voidtreckerexpress | Egret 26. It's time to talk.

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Egret 26. It's time to talk.

Who: Gladio and Ignis
What: Talking.
Where: Quiet Room
When: Day after the mission, day 26.
Warning: Not sure how this will play out... Could be hugs. Could be a punch. Could be an atomic wedgie. Who knows?

It had been a few days. By rights Gladio knew he probably should have sought Ignis out right after everything had happened. Or at least the day after giving him time to mourn the loss. But he hadn't done that. His last talk with Ignis had not gone well at all... Their relationship had become... strained at best. At worst, damn right toxic. And he hadn't known how to handle Ignis after that.

But on the heels of that last mission, Gladio had gained a little clarity of thought. Being locked in the train for so long had played havoc with his mood and being injured and useless on top of that, he'd found himself in a depressed slump that he'd struggled to get out of. It may have only been for a few hours, and the return back to the train had not been good at all... But those few hours had saved his sanity... mostly. He felt a deep sadness at the loss of those green hills and blue skies, but he held hopes he would see them again.

It was that hope, and the calm that came with it, that had him hunting down Ignis the next morning.

Maybe he should gone armed with coffee or something. But Gladio didn't want any distractions. He wanted to sit Ignis down and he wanted to talk with him. So, he started in all the usual places and was a bit perturbed to find Ignis was in one of the quiet rooms and not in the kitchen stress cooking like he'd half imagined him to be doing.

Gladio took a deep breath and lifted his hand to knock on the door.

It was now or never.

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If Gladio didn't know who Ignis was, the man before the shield had been questioning everything he'd thought he'd learned in the past few months. So he was quiet and withdrawn, lost in his own world and fighting it, trying to carry on. But his heart wouldn't let go and he was mentally drowning.

Green eyes met those of the shield and he knew what Gladio was referring to. This would be hard and the advisor knew that. He always tried to appear in control and have things well in hand even in the midst of chaos like with any of the situations he and the lads had found themselves in back home. Tony's words about members of the Red team being the ones with nothing to lose ran through his mind again as it did often and he nodded slowly.

"Yes..I can do that." Again it came out soft, but there was the underlying tone of steel and resolve he hadn't felt in awhile. Even still, his gloved hands remained wrapped around his cup as if it were his anchor.

He waited.

When he got his answer, Gladio leaned forward and folded his arms atop the table in front of him. He could imagine how Ignis was feeling, though was sure his imagination would pale in comparison to the real thing.

There was so much he could say. So many questions he asked. But since they were speaking plainly, there was really only one very important question that needed an answer.

"How're you holding up?" He asked, his voice gentle and affectionate to mirror the smile upon his face.

He glanced up at Gladio when he shifted but obviously this was meant for the other to get more comfortable. Silence reigned but it wasn't uncomfortable. It was in the back of his mind to thank the shield for showing up and for the smiles but Ignis didn't trust himself to speak much so he locked it down and tried to be strong.

However the guilt and the weight of words gone wrong were pinning him down and the advisor couldn't find a way out this time. All of his strategies went down the drain and he wasn't recovering.

The dusty blonde head shook and the small smile he attempted failed. "I'm...trying."

Almost... Gladio sighed and resisted putting his face in his hands, though he couldn't quite help rubbing a hand across his eyes as his own smile fell.

"... What're you trying, Iggy?" He asked finally and dropped his hand back onto the table. "So far you're hiding. From your friends. From yourself. So come on, tell me, what're you trying?" There was no anger in his voice, only tiredness. Gladio had known it would be a struggle to do this. But he'd at least hoped Ignis would work with him a bit and give him more to go on. Since he wasn't, Gladio would have to push harder.

"I can't bloody well hide from myself." Ignis said. There was no anger, just a small amount of frustration, which was leveled at himself. But he said he would be open and as much as it pained him, he knew Gladio meant well.

"I'm trying hard to understand." His green eyes looked up at the shield. "I've been informed..the Red Team have nothing to lose so they undertake the most dangerous missions." He closed it down in his mind to making it something of a report so he wouldn't cry. Why the older man thought he had nothing to lose when Ignis was standing right in front of the man at the time he would never know. Did Madoka count as nothing too? If the strategist truly meant nothing to the other, wasn't it better that Tony had left?

