," he said, in the softest voice he possessed. The same kind of tone he used when his younger siblings woke from nightmares. "You're safe here."

Tony slowed once the door to the kitchen was behind him and he wouldn't be seen if it opened again. This meant they were back in the store room, Tony put his hands flat on the back wall and leaned against it. He turned around when he realized he wasn't alone and winced, but he felt the tremor again.

"I'm not.. not quite that..bad yet. Caught it.." He was sweating though and there were edges to his vision that he knew beyond were memories he couldn't escape. "You're not.. supposed to see this." No one was, but least of all Bucky.

Bucky moved slowly, cautiously, and placed his flesh hand on Tony's shoulderblade. "I don't see anything," he replies, even though his first instinct is to joke that this is just really bad yoga. "You want me to grab you some water?"

This was humiliating on top of the awfulness that was these attacks. This one had sprung up almost out of no where. Usually there were triggers. As he glanced up at the man helping him, he realized where the trigger was too.

"Peter's trick.. fi-five things I see. Four things I hear.." He carefully pushed his back against the wall, slowly needing the assistance to stay upright. "Why couldn't you be the heartless, awful, evil person you were supposed to be? The person I could justify hating all these years. H- how could I.. I'm.." He took a shaky breath and gestured toward the kitchen. "I'm joking around with the man who killed my family."

Bucky's gaze drops to the wall, and he presses his mouth into a tight line as he works out the right thing to say. He knows he has to be careful or they're going to both end up in the fetal position.

"I am," he says softly. "In those moments, I was exactly that, and I hate him more than anything. Not Hydra, not the programming or the torture or the brainwashing. I hate what I did, with my own two hands," he swallows heavily, takes a slow, deep breath. "I was a monster, then. I looked him in the eye, and I did what I was told," his voice cracks, and he clears his throat roughly.

He has more to say, more he's desperate to say, but the idea of being overheard is too much. He doesn't look at Tony's face again, he can't bring himself to. "The lab's soundproofed, right?"

There was so much more he needed to say and a lot more that he needed to do to completely get the anxiety attack or whatever PTSD crap this was to release him. He was struggling and he hated that he was doing it in front of the man who should be his enemy, but wasn't for some reason.

He listened as Bucky explained the hatred on his end that mirrored so much of his own. It wasn't just the hate, but the anguish and the cracking voice and repulsion. He knew those words and that feeling too. It was what he experienced every time he thought of Sokovia. His hands were dripping with blood the same as Bucky's but he hadn't literally done it with his bare hands like the Winter Soldier had.

"Yes." He pushed himself off the wall and thanked god, it wasn't a long walk to his lab. He ignored everyone they passed by. He was pale and sweat beaded his brow, something haunted and angry about his expression. It took him a couple tries to get the lock off the door but then he was letting the man he wanted to hate into his sanctuary.

Edited (Because Hope is a dumbass..) 2020-01-29 03:57 (UTC)

Bucky followed, and waited until they were in the lab, both of them seated, before he spoke again. He tried not to touch anything, resting his hands on the table and scowling at them. "I know it won't make anything easier on you, but you deserve to know," he says softly.

"During the war, Howard worked closely with us, with all the Howling Commandos. He was brave and stupid and terrifyingly smart." His mouth twists into a grimace. "He was my friend." His hands curl into fists as he fights down the nausea, takes a deep breath to steady himself.

He knows what he's saying will make Tony hate him. It should. It should make everyone on this whole god forsaken train hate him. The tears burn in his eyes, and he can't even look away from the one little stain on the table that he's focused in on. There's nothing else in the whole world, until he says it.

"He knew it was me."

Ignis went looking for Tony because he wanted to share what he'd learned. Curiously the man was not in his usual spots and concern started creeping in. More checking around was in order and finally he thought he heard Tony's voice.

Ducking into the room, his green eyes spotted Bucky first which was fine. But what wasn't alright was the way Tony looked. The older man was far too pale and why was he sweating?

Ignoring Bucky for the moment, Ignis went right to Tony and kneeled down before him, taking the older man's hands in his. He knew the look by now, knew what this was. If it were up to him, he would escort his lover out of the room and put him to bed.

"Tony..are you alright?" He knew his boyfriend wasn't alright but he was trying to save the other's dignity.

However, picking him up and moving him wasn't completely out of the question.

It felt really confining to be in this room with Bucky, but he understood the rationale as to why this place was chosen. It was a good reason, even if it made his symptoms worse. He could hide it, he was almost sure of it.

Listening to what the soldier said had him sitting back like he'd been struck instead of those powerful, unforgiving blows to his father's face he'd witnessed. The man had known? He'd known who was killing him?

He'd thought he'd locked the door to his lab, but suddenly Ignis was there kneeling next to him. He looked at Ignis, but he wasn't seeing him. He was there again, on that road. He was feeling Bucky's fist and how it must've felt for his mother when he'd strangled her. He gasped out a breath, but he couldn't get any. Withdrawing his hands he smacked everything off the table, sending his laptop and all the papers flying. Striking the table, he let out a roar of frustration. He was getting light-headed. He gasped again, putting his hands on his throat. "Can't.. breathe.."

