A New Platform [Intro Post October]

[voidtreckermods]

On the Train

"Good morning passengers, it is day sixteen of the month of Horsehoe. Points have been updated on the system and new stock is available."

They have indeed and everyone can spend the morning shopping. Those who have been on the train a while will be expecting the second announcement that comes a few hours later.

"Shortly arriving into a designated void platform. Exit from void in ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one." A lurch and a jolt and they are soon surrounded by the fog that means they are at a platform. The first thing they may notice is that this platform is inside a basic shelter, making it warmer than the last couple at least.

As usual the first to leave the train notice nothing as they walk silently, rucksacks on their backs, towards the barriers. Adora, Alex Hashimoto, Catra, Cloud Strife, Elizabeth Midford, Feanor, Gerome, Gladiolus Amicitia, Glimmer, Ifrit, Isabella D’Oro, Maru, Nari Reno, Noctis Lucis Caelum, Prompto Argentum, Scorpia, Siobahn Chereshei, SXT-2, Tamamo-no-Mae, Tony Stark, Uta, Zidane Tribal

But on the platform itself there are many new faces. Wearing hoodies in all four colours in various states of confusion.

For New Passengers

At first all they can see is steam. Billowing around them as they come to their senses. The second thing they will notice is it is gloomy, even without the steam and fog. They are in a wooden building, open to the tracks on one side. It in a creaky shelter, cobwebs hang from the rafters and there is a peculiar whistle as wind finds its way through the cracks.

They are standing, in clothes that are not their own, styles they might not even recognise. They are carrying a rucksack on their back. For a moment it seems to just be them, alone in the white haze but then the steam begins to fade and they realise they aren’t alone.

The platform is not large and it holds nineteen figures all facing the tracks, all dressed in cargo trousers and hoodies. Both left and right the tracks disappear into the mist. Then there is a roaring sound and out of the fog arrives a train. Jet black with gold writing on the side. The Voidtrecker Express. There is a hiss as the doors slide open and out into the gloom step a selection of people. Some are human, some are less so. Most are wearing the same hoodie in one of the four colours, red, orange, blue and purple though some are sporting different clothes in a variety of styles.

The Train

The doors hiss open. Those from the train may encourage those on the platform to board. It’s not like there is anywhere else to go and even if there was, you feel a pull. A need to board, a feeling that staying on the platform would not be a good thing. If that is not enough, there are plenty of people on the platform now, to encourage them onto the train.

Indeed whereas usually there is plenty time for people to be met and brought slowly onto the train, the whistles blow a lot quicker this time, as if hurrying the passengers along.

Each ICP shows the same message and next to the screens there are stacks of leaflets written by those on the train, with further information. The store rooms have been restocked, with… teddy bear shaped luncheon meat being the main ingredient to be found. There are plenty of other staples.

A new carriage has been added, those that go to investigate will find a room full of lockers, designated as the Armoury. Even for passengers without weapons it is somewhere to secure possessions. There are instructions on how to use the lockers and enough for everyone to claim one.

New passengers will find their tickets allow them into their cabins. They may need to negotiate for beds, especially if they want a top bunk!

Room is tight but there are storage cubbies at the head of each bed, beds fold up and the bottom bunks double as benches for the small table. There is storage under those benches and you will hopefully find a pillow for your bed if it has not been nabbed by a roommate, there are also spare blankets for if it gets cold.

Departure

A second horn sounds over the noise of the hail stones to encourage any stragglers braving the snow and the doors slide shut. Veteran passengers know what will happen next, they may wish to brief their new companions.

The train sets off, the fog obscuring the view as it picks up speed.

"Welcome aboard, passengers of the Voidtrecker Express." A female-coded artificial sounding voice echoes throughout the train. "Please take the time to read the passenger information displayed on the Information and Communication points and familiarise yourself with the layout and emergency exits."

The train begins to tilt, leaving the ground and rising up into the fog filled sky.

"Entrance into Voidspace imminent. New passengers are advised to remain seated. Entry into Voidspace in ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one."

A shudder, a jolt, a lurch to the left. A flash of light, colourful and blinding. As quick as it happens it is done. The train seems to steady. The fog from the windows is gone now, replaced with a kaleidoscope of ever changing colours.

