Movie Marathon! Open, BYOP

[yep_stilldead]

Who: Ivy and whoever else comes by the theater to join in.
Where: The theater car.
When: Afternoon into late evening.
What: Ivy discovers movies.
Warnings: The movies are bad.

When the opportunity to watch movies came to the train, few were as excited as Ivy. Finally, some amazing new technology to get caught up on! And ones that let you enjoy thrilling stories brought to life in the comfort of your own train! What could be better?

Thusly did Ivy end up picking movies off the metaphorical shelf to watch, completely at random, back to back. A whole evening of movies, with no idea what kind of movies there are, or how to find the good ones. As a result, the ones she found were... not exactly high art. To Ivy, though, every movie is a breathtaking experience, like nothing she's ever seen. No matter how bad, she'll get completely hooked by the story, reacting with shock, laughter, terror, or despair as the roller coaster of camp demands.

So join us, tonight, for a four-movie festival of mediocrity. The lineup;

One Night in America
Comedy. A French college student in love must go to America to meet his internet girlfriend in real life, hijinks ensue. Expert weird exaggerated American stereotypes, bad acting, and nonsensical plot contrivances. Ivy has no idea what's going on, but it's still the funniest thing she's ever seen.

Brutal Instinct
Action. Following the deaths of his family, a retired FBI agent is injected with a serum that gives him superhuman speed and strength, which he uses to seek revenge on the crime syndicate responsible. Can he use his beast-like power without succumbing to the Brutal Instinct(TM) driving him mad as he continues to fight? Low budget and bloody, Ivy seems distressed and a bit overwhelmed but can't look away.

A Commoner’s Christmas
Romance. The daughter of a self-made billionaire is forced by circumstance to spend Christmas at a cabin out in the country with no wifi and no phone service. She's ready to be miserable until she meets Buck, a gorgeous but humble farm boy who mistakes her for royalty, and she's dragged into a web of lies and misunderstandings. This was definitely made for TV but Ivy cried at the ending.

Killer Scarecrow
Horror. There's a scarecrow that kills people. Honestly, this one went through so many reshoots and edits that the plot is borderline incomprehensible. Is it a demon possessing a scarecrow? Is it a ghost looking for revenge? Does it have a psychic link to the little girl who just stops appearing completely in the third act? It's impossible to say, but there's lots of scarecrow-related murders. Ivy spends most of this one hiding behind her seat in terror.

[[OOC: This is a super open log! If you want, you can respond directly to talk to Ivy during any of these, or you can just show up to the party and do an open toplevel for other people to join in on. Either way, when starting a thread, be sure to specify what movie is on at the time.]]

Comments

Commoner's Christmas

[les_magique]

[As a theater patron, Samata is fully familiar with this kind of story, even if the format is...strange. Right before the start of the final act, however, she can't hold it in anymore.]

Why would Buck ask PRISCILLA to the square dance festival! She doesn't even LIKE square dancing!

I'm not even sure what square dancing is but it's Amber's last chance to tell Buck who she really is!

[yep_stilldead]

It's not about square dancing! [Ivy also has no idea what square dancing is.] Bucky thinks that Amber's too good for him, so he's making a decision to force himself to stop pursuing her!

[les_magique]

Oh what, and Priscilla's NOT too snooty for him!? He thinks they're both princesses!

[yep_stilldead]

Oh, right.

Maybe... Oh! Maybe it's because he learned that Amber is leaving soon, and he can't bear the heartbreak!

[les_magique]

It must be! He doesn't know about the tension between her and her father, after all!

Oh Buck you need to see the real Amber!

[yep_stilldead]

If she doesn't say something soon, it'll all be over! She'll never see him again!

Oh, are all movies like this? I can't take the suspense!

[les_magique]

I've never seen a movie before, but I have seen plays that felt a lot like this...

[yep_stilldead]

Oh, isn't it amazing? I had never seen a movie before, either! It's like if you could watch a play any time, and it was just like it was really happening!

[les_magique]

Oh yes! Instead of a single wooden cutout of a tree to denote that the scene is taking place in the woods, they can actually create a whole forest! I have to wonder how it works.

[yep_stilldead]

That's always the tricky part, isn't it? I would assume it's magic, but with these sorts of things it never turns out to be magic.

[les_magique]

It doesn't look like any kind of magic I've seen before but that doesn't-

Wait shut up something happening.

[Buck and Amber are standing ten feet apart on a dark street while getting snowed on, staring at each other meaningfully while struggling to find the right words!]

[yep_stilldead]

[Ivy grips the back of the seat in front of her - or at least, sort of pretends to - while watching intently, speaking in a hushed whisper.]

Come on, Amber! You have to tell him the truth for your love to blossom!

Brutal Instinct

[sacrament_of_blood]

[While Merciless had heard of movies, they were more of a thing of the past, though there had been hopes for reviving them eventually. So when she had entered the carriage and saw the movie playing, she had watched out of curiosity. More than once, she had made observations about the lack of fighting skill of the movie's characters, but otherwise she was rapt. Every time the main character killed a criminal, she cheered. Every time he struggled with his new instincts, she rooted for him to prevail over them.]

[mtsilver_conquor]

"Real blood really doesn't work like that," Eva quips when one of the deaths results in a spray of blood that goes on for too long. That aside, Eva is honestly fascinated with the movie and not at all disgusted by the blood and gore. It's too fake looking in her opinion.

