(open) i don't know how to word it

[flatteries]

Who: Inigo and you!
When: Fiddlesticks 27
Where: Sleeper carriages, luggage carriage
What: Inigo loses a boyfriend.
Warnings: None, just a very sad Inigo.

( scenario a - sleeper carriages )

Maybe you've already noticed it, but something about Inigo today seems.. off. Or at least, extra off, considering Inigo has already seemed to be acting more strangely than usually the past few days, especially since the day of the party.

But today? Today things have seemed to reach a fever pitch. Maybe you're worried enough to go check up on him, in which case you might find the guy in one of the hallways of the sleeper carriages, near his room. If you bother to ask him what's up though, he'll just laugh.

"What? No, I'm fine! Of course I'm fine, what could po--"

That's the exact moment he turns to head into his room to try and hide from this conversation, only to forget to scan his ticket. Which means he's just walking head-first into the door, causing him to topple over to the ground.

It's fine. He's fine. This is fine.

( scenario b - luggage carriage )

Inigo is trying really hard to carry on as usually. Really, he is. Because that's just what he does. He's not someone who sits around and mopes. Sure, the circumstances here may be different than the ones back home, but old habits are hard to give up, and Inigo's oldest and most stubborn habit is definitely the thought running through his mind that he has to be okay. He has to be strong. So despite the moments where he slips up and seems off, he tries so hard to laugh. And joke. As if nothing is up.

As if he doesn't feel like his heart has been torn straight out of his body.

But it's so hard to keep it up all the time. At least the shower is a good place to cry, but when Inigo finds it occupied exactly at the moment he needs it, he quickly tries to look for another place. He knows nowhere on the train is safe to hide from everyone, but he figures the luggage carriage is at least the furthest out of the way. It's the only option right now. It's either that, or crying in the middle of the train.

Which is why if you happen to be in the luggage carriage - or went looking for him everywhere only to end up here - you may find Inigo sitting on top of some suitcases. His knees are drawn up to his chest, and although that makes it impossible to see his face from the current angle, the telltale sounds of sobs are probably all anyone needs to see what's going on here.

Comments

[callmegladio]

Gladio nodded, it sounded about right. Just talk about chocobo's, put a positive spin on it all. No need to bother anyone with the little details.

"It's beautiful there... But dangerous." Gladio stepped through the door and continued their walk through toward the kitchen. "We'd left home, the four of us, to take Noct to meet this Princess. They were supposed to get married. Not long after that... our city was destroyed." Gladio took a deep breath and sighed, frowning deeply. "There was supposed to be peace talks. But it was all a ploy to get beyond the city's shields. After that... we were less travelling and more on the run. Everywhere we turned they'd be there, hounding us..."

"As beautiful as our world is, it's not without it's problems. An enemy nation slowly trying to take over the world. My city, Insomnia, was the last one standing against them. And with us running around with the King... they needed him." But he'd left for the train before the real chaos started. He didn't see the things the others had. Ardyn. Altissia. Luna's death.

"It's weird, isn't it? For all the dangers, if someone offered me a way back home, I'd probably take it." Because he missed it. He missed his sister. He missed not being trapped in a tin can. Gladio's lips quirked into a smile then. "Point I#m getting at is, after leaving home, camping was a way of life then. It was our only home. Stopped being a hobby and more a necessity." Aside from the times when they were so damn tired they'd fork out for a motel. But with money tight, it had been camping most of the time. "Between fighting for our lifes, there wasn't much time to enjoy things... Even Noct's fishing stopped being for fun, he fished so we ate that night."

[flatteries]

"I don't think it's that odd." Wanting to go back to a place that's dangerous, he means. Inigo may not necessarily feel the same - after all, even if he does go home, he'll eventually just have to vanish off to somewhere and change his identity once they defeat Grima, considering new baby versions of all of them will be born - but he can understand it. There are things - people - he really misses too, after all.

But he keeps it at that, letting Gladio finish speaking otherwise. Especially since.. well, that last part hits really close to home, though Inigo makes sure to smile and not betray as much.

"I'm sorry to hear that. It must have been hard, not having the time to stop and enjoy things." Ha... haaaah... "Although.. at least all of you were together. That must have been a good thing, right?"

[callmegladio]

Gladio laughed as they finally reached the kitchen and he moved into it to fill the kettle with water and get it boiling.

