I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take.

[unfavorableinstigation]

Who: Nita and YOU. Preferably close CR, but anyone can stop by.
Where: Quiet Car, second floor, a room near the front of the carriage.
When: Middle half of Grasshopper; post-platform, pre-event.
What: A(n ex-) wizard retreats. Some may come to reprimand, some to console, some just to find out WTF happened.
Warnings: ... Discussion of what's basically psychic assault in this log, folks. Mind your headspace!


After the platform, Nita retreated into herself. That was the best way to describe it; she could not be 'booked' in one of these rooms the same way she could have been in the Medical Car, but she spent as much time as she could in just the one room, not speaking unless spoken to, not leaving except to go to the restroom or fetch another journal.

No matter when one arrived to check on her, she would be either resting - staring off into space more than actually sleeping - or writing.

Some of the words were crossed out, as if she had had a tough time finding the right ones, but the writing looked to be formal in nature. A report. And, most notably, it was in English, not the alien curves of the Speech.

If she had to live with her actions, Nita figured, the least she could do was explain them - and explain why they were wrong.

Mostly, though, what encompassed her mind was the emptiness of it all. She couldn't even be angry now.

Fitting.

Comments

[unfavorableinstigation]

Where there might have been a snappy retort, there was nothing but quiet acceptance.

Nita nodded, glum as could be.

"I- I was angry. Lost one too many people. And I was sick of waiting for answers."

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"Huh? I don't mean doing it!" Because if anyone knew about anger and retaliation, it was Zetta. "I mean the major mopefest afterwards. What's up with that?"

[unfavorableinstigation]

"... When I lost wizardry, I lost connection with its- soul, I guess?"

Nita had never gotten the question as to what exactly the peridexis was answered.

"That soul was- probably the friend I've had the longest, when it comes to being outside of home. He was there where there weren't even any other wizards. Losing power's one thing, but I miss them more, and I have no one to blame but myself."

Her voice broke on the last part.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"Yeah, yeah." Zetta, master of sympathy. But he regarded Nita with a glare that was less cruel mockery and more... disappointment, maybe? "Guy who lost literally everything including his own freaking body here, remember? You didn't lose who YOU are any more than I lost who I am. You miss magic? Get up and get to work on getting it back. Because if you try, you will. I sure as hell know THAT much about you."

[unfavorableinstigation]

The disappointment was arguably better, in terms of her coping with it.

"... Okay. That all you've got for now, then?"

But she would be thinking about what he said, no matter what.

Strange to think that even an evil overlord believed she could do anything, if she tried.

She took a breath.

"Because, if that's it, then I have a report to write, and I need to get started."

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"...What, you think I'm just leaving?"

How did this happen?!

[unfavorableinstigation]

"Not sure if you've noticed, but this isn't exactly your normal space," Nita replied, turning away.

"It's a lot smaller than the Garden Car, for one. And I'd, uh, hate to keep you here."

A little bit of her usual nature resurfacing? Perhaps.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"Yeah, you know how I was saying they didn't make you less Nita? That includes being stupid if someone leaves you alone, so I'm sticking around till you snap out of it. Otherwise you'll just sit here thinking circular depressing thoughts." The book, huffing, took up a spot right in midair.

[unfavorableinstigation]

Nita opened her mouth to protest that she wasn't alone, not really-

But then, that was exactly the problem, wasn't it?

"Might be more than just a day or two," Nita pointed out, but most of the bite was still gone from her words.

But she sat down at the desk, flipping to a blank page in her journal, and began to write.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"I have faith you'll get your ass together before then. But it's not like this freaking train is laugh-a-minute." Annoying Nita mercilessly was an excellent defense against boredom, actually.

[unfavorableinstigation]

It would be some minutes before Nita spoke again; the only other sound was the noise of gently-scratching pen on paper.

"I'm not getting wizardry back unless the train deems it's okay."

She'd had to be told that bit, but it wasn't that hard to reason out; the wronged party deciding the punishment's length.

Perhaps the peridexis hadn't wanted to make the ultimate decision there.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Zetta huffed. "There are like a million different 'wizardries' out there. I've told you enough that you should've figured that out by now. It's all the same basic idea in the end."

[unfavorableinstigation]

"Check my status."

If he did, he'd find, instead of 'wizard' among her stats, the word 'indeterminate'

"I'm not going to cheat to get wizardry back. It's not about the power."

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Titles change, man. They were really important, but they changed. "How the hell is taking a different path 'cheating'? That's like saying if the highway's closed, you're just gonna sit and wait for it to reopen instead of taking the back roads!"

[unfavorableinstigation]

This time Nita stopped writing, turning around to look the book dead in the eye.

"Because if I want to see my friend again, I have to be someone who can be a wizard of the Powers' Oath in Life's Name."

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"Oh look, only the highway goes to that exit..." Zetta scoffed, not in the least intimidated by her direct glare. "What's the point of having power if you can't make happen what you want to happen?"

[unfavorableinstigation]

"And what's the point in having friends if you aren't willing to change your behavior for them, if you're the one who hurt them in the first place?"

Not that she thought Zetta would understand that point.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"Hold up. Isn't the TRAIN what screwed around with your magic?" He was starting to get confused, here.

[unfavorableinstigation]

"No."

Nita shook her head for emphasis; time to clear this up.

"The train just hit me, after I basically assaulted it with a psychotropic spell to extract information from its mind, keep it from 'running away' mentally. But if one of that kind of spell is deemed to cause more harm than good, or to work in the wrong ways, then a wizard can be considered violating their Oath and have their power stripped."

She sighed.

"It was like killing two birds with one stone: by betraying the train's trust, I broke wizardry's trust in me."

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"DOUBLE hold up," Zetta said, squeezing his eyes shut. "So this train, that took you away from everything without your permission, that keeps taking you into danger but otherwise cramps you up in uncomfortably close quarters with dozens of other people, without regard for your well-being in any way, shape, or form, deserves your complete and absolute trust and courtesy. What the hell kind of standard are you being held to?!"

[unfavorableinstigation]

Nita went still. Possibly dangerously so.

"Psychic assault is psychic assault. And it's not as if I've seen you doing the same, for all your power."

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"Look, I'll be the first to admit I don't understand friendship." Zetta kept right on glaring, heedless of warning signs. "But does friendship really involve cutting someone off the second they make a really understandable mistake, not giving a crap about their circumstances or their current mental and emotional state, and then making them basically crawl back?"

[unfavorableinstigation]

"... They have history, with people who misuse them in that way."

Wizardry, not the train, obviously.

"And if I were the sort to just go after whatever makes me powerful, or someone who agrees with whatever I say and do, rather than someone who wanted to leave the worlds a better place than when I started, I wouldn't have been offered the Oath in the first place!"

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Zetta kept pressing. "So how long ago was that? And how much have you done since then? And how many times have you screwed up to this point? And how bad did you just dodge my question of whether that was REALLY the act of a friend?"

[unfavorableinstigation]

"Get out."

Nita finally turned, getting up from her seat.

"I can't Unfavorable Instigation you, but I can throw you-!"

She paused.

"I can tell Romeo what you said, what you implied. And he would never talk to you again."