YUNA. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kabe) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
voidtreckerexpress2020-05-29 08:10 am
kabe) wrote in voidtreckerexpress2020-05-29 08:10 am
Entry tags:
( closed )
Who: Yuna and Tidus blitzcheer
What: Feelings and emotions
When: 15th day of fiddlesticks
Where: Cabin 7:A
Warnings: None
( yuna wasn't always the best at confrontation, nor did she have much experience when it came to relationships and love. tidus was or had been the first person she had kissed, the first person she fell in love with, and the person who saved her life. he was the wind beneath her wings and his dedication to her pilgrimage two years ago was admirable. so why was she feeling so low about where they stood and what they were? hadn't they silently agreed they would be for each other all those months ago? and yet when they were finally reunited, he simply referred to her as his 'friend'.
she was his good old buddy, equal to wakka or anyone on the besaid aurochs. yet he would say and do things that were far too intimate for friends. hand-holding, telling her that he missed her, that he wanted to cook for them. it was sweet and tidus was far too charming for her own enjoyment- especially if they were only friends. which was something yuna didn't want or rather if that's what he wanted, then it was time to put down some boundaries.
the past couple of days after the mission had ended, yuna had spent it alone trying to think about something else. she would talk with people here and there, and go about exploring the train. whenever she passed tidus, she simply moved on without saying much. it wasn't until she finally couldn't stand it that she pulled tidus from whatever he was doing and walked him to her cabin. thankfully it was empty for once, a bit of a mess left by the others she shared the cabin with. )
We.....we need to talk.
blitzcheerWhat: Feelings and emotions
When: 15th day of fiddlesticks
Where: Cabin 7:A
Warnings: None
( yuna wasn't always the best at confrontation, nor did she have much experience when it came to relationships and love. tidus was or had been the first person she had kissed, the first person she fell in love with, and the person who saved her life. he was the wind beneath her wings and his dedication to her pilgrimage two years ago was admirable. so why was she feeling so low about where they stood and what they were? hadn't they silently agreed they would be for each other all those months ago? and yet when they were finally reunited, he simply referred to her as his 'friend'.
she was his good old buddy, equal to wakka or anyone on the besaid aurochs. yet he would say and do things that were far too intimate for friends. hand-holding, telling her that he missed her, that he wanted to cook for them. it was sweet and tidus was far too charming for her own enjoyment- especially if they were only friends. which was something yuna didn't want or rather if that's what he wanted, then it was time to put down some boundaries.
the past couple of days after the mission had ended, yuna had spent it alone trying to think about something else. she would talk with people here and there, and go about exploring the train. whenever she passed tidus, she simply moved on without saying much. it wasn't until she finally couldn't stand it that she pulled tidus from whatever he was doing and walked him to her cabin. thankfully it was empty for once, a bit of a mess left by the others she shared the cabin with. )
We.....we need to talk.
no subject
Or different. Different's a more suited word, fits everything about his life as it is. Different routines, different goals, whatever they were meant to be; what he did day to day and how he could live his life, and his relationship with Yuna too was...
Of course it was going to change. It's been two years for her, nothing for him, and in that time, she's changed. Still the girl he knows in some ways, but in others, he sees what he's lost. The way Spira's developed beyond him, the adventures she's been having. The dress-spheres, the way that she acts, looks. Deep down she's still Yuna, and most of the way to the surface too. A certain kind of joy that no one else manages to inspire in him every time he sees her, or hear her speak. The one girl that makes him want to look twice at her just because he can, taking in the shape of her face, how her smile and her eyes look that day. From that angle, under this particular light.
...but even when things are different, other things are still the same. He's still a dream--and he'll still leave her, in the end.
So if different is a bad thing, Tidus doesn't know. He doesn't try to question it too deeply, when she walks on, when their conversation end short. Yuna's different, and he knows that-- that their relationship has to be different too, from what they wanted. What he wanted before he found out what would happen to him. What he hoped and dreamed about.
He swallows down the reminders, and just tells himself it's for the best. Yuna's got her own life, and he's not going to get in the way. If she gets bored of him, moves on, then maybe that's for the best too. Just don't think about it.
But he'll always be there when she calls, and when she asks for him that day, Tidus follows her into the cramped sleeper room. No expectations on his mind, and he looks at her curiously when she speaks. ]
What's up?
[ Unassuming, casual but listening. Did she hear something? ]
no subject
in these moments however, shimmers of yuna's true personality shown through. her movements were gentle, her face held that mature expression it once did and her voice was soft like in the days they traveled together. she took a seat down on one of the lower beds, prompting tidus to do the same if he wished. )
I....Do you remember what I told you before you left us? When I stood on that ship and I tried hugging you before you left?
( the strong and powerful deceleration that came from yuna in those moments were forever. she still loved him, and she was madly in love with him. he meant the world to her and he was her sunshine.
so even if he didn't want her, even if it hurt, she would learn to get over it. for now though, she wanted answers an explanation as to why he was acting this way. was he rejecting her? afraid to be seen with her or embarrassed? )
no subject
Right now, they rest on his lap, curling in closer together when she speaks. His head tipping, gaze lowering.
He knew this was a conversation he isn't ready to face. ]
...I remember. [ I love you. Words he can't repeat, even under the context of being hers. But that's why he can't, and there's a small panic in him: that she'll take them away, and that's what he wanted, except--
Quietly. Not to his face.
He doesn't look up. ]
no subject
( yuna took a deep breath, her face becoming slightly red from the overwhelming emotions flowing through her. how could she explain just how much he meant to her? what would be the right words to use to get across her message? )
I meant that I'd love you forever.
( she leaned forward a bit [not too much considering her space] staring directly at tidus whether or not he matched her gaze eventually. she won't touch him in this moments, instead she simply folded her hands tightly together. )
I was under the impression that you felt the same way, considering what we did in Lake Macalania.
( although that moment was many months ago, yuna could still feel the intense emotions she had that day. the fear that bubbled inside of her chest, the worry of failing the people of spira. tidus had approached her at her worst and helped to comfort her, placing the most tender of kisses on her person. it was enough to make her want to cry all over again-
but she won't. she had to be strong, for them. )
no subject
[ He looks, unable to help himself: the need to assure it, the way the words escape his mouth without needing to think. His eyes catch in hers, and at once it's painful: a pang in his chest that makes him frown, his brow creasing. Everything about her a reminder of what he wants, but-
Tidus swallows, gaze dipping to her hands, then down to the tiny space between their legs. ]
...I'm not gonna be there when you get back, [ he says bitterly. ] Even if I'm here now, I'm still just...
[ He grimaces, sliding his arms down his lap, quiet as he allows himself a few seconds before the inevitable.
And with his arms already exposed, he twist the wrist with his purple strap SCA in indication. ]
I took it off the day we got here. I... I started fading, like back then. I got it back on, but--
[ But. ]
...Nothing's changed about me.
no subject
at any given time he could disappear. if something were to accidentally cause damage to the strap and they were unable to repair it [because who could they really turn to, the train?], then he would leave.
regardless of that, either of them could leave at anytime. be sent home at random and lose their memories in between all of that. however to yuna this meant they should unite even more-
because if their moments together are this limited and can easily be taken away, then why not explore their relationship more? do things they've never done before it was too late. )
That doesn't matter Tidus I....
( she says, her eyes becoming glossed with moisture. )
I will still cherish these moments we have together and even if you do end up leaving, we can still be together. Unless you no longer....want to be associated with me.
no subject
He wishes--he wishes everything wasn't like that moment: fleeting, gradually fading before his eyes. That he could grasp onto the possibility of a future like he did with her and the pilgrimage, that there was a way to save her, them. That it didn't feel like everything would slip between his fingers if he even hoped.
Because any second, it could disappear. Any second, he would have to give it up. ]
Of course I do, Yuna. [ He takes her hands, the sight of them empty too much; sliding his fingers into her palms and holding them tight. ] You're always going to be the one person who means the most to me! I don't have anyone else! You-- you changed so much about me.
[ Her, the journey -- who would he have been with neither? But he's a dead man either way, a two year ghost of her past. And those hands -- he's always loved the strength of them, so easier to look at than a face that reveals everything he isn't.
The future. The present.
He has to protect them both. ]
I want to get you back. I wanna protect you until we do. You-- you deserve to be back home with everyone. You don't deserve to be here! I want...
I want you to live your life. I want you to be happy.
[ He squeezes her fingers tighter, his words turning quiet. ]
I'll always be...watching you. Always.
no subject
( once the shy, submissive summoner, she was more demanding of things for herself. she stood up for herself now, and didn't allow anyone to use her for their own means. he had given her the strength to realize it was okay for her to be her own person.
not just the vessel that brought a moment of happiness to the people of spira.
with her hands taken in by tidus, she lowered her head to glance at them. hearing his words, she understood what he was getting at. that he loved her in spirit but physically? here now? he would not be with her to protect her.
something she felt she didn't need. )
So that's it. You're giving up? Shouldn't we take advantage of these moments together?
no subject
Like that, her hands become brittle in his--or like that, his hold of them become weak. What can he say? He wishes he had an answer, some hope that he could give; but his throat closes, his shoulders tighten with tension. They'll be happy for a while, and then what?
The end will come again. The same goodbye will repeat all over again.
Yuna gave him courage that time, reminding him in those last few moments why he could be happy to leave. But here, the fear is stronger than it had ever been before, the view of his hands less real than they'd been losing their touch. He withdraws them from her, at a loss for anything to say, sitting in a silence that weighs heavier on him by the second.
Tidus stands, head turning aside and refusing to meet her eye. ]
We're still friends, aren't we? We can still be together -- like that. [ Despite the effort to make them lighthearted, positive, his words ring hollow, painful to even hear himself say. ] We'll make the most of it.
[ He's never felt so pathetic. ]