"I've been walked away from and when I offered to have Tony be a member of the Blue Team he refused." He paused and took a sip of coffee to reign in the tears. Another shake of the head came soon after putting the coffee cup back down and he held onto it again, staring at the mug. "Then I offered to go to the Red team and that's when he got angrier than..I'd ever seen him. I was wrong..to have said Madoka would come with me, but since I'm used to fighting at your side, Noct and Prompto's I thought I would be of some use. But I was wrong."

Tears welled up but he fought to keep them back and let the mug go with one gloved hand to place over his heart. In the shirt pocket over his heart lay the pink scallop shell he'd been given on the beach so he went gently. "I can't fix this. I can come up with strategies and I can carry them out but I can't fix my heart."

Emotions weren't easy for a man whose whole life had basically been to take care of someone else and to hell with himself.

"Yeah. Yeah you can." Of course you could hide from yourself. You could lie to yourself with great ease and make yourself believe any number of stupid things that were very much wrong.

He sat himself back and he listened then. He remained quiet for the whole of it. Taking it all in. Luckily he was able to read between the lines and fill in the gaps that Ignis was leaving. Plot holes you could ride a behemoth through. But he was pretty sure he was on the same page as Ignis.

He took a slow, deep breath... and sighed.

"What... exactly... makes you think you can have the same thing here as back home?" He asked quietly. "Why do you think someone not from our world, who isn't Crownsguard, who hadn't had the same training as us... Why do you think they'd be able to give you the same thing? I've gotta say, Iggy. It's kind of selfish to try and get him to become something he isn't. And just as wrong to want to change to conform to something he is."

Gladio fell quiet for a second and tapped the table top with his finger a few times as he considered his next words.

"Red team are idiots. The idea isn't to go off and get yourself killed. But is it any different from what we would have done back home? We'd have died to protect Noct. He'd have hated us for it, but we would have done it." He couldn't help grinning then. "Not going to do that now though. Screw dying. Having something to live for is a hell of a lot better."

And then he leaned forward. "... I told Madoka once. Be something, someone to come back for. To live for. Red Team get the toughest job. Tony has a stupid complex he needs beating out of him, but what he needed from you wasn't someone to fight at his side. He needed you to be his reason to live. His reason to pull himself back from doing something stupid. You get me?"

"And just to be clear, I'm not putting the blame on you here. I get what you were after and I can understand it. I'll be talking to Tony about this idea that he's got nothing to lose and it won't be pretty. But I'm dealing with you right now."

Gladio's words brought so much into sharp focus. Of course he'd been playing the game of having things the same back home, but then again it got brought to his attention that he couldn't have certain things...just like back home. He had thought he and Tony to be equals and in so many ways he was wrong. Here the train was indeed the older man's and if he had thought differently before (he hadn't) he would've been properly schooled at this point.

"Protecting someone else is all I know how to do well." This too wasn't said with any anger. "I thought..the team leadership and council would get in the way of our being a family too so I offered to get rid of them as I saw them as obstacles..." His hand came off of his heart. "I simply..didn't want anything in the way of us.." The blonde head went down lower and a few tears fell as emotion touched his tone. "I just wanted..to merge everything together."

Silence reigned until Gladio said the red teams were idiots and the head came up as a watery sort of smile greeted the shield. His hand had gone back to his mug and he nodded. "Noct..would put his life on the line for us too."

If they'd let him that is but of course they wouldn't.

There was almost a genuine smile as the shield informed Ignis as to what Tony's reasoning was. It was a side he'd never gotten to hear, as all he'd gotten was a turned back and all of that anger. He nodded gratefully at understanding Gladio, swiping at his eyes after letting go of the mug and removing his glasses. This was clarity, this was what he'd needed to hear, and this was what wasn't said to him. So for the moment the glasses remained off.

He then laughed at Gladio being protective Papa Bear here and he put his head down, laughing and crying at the same time. It was almost as if the other hit him with a very needed hi-potion.