"Otherwise, that was actually a pretty decent fight scene, but overkill on blood spray."

[sacrament_of_blood]

"Yes, if someone bled like that, I would be wary for if they are using some sort of blood manipulation art. I bleed about that much for some of my techniques. And, yes, it was a better fight than the usual for this movie."

[mtsilver_conquor]

Eva blinks, but far from looking disgusted or grossed out, she just looks curious.

"Blood manipulation art- magic, you mean?"

Killer Scarecrow

[iamnotgod]

[Webmind is not the most subtle when it comes to movie commentary; back home, Caitlin Decter could attest to this.

Alas, here, there is no one to stop him.]

Ivy? Are you alright?

Though I must confess the video quality is about as abhorrent as what the movie is showing, when it comes to that...

[yep_stilldead]

It's terrible! I can't bear to watch!

Just tell me, is the scarecrow still in the house?

[iamnotgod]

... It is on the house, now.

Or superimposed on the roof; I am having difficulty telling.

[His confusion only partially comes through in his voice, but it's there.]

[yep_stilldead]

That's even worse! It could show up anywhere, at any time!

[iamnotgod]

... Marvin just tripped over a television set.

The scarecrow isn't in that room right now.

[Webmind is quick to assure; poor Marvin's been having the worst sense of balance this entire film. The soundtrack still jolts at his fall, though.]

[yep_stilldead]

[Ivy peeks back at the movie.]

Say, do you think they'll beat the scarecrow? Is there even a way to beat it?

[iamnotgod]

If it is anything like previous movies of this stripe I have encountered, it may simply move on to another house at the end of the movie.

[Though that's not very reassuring...]

Or they'll have to burn down the house to be rid of it.

[yep_stilldead]

Well, they'd better! One house would be a small price to pay to get rid of such an awful creature!

[iamnotgod]

... I have to agree.

[Especially as the youngest child of the family appears to have found a lighter, of all things.]

If my second theory is correct, we don't have much more of this film left.

[A window gets smashed by the scarecrow!]

[yep_stilldead]

[Ivy shrieks, and hides back behind the seat.]

Why is it there?! You said it was on the roof!!

[iamnotgod]

I believe they're luring it into the house proper.

[As the rest of the family is haphazardly fleeing the house. It's quite uncoordinated, but at least something seems to have caught fire...?]

[yep_stilldead]

I can't watch! Just tell me if they beat the scarecrow or not!

[You'd think a ghost would be better with horror...]

[iamnotgod]

[There's a few respectful minutes of silence from Webmind - during which there are many smashing-and-screaming sounds from the film - before:]

The scarecrow may or may not have died, but it certainly got burned.

It's left now.

There may be a post-credits scene, though.

[Or an attempt at one, rather.]

[yep_stilldead]

[It would be easier to conclusively say what happened if the original footage for the Scarecrow's death scene hadn't been lost in a tragic fishing accident two days before filming ended.]

Movies are so much to take in... do people really enjoy this sort of thing in the future...?

[iamnotgod]

[Yes, quite. One of the stills that flashed by may have been drawn by one of the production staff's actual children...?]

Yes, though how they express their enjoyment tends to vary.

Some enjoy complaining about what they watch as they watch it, for example, while others prefer it to be a quieter experience.

[Webmind flashes a 'bemused' emoticon on his face at that part.]

[yep_stilldead]

I hope those people are fine with waiting until I'm more used to movies. There's no way I could watch something like this quietly!

[iamnotgod]

I suppose the best way to put it is to say that 'those people' will simply have to deal.

[Webmind flashes a winking emoji, this time.]

Usually I am the one being told to keep my proverbial mouth shut, however. My supposition is that you will be fine.

Commoner's Christmas

[draconite]

[ Given that the theater car is not, in fact, an actual opera theater, Bryn's had zero interest in it. But she hears the siren call of cheesy romance music just as the movie starts up and practically flies to the door. ]

What– what is this? What are you watching?

[ SHE NEEDS HER AWFUL HETERO ROMANCE FIX ]

Re: Commoner's Christmas

[yep_stilldead]

Oh, Bryn! It's called a 'movie', and it's wonderful! You just have to give it a try!

[draconite]

[ That's all the prompting Bryn needs to come zooming in, almost skidding onto her knees as she throws herself down in front of the TV. She's close enough that she's probably going to get terrible eyestrain but eh, she's already lost of one her eyes, so what's one more? ]

Amazing! It's like– oh goodness, is this some sort of theater performance? But it's performed in real locations instead of a stage...!

[yep_stilldead]

Yes, yes! And you can watch it any time you want! I don't have the faintest idea it works, but isn't it amazing?

[draconite]

But that's incredible!

[ She looks fit to bubble over with excitement. ]

You mean to say, you can simply watch it over and over, as many times as you like?

[yep_stilldead]

[ And this is where we remember that Ivy is not, in fact, an expert on home video. ]

Er... Well, I suppose you might be able to do that. I haven't really tried.

[draconite]

[ she sure as shit knows more than bryn. whether or not this is damning with faint praise is entirely up to you, dear reader. ]

Then, shall we experiment a bit? I'd love to know how all of this works!

[yep_stilldead]

Not yet! I think Buck's finally fallen for Amber!

[ Some things are more important than uncovering the secrets of technology. ]

[draconite]

[ Her attention IMMEDIATELY snaps back to the TV. ]

What took him so long?! Wasn't it already obvious the two of them are meant to be together?!