voidtreckerexpress | Event: Abort! Part Two (day 25, Egret). Luggage carriage

Entry tags:

Event: Abort! Part Two (day 25, Egret). Luggage carriage

They are on world world#27462947582 for about five hours, helping, ushering people out of the city, fighting monsters, keeping guard. All seems well in the city itself, peaceful even except for the slight panic of people being told to move south.

Wherever they are, north in the desert, travelling through the countryside to the south or still in the city itself they will notice from their peripheral vision a darkening of the sky. Looking up they will see clouds. Strange clouds, appearing in the blue sky out of nowhere.

Their SCA’s start beeping, rapidly, flashing red. The clouds are too weird to be clouds, dark shapes in the sky. It might be that the Voidtreckers heed the warning and tap their SCA to evacuate to the train. It might be that they do not.

If they don’t then there is a moment, a moment of absolute stillness as those around them notice the shapes. A confused pause. Children stop their chatter, people stop their complaining, even the monsters seem to sense something and pause in their attacks.

The remaining voidtreckers are yanked away, even without pressing their SCA, they glow gold and disappear.

They all appear in the luggage carriage and not even a second later, with no warning the train lurches, flinging everyone off their feet as it enters the void.

It’s not really easy to tell speed in the void, but they will get the sense that they are moving fast. Faster than before, leaving that world and whatever those shapes were behind.

(OOC: Information on this event is here and part one is here)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Yeah," Bucky smiles weakly. "Yeah, I'm... starting to get that now," he agrees, but the question makes him hesitate before he nods his head. "I'm always scared when I'm alone," he replies quietly.

It was part of why his arrangement with Inigo worked so well -- the sleeping at odd hours in seemingly random places, just so he had human contact while he was doing it. So he wouldn't have to fight fear while trying to asleep.

That answer specificaly makes him have half the mind to just try and squeeze himself into Bucky's bed each night or something instead of just the regular naps they have together.

But before he can mention anything about it, Inigo's mind stumbles on something else while thinking about the various after effects of everything that happened to the other. Something he had been worried about, but hadn't been able to bring up in the moment.

"You were hiding your arm. Back when I introduced Yuki." Even though it's not like everyone on the train wouldn't already have noticed it by now.

He manages a smile anyway, because the way Inigo is looking at him makes his heart hurt in a way that tells him he's said something he shouldn't have. "I'm okay, though. We're almost never alone on the train, right?"

The non-question, though, has his smile turning into a grimace in response. "Well, I didn't want to scare him, and it's rude, to have a weapon out when you meet someone, right?" he replies, ducking his head a little bit.

"Yeah." The answer sounds a little off though, like Inigo's thoughts are somewhere else entirely as he says it. ".. We're not."

Still, Bucky shouldn't be too surprised if Inigo ends up popping up around him a bit more the next few days.. Just since he can't help but worry. He's faced with a much more direct worry though when the other continues, and that makes him frown for real this time.

"Bucky, it's not a weapon." Sure. Technically it is, if you want to argue semantics. Inigo sure wouldn't want to get hit with it. But then again, it's not like he'd want to get hit by Bucky's flesh hand either. "It's your arm. It's not like you were going to hurt him. You shouldn't think about a part of yourself like that."

Whether or not Bucky was surprised, he was going to be happy that Inigo was hanging around a little more than normal.

The scolding had his cheeks going dark with blush, and he shakes his head a little. "They used to call me the Fist of Hydra because of this arm," he replies. "The only thing it was ever used for was killing, until Steve freed me. It's hard for me to think of it as anything else."

He hates it. Everything Bucky is saying right now. This isn't the sort of thing Bucky should ever have to be talking about, or ever have to deal with. But as much as he instinctively wants to refute it, it feels so hard. They're just facts. He can't erase anything that happened in the other's past.

Maybe it's an older sibling thing. It reminds him so much of those times Lucina said the most depressing things to him, like how they couldn't refuse to lose the war, no matter who might die. Awful things he didn't want her to say or think about, but at the same time couldn't do a thing about.