"Fuck being equals." Gladio replied. "No such thing." At least, not in the way Ignis was imagining it to be. "You're two different people, Ignis. Different thoughts, feelings and experiences. What you are is complimentary. That's the aim here. He can give you things you never had and need, and you do the same for him." And sure, there was room for equality, but the way Ignis was imagining it was definitely the wrong kind. Throwing everything away just to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with a guy... That didn't track for Gladio. "You wanna fight beside him? Pick your battles. You're our strategist, you know this. You called the shots, told us where to go, covered my back so I could go in there and do what I needed to do. Always ready with a potion when things got too hot. We were never equal. We were four parts of a whole. And that's what you need to remember. You and Tony? Two very different and separate parts that work well on their own. But when you two come together..."

It was here that Gladio slipped out from his side of the table and moved around to Ignis'. He'd been talking, his tone heated but soft as he warmed up to the topic. But he wasn't so stupid he was just going to sit and let his friend cry, even if it was mixed with laughter.

"Noct wouldn't die for us, Ignis. Not now. Maybe before when he didn't have a choice. But now? I think he'd choose to live. And I think you need to work out how to get Tony to make that choice as well. Not what team he needs to be on." He wrapped an arm around the other man's shoulders and gave him a little tug. "Or do you want me to go kick his ass until he agrees? I'll do it. You know I will."

The complementary part had Ignis inwardly smile. He did rather think he and Tony worked well together. But lately his head had been so wrapped up in trying to figure out what he did wrong. The advisor of course had his heart in the right place, or so he thought until the shield began to kick that down. That..was just like back home too, equals just wouldn't be a thing. Maybe his equals were the Crownsguard and the king as Gladio was saying, four parts of a whole.

It was nice that the other moved to sit next to him, though he didn't personally agree about Noct. Wisely he said nothing and kept his thoughts to himself. He had no fight in him at all for anyone. But deep inside he thanked Gladio for being his own personal shield, even if just for a moment. This was what he needed though, for someone to tell him he wasn't stupid. Wrong okay, but he felt like everything he'd known or thought was wrong lately. "I..I'm afraid I don't know how. Tony's..very angry with me. I don't want to make things worse." Ignis was still second guessing everything he knew was right.

Still, he felt himself lean against the other man just for a moment and closed his eyes. There was more watery laughter as he could very well picture an angry Gladio advancing on Tony. Finally he drew a hitched breath and shook his head. "I know and I appreciate..you being willing to stand up for me." More than the shield would ever know really. This the advisor needed too and hadn't realized because to him it was a way of saying that he was believed in which was sorely needed.

Slowly Ignis moved and sat upright to retrieve his glasses to put them back on. But he looked at the taller man first before doing so. "But I highly doubt an ass kicking would help in the situation."

What they were back home and what they were here on the Voidtrecker were two very different things. He hoped that Ignis would soon learn this lesson as Gladio had. Yes, they had been four parts of a whole back home. He'd said as much. They'd trained and worked toward being that. But here? Ignis had found his own mission parts. A family that should have been his priority over everything else. Including Noct and the rest of the Crownsguard. And while he knew that's what Ignis had been trying to do, he'd gone about doing it in the wrongest of ways.

"Yeah, he is. But he's broken up about it as well. If he didn't love you he wouldn't be miserable right now." Gladio pointed out and then he grinned again. "You're my friend, right?" He wasn't going to call himself a Shield. He wasn't there in that respect, he didn't make the offer with that in mind. Gladio was there as a friend and that alone.

So when Ignis pulled back, he waited for him to get his glasses on before he reached out again and dragged Ignis back into a hug. "The hell do you think you're going? I never said I was done. Maybe you're not the only one who needs a hug, Iggy?" And he kind of did. But none of this was about him and he would keep it that way. That didn't mean he wouldn't indulge himself and Ignis would damn well like it!

Concern for Tony touched the strategist's features. The man had been all Ignis had thought about, wondering if he'd eaten or taken his medication. But with the distance that had been put between them it made him wonder. He wanted Tony by his side, wanted it with everything in him. And the non communication was like a poison to his system because it wasn't like them to be that way.

"Of course you're my friend." Ignis answered without hesitation.

It was the first time Ignis had had any hope since this whole thing started. He could not begin piecing himself back together and be alright. It would be slow but now the advisor felt he could stand tall again and do what he needed to do.

A genuine laugh, this time without being tinged with tears or sadness escaped the usually serious advisor as he was tugged back in for a hug. But he deftly moved away only to turn around to give the shield a true hug. It was the best bear type hug he could do and it was very heartfelt.

"Thank you..for everything." Yes there were tears, no he didn't care.

