Down came the rain

[hashtagparkerluck]

Who: Peter && OPEN
When: All day of Day 21
What: Peter Parker and his A++ coping skills
WARNINGS: Potentially triggering subjects dealing with metal health, self blaming, past childhood sexual abuse, general anxiety, and dissociative avoidance.


{ A. }

Peter Parker is a smart boy. He might second guess himself a lot more than one might consider healthy but at his core he's a smart boy and he can put it use in the most unhealthy fashion. He knows the trick to hiding when you don't want to be found-you go to places people wouldn't normally think to look for you. Which is exactly what he's done. He woke up some time ago in his bed and quickly left the room as fast he could to hide away from-well everyone. He doesn't really want to be alone but he doesn't want to face anyone. He's hidden himself in the garden car-the air feels a bit fresher here and it's easier to hide. It's not the best hiding spot but it's unlikely anyone will think to look for him here. Or at least, he hopes.

He doesn't like the idea that people could see his dreams-if they could. Those dreams were weird-not out of the ordinary for him but the guest stars were odd. He doesn't even know if his hiding away is justified and just keeps his legs tucket against his chest. He feels exposed. How many people did he see in his dreams? How many know about Skip? How many know about Flash? He should make a public statement-stating that if Flash were to turn up that he's not actually that bad. He's a bit of a jerk but he's not cruel like he had been in the dream. But New arrival day is still aways off and for now he can just hide out. He hears someone coming and quickly moves to hide himself from view a bit better, still not ready to talk to anyone about the mess his life actually is.


{ B. }

Peter has no idea what time it is, but he's been sitting in the same place for far too long-he knows this because his joints are starting to ache. He stretches his legs out a bit-he's been listening to the intercom-listening to people talk and figures they all had weird dreams. Now he really doesn't want to come out of hiding. There was so much in his dreams he'd rather no one had known about. He was always so flippant about getting picked on at school-painting it off like he just didn't really care about getting bullied. He sorta doesn't but he sorta does. He considers that maybe he should get up and try and eat something but there are probably people in the dining car so he doesn't.


{ C. }

He's still not sure what time it is, but a quick focus of his hearing and he thinks the train was quieted down enough to indicate most people have probably gone to bed. Good for them, he hopes they sleep well. He sure isn't. He finally get up from where he's been sitting all day and stretches towards the ceiling, feeling his bones creak and crack in protest. He definitely sat for too long but he's not too worried about it. What he is worried about is his incredibly empty stomach that he hasn't bother to feel all day. It's angry now and leads him right to the kitchen to find something to eat-even if it's just some pasta. He starts in on making some macaroni and cheese before pulling a monster from his stash and cracking it open. Other people might have decided to just sleep it off, but not Peter. No, he's trying plot out a way he'll never have to sleep again. He takes a long swig of his energy drink and slinks back to the kitchen to check on the progress of the pasta.

Comments

B

[bluetailedhawk]

Tobias wasn't unfortunate enough to get a glimpse into Peter's dreams, but he knows what hiding and hurting look like. The garden car is where he spends most of his time, and Peter's been here a while, long enough that it looks like it's not just a passing mood. So the hawk makes himself scarce so he can change.

He morphs into a German Shepherd and sets his alarm on the SCA. Then he returns to the garden car and cautiously approaches Peter, giving his hand a sniff and a gentle nudge, if Peter lets him.

[hashtagparkerluck]

Peter lets out a heavy sigh-wondering just how long he's been here and how much longer he can get away with hiding. He wishes he'd had the foresight to grab a book but after those dreams-feeling like he was just trapped in an endless nightmare he had not control over, he got out of bed and hid. His Spideysense kicks up to a low buzz as he feels the other approach.

He lets the dog nudge him because he loves dogs. Petting a dog is exactly what he needs right now. "Hey, did someone sneak you onboard?" He asks, gently petting the dog and scratching his ears. "Did you have bad dreams too?" He asks, not having any intention of talking about his or expecting an answer. What is a dog doing on the void train anyway? Or is he still dreaming?