So Inigo does the same thing he did in those situations. Just let his emotions take charge and blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, anything that might help erase those words. Without considering what he's trying to keep secret in this place or not.

"That's.. You couldn't help that though! You shouldn't have to be the one to feel bad about it..!" His eyes start to water. "I've killed so many people that there's no way I even could've kept count, and I was in full control of myself the whole time! Does that make you think I'm a bad guy too?!"

Bucky stops what he's doing to give Inigo his full attention as a frown forms on his face. He knew Inigo was a warrior back home, but he hadn't quite realized how much battle he'd really seen, and just the idea of his smaller friend taking a life made his heart ache.

"Of course not," he replies quietly, reaching out with his metal arm to pull Inigo into a hug. He knows Inigo doesn't see it as a weapon, and more than that, he trusts his younger friend not to be unsettled by it. It's just another piece of him, which is still something Bucky had trouble wrapping his head around, but... he presses a kiss to the crown of Inigo's head.

"I'm sorry, that you had to do something like that. You're way too young, but even at any age, asking someone to go to war is," he lets the words hang, huffing out a sigh instead. "I knew you were a warrior, but I didn't really understand," not until now. It fills his heart with horror on behalf of his friend, and grief, and if it were even possible, his desire to protect Inigo is greater than ever before.

There's absolutely no resistance to the metal arm. It's true - Inigo really does just see it as part of Bucky, just as normal as his flesh arm. The only thing that sucks about it is all the bad memories it gives Bucky himself, really. So when he's pulled into a hug by it, all he does is just lean into it, sniffing as he feels a tear spill out from his eyes as he listens to the other speak.

He knows Bucky can understand it. Kind of. Though their worlds are very different, he knows Bucky has been in the army too. Even before all of that other terrible stuff happened to him.

Inigo had been planning on dragging Bucky along a little further, but that feels silly now. He's crying, and although he at least trusts Bucky enough to see that, he doesn't really want anyone else to see him as a crying mess. And he should really do something about Bucky's shoulder.

"I.. haven't talked to anyone about this." Not even back home. Sure, of course his friends knew since they lived through it too, but when they traveled to the past, he just pretended like none of it had ever happened. "But if you want, I can-- I can tell you more. And you can tell me stuff too. Maybe it'll actually be good to talk..?"

He has no clue. He's been surpressing it forever, after all. But people do always say it's good to talk about things, even though he's been ignoring that advice real hard.

"My room is over there." And his roommates should still be part of the pile in the luggage car, so they'd have some privacy.

By this point, Bucky has completely forgotten about his injury. Instead, his whole world has narrowed down to just Inigo and the pain on the boy's face. The pain that they shared, though the circumstances were vastly different.

"Yeah," Bucky replies quietly. "They say it's good to talk about that kind of thing, that it helps you live with what happened," and god knows he needed it -- he just hadn't realized how much Inigo needed it, too.

He rubs his hand over Inigo's hair gently, trying to soothe him a little so the crying would be a little less obvious when he stepped back, to follow Inigo to his room. He wanted nothing more than to protect his young friend from everything the world -- and this stupid train -- had thrown at him to put him in such a sad state.

But somewhere, in the depths of Bucky's heart, he felt a little warm, too, because he's not alone. Even though he'd rather Inigo never have suffered, knowing that someone so sweet and gentle has survived and better, survived with that sweet spirit intact, it gives him hope. Maybe he can be human again, too.

The knucklehead doesn't think about it long enough to realize he already is.

The moment Bucky steps back, Inigo furiously rubs at his eyes to try and make the tears disappear while walking into the room. At least no one should see them there, sure, but turning into an incoherent sobbing mess surely won't help talking about all of this.

When they move to sit down on one of the bunks, he makes sure to sit on Bucky's uninjured side, just so he can lean a little against the other without hurting him. Sure, it means he's leaning against metal, but it doesn't bother him at all. Instead he just pauses, trying to figure out where to start. Never talking about it means he's never had to consider that. And though part of him instinctively feels guilty for unloading all his pain on someone else, at least he's glad it's Bucky, if it had to be anyone. He gets it. He's been through so much as well. It doesn't feel like Inigo would drag him down into sadness as much as he would by telling this to one of the more normal or cheerful people on the train.