Welcome to the Void!

Comments

[blitzcheer]

It's a born-again cool old-dude, Roland. You wouldn't get it.

"That's not fun," is Tidus's very easily deduced verdict on Roland and Bambosh's quality time. Just telling it when to come home and to help Roland with his chores? It makes him think of Yuna and her aeons, but even so-

"Even Yuna acted close with her aeons, whenever they were around - she had a connection with them too. She had to pray hard to make them accept her!" Which may or may not make any sense, but to Tidus, there's a link: a connection, from the heart. It's gotta be similar, right? "A person's more than just how useful they are at a job. You should treat Bambosh like... a coworker. Or a pal! Ask him how he's doing once in a while. You asked him to be stuck on a train with you."

Tidus: the higgledy whisperer.

[adregem]

"...That's...a really good point." And a rather appropriate analogy. So effective it is that he's just going to stare wide-eyed at him for a brief second, before rubbing the back of his neck.

But he's so unused to trying to communicate with the spiritual equivalent of dry wall - sorry Bambosh - that he's mostly resorted to what he knows works: the invisible string connecting his heart's desires and thoughts to the higgledy hero in question. The only other higgledy that he may have the slightest chance of speaking to the way Tidus has bonded with his new pet now, was, well. Another consideration. Another order, for another time.

"So how'd she do it?" He tucks his hands against his sides, still crossed over as he leans his head somewhat, trying to immerse himself in Tidus's advice. How this turned upside down, a surprise to symbolize Roland's desire to help the teen now a makeshift tutorial for him to understand the spirits a bit deeper, isn't something he could have ever predicted. Nor is the quick attachment that quickly forms between them; pleasant when he stops to consider Tidus may have rejected such a bond.

"Did you watch her pray to them? Is it like asking for help, or...Was she a pal to them? To the aeons?" He blinks, brows furrowing somewhat. "What are aeons, anyway?"

[blitzcheer]

Huh. He brought up the aeons so easily, he didn't consider that he'd need to explain them to Roland. Wondering for a second how much Roland actually knew about himself or everything that happened back in Spira, though it's a short thought.

"Aeons were what the fayth gave to Yuna so she could defeat Sin." Which may require further explanation, but for now, it's a good place to start. Tidus eyeing the small form in his lap, who seems to be nodding as he speaks. "I never saw her pray 'cept once - but it took a long time, reaching out and getting the fayth to accept her. I don't actually...understand the bond all that well."

What was the difference between aeons and the fayth? The aeons were the power granted, but wasn't there a connection? He's quiet for a second, unable to come to a conclusion.

"Whenever she called out the aeons- like... summon them, wherever she was, she'd be gentle to them. Thankful." Touching Valefor on its beak; taking Shiva's shawl for them. "She only bought them out for battling, so it wasn't like we hung out. But you could tell they respected each other. Yuna was... Yuna was like that." His voice dipping, but genuine. "She was thankful to everyone who helped her. She didn't take it for granted."

After all: "You're a team."

[adregem]

He keeps his own gaze low, hands stilled by his lap and fingers interlocked while Tidus speaks, eventually sounding fond at the mention of the love he was forced to see off not too long ago. Roland cherishes moments that people can trust him enough to tell them bits and pieces of who they are, knowing for himself how difficult it can be to tell them stories told only in the privacy of your heart.

And it's taking quite a bit for Roland not to ask more from the tale - what is Sin, did that destroy Zanarkand? Is Sin the reason he's -

If Aeons are like higgledies, spirits that require human connection to form into what they are, then are fayth the equivalent of godswind in Tidus's world? The source of all strength, of magic? Thoughts running wildly in his mind that he can't help but drift a finger under his chin, a tell of his when he's deep into his own mind. The high higgledy resting on Tidus continues to react to him well, cooing when it seems to agree with whatever he says. You're a team. Roland smiles, eyes closed.

"Alright. Message received." Roland answers, a chuckle resting just at the tail-end of his words, but never really coming out. "I'll do my best to follow both of your examples. After all, we're a team now too. I don't want you to think I'm not trying hard enough to connect - even with the little ones. Or that I'm taking any of this for granted." He looks at Hibber-Gibber then, but it's a distraction for himself to come to terms with what he wants to tell him next, something stuck in his throat that Roland has to swallow it down first before he can open his mouth.