[bluetailedhawk]

Tobias pretends, for the moment, that he's not capable of speaking. Instead, he snuggles himself in closer, letting Peter have as much closeness as he wants. He does, however, lift a paw, showing off the SCA, so Peter would know he was indeed a fellow passenger.

He leans his head up, to give Peter's chin a gentle lick.

[hashtagparkerluck]

Peter notes the SCA with a bit of confusion because he's pretty sure he didn't see a dog on the roster last he checked it but what did he know? And honestly, he can't really bring himself to care at the moment.

"..Thanks." He tells Tobias before pulling his knees in again. "Well, I guess if you're here, I can say I'm not alone." Because right now is probably the worst time for him to be alone. Not that he particularly cares at the moment what a therapist he only had four sessions with would say. Where is she now, anyway? Still refusing to see patients because they can't afford it?

[bluetailedhawk]

Tobias rests his chin on Peter's knees, looking up at him with big puppy eyes for a few moments before he gives in and speaks up. <I promise not to tell anyone you were here if you promise not to tell them I turned into a dog.> His voice projects straight into Peter's head, and he sounds... young. Younger than Peter, certainly. <And no, I can't read your mind. Apparently that's a thing people are worried about.> And after that dream nonsense, he was starting to understand why.

C

[deductionrival]

Hattori couldn't sleep. He'd felt weird all day, which he realized was normal given what everyone had gone through the night- well, day- before.

Slipping out of bed, he headed for the kitchen in his pajamas and slippers. Stepping in the room, he spotted Peter and gave him a smile, though it faded quickly to worry as he took Peter's demeanor in. Chugging an energy drink like that had to mean something was off.

"Peter? You okay?"

[hashtagparkerluck]

Peter looks up as someone enters the kitchen. Yeah, that definitely figures. He gets up and run into someone he knows. He doesn't answer at first and just takes another long drink of Monster. Can't have nightmares if you're not asleep, he reminds himself-wondering how long before he's out of energy drinks.


"Um.. yeah. Just.. hungry." He lies in his typical Peter Parker fashion. Even he knows he's not fine. He's really shaken up if truth be told and he just wanted to be alone but the universe can't even grant him that. Then again, he knows the moment he starts to feel like this is exactly when he shouldn't be alone. Hattori wasn't in his dreams though so maybe, just for now, he can pretend he's fine like he always does.

[deductionrival]

They both knew he was lying, but Hattori was just going to pretend he didn't for a moment. He looked at the pot of noodles. "If I help, can I have some? I'm pretty good at making noodles." Well, ramen noodles. That counted, right?

He opened the refrigerator to see if he could see anything good to add to it. "Want some soft cooked eggs with that?" He asked, looking back at his friend. "I also see some onion and peppers."

[hashtagparkerluck]

"I'm pretty good at mac and cheese-I mean there's not really much to it. But I like to add pepper flakes to make it a little spicy, you know?" He asks, happy to keep his attention on food rather than anything else. Is this why little old ladies like to talk about recipes so much? Then at least they don't have to talk about how terrible life actually is.

"Nah, I don't know how eggs would taste with macaroni and cheese-I mean... I don't think it'd be bad since I've heard of like... scrambled eggs being in a pasta dish." He thinks, he doesn't do a whole lot of cooking. That was Ben's area, after all.

a:

[hibana_incursa]

He could try to hide, or he could remember he has a girlfriend who tends to just know where she needs to be, whether people want her there or not. Not to mention, there's that subtle buzz in the back of her head, that soothing feeling that lets her know her boyfriend is around. So she grabs some of the cookies and brownies from the kitchen, grabs some coffee and follows her Same-Hat sense.

When she gets to the garden car, it actually takes her a minute to find him. When she does, she heads over.

She knows enough to not invade his space, so she sits a few inches away and sets the plate of baked goods down, holding out the extra sugary mug of coffee to Peter.

That's it. That's literally all she's going to do unless he moves to do something else. She doesn't want to say anything. She doesn't have to say anything unless he wants her to.

If he wants to just sit in silence, she'll be glad to. For now, one quietly supportive girlfriend reporting for duty.