"I.. mentioned Naga to you before. The Divine Dragon that protects our world. She's known as the Divine Dragon because she sealed away another powerful dragon, Grima, a long, long time ago. But when I was much younger, Grima came back all of a sudden. The dragon's appearance caused crops to wilt, caused people to get sick and die, caused monsters to appear.. The whole world slowly changed into a wasteland. My parents died when I was hardly even old enough to understand what death meant."

The last part caused him to pause for a moment, but he presses himself onward.

"So my friends and I.. we decided we had to do something. We didn't even know what, just that we had to do something about the situation. So many people had already perished, there were no longer any armies left to fight the threat.. if we didn't do something, then who was? So we all took whatever experience we had and tried to do what we could. Protect villagers from the monsters. Try to help out people where we could. Sure, things were rough, but we just tried to do our best. But.." He shakes his head. "Things got worse. People didn't stay dead anymore when they died. They became the Risen. They looked the same, sounded the same, fought the same way.. but all they thought about was fighting and killing. One day we might protect a village, only to find all the villagers having turned into Risen the next day. There was no option to cure them either, all we could do was just fight them and put them down.."

His voice gets more choked up, and although he managed to stop the tears a few moments ago, they start flowing again now he's saying these things out loud for the first time.

"I killed so many people that way. Innocent people who had done nothing wrong other than dying and returning as that. Neighbours. People I knew. Every time we went out to fight, I felt so terrified that next time I'd have to face down one of my friends instead, or even my big sister. I woke up screaming from nightmares about it so many times." It's only then that he dares to turn his head to look at Bucky. "So when I saw you like that in that dream.. It reminded me so much of it."

Even though it was different. Bucky wasn't dead. Not that being brainwashed was great either, but at least means he got better. He could keep getting better.

"It felt like I was losing a brother to something like it.."

When Inigo leans on him, Bucky shifts his arm to curl it around Inigo's shoulders gently, bowing his head slightly as he listens to the story his brother has to tell. He doesn't know anything about magic or dragons, but he knows what it's like to watch the landscape around you go from idyllic village to ravaged wasteland. He knows what war looks like up close, personal, and hideously ugly, and he can at least recognize that.

As Inigo describes the Risen, it's like a stone's been placed in his stomach. He knows what he looks like when he's the Winter Soldier, knows that it must've been painfully close to what Inigo fought on a daily basis. He rubs his hand along Inigo's arm, the most he can manage while he listens, and nods his head a little when the explanation was over.

"You had," he replies quietly, not quite able to meet Inigo's eyes, not yet. He takes a deep, shaking breath. "I didn't choose to go to war. My government told me I was going, trained me and shipped me out. I never wanted to pick up a gun, to kill another man, but we went to war for good reason, and I did what I was called upon to do. I was captured by the enemy and experimented on before being rescued so that years later, when I fell out of a train and down a mountain cliff, I was able to survive," he hesitates, steeling himself for the rest of the story.

"The enemy found me, held me prisoner. The man that had experimented on me the first time got his hands on me again. My arm had been ripped off at the elbow when I fell," his metal arm flexing a little, giving Inigo a gentle squeeze. "But he took more. More and more, until they were embedding metal into my spine, to get this damn arm working right. Crafting my body into a weapon of their choosing. The only problem is that I was a stubborn bastard," he huffs out a laugh, forcing a smile even though there are already tears gathering.

"So they devised two ways to control me. The first was a chair, designed to hold me still despite my considerable strength, while they shot electricity through my head, destroying the portions of my brain responsible for memory. The other, a series of words, spoken in a specific order, that would activate psychological conditioning. Stripping away my will so that any order I was fed, I would obey. Sometimes they would feed me lies about how I was helping the world by doing their bidding because even then, stripped down to nothing but a shell, I knew I didn't want to hurt anyone.