"I wish I could have met her, here. Yuna." Wistful, with a tinge of regret. "Every time you talk about her, it's...I know you mean how you feel." Like at some point in time, she was Tidus's world. Might still be. Regardless of anything else.

[blitzcheer]

The words are heavy, with or without how Roland speaks them. How Tidus hears them, and the weight that it puts on him, in his heart. The higgledy below eases on its nodding as it senses that grief, if mingled with more than that: a love yearned, a loved miss. A bittersweetness, a tale that forever repeats itself for lovers everywhere.

It knows not to react, as Tidus finds it in him to speak.

"...when I met her, it was the first time I knew about Spira. Zanarkand and Spira... Zanarkand is in Spira, but we weren't a part of it. We were something different. A dream. A dream...to keep Zanarkand alive. So it could never disappear."

He keeps his gaze aside, away from Roland and the higgledy below. Whatever comfort it can provide silently kept so. But this is about more than the sorry tale of his life; it's about trust. Sharing with Roland what's become second nature to keep to himself. That the people who know him - the people he hurt - deserve to know.

But it's still hard. Harder too on a day like this, with another's joy sitting in his chest.

"We didn't know about Sin. 'Cause Sin... Sin was protecting Zanarkand." Which was a whole story too, but his thoughts drift him back to the woman who brought him to this subject in the first place. The resolve in her eyes he can picture clearly, always. "It was because I became Yuna's guardian that I got to know what was happening to Spira. The people in it, and how everyone was struggling. 'Cause of her..."

Because of her, he got to experience the real world. Because of her, he got to do something about it. With her, with everyone. But his voice trails, a breath needed. The heaviness in him growing.

[adregem]

The book on Roland's lap is all but forgotten, just a weight to keep him grounded while his mind travels far, far away. Tidus's story is received easily, and with a deep sense gratitude. It's a trust that he recognizes without hesitation, and Roland can't help but feel the weight of it as he clings to every word Tidus says now, committing every detail to memory. It's Tidus before the void took him; it's Tidus before he realized the truth of his life. When I met her, it was the first time I knew about Spira.

When he stops to think about it, Roland missed out on something even more heartbreaking: that Tidus existed all this time not knowing what or who he actually is. Going about his day, playing blitzball with the Abes as if they were still with Spira...And then at some point, the truth becomes clear to him, and he is told - We were something different. A dream. A dream to keep Zanarkand alive. Ripping off his SCA that day, knowing he'd turn transparent, fading from reality; oh yes, Tidus knew.

How do you deal with that? Roland can't even begin to imagine it. It's an uncomfortable, wretched grief that makes his stomach churn even as he sits quietly by Tidus's side; it forces him to hide his gripped hands under the cover of his usual stance, arms folded across his body.

Tidus is dead. A dream forced to come back. A dream that fell in love with a real woman. Roland exhales audibly at the thought, a lump in his throat swallowed down before he speaks a few moments after Tidus trails off.

Cause of her...

"...Because of her, you lived." He finishes, simply. Hearing the unspoken, putting it into reality. He finally opens his eyes, and decides to take a chance, turning to the side to look at Tidus's profile for no other reason than to remember this too. His face, who he is, the man sat next to him on a magical train that has granted men like Tidus another chance to live, again and again. Despite the costs. And if Yuna was tasked with spirit guardians to end Sin -

- Roland inhales another shaky breath. It would have been Yuna's job to end him, too.

"Did she know?" He asks, carefully. Steadily. Roland looks away, back to the book on his lap. "Is that why...you told me you could have tried harder? Because you joined Yuna as a guardian, but it was her job to defeat Sin?"

[blitzcheer]

Tidus notices the weight of the bed shift, the figure beside him moving without fulling seeing him. He doesn't look, affirm or even consider it. He doesn't want to, with his emotions too close to throat. It's easier to pretend sometimes, isn't it? And right now, he wants to act like he's got it together.

(But what great timing, to share his life story when some other guy he's connected to is happy with his guy. And the way that hurts, 'cause he knows that feeling too well.)