He hadn't actually expected Ignis to hug him back. And when Ignis pulled away again, Gladio was all set to not try again. He'd only push so far, after all. But then he was very much taken by surprise when he was hugged. It actually took him a second to engage his brain enough that he was able to lift his arms and hug Ignis back fiercely. He held the other man close and tight, but always mindful of his own strength and his ability to bruise.

"You're welcome, Iggy." He spoke warmly and let his eyes fall closed. "Any time."

Gladio had been a very unexpected source of strength for Ignis. With this talk he felt like he could begin to stand back up straight and fix some of the things that had been suggested by Tony such as not leaning so heavily on him. So that was something he would fix.

That had been so very important with all that had gone down and with how scared it'd made Ignis, knowing that someone would reach out to him. The advisor had someone who would tell him he was wrong but that he wasn't as stupid as he'd thought himself to be. He was believed in and accepted and with how fragile he'd been, this meeting had been nothing short of incredibly healing.

Ignis gave of himself until he had nothing left and this was his recharge. Usually he wore himself out on missions, healing and helping until he collapsed. But now he could get back into the game so to speak. It wasn't a vast healing but it was a good start. And his thoughts as usual went back to Tony. How did they make this work? How could he heal the man and their relationship? How did they approach this? What did they need to do or say? He didn't want to be 'right' because even if he was 'right', he couldn't sit on the self righteousness and expect to 'win'. He'd rather lose horribly and retain the man. Or they could work on strategies together and find compromises and solutions instead of seeing only problems and issues.

The strategist was quiet for awhile, simply holding onto Gladio and mulling things over. It had been a very long time since the last time that they hugged like this and it only made him smile.

"Careful..I may take you up on that."

Edited 2020-04-21 08:35 (UTC)

"You're supposed to." Gladio replied easily. He'd been lost in his own thoughts, thoughts he knew he would eventually have to share. But for now he was content to hug a bit more. It was nice. It was... really nice. Back home he'd never had time for things like this. They had been few and far between. Only they weren't back home now and he had freedom enough to indulge. And he was damn well going to, because he didn't know when the next time Ignis would allow this would be.

He did eventually pull back though. And when he did he brought his hands up and caught Ignis' face between them. He made the other man look at him.

"Now... listen carefully.

Whatever front you out up for others. Pull that down around him. There is strength in weakness, Iggy. Screw duty. Screw what's respectable and what right. You wanna cry? Cry. You wanna scream? Scream. You wanna jump up and down on your bed like a five year old. I'll jump with you. Logic and reason be damned. It's time to let your feelings take the wheel. And that is how you're gonna fix this. Stop thinking and start feeling. And then go and find him, you tell him you love him, pin the bastard to a wall and kiss the hell out of him." At the end there he was grinning. "The Iggy I know and love wouldn't take any of this lying down. Go and fight for him. Not with your head but with your heart."

The shield couldn't see it but there was a warm smile on the advisor's face. Feeling Gladio tug on him to move back, Ignis did as well. Hugs were nice and he would have to try and keep them in mind for future reference. The support was indescribable, he felt both heard and understood which was something he would have to bring to Tony. He'd go in armed with a notebook and a pen and simply listen. The goal was not to argue anymore but to listen respectfully and work things out. If there was too much emotion he would make sure he was the very first one to offer to step back.

Suddenly though he found himself sandwiched between Gladio's huge hands and of course he knew the shield was just trying to get through.

Listening to the other now was practice for calmly listening to Tony. He heard the part about weakness even if it bugged him on a personal scale. There wouldn't be any crying or screaming..and then the jumping made him laugh just a little. Hearing the part about letting his feelings take the wheel..that was a bit tough and before Ignis could open his mouth he kept it shut. No, no argument or backtalk, this was for his own benefit that the shield was taking precious time away from Prompto to come find him and talk to him when he didn't have to.

There was a little more laughter at the advisor imagining himself letting loose like that and kissing Tony against a wall..but maybe there was some wisdom in that. Thinking allowed the freedom of more issues to come up or reasons to stay away as he had been doing. Stop thinking..that was going to be tough but he already had a really damn good reason to break down the walls and go and find the man hiding inside. Maybe Tony wasn't dressed in his iron armour, but Ignis was sure there was mental armor around the older man all the same. And he knew the other was hurting too. He'd figured as much but the shield had confirmed it and his heart ached more for Tony than himself.