"For years, they used me. Sent me to kill important people, to further their reach. At some point, Zola, the man who created the Winter Soldier, was transplanted into a machine, with a screen like these," he gestures at the ICP. "And between missions they would put me into a state of suspended animation, by freezing me," a little shiver worked through him, and he let out a sigh, turning his gaze to the ceiling of the tiny room. "That's why I'm afraid of so many things here. The train itself, the cold, the screens..." It was stupid and foolish, he knew that, but it didn't stop his blood from going cold every time a face popped up on the ICP. "When I was under their control, I was called the Winter Soldier. I'm very sorry you had to meet him, even if it was only in a dream."

At least the memories of his own past are shoved back a little as he listens to Bucky's story and tries to imagine all that instead, using the parts of it he did get to see in that dream as a basis - but that might be a worse momentary replacement. Inigo can't feel anything but horror at just how much they did to Bucky.

And even moreso since Bucky was still so Bucky throughout it. Trying to resist even when the odds were so clearly stacked against him. Still wanting to do good and not hurt people, even when he was at his worst. They still tried so hard to mold him into something else, even when it sounds like he was trying so hard to cling onto those last parts of himself.

He can't stop the tears that already started when he was talking earlier. His heart aches for the man holding him. So Inigo sniffs as Bucky reaches that apology at the end.

"You don't have anything to apologize to me for." Even that dream had been something Bucky couldn't have helped, and honestly, Inigo is kind of glad he was at least able to comfort Bucky back there in the end. "And.. it's okay to be scared. After all you've been through? Anyone would be scared."

Inigo feels like he would have been a lot worse off if it had been him in Bucky's shoes. He's sure of it.

"Even if you had to endure all of that, and even if you're scared.. You still smile. And you joke. And you're so nice to everyone here. You're doubly amazing for still being an amazing person even after all that."

He reaches up, rubbing his sleeve against his eyes. "I'm scared of tons of things too, you know..? Even though there's no fighting on the train itself, and there's definitely no Risen, I'm still terrified of other things. Like waking up one day and finding out everyone I know is gone. Or that people might find out more about me and judge me for it. Rightfully so, since I've just.. turned out awful." Inigo laughs hollowly. "I wish I could've ended up more like you."

He holds Inigo against his side, smiling sadly as he listened, even shaking his head a little at parts but when Inigo finishes, Bucky can't help the quiet laugh that comes out. "God, you've got no idea what you're really like, do you?" he says warmly. "Inigo!" It comes out on an exasperated sigh.

"Inigo," softer this time, more serious. "Everything you just said about me could easily have been me talking about you. Why do you think I call you my brother?" He gives his head a shake. "It's not just about being close to you, being your friend. It's because I see the parts of myself that I want to have more of, whenever I look at you. You're strong, bold, brave, and you always go out of your way to make people feel better. Whenever I stand next to you, I feel like a better man than I was before, and that together we're stronger, able to stand up to whatever this train pits us against. Even when it's our own fears or insecurities."

He let go of Inigo, long enough to peel off his shirt, letting the younger man get a look at where his metal shoulder disappeared into his chest, thick ugly scars covering the edges. "Who else could look at this and see anything but a monster?" He sighed, looking down at the metal, the scars. Immediately, he was overcome with the urge to put his shirt back on, to hide his mangled chest and back, but he made himself keep it off. "You remind me that I'm human. So if you need me to, I'll remind you of the same thing, any time."

Inigo looks a bit like a mess when he listens to Bucky speak. There's the remainder of the tears from a moment ago still making his eyes watery, and then on top of that he's starting to definitely look flustered at what Bucky is saying. The compliments feel more believable especially since they're coming from him, but that's what makes them more overwhelming at the same time.

Thankfully he can stop focusing on them for a moment once the other's shirt comes off. Inigo can't help but stare at the point where metal meets flesh - a lot of strange things may be common where he comes from, but metal prosthetics sure aren't one of them. It's new. And a little strange.

But not monstrous. It's Bucky. Nothing about him could ever be monstrous to Inigo.

He slowly reaches out, putting his hand on the scars, fingertips grazing the metal next to it. For a moment he's quiet, but then he adds with a still slightly watery smile: "I mean.. I might be biased, but this sure still feels human to me."