[hashtagparkerluck]

He knows when she approaches by the dull and comforting buzz of the same-hat sense-but for once he's not exactly glad. He still loves her though-of course he does-he's just not really up for a whole lot of company now. Part of him is even just a little irritated that he can't even properly hide when he wants to. There are several dreams he can't quite remember but also several he can-mostly the bad ones. The one's that highlighted that he's cursed and anyone that gets close to him ends up dead.

How long before Parker Luck takes her too? He wants to think that since they're both spider-people that she'll be fine. It can't happen to her because she's like him-except that he knows he'll lose Tony eventually and Tony had always seemed so... indestructible.

"...I don't know what I'm doing." He finally voices, hand resting over his mouth. "I'm putting everyone in danger-I'm putting you in danger just be talking to you." His voice catches and he blinks off a few tears.

[hibana_incursa]

Gwen listens to Peter and frowns softly, hearing just how much she's hurting and wishing she knew what to do to help. She lucked out and didn't dream, just slept really hard and then maybe had one dream of loud screaming that she barely remembers. But from the general feel of the place? A lot of people had a really rough time. She almost misses the train inspectors.

What he says, though. It's worrying her so much. That's not his way of saying he might be considering breaking up, is it?

"Take into consideration that I choose to be around you and talk to you, despite what you're worrying about." He's mentioned Parker Luck several times, and can easily guess that's what he means.

"I stick by you because I love you. I'm actively choosing to be around you, because of that reason."

[hashtagparkerluck]

"Yeah, and I love you. Which is exactly the problem." He sucks in a breath and leans his head against the wall, hands shaking slightly as he runs his fingers over his curls. He bites at his bottom lip and trembles even more as he tries to keep hold of his composure. "Everyone I love dies, Gwen. I wish I was just being dramatic but-" He glances at the ceiling again, and trying to steady his breathing and keeping his voice from cracking. "My parents, My uncle, even Mr Stark is going to..." He sniffles, taking a moment to once again try and regain himself.

"I'm probably gonna lose May too, and I just... What if I lose you, too? I'd rather you be alive then.." He shudders at the thought, his chest feeling like it's imploding on him. "I can't keep doing this. I can't keep losing people."

B.

[mayp]

May has been searching for Peter all morning. She needed to see him, to ensure that he was safe both for her peace of mind and she imagines for his as well. It is perhaps mid morning by the time she finds him, curled away in a corner of the train that very few people frequented. Sitting down in front of him she reaches out her hands to take his in hers, to silently reassure him.

[hashtagparkerluck]

Peter jolts slightly as he feels her hands on his-familiar and warm. He'd been so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear her coming. He looks up at her the moment he knows who it is and bites down on his bottom lip. He still has May. She's been with him through everything. He sucks in a breath and sniffles slightly as he can feel the damn beginning to break. He tries to blink back a few unshed tears before his chest trembles a little and his eyes over flow, the tears he'd been fighting all day sliding out and slipping down his cheeks.

He pulls his hands away to try and wipe this tears away with the sleeve of his hoodie. "I'm sorry." He hiccups, more tears sliding down his face. "I'm sorry, I just-" He doesn't finish his though and just sniffles again.

[mayp]

May pulls him against her body, stroking his head. "Shhh darling, there is nothing to be worried about," she whispers. "Everything is going to be okay. You will feel better soon. Just need to take it easy."

[hashtagparkerluck]

He clings onto his Aunt as tight as he dares. He sniffles again, letting the tears fall like he hasn't in a really long time. "I just-" He tries again. "I'm just-What if he shows up here?" He finally manages-sure she'll know exactly who he means. "I don't want everyone to know about that but I can't exactly-I couldn't-I mean there are other kids here."

B

[stealsyourheart]

Soft, almost soundless footsteps - even when he's not the Thief, Kaito moves unusually quietly, for a teen.

They stop right outside Peter's hiding place and Kaito shifts to lean against the wall.

"Do you want to talk, or do you want to play?"