"I never looked for another way," he says weakly, spoken on an exhale for the breath he had to suck in, to even speak in the first place. "I never told them, until the end. No one knew about Zanarkand 'cept me. All they knew was...if they defeated Yevon, the guy in Sin, who summoned it - they'd stop Sin from coming back. All that time..."

He tilts his head back, lightly finding the wall. Eyes closed, and everything seems so - far away, a part of history already. And it is. But it doesn't feel right, when it was only months ago. But it only took months to change his entire life.

"They'd get a new summon, sacrifice the summoner, and when they destroyed Sin, Yevon made the new summon the new Sin. And we were somewhere else, oblivious." Zanarkand. "It went on for a thousand years."

A thousand years of the same cycle repeating. A world getting torn apart.

[adregem]

"...my god."

Roland's exclamation is soft, a horrific realization making its way to the forefront of his mind. His right hand curls, fingers forming a loose fist that covers his lips. It takes him a while to connect the pieces together, but at the mention of a sacrifice, it's an easy cross to make. Yuna's death would have saved his home - or the illusion of it, the dream - but it would have created another Sin to torment the rest of Spira for what, another thousand years more? And in choosing to hide the truth from Yuna, it saved her and the rest of the waking world, at the cost of his home. The dreams of a nation, long gone.

I didn't try to find another way.

The tug and sting in his chest grows ever heavier. Wasn't that something Roland was all too familiar with? Him, Doloran too...

No, Roland thinks to himself, looking away and keeping his gaze low. Eyes glossed with emotion he can no longer contain. Either decision would have merited the same effect on Tidus. To choose one over the other - it would have devastated him no matter what. It would have eaten him up, no matter what.

That wasn't a decision for one person to make. It shouldn't have to be him. It's not fair. Tidus was a dream too, he didn't ask for any of this!

Roland increasingly finds it difficult to calm himself inwardly, so he keeps quiet for a good while. He takes his time, lets his own heart sing to the tune of Tidus's story - one that reflects similarly to his own. And of others who suffer the machinations of fate. The silence that follows, he hopes, is not too stifling. He can at least, hear the little higgledy try its best to soothe whatever pains linger, cooing as it does. He doesn't know, can't hear it as much as he tries to reach out. The high higgledy was effectively Tidus's, now.

It's a slow, steady exhale that draws him back into the lulled conversation. Then, he speaks; dulcet and mellow. Words laden with empathy, only because Roland seems to understand to some great extent a small portion of Tidus's sorrows.

"...It won't really matter, but I think you did the right thing. I think you did the brave thing." Choosing one over the other. "I...I don't claim to know Spira, or Zanarkand...Sin, or Yuna and your journey with her. But what you were faced with, what you had to do when you found out? That's not a choice." He shakes his head, lightly. Scared to meet his eye because he doesn't know what he'll see behind the veil.

"I don't think there was much of a choice, at all. It had to be done. It's just...you had to make the call. Even if you knew the price and paid for it."

[blitzcheer]

He breathes, a slip of a sound. At least the weight of the story wasn't a singular one, to only be noted by the one whose story it was. That's what Tidus tells from the silence, not cursing its presence. Watching the higgledy on his lap as it begins a dance, and wondering idly, 'I hope you haven't had to make any hard decisions, little guy'; forgetting in that instance, the connection shared by their heart.

'Young sojourner, from those decisions I came to be! Because from those decisions, yes, lives hope - and life!'

Tidus lets out a noise, like air choked on, small and brief. The high higgledy's arms reached out towards him and then lowering, but the gesture of it - that you are not alone! - not dismissed with it. He slips a hand onto his lap before it, allowing Hibber-Gibber to put one of its hands onto his, no bigger than a little finger's tip.

He rocks it, shifting his hand lightly, as if the tiny hand were a baby's hand. Not for any more reason than just because, as Roland speaks, as the silence of his own decision in what to say.

"...I don't regret going through it, you know?" Quietly he speaks. His eyes on the higgledy, maybe even pretending to speak to them than Roland. "Yeah, I didn't want to-- ...go. But it wasn't just about me. It wasn't just Spira, either. My old man... he became the last Sin. 'Cause he was Yuna's dad's guardian. He wanted to stop this too. And the fayth... they were stuck. A thousand years, they were made to keep the the city going. Never sleeping. Just stuck, summoning a dream. I just..."

