unfavorableinstigation (
unfavorableinstigation) wrote in
voidtreckerexpress2020-08-02 09:15 am
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take.
Who: Nita and YOU. Preferably close CR, but anyone can stop by.
Where: Quiet Car, second floor, a room near the front of the carriage.
When: Middle half of Grasshopper; post-platform, pre-event.
What: A(n ex-) wizard retreats. Some may come to reprimand, some to console, some just to find out WTF happened.
Warnings: ... Discussion of what's basically psychic assault in this log, folks. Mind your headspace!
After the platform, Nita retreated into herself. That was the best way to describe it; she could not be 'booked' in one of these rooms the same way she could have been in the Medical Car, but she spent as much time as she could in just the one room, not speaking unless spoken to, not leaving except to go to the restroom or fetch another journal.
No matter when one arrived to check on her, she would be either resting - staring off into space more than actually sleeping - or writing.
Some of the words were crossed out, as if she had had a tough time finding the right ones, but the writing looked to be formal in nature. A report. And, most notably, it was in English, not the alien curves of the Speech.
If she had to live with her actions, Nita figured, the least she could do was explain them - and explain why they were wrong.
Mostly, though, what encompassed her mind was the emptiness of it all. She couldn't even be angry now.
Fitting.
Where: Quiet Car, second floor, a room near the front of the carriage.
When: Middle half of Grasshopper; post-platform, pre-event.
What: A(n ex-) wizard retreats. Some may come to reprimand, some to console, some just to find out WTF happened.
Warnings: ... Discussion of what's basically psychic assault in this log, folks. Mind your headspace!
After the platform, Nita retreated into herself. That was the best way to describe it; she could not be 'booked' in one of these rooms the same way she could have been in the Medical Car, but she spent as much time as she could in just the one room, not speaking unless spoken to, not leaving except to go to the restroom or fetch another journal.
No matter when one arrived to check on her, she would be either resting - staring off into space more than actually sleeping - or writing.
Some of the words were crossed out, as if she had had a tough time finding the right ones, but the writing looked to be formal in nature. A report. And, most notably, it was in English, not the alien curves of the Speech.
If she had to live with her actions, Nita figured, the least she could do was explain them - and explain why they were wrong.
Mostly, though, what encompassed her mind was the emptiness of it all. She couldn't even be angry now.
Fitting.
day after the Event
He'd hope to see her at breakfast time anyway the next day, or catch her somewhere else and find out how better she's doing. But he doesn't until he goes up to the second floor of the quiet car himself, having some plans of his own.
Until he spots her through the glass, and those plans aren't quite as important.
Her door gets a light knock-knock-knock, and he holds up a hand, makes a face that seems to ask with its small sad smile, Hey, there room for another?
Re: day after the Event
Or at much of anything. One of the benches has been made into a makeshift bed, with her lying face-down on top of it.
"It's unlocked," she says, because she can't just ignore him; that would be going one petty too far, right now.
no subject
"You stayed in here overnight?"
no subject
"This isn't the medical car, though. Think that's the only one with a 'lock-in' function."
no subject
"What, you scared of your cabinmates or something? They gonna know what you did and bite?"
Granted, he doesn't know who Nita's cabinmates are, so maybe they would. Still-
"This is some effort just to keep outta their way."
no subject
Scared of what - who - she might lose for good, maybe. But they both need time."The latter's more right, yeah. Did you want to talk, about...?"
About what happened? is what she doesn't finish. But Tidus is welcome to fill in the blank in his own way.
no subject
Trying to force info out of the train--and getting some bad backlash out of it.
"So...still feeling miserable?"
There's the lightest of jest at the end of that. Since, well, look at her. Definitely still in the 'feeling miserable' stage.
no subject
"Yeah. Yeah, I am. Not feeling dead or anything, though," she tries to reassure.
no subject
He'd suggest things to do, but he knows it probably isn't the best time for activities. But also, he'd hate to see her withdraw.
no subject
Normally, Nita can always count on her energy - but this time was proving to be one of the exceptions. Like when she'd started her Ordeal, she's seriously off her game.
(That made this full-circle, didn't it?)
"I've got myself some writing to do, anyway."
no subject
"Writing what? --An apology?"
He's just swinging a guess out here.
no subject
If she knew the train was planning a vacation as they spoke, she might have a different answer."Yeah. And a report on my own actions, like I'd do after any big wizardry back home."
Pang of nostalgia? Pang of nostalgia!
"For the apology, though... I don't know what to write. Some people just want to hear 'I'm sorry' and move on, you know? But I don't know what the train would want to hear, if it ever wants to hear from me again even."
Now that she's started talking, she seems to have a hard time stopping.
no subject
"We can't know what it wants--we don't know anything about it, everything's one big guess between that thing and what's going on at any point. All we can really do is...well, you just have to do what you think is right now."
He looks at where her papers might be, but not to try glean from a glance any info. There's something Nita said once...
"The train... it doesn't do words. Didn't you say that? So I think if you speak to it... you gotta go with feeling. Try and show it how you feel."
no subject
It's a somewhat facetious question, though if she's mocking anyone it's herself.
Rolling over to look up at the ceiling, she continues, "I'm not exactly an empath, Tidus. And I'm pretty sure it's tired of watching people do self-hate by now."
no subject
Not that he really gets how any of this works, but if it works one way, why not the other? He leans back some, arms lifting up from his knees.
"It's just an idea."
no subject
Was she trying to avoid admitting Tidus was right? Perhaps.
no subject
He leans, and reaches over to put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it.
"Sort yourself out. Do whatever you have to. And...talk to someone, if you need help. It's easy to get stuck in your own head."
And sometimes you need help, even if you're the only one who can solve your own problems in the end.
no subject
"Yeah. Way too easy."
She looks at his face, then; not smiling, but thoughtful.
"You're all right, then? No one else got hit or anything?"
no subject
"I wasn't that near when it happened, but I just saw you get knocked, no
one else. Nothing's happened to anyone far as I know."
Then or later.
Think this one's a wrap as well?
With a nod, she says, "Good."
Easier to clean up a mess with less collateral.
"As long as the newbies are settling in alright, we should be fine..."
For a given value of 'we,' anyway.
sure!
The newbies or whoever else. Tidus waves a hand at that, but then stands up.
"I'll leave you alone for now, but I'll be back later. Just hang out, give you a lil' company. That alright with you?"
Aaaand wrap.
The reassurance that there's enough council to go around helps, in its own way.
She'll see Tidus out, mood not necessarily lightened, but shifted, somehow.