His head slid down in Gladio's hands and he nodded, knowing that the 'no mercy' wisdom was more than likely the wisest course of action at first to break down the walls between them. But he was still going to bring that pen and paper and his patience.

"I suppose..I'm just worried if I go in he'll be angry and it will make things worse. Or he'll feel he hasn't been given enough time and my going in will ruin that." Ignis heaved a sigh and nodded.

"But I know you're right. I know wisdom when I hear it."

Edited 2020-04-21 19:47 (UTC)

"Give it a day." Gladio smiled as he let his hands drop from cupping Ignis' face to land gently, but heavily, upon his shoulders. "Think about all I've said. Really think about it, Iggy. I know it's hard. I know you've years of conditioning but... you've got a chance here. A chance to find out who you are outside of duty and a uniform. Who Ignis is. It's time to do all those things we always wanted to do but couldn't." And he was talking about himself here as well. Because all of his life he'd been the Shield. His own sense of duty was just as profound as Ignis', maybe even moreso, since he had a family of history behind his task. And a living legend of a Shield, his father, to live up to. He'd taken his task as the Kings Shield so seriously he'd risked his life with Gilgimesh, a son of a bitch who'd killed his fair share of Shields over the years, who had defeated Cor, and had managed to win because of his desire to be stronger... for Noct.

But that was something that never came up. Maybe it was his own fault? Maybe he didn't seem as serious about it as others. Gladio had thought that actions spoke louder than words. Feelings more than logic. He would have lived and died for his King and had no regrets.

Only now... Now they were away from Eos. Lucis didn't exist. Noct was just a normal man. And Gladio was able to do this simple things he had always wanted. Like gardening. Like falling in love.

"... You're not going to pay attention to that though. I know you won't." Gladio sighed and let his hands drop away. "You're too damn stubborn for your own good. But..." He smiled then. "Like I said. Give it a day. I'm going to talk with Tony as well. If he'd angry, let him take it out on me before he gets to you. I'll talk him down." At least, he hoped he could do that.

"Well..of course I would give him time." The problem was, was that Ignis had no idea how much time to give. A week? Two weeks? He'd overthought that to the point of if he gave too much time it might be easier to let things go. If he didn't give enough time contrariwise it could break.

And as he was chewing on that, his green eyes lifted to Gladio's face, truly listening. That was when his face fell. Who was he without a Noct to fuss over and protect? Who was that little boy without someone to take care of? Who was the man now in front of the shield unsure as to where to start? His whole life since he was six was wrapped up in duty and the king and court and Noctis and a few tears slid down his cheeks. He was bewildered and very very vulnerable. He didn't know who Ignis was without his duty. And it occurred to him that Tony had hit on similar veins, trying to find out something similar.

What..would he do with himself? Gladio was right, Ignis couldn't argue it. They were in essence free men to do whatever they needed to do. And it occurred to him to..have to do the horrible thing of asking Tony's help. He didn't mind if he himself was asked for help because that's what he knew. But now..the advisor knew he would have to ask. It was downright irritating at his pride but like the shield had also said..he had to drop his bullshit around the older man. It was certainly be a struggle but he was more than willing to work on it for their sake. He would add that to his notes as well.

He smiled and lowered his head for a moment as Gladio pronounced he wouldn't listen. He didn't want to, but for Tony's sake he knew he didn't have a choice. The dusty blonde head then shook, knowing he had to give in. But his gaze returned to the shield's face when the other stated he was going to go talk to Tony. And that put the strategist's head straight into a tizzy.

Reaching out, he touched Gladio's hand with his gloved one. "You don't..think he'd be angry you reached out first?" Ignis and worrying, they always went hand in hand.

"Sometimes a little push is needed, Iggy." Gladio spoke gently and moved his other hand to cover Ignis'. "Just like I'm here talking to you. Wouldn't be fair if I didn't extend the same courtesy to Tony." Maybe it would work, maybe not. But he needed to see. Because if he didn't, who would? It was one thing to go and listen to them and let either or both of them rant it out. But who was actually trying to help mend things between them? They sure as hell weren't doing it themselves.