He sighs. Small pauses meant to give him exactly that, a moment to think, to settle.

"I started thinking, after that trip to that weird island happened - what if I told Yuna and the others about it? What if I asked the fayth?" His voice rises, and he sniffs; uses the back of his free hand to wipe at his eyes. Exhales as he finishes the thought:

"I'm never gonna know."

What could have been.

[adregem]

Not for the first time does Roland feel the shock, like cold water hitting his face. His eyes glance over at the higgledy, no more than a little distraction at this point - My old man became the last Sin.

Besides Yuna, besides the world...Tidus ended the journey his father began by being the one to strike him down.

The height of cruelty.

Roland no longer resists the twitch in his nerves, the jolt in his arms. Though Tidus seems to be busying himself with Hibber-Gibber, Roland makes a move to wrap an arm around his shoulders anyway, pulling him close. Temple to temple, almost, but not quite. And perhaps in any other time, Roland would have expected a headbutt, a reprimand as Tidus often gives him, calls him names for, makes jokes at his expense. But Roland is barely holding on to his own composure. Tears glistening, threatening to fall.

Remembering the fallen souls of Tidus's home; mourning the son whose burden is so heavy he had to slay his own father. Who chose to disappear, to die with the rest of the dreams he set free, even if he desired nothing more than to play in the ocean, ball in hand, smile carefree. And here he is, sat next to Roland as if nothing happened.

"Maybe you don't have to." He says, barely a whisper. "Tidus I...I reckon all of them would have thanked you, in the end." Roland adds, tone laden with melancholy. "A thousand years of that...they might have been surviving as dreams, but it wasn't living. They weren't at rest. That wasn't true peace. But what you went through - seeing Spira, seeing a brand new world for the first time, falling in love! That's a life. That's..."

He forces himself to say it, though the grip around Tidus's shoulders begin to firm somewhat, comforting to feel that he is in the here and now. As promised. Trying. Moving forward.

"...That's the life the fayth would have wanted you to live." The life you deserve. If only for a stolen moment in time.

[blitzcheer]

The arm comes around him, pulling him in easy, when Tidus doesn't expect it, doesn't have the time to resist it. But he doesn't, even once it's does; the full voice of the man beside him, affected, maybe more so than him. It's a story - a life, done and said - that he's already had time to come to grips with. Questioning now the what ifs that lead him nowhere - but still, that he can't keep off his tongue, his mind or otherwise.

The idle fussing between the higgledy and its connected stop, and Hibber-Gibber looks over to Roland with its squiggly-like eyes. And hops, from limb to limb, leg to leg, to traverse the route of Roland's terrain, to prance with a spin up onto his farthest arm before he might think to do much; climbing up where he wishes - or Tidus wishes - to be.

Upon his free shoulder, a comfort to him. A brilliant hue of sea-blue, reaching to soothe the despair washing into his shores.

"The fayth wanted sleep," he says, simply; drawn into a resigned tone - one not stubborn, not coated in spite. A finality, as the ending is. "But... The dreams. The people. Everything would have just... ended."

Ceased. And the word has all the heaviness that, too, the end of life comes with when doused in tragedy.

"No one wants to die," he says, falling the recede of a silence. "No one living their lives."

And that was the difference, between the dreams and the dreamers.

[adregem]

Roland doesn't resist that either, when Hibber-Gibber reaches out, visits the parts of him that are needing of comfort. The higgledy senses that out, holds his sadness for Roland so the burden is not so heavy on his shoulders. He exhales heavily, a sigh more than a breath. It helps him to remember what exactly he needs to say to Tidus. Wave after wave, stirring memories that Hibber-Gibber itself probably knows even without Roland's comprehension of its words.

The arm around Tidus does not let go, not yet. But it loosens to a comfortable hold, careful to support.

"Yeah. No one wants to die." He repeats with the gravity that statement deserves; though he will always feel truly differently about it, in the end. That his life was more important than the people's, than someone else's, is too foreign for him to comprehend. But wanting them to live, wanting that for the souls he swore to, took an oath to...It's close. "But not dying isn't really living, is it? Not all the time."

