voidtreckerexpress | I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take.

Who: Nita and YOU. Preferably close CR, but anyone can stop by.
Where: Quiet Car, second floor, a room near the front of the carriage.
When: Middle half of Grasshopper; post-platform, pre-event.
What: A(n ex-) wizard retreats. Some may come to reprimand, some to console, some just to find out WTF happened.
Warnings: ... Discussion of what's basically psychic assault in this log, folks. Mind your headspace!

After the platform, Nita retreated into herself. That was the best way to describe it; she could not be 'booked' in one of these rooms the same way she could have been in the Medical Car, but she spent as much time as she could in just the one room, not speaking unless spoken to, not leaving except to go to the restroom or fetch another journal.

No matter when one arrived to check on her, she would be either resting - staring off into space more than actually sleeping - or writing.

Some of the words were crossed out, as if she had had a tough time finding the right ones, but the writing looked to be formal in nature. A report. And, most notably, it was in English, not the alien curves of the Speech.

If she had to live with her actions, Nita figured, the least she could do was explain them - and explain why they were wrong.

Mostly, though, what encompassed her mind was the emptiness of it all. She couldn't even be angry now.

Fitting.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Still in a sucky place." Which is putting it lightly, probably. "You're not gonna hide yourself away up here though, are you? Not for too long, I hope."

He'd suggest things to do, but he knows it probably isn't the best time for activities. But also, he'd hate to see her withdraw.

"I'll... be better by the next platform. I think."

Normally, Nita can always count on her energy - but this time was proving to be one of the exceptions. Like when she'd started her Ordeal, she's seriously off her game.

(That made this full-circle, didn't it?)

"I've got myself some writing to do, anyway."

He's about to say, That's a long way away, particularly to be down in the dumps (or, rather, to be thinking about hanging out in a quiet booth!), but Tidus only says it by the raise of his brow, focusing on the latter of what she says.

"Writing what? --An apology?"

He's just swinging a guess out here.

Nita picked that at least in part because she doesn't know what the rest of this month is going to be like.

~~If she knew the train was planning a vacation as they spoke, she might have a different answer.~~

"Yeah. And a report on my own actions, like I'd do after any big wizardry back home."

Pang of nostalgia? Pang of nostalgia!

"For the apology, though... I don't know what to write. Some people just want to hear 'I'm sorry' and move on, you know? But I don't know what the train would want to hear, if it ever wants to hear from me again even."

Now that she's started talking, she seems to have a hard time stopping.

He doesn't mind the rambling--who is he to mind, when he can't half the time find the words for his thoughts and takes forever to get to the point? Tidus hums a little though in the space she leaves. What would the train want?

"We can't know what it wants--we don't know anything about it, everything's one big guess between that thing and what's going on at any point. All we can really do is...well, you just have to do what you think is right now."

He looks at where her papers might be, but not to try glean from a glance any info. There's something Nita said once...

"The train... it doesn't do words. Didn't you say that? So I think if you speak to it... you gotta go with feeling. Try and show it how you feel."

"With what, a picture?"

It's a somewhat facetious question, though if she's mocking anyone it's herself.

Rolling over to look up at the ceiling, she continues, "I'm not exactly an empath, Tidus. And I'm pretty sure it's tired of watching people do self-hate by now."

"You're feeling it, didn't you say? It can't feel you right back? Use words if you want, but trying to speak its language doesn't sound so bad to me!"

Not that he really gets how any of this works, but if it works one way, why not the other? He leans back some, arms lifting up from his knees.

"It's just an idea."

"I did feel it cutting me off at the end of- of all that, Tidus. Not sure there's any reception to be had."

Was she trying to avoid admitting Tidus was right? Perhaps.

"Give it time," he reassures as best he can, slowly spoken. "You both need it, but you especially. You got real heated--and I know you did something you regret, with your Oath. But this isn't just it, you know?"

He leans, and reaches over to put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it.

"Sort yourself out. Do whatever you have to. And...talk to someone, if you need help. It's easy to get stuck in your own head."

And sometimes you need help, even if you're the only one who can solve your own problems in the end.

Nita squeezes a hand, for just a moment - then lets go. Exhales.

"Yeah. Way too easy."

She looks at his face, then; not smiling, but thoughtful.

"You're all right, then? No one else got hit or anything?"

"No." He looks curious as he says it, briefly checking his SCA before straightening his back, resting his arms back on his legs.

"I wasn't that near when it happened, but I just saw you get knocked, no
one else. Nothing's happened to anyone far as I know."

Then or later.

That gesture gets her curiosity - but it's buried once Tidus answers.

With a nod, she says, "Good."

Easier to clean up a mess with less collateral.

"As long as the newbies are settling in alright, we should be fine..."

For a given value of 'we,' anyway.

"You focus on you; there's enough of those council people around to think about them."

The newbies or whoever else. Tidus waves a hand at that, but then stands up.

"I'll leave you alone for now, but I'll be back later. Just hang out, give you a lil' company. That alright with you?"

"Can't say I'll be good company, but... sure."

The reassurance that there's enough council to go around helps, in its own way.

She'll see Tidus out, mood not necessarily lightened, but shifted, somehow.

I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take.

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Think this one's a wrap as well?

sure!

Aaaand wrap.