Still.. he gets it. He really does. He pulls his hand back. "But.. you know. I guess I have to keep things fair." If Bucky is going to be this vulnerable in front of him, the least he can do is do the same in turn. Even though Inigo can feel his hands shaking as he reaches for the bottom of the dumb tunic he's still wearing. But he tries to pull himself together the best he can, just long enough for him to be able to pull the shirt up over his head and then off. Underneath the skin is littered with scars - old battle scars of all shapes and sizes, some looking like a halfassed attempt was made to patch them up. A few parallel ones run all the way from his shoulder down his torso, like a near inhuman claw struck there.

"I haven't even shown this to my sister," he manages to force out in a quiet voice. "I couldn't afford to show anyone my pain back home. Or fear. Or insecurities. Even here I have trouble with it. But I-- I trust you enough to show you."

Bucky lets out a little laugh, reaching his flesh hand up to rap a knuckle against his metal shoulder. "Yeah, totally human," he teases, but he knows what Inigo means, and as much as he thinks of himself as a monster, he knows it's just his own fears and anger talking.

When Inigo removes his shirt, Bucky's stomach ties itself up in knots. He's certainly seen wounds from battle before, but the sheer number of them is enough to have his eyes burning again. Inigo is so young, but he's already been through so much. He knew it, but seeing the proof is a whole different beast.

"Thank you," he says softly when he's sure his voice won't crack. "And I'm sorry that you went through all that, that your world put you in that position," he shook his head gently. "War, no matter what kind or why it's being waged, is a hell of a beast. The only good thing is knowing the soldier standing next to you has your back," and he offered Inigo his hand with a weak smile. "Till the end of the line?"

It's another one of those good things about Bucky - or at least good in the sense that it makes him able to understand everything so well. Even before all of the awful, awful things that came after it, Bucky understands what it's like to be a soldier. What it's like to just keep fighting, not knowing whether or not you'll make it home at the end of it all. Not knowing whether the people alongside you will make it as well. Despite the number of people here who have experience with fighting, there don't seem to be a whole lot who understand that very specific experience.

But Bucky does. It's like he can understand anything, and it's so weird and new for Inigo for someone to see to his core as thoroughly as Bucky does that he has to duck his head for a moment as he listens to the older man speak. It's so overwhelming. But in a good way, he thinks.

And of course Inigo grabs the hand the moment it's offered to him. He doesn't even have to think about it. Bucky could offer it to him under any circumstances and he'd be there to grab it. That's what brothers do.

"Till the end of the line," he repeats. And smiles too. It's very vulnerable, but also very genuine. "I will always be there for you."

That gets a little grin, and Bucky has to look away to stop the tears from welling up in his eyes again. "Same here," he agreed quietly, looking down at his chest and the scars again. "Y'know, till the end of the line is a train reference," he muses quietly. "But falling off a train is how I ended up with this arm in the first place," he lifts the metal hand, looking at the way it catches the light. "I'm glad it's a whole lot harder to fall out of this one." He's trying to lighten the mood a little, after all the tears and the heavy conversation. To make things a little more normal even though they both have all their scars on display.

"But on the subject of unusual body modifications," he thinks he's clever for that, he does. "How'd you get the fancy eye?"

It's definitely a reference Inigo wouldn't understand, so it's actually a good thing that Bucky mentions it. The attempt at lightening the mood slightly makes the edges of Inigo's lips curl up. "Even if you could fall out of this one, I wouldn't let that happen." He says it lightly too, casually, like he's just going along with some private joke between the two of them, but Inigo also fully means it. It might be a dumb sentiment, since Bucky certainly is much stronger than him, but.. if he can help it, Inigo isn't going to let anything happen to him.

Although then there's the question about his eye. It seems to catch him off guard, making him look surprised and then shy in rather quick succession. No one else has asked about it on this train, and it's so easy to forget it's even there when you can't exactly see your own eyes.