Hibber-Gibber knows where Roland is going. Makes motions as if bobbing his head in agreement, or gentle encouragement.

"...Once, there was a Queen who ruled a beautiful kingdom by the sea. But her kingdom was doomed to be destroyed by a volcano resting underneath their shores." Roland narrates easily, more of experience than memory. "All seemed to be lost for them. But she decided that she wanted one more day for her nation, one more day under the sun. One more day to be by the man she loved. So she turned back time, just before the volcano destroyed her home. She did this again, and again, and again. For three hundred years. Never allowing the spell to break, making sure her citizens remained stagnant, never loving, never giving birth to new children. Never getting sick, or seeing the outside world. But the price was paid, and they lived."

He decides to rest more casually against Tidus now, perhaps affected by the calm radiating off of the higgledy on his shoulder. Whether or not it's reacting to the story of his birth, or to Tidus's own command, is lost on Roland.

And the next words that he shares, that comes out of his mouth, seem not to be his own anyway. Borrowing wisdom from someone else, from someone who may understand this story even more than he could. "'The wheel must turn again for Hydropolis...And if it brings our destruction, then so be it.'" Roland nods. Chances a look at Tidus with warm eyes and a hint of a smile. "'It also brings truth.'"

[blitzcheer]

What must that be like? A kingdom, gone like that - consumed, destroyed in a day, and knowing you can't do anything but keep it be by repeating its last day. Nothing else changing, no other ways to save it.

It turns it into a sad tale, of not wanting to let go. Did the Queen ever repeat the day wondering, 'Maybe tomorrow - I can find another way?' Or did it just become hard to let go, when you knew tomorrow, there wouldn't be anything? There wouldn't be a tomorrow after that.

He couldn't imagine letting go, once he'd started. But what was the state of that kingdom too? 'Never loving, never giving birth to new children'. He isn't sure by that alone, though Tidus thinks about the story, once it's done.

"What do you think," he says, more a curiosity, but at least a curiosity he isn't putting any weight to, "if they did keep living? Even if they just had the same day? Zanarkand wasn't like that. If it was, I wouldn't be alive."

There's some mirth to that.

[adregem]

Roland catches the slightest hint of that light, and chooses to hold on to it however small. It's something. But before he can even think it, Hibber-Gibber is first to respond to Tidus, though Roland will only hear squeaks on his end of the line.

Young sojourner, they did not know their lives were stuck in an endless loop, hiig! They did not know for all that time! And so hope could not spring forth, no beginning without the end! Piggle!

"Hm. Well, when we visited them, Hydropolis felt like a police state. The citizens were pretty discontent that they couldn't do much of anything. They were kept on constant vigil by the Queen, put in jail if it felt like they were disobeying her orders. All to keep the spell in place." He chuckles, and the hold over Tidus feels like they're just chatting again, the heavy fog lifting slowly but surely.

"When you first told me about Zanarkand, before...It got me thinking a lot. Coming back on the train, I thought about this little chapter in our adventure back home and, well. It reminded me of you. And the ending isn't the happiest, but maybe dark skies don't always mean rain. That's why I got you this little fella, specifically." He offers the back of his hand for Hibber-Gibber to take, and it does thankfully, riding on it until he's offered gently back to Tidus. Water on its head bubbling up calmly.

"...Look out for him, okay?" Roland directs it to high higgledy, and it all but coos, jumping and twirling in the air before it reappears in a flash of light by Tidus's midsection once more. He'd like to think that that was an affirmation, a promise made.

[blitzcheer]

Geez, what a mess that sounds like, from the both of their stories joined. That was no way to live, for sure. And where his thoughts may wander from there, they're paused as Roland speaks, and Tidus listens to him; as the higgledy returns to his lap once more. The spoken request.

His feelings and his heart are the mess, but at the same time, there's a calmness to it. He's not so rocked, though there lingers all that the day has brought for him. Maybe he's tired, too beyond the soft wave of emotion coming from this bond of his; this chapter of his life he's had to come to terms with, before it was even concluded.