"Like I said. Wait until tomorrow. He he doesn't come looking for you, go find him. But take the time to think about everything I said, alright? It's important." Because he wanted Ignis to think. Sure he'd said he needed to feel more. But to get there he needed to realise it for himself as well. He'd heard what Gladio needed to say, now all Ignis had to do was sort through it himself.

He really hoped the worry he felt inside wasn't reflected on his face. He was the cerebral advisor after all..but Ignis was more than sure that he was being pretty transparent right now. His hand gripped the Shield's, trying to find strength in the hold. He felt like he was falling apart worse with Gladio here, but that wasn't really true. This man with him was helping him find his courage and helping him heal.

The dusty blonde head nodded as he listened to the instructions. Tony had always gone to find him and it was time it was reciprocated. Finally it lowered in humility and he sought the words that wouldn't come without some emotion as his grip tightened again.

"Thank you..for everything."

"You're welcome, Igs. That's what friends are for, right?" Gladio grinned... And then he pulled a hand out from under Ignis' and hooked him around the neck, pulling the man against him. "So stop looking like a kicked puppy! You've got some hope here! Stop damn well thinking of all the bad things and start looking at the silver lining here."

With Ignis in the headlock, Gladio smirked and went ahead and ruffled the advisors hair. He couldn't look all stiff and proper with his hair all a mess! Plus he knew damn well it was a good look on Ignis.

"You'll get your man back. Even if I have to lock the two of you in a room until you've sorted it out and one of you come out knocked up." Gladio was laughing heartily, he was very deliberately trying to get a reaction from Ignis. Get him out of his head a little.

One day Ignis was going to stop crying, but it was not this day. Suddenly he found himself in a head lock and there was playful growling as his hair was ruffled. That hair was the equivalent to a rooster's comb and he fussed. But as he considered the shield's words he grunted. He didn't feel as if he'd had much hope until Gladio decided to offer to go in and do what needed done.

And then at hearing about being knocked up, the advisor finally let out a genuine laugh. Oh it felt so good to get that out and it reminded him of conversations he'd had with Tony regarding that very topic. It was if he'd put those talks away in a box and locked them up with other dreams he'd had to shelve. Except this time they were no longer in a cage.

If there was ever a time the strategist felt 'free' it was now. Finally when he stopped laughing long enough to recover his voice there was still a chortle in the tone. "The joke I'm afraid is on you for that one."

Gladio outright grinned. "Don't doubt it." Well, maybe he was a bit surprised, but given what he knew about Tony and his flirtatious manner, and the sly looks Ignis had sported over the last few weeks when saying nothing at all, Gladio could hazard a guess that their conversations and habits were not entirely innocent.

Not that he really wanted to know the details.

He gave Ignis' hair another ruffle, just for good luck, and then let him go. "Much better look on you!" He declared, laughing.

He didn't try to move out of the headlock, as this was Gladio's way to play. Roughhousing had always seemed to be his style. And even if at times Ignis didn't understand it, (because who in their right mind played with a smart kid in place to protect the future king? Children weren't really around due to Noct being who he was, and children would shy away from him because if they hurt him, he could go report it to the prince and king and they'd be in Big Trouble.) he envied the shield's ability to drop all pretenses and roll around on the ground. The only one who would play with Ignis was Noct and there wasn't much physical roughhousing. Tickling yes, but wrestling no because the advisor as a child had worried about Noct's back injury.

So he grunted through receiving the hair ruffle and was let go of. Ignis gave Gladio a disenchanted look, but it was covering up how much he'd needed to be 'told' he was loved and needed. "I'll endeavour to keep that in mind." That came out in typical Ignis deadpan, but there was a smile at the shield in the green eyes.

"You do that." Gladio smiled and began pulling away, sliding out of the seat to get to his feet. He was pretty sure he was done here. He still had people he needed to speak to after all, and Ignis clearly wasn't feeling as chatty as he had been a minute ago. Maybe he'd pushed a little more than he should have done? He'd remember in future.

"I'll go check on Tony now. I'll see you later, Iggy." He stepped out of the room and closed the door quietly behind him. He knew he'd probably given the advisor a lot to think about. Time to himself would help with that. Gladio took a deep sigh and closed his eyes for a moment, he could feel a headache brewing but knew he needed to get this done before he lost what energy he'd gotten from that world.

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Egret 26. It's time to talk.

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