[hashtagparkerluck]

Apparently, Peter's not smart enough to hide where people can't find him and he's honestly a little miffed at himself for it. Just one more thing he's fucked up. He doesn't really want to do either. He wants to sit back here and not talk to anyone just in case it somehow signs their death warrant. Tony's is already signed and who knows how much longer he'll have his aunt.

But what exactly could he say that wouldn't just immediately get him chucked into some kind of train therapy. He glances over at Kaito and then back to the ground he's been determinedly staring at. What he wants is for everyone to be safe but that doesn't seem possible anytime he's around someone. He remembers Kaito being in one of hie dreams-one of the worst ones-one where Skip turned up. So now that's not a secret. He sucks in a breath about to just dismiss both offers all together but before he's aware of even doing it, he changes his mind.

"I don't know." He admits.

[stealsyourheart]

There's no place on this train he could hide from Kaito, but Kaito will do him the kindness of not telling him that. All that clambering around the train is really good for sussing out hiding spots, after all.

"That's fair." He says easily, still leaning against the wall and not (obviously) looking at Peter.

"Some things are hard to talk about. Hard to think about too."

[hashtagparkerluck]

it's funny how absolutely exhausting anxiety can even with his metabolism and powers. Too bad the spider-bite couldn't heal all his mental issues.

"Yeah, but avoiding them's probably not a great plan either." Peter shrugs, running a hand over his face. "You probably have questions-but I can't really promise I can go into detail-there are parts that I've never really uh.." He shakes his head and lets out a sigh. "But I probably at least owe you a little bit of an explanation."

B

[knifewithnoname]

There are some people she is avoiding, but Peter is not one of those people. She remembers the dreams she shared with him. Both his dreams probably, one where she fought his enemy and one where he was dreaming of the ER and spiders.

She had been looking for him most of the day. He wasn't in the dressing compartment, or the quiet coach or the games carriage or the kitchen.

So she was going through each carriage looking, when she spotted him in the gardens. She approached cautiously.

"If that do be being what school do be being like I do be being glad it do no be existing in my world."

Would the temple be like that? She was pretty sure it wouldn't be. It wouldn't have stupid people like that there.

[hashtagparkerluck]

By the time she's found him his spirits are a little higher but he's still sitting in the garden car, avoiding the others and lost in his own thoughts. He hears her coming but doesn't really acknowledge it until he hears her voice. He looks up at her, he's not crying but the look on his face-the lack of the usual spark in his eyes might give away that he's not nearly as happy or cheerful as he normally is-or at the very least, pretends to be.

At her comment though, he can't help smile a little, he can't blame her for that. He scoots over a little to allow her room to join him. "It's not. Not usually. I mean, you do get in trouble if you bring a knife to school." He tells her, nudging her gently with his elbow if she's come to sit closer. "But no, uh... Flash actually isn't that bad-like my school has what they call a.. 'zero tolerance for bullying' thing that mostly keeps him in check. Doesn't stop him from tripping me down the stairs sometime but hey, no one's perfect."

[knifewithnoname]

She joined him, wrinkling her nose at the nudging. School sounded pretty stupid. "If they did be letting you be having knives then he would no be being a problem at all." She pointed out.

If they had zero tolerance for bullying then there should be no tripping down the stairs. Or.

"You did be saying he did be being running you over with a car. They should be having zero tolerance for that."

She had no idea what a zero tolerance for bullying thing meant, but she assumed it meant punishment. And that boy had deserved punishing.

[hashtagparkerluck]

Peter doesn't disagree. He likes learning new things but he's not too fond of school over all. He can't help the small snort of laughter at her comment and then just sighs fondly. "That's kinda why they don't want knives at school-they don't want anyone getting hurt." he explains, reminding himself that her world's society is nothing near like his.

"They would, but unless he does it front of a teacher? Probably not gonna happen. I could tell on him, I guess but there's this ancient proverb where I'm from-I think I mentioned it to you once but- Snitches get Stitches." He says, tone a lot lighter than he actually feels. "Besides, his dad's a huge donor for our school and I'm there because I passed a test that said I was smart enough to not have to pay. That's the thing-In my world it's really complicated-Money controls everything. So even if someone does something bad-with a enough money they can sweep it under the rug. "