"It's not about stopping and enjoying myself. You can do that no matter what you do. Fighting beside a friend? That can feel just as good as taking time to sit and relax. We all do what we can to make the best of every situation." He half turned to look over at Inigo. "I'm just trying to tell you... you can keep hiding all you want, kid. But from one warrior to another, you're not doing yourself any favours pretending." Was it obvious Inigo was pretending? No. For a long while he'd had Gladio fooled. But he'd had some suspicions. This conversation just made him realise he was right to be suspicious. He just didn't know why.

[flatteries]

At first Inigo isn't quite sure what to do - either sit down or help Gladio out with maybe grabbing something to have with that tea. But then Gladio speaks up, and those words are very much enough to make Inigo want to hide right away. And that's a lot easier to do while he's busy pretending to be looking for some snacks then while sitting down, so looking around the cupboards it is.

Not that he can fully hide that way.. He knows he has to at least say something in reply to Gladio's words. But what can he say? It doesn't feel like Gladio is the type to let him weasel his way out of this one.

"What do you think I'm pretending?" He ends up saying, not looking at Gladio and instead looking around the kitchen. It's at least not a full on rejection of what the man is saying - Inigo knows Gladio is at least on to something here that he can't get away with denying. But it helps a lot more to see what he could still possibly shove under the rug depending on what Gladio has realised.

[callmegladio]

"Everything." Gladio replied mildly. He'd pulled mugs down and found the tea bags. Shaking out first one and then the other, he smiled softly down into the mugs.

"I'm not calling you out so you spill your soul to me, kid. I like you. You've got a good heart. And you're tough. I can see that. But..." Gladio dropped the bags into the mugs and reached for the sugar. He liked his tea sweet. "... Keeping stuff bottled up will hurt you. Leaves a scar on that soul of yours. Wounds way deeper than you'd give them credit for. Eventually wounds like that'll tear you apart. It almost did me." Gladio had bottled so much up, even before the train. Once he was trapped on the train with nowhere to go, he'd been forced to confront it all and had fallen into a downward spiral of depression that had taken him a while to crawl out of. And it had hurt...

[flatteries]

Apparently Inigo has managed to find a cookie jar after looking around for a bit. Of course there's very little cookies left in it with all the moochers here on the train - Inigo included - but he sticks his hand in to quickly shove a cookie into his mouth all the same, giving him an excuse to not immediately answer.

At least he's nice enough to shove the jar over in Gladio's direction as well in case he wants one - and it's not even meant as part of the distraction, Inigo would just feel guilty chowing down all by himself.

"It's better this way," he finally ends up saying when his mouth has cleared up again. "I don't want people to have to feel sorry for me."

For Yuki disappearing, at the moment, but also for everything in general. His dead parents. Him fighting for his life every day since he was so young. Traveling to a past where he would have no life left after saving the world, the fact that he's a total disappointment in the eyes of his father, the Exalt.. All of which he's completely tried to sweep under the carpet.

"Better me getting hurt than anyone else."

[callmegladio]

Gladio glanced to he side when he noticed Inigo shoving something at him. He smiled, half turned and reached into the jar to take one of the cookies. "Thank you." Instead of eating it though, he set it on the counter. Once the tea was made he'd eat it then.

"Feeling sorry for you?" He looked at Inigo with a confused frown. "Is that what you think'll happen? Not sympathy? Not empathy and understanding? Not comfort for a friend in a bad place? But you think they'd feel sorry for you, pity you?" He sighed and reached for the kettle as it boiled and added the water to the mugs.

"And why's it up to you to decide who gets hurt and who doesn't?" He asked once the kettle was set aside and he moved to stir the drinks. "... I might not be a close friend, Inigo. But if you're hurting, I'd like to help. I'm sure others would too. I'm sure if they were hurting you'd wanna know, right? You'd be sad if someone you cared about hid their pain from you?" Gladio shot him a quick glance and a gentle smile. "You pick who you tell. But you should talk to someone. Keeping things bottled up, especially from people who love you, hurts more in the long run."

argh i never got a notif for this!! i'm so sorry, you should've booped me on the head ;;;

[flatteries]

Inigo clutches the cookie jar rather awkwardly as he listens to Gladio speak. Sure, it's not like he's necessarily getting scolded here, considering there's that smile on the older guy's face, but there's still some harsh truths he's being confronted with here. Mostly since he knows Gladio is right. Inigo would feel bad if someone else hid their pain from him. He knows he's a hypocrite.

But that doesn't mean he can just stop being that.

"But-- they don't have to be sad if they don't know." And granted, he sure isn't being very convincing right now about this whole Yuki situation, but even Inigo has had moments where he was better about actually hiding things. "People might be sad right along with me if they knew about my pain, and I.. don't want that."

He shakes his head, staring down at the jar in his arms.

"I only ever wanted to make people smile."