Bucky didn't even register that Ignis had entered the room. He was focused on that tiny little speck on the table, carefully regulating his breathing. Keeping his body calm even if his mind didn't stand a chance.

He jolted when Tony emptied the table, recoiling away and letting out a shaking gasp of his own. He pressed himself into the far corner and twisted his hands into fists, keeping his gaze locked on that single point. That little smudge on the table. It was the only thing in his entire world as he started to tremble.

For his part, Ignis had no idea what was going on. All he knew was that Tony got up and cleared the table. Next thing that registered was that the table made an awful groaning sound. For the life of him he wished he had some smelling salts or remedies handy, but wasn't even sure those would help in a situation like this.

He didn't even try to keep an eye on anything the other man in the room was doing, but would deal with him if he had to. Tony was priority and he unfortunately could barely breathe and was severely agitated, so there was no removing him from the room right now.

Springing into action, he pulled his lover's hands away from his own throat and pushed him back into the chair. The advisor would use force if necessary (but he really hoped he wouldn't have to!) to keep him there.

"Tony I need you to breathe and relax." Or so help him he would practically wrestle the man to the ground and sit on him.

Telling the knight to do that, Ignis spared a glance back at Bucky who looked scared. Silently he promised the man he'd try to help him next. First, calm Tony down and get him the hell out of here, or at least calm him, then look after Bucky.

He wanted to fight! He wanted to bash in Bucky's skull! Not this one though, the one from those memories. Somehow he still knew the difference even while everything else just seemed unreal and awful.

Abruptly, he found himself shoved onto the chair and Ignis' voice breaking through his memory. Blinking, he slowly made out his boyfriend's frantic face. He felt the fear jolt through him like a bolt of electricity. Worry for the other man ironically helped, even if he was the original cause of the fear he was seeing.

He needed a little more prompting, but then he felt the air coming back to his lungs. Five things he could see. Ignis, Ignis' glasses, his cute nose, his lips, his cheeks. Four things he could hear. The pounding in his ears. Ignis' voice. His panting. Okay, close enough. He was breathing.

Oh, he was exhausted. He finally looked somewhere other than Ignis' face and frowned when he saw Bucky. "W- what's.. " He couldn't get out the rest as he needed all his concentration on continuing to breathe.

Finally he felt like Tony was seeing him and inwardly Ignis breathed a sigh of relief. And it wasn't until his lover looked at Bucky did he believe that the other man was coming around. He really wanted to hug his lover, but the man needed air so he gave his knight a kiss on the forehead.

"Anthony Edward Stark focus on breathing, stay with me." His voice had turned somewhat stern but that was because he was so afraid to lose the one thing he couldn't live without. He took the older man's hands in his and kissed the knuckles, something, anything to try and keep this man together and in one piece. Then he lifted a hand to gently touch the rugged handsome face.

Because once he accomplished Tony being stable, Bucky was next.

The sweet touches and kisses were helping him feel safe and gave him time to find his natural breathing rhythm again. Something horrible had just happened, but Ignis was here. He could handle anything if the younger man was at his side.

He nodded finally. "I'm.. I'm okay. He just.." Oh no, he couldn't do that. Nope. Backing up. He shook his head and waved his hand, like swatting the thought away. "Still fine. Just.. help him."

"No you're not fine." Ignis stubbornly insisted. "And I will sit here with you as long as I must until I'm fully convinced you're alright enough for me to tend to Bucky." Idly he wondered where Steve was, but he was the one here and there was no one else to help him. So tag, he was it. And that was fine, the advisor would definitely handle it.

"I'm helping you first because you are my priority." He knew Tony knew this, but he would repeat it as many times as it took to get through that hard head. "Just breathe and relax. You are safe, I am here and I won't hesitate to destroy anything that threatens or harms you."

At first Tony just looked frustrated at Ignis, but the point the advisor was making was- reluctantly- sinking in. He sighed and nodded his head. Thank god Bucky was too lost in his own psychological hell to witness this very obvious scene showing who really wore the pants in this relationship.

"You know you get awful cute when you get all bossy like that." When he smirked, the smile didn't touch his eyes very much, but he was trying.

Ignis finally smiled and gave Tony the gentlest of hugs. "I love you darling. Don't you ever forget that." At least if Tony was busting his chops, some of the danger had passed and they were on their way back to some form of normalcy.

Letting go after a moment, he pulled back and grinned at the gorgeous man in front of him. "You do rather enjoy when I get bossy." A hand lifted to touch the dark hair and the fingertips trailed down the side of his lover's face.

All the while, rescuing the man behind them was going through his mind.

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CW: PTSD/ Anxiety attack

CW: PTSD/ Anxiety attack

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