"Ah, that's.. It's not really a modification.." Not in the way Bucky's arm was, anyway, if he's learned anything from what the other has told him about it. It's not like they took Inigo's eye out only to replace it with this one. His hand rises up to briefly cover the eye before moving away again. "That mark is the Brand of the Exalt. It's a reminder of the ancient pact the royal family of Ylisse has with the Divine Dragon. Though it's not necessarily present from birth, it appears somewhere on the body of every member of the royal family over time. My sister has it in her other eye."

Yes, there sure is An Implication in what he's saying, isn't there. Even though Inigo seems to choose not to voice the obvious.

He huffs out a chuckle at Inigo's promise, grinning a little as he replies. "Well, as long as you promise to go look for me if I do fall off, even if it seems like there's no way anyone could survive..." He says it lightly, but the grin doesn't quite reach his eyes.

The explanation about Inigo's eye gets the warmth back in his eyes as he laughs, though. "Oh, is that all? You're just a literal prince but it's no big deal." He believes Inigo, of course, and it makes sense to him that a prince might want to keep that detail to himself in a place like this but the reluctance, the beating around the bush before putting it out there, is entirely too cute.

"You realize I'm gonna have to start calling you Your Majesty now, right?" he teases.

"Bucky!"

Does Inigo realise Bucky is just teasing him? Probably.. But that also means he could definitely tease Inigo in the future by actually calling him that at some point! And apparently the very thought of that by itself is enough to get Inigo all comically worked up.

"Bucky. Bucky. Bucky." His intonation changes every time he says the name, growing from sceptical to pleading. "You're not actually going to do that, are you? You can't do that! I promise I will always go look for you whenever I can't find you, no matter what, as long as you don't actually call me that!"

He laughs, all the way from his toes, as Inigo repeats his name. "I promise not to do it in front of anyone else?" he replies helpfully, his grin wide as can be as he looks at his younger friend. "But you can't expect me not to tease you a little. What kind of friend would I be if I just did nothing with this information?"

That's absolutely not helpful to Inigo at all!

"The kind of friend who respects the last shreds of dignity I have," he says, almost kind of dryly. Because Inigo is already starting to suspect this is just a fate he's not easily going to escape from.

But while that part is going along with the teasing and the jokes Bucky is making - though very reluctantly! - Inigo seems to turn a tad more serious as he speaks on.

"I mean, there is a reason why I don't tell anyone that in this place. I don't want anyone treating me strangely, or thinking of me differently than they would have otherwise."

"Dignity?" Bucky parrots. "Never heard of it," his grin is wide and warm, but when Inigo's tone turns serious, he shakes his head a little.

"I figured as much. I promise not to go around telling everyone, but you can't hold a little teasing in private against me, can you? Besides, I was an assassin, remember?" His grin widens a little. "I could be your humble and loyal servant in all things murder." He knows Inigo would never ask him to do such a thing -- or that if he did, there would be plenty of good reason for doing so.

Inigo isn't too sure how to feel about that joke, since he sure doesn't like thinking of Bucky that way. On the other hand, maybe it's for the better that he can make jokes about that at this point instead of only feeling crappy about it.

So he lets out a small, half-amused sigh, before gently letting himself drop sideways enough to rest his head against Bucky's shoulder.

"I guess I can't hold that against you, yes. Though I'd prefer having a big brother to having a personal assassin." Then again, Bucky is fulfilling that big brother role perfectly exactly because of the teasing, isn't he.

Edited 2020-08-06 20:53 (UTC)

Bucky grins, giving Inigo a gentle squeeze and rubbing a hand up and down the younger man's opposite arm. "Well, if your Highness insists," he replies with a chuckle that almost turns into a full laugh. "You know, I didn't realize princes were ever that close to the front lines anymore. Usually they're in cushy little offices directing troops without risking a hair out of place," even if it's the cultural norm where Inigo is from, Bucky is still at least a little bit impressed. It takes a lot of courage to run towards a fight, especially when you've been badly hurt in one before. He knows that on a very personal level.

Event: Abort! Part Two (day 25, Egret). Luggage carriage

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

this is so tl;dr i'm SO sorry

No but I LOVE IT, also have some back. :x

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

sounds like a good place to wrap this one? c: