voidtreckerexpress | (open) i don't know how to word it

Who: Inigo and you!
When: Fiddlesticks 27
Where: Sleeper carriages, luggage carriage
What: Inigo loses a boyfriend.
Warnings: None, just a very sad Inigo.

( scenario a - sleeper carriages )

Maybe you've already noticed it, but something about Inigo today seems.. off. Or at least, extra off, considering Inigo has already seemed to be acting more strangely than usually the past few days, especially since the day of the party.

But today? Today things have seemed to reach a fever pitch. Maybe you're worried enough to go check up on him, in which case you might find the guy in one of the hallways of the sleeper carriages, near his room. If you bother to ask him what's up though, he'll just laugh.

"What? No, I'm fine! Of course I'm fine, what could po--"

That's the exact moment he turns to head into his room to try and hide from this conversation, only to forget to scan his ticket. Which means he's just walking head-first into the door, causing him to topple over to the ground.

It's fine. He's fine. This is fine.

( scenario b - luggage carriage )

Inigo is trying really hard to carry on as usually. Really, he is. Because that's just what he does. He's not someone who sits around and mopes. Sure, the circumstances here may be different than the ones back home, but old habits are hard to give up, and Inigo's oldest and most stubborn habit is definitely the thought running through his mind that he has to be okay. He has to be strong. So despite the moments where he slips up and seems off, he tries so hard to laugh. And joke. As if nothing is up.

As if he doesn't feel like his heart has been torn straight out of his body.

But it's so hard to keep it up all the time. At least the shower is a good place to cry, but when Inigo finds it occupied exactly at the moment he needs it, he quickly tries to look for another place. He knows nowhere on the train is safe to hide from everyone, but he figures the luggage carriage is at least the furthest out of the way. It's the only option right now. It's either that, or crying in the middle of the train.

Which is why if you happen to be in the luggage carriage - or went looking for him everywhere only to end up here - you may find Inigo sitting on top of some suitcases. His knees are drawn up to his chest, and although that makes it impossible to see his face from the current angle, the telltale sounds of sobs are probably all anyone needs to see what's going on here.

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He feels a bit guilty that his words made Inigo cry like that, but he just holds him again, letting him cry until he calms. Inigo is in a lot of pain, and if this is all Taiki can do to help then he doesn't mind holding Inigo all day.

The words twist in his heart though. He is glad he has brought happiness to Inigo, but he doesn't think he deserves praise for it. He hasn't done anything. Even now with Inigo sobbing in his arms he can't do more than hold him, try and take some of that pain away.

He doesn't want to think about leaving, about anyone leaving. He doesn't want to be here. Or rather he can't be here. He needs to be in Tai. He and Gyousou need to return, to put things right. But leaving here... That is no guarantee they will return to Tai.

And even then... What Inigo is asking is impossible. For all Taiki knows people don't know when they will leave. He doesn't want to hurt Inigo, but nor will he lie to him.

"If it is within my power, I will never leave you without saying goodbye." He finally said, softly into Inigo's hair.

"You really couldn't tell an obvious lie just to make me feel a bit better, huh..?"

He's trying really hard to make it sound like a joke as he lifts up his face to look at Taiki, but it's hard to pull off jokes when he's been crying so hard. Even now his voice sounds choked, the tears still visible on his cheeks. At least it doesn't sound accusatory in the slightest - it's so much like Taiki to be realistic, even at a moment like this. Even when Inigo just really wants someone to pat his hair and tell him everything is going to be fine, even though nothing is ever fine. Nothing has been fine for years.

".. Thank you, though." He means that. "Even just that already means a lot to me. That you wouldn't willingly abandon me without a word."

Because even while logic dictates that it's not what Yuki did, or will do if Inigo watches him walk off the platform.. It still feels a little like it in the parts of his heart that have been weakened by constant rejection.

"Sorry..." He looked down, "Kirin can't... We don't really lie." They could. He had proven that. But it felt wrong, wasn't something he liked doing. Was not something he would do to a friend when there was no reason to.

He nodded though, it was as much as he could promise and he was glad Inigo accepted that. Because it was true, he would never want to leave Inigo without saying goodbye. But the world rarely worked like that, there were many people he never got to say goodbye to.

He hugs him again, as if he could transfer some last bit of strength to him. "We can stay here for a bit..." Since he doubts Inigo wants to wander out with eyes red from crying.

"But then you should get something to eat." And rest somewhere that's not a pile of suitcases.

There's a slight nod when Taiki says they can stay here for a bit. The other is right - Inigo really doesn't want to leave this carriage while he's still looking like such a mess. His hair messed up, his face stained, his eyes red from crying.. that's not any way he wants anyone to see him. He already feels a little bad showing it to Taiki and probably making the other feel worse as-is. But he definitely doesn't want to leave here before he's at least sure he's done crying for the moment.

.. Or maybe he doesn't want to leave here at all, since the next part of Taiki's suggestion doesn't sound nearly as good.

He bends to lean his head against Taiki's shoulder again.

"I don't feel like eating," he mumbles.

"Okay." His arms held him a little tighter. "You don't have to... If you don't want." He knows that it was important that Inigo eat, crying took energy after all. But also he isn't going to force him. Forcing someone to eat was not something he would do.

"I'll stay with you." He promised, "As long as you want... Though you can tell me to go away, if you need to be alone."

His hand smoothed the back of Inigo's hair softly, soothing him.

"No.."

He mumbles again, pressing himself even further against Taiki, to a point where Inigo almost seems like he's just boneless at this point.

"You don't need to go away. I'd never want you to go away."

There are moments where Inigo might prefer to be by himself to try and hide his pain.. But he knows that even at those moments, he secretly wishes that he had some company. Someone to lean on. Usually quite literally, considering how much he likes physical affection.

So he's more than fine with just staying like this for a while, as long as it won't trouble Taiki.

"Let's just.. stay like this for a while. Then I might start to feel better." Even if it may not exactly be the most comfortable spot to sit around.

"Okay." He nodded, stroking his hair gently. "We can stay here as long as you need." He would stay. He would sit here until they ended up back in their beds in the morning if that's what it took. He wouldn't leave Inigo until Inigo was ready.

It's not much, but it is all he can do to try and soothe his pain.

(open) i don't know how to word it

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