"I'll look out for you too," Tidus promises to higgledy, who knows to turn as he begins to speak, bows his crowned head with a hiig! - and with another light, the higgledy glows again, and then disappears, a warmth spilling into his chest at it disappears within.

Tidus's eyes widen - maybe, for how he's seen Roland with Bambosh, he should've known that could've happened. Bringing his hands to his chest, hovering over his heart. His finger curl, and he drops them back onto his lap.

A kind of silence settles over, broken as Tidus asks, "Do you think about your first world?"

[adregem]

Rare does he find himself posed with such a question, if at all. His arm still loose yet weighted against Tidus's shoulders, slung like two friends just talking about the troubles of lives intertwined. The older man takes his time to answer, and if it were regular days, he would have dismissed it completely.

But this was not a regular day, nor was Tidus just a regular person. The boy seated next to him has more than enough pull for Roland to address his question honestly; he cares about him and what he thinks, what he should know even if unearthing the words to say to Tidus are not as easy as denying them totally. Roland won't take his time, lets whatever tone that comes naturally ebb and flow.

"Yeah. From time to time." A slight, almost nonexistent twitch of his shoulder when he opens his mouth. "I try not to linger, though."

[blitzcheer]

Truthfully, Tidus knows the answer before he asks it. As a person who thinks about their own first home, as someone who watched Roland send to drift two bottles to reach two different lives.

But it's not the question he really wants to ask; that, that isn't a question he wants to rush into. Still, he might not be building it up to it just for himself. Looking at their leg, his throat tight before-

"Can you...go back?"

[adregem]

He inhales deeply, fills his lungs with air, before he releases that breath stuck in his chest. Relaxed, almost. In a manner akin to Tidus recognizing the end of his tale before anyone else could even mourn such a fate. An acceptance, a recognition born from irrevocable loss.

"I don't know." It's the most candid he can put it. Roland's never been one to lie, or sugarcoat the truth for someone else's benefit, including his own. "That's not something I've got any control over, it seems. Never has been. Getting sent to the second world wasn't my choice, either."

[blitzcheer]

Roland became an aide to the king in the second world - not a role where one expects to return to the first. Tidus is quiet, but cognizant to the meanings that come with it. A life left behind; a people. Who knows what else? Family, friends...

"Sorry. Even if you're okay with being in the kingdom..." Even if Roland has come to accept his fate. It's still a life lost, and the more he thinks about it, the more his curiosity can't help to pry.

"Do you know why it happened? What sent you there?"

[adregem]

"I do. I know."

A tale for a tale. Roland doesn't mind anymore, can't find any friction in telling Tidus what he's asking for. The spaces in between Roland's story that has never truly been filled, even when his actual memories were right there in the open for all to see. It's never been important; it's never been relevant for the task at hand. Too long, too many details. That's what he's always said. The usual spiel.

That was before, now is now. And at least this time, Roland's retained his agency by actually wanting to answer, without magic or strange islands forcing it out of him. So he goes.

"The first world and the second world are connected." Roland regales, and for this he does take his time to say it right. Make sure nothing is left too closed or open, establish the foundation before building up. "I can't explain why, but I've been told it's an ancient magic, too old for even some in the second world to remember. People in my world don't know about it. Regardless, that connection exists, and sometimes people who are born in one world, share a soul with someone else in the other." His head leans back against the wall, eyes slowly closing as if seeing images from the back of his lids.

"Soulmates, essentially. And good 'ol me won the lucky draw. Heh." Roland creaks one eye open, glancing at Tidus almost wryly, a dry joke. "And what that means is, whatever happens to me? Happens to my soulmate too. It's part of the package."

[blitzcheer]

Connected worlds. Tidus listens without knowing where the story may go, or what it means, without a guess. It didn't sound anything like Zanarkand and Spira; two separate worlds in a sense, but not to the extent of actually being real on both sides. Watching Roland as he speaks, leans back his head and closes his eyes; meets his glace with a perplexed and puzzled face.

"Then... what happened to your soulmate? Did he get flung to your world?"

What happens to one, happens to the other. What else is there, that that could mean? Did they just trade places? Was that it? There's a lot missing, whether Roland knows the actual story himself or not.

[adregem]

"More of what happened to me, first."

He opens his eyes again, resolve like steel, and decides that he will return the trust granted to him that day in Irivar today, on Tidus's bed, in the quiet of his room. No better place to say it out loud; in the company of someone like him, a friend, someone who's been through the pain.

For this, Roland removes his arm around Tidus's shoulders, resuming his hold with one over the other pressed firmly against his chest, crossed like a defense when really it's more for his own comfort. Gaze straight ahead, staring at the wall opposite the bunker bed.

"At the time that I was president, the world was close to a global war. One nation against the other, ready to invade each other's borders for power. I did my best, did all I could to protect our country from it. Drafted laws that put the people first, made sure we didn't look like we we wanted to be a part of that mess." Roland swallows thickly, the arms crossed growing tighter, ever so. Tongue like lead, unexpectedly feeling a memory as if he's still there. "But it wasn't really enough to stop the tides. When the waves come, you won't be able to swim away no matter how hard you try."

A pause, only for a breath and nothing more.

"I was on the way to an international summit for peace. We were going to propose to unite all countries under one banner before it was too late. That's when it came. The end." His voice lulls into a striking low melody, nostalgic but melancholic. Dulled pain, not as sharp as it used to be. "I saw it from the car, the missile. It happened fast. Short of stopping time itself, it was going to hit its mark. It did, and in seconds everything was leveled. Everyone. I was going to die with them...but when I came to..."

Roland unfolds his arms, stares at his hands as if seeing them again for the first time. Smooth, without wrinkles or marks. "...when I came to, I was saved, made young again. I was brought to the second world, Tidus, because someone was looking out for my soulmate. If I had died, they would have too."

[blitzcheer]

Without the arm around him, nearly forgotten after a point, Tidus draws himself to sit up while Roland leans back; resting his weight on his arms secured either side of him, his head turned to give Roland all his attention.

And it's a tale that starts with war -- isn't that a familiar one. Except this time, a war lived through, a war known - a war not yet lost to time. Tidus doesn't know what that's like; when it's not set a thousand years in the past, with all that's recalled is the consequence. And there's another kind of bizarre fascination to hear about it. To know for once the details, what a life was like in that time.

Until- The end. It's a silence of its own, a drop in the story. Tidus imagines an empty canvas before Roland even goes on, but as he does--it becomes more severe, more real. What exactly the end means, and it twists at Tidus's gut, his expression uncomfortable with the rest of him.

He's not really quiet, once Roland stops. A small sputter, before-

"Why?" He chokes the word out, stumbling over his inability to understand -- how none of Roland's story makes sense. Not now about the second world, but- "Why would anyone wanna go and start a giant war like that? Were things really going that bad where you're from?"

[adregem]

Roland isn't one to laugh out loud but such a reaction earns one, though it lacks any semblance of joy or mirth. How does one even begin to say it, describe it? The kind of world he inherited, voted into office too soon...Earth's tapestry tearing at the seams before he ever got a fighting chance to fix a thing.

"Yeah, that's one way to describe. Things were really bad." Roland chances a look at Tidus, meets his gaze halfway. "There was a lot of heat on my country from the start. We were a relatively young nation, but we grew to be one of the biggest superpowers in a short span of time. The fact that it was our initiative to bring everyone else together under one alliance...You can imagine it rubbed some people off the wrong way. And that was that."

Or, in other words, power has never been pretty. And the unspoken truth is heavier than what he makes it out to be; he knows that one nuclear strike would have started a domino effect worldwide. It was effectively the end for all of them; every country, every citizen on that globe. He realizes the gravity of his collective loss quite late, reminded of how much was taken from him in that instant only when he sees the same thing happen in the second world.

[blitzcheer]

And that was that.

There was a familiarity to those words. One that leads into another, a man standing upon an edge, looking down at the end of the world. And Tidus isn't sure if the similarity is apt, but in that moment - without anything he knows he can say, no words of comfort meaningful when you're looking at a closed story - he can't help but find himself there again, listening to Auron.

'I wanted to change the world, too. But I changed nothing. That is my story.'

"Roland..." His head bows, realising the weight that Roland carries. More than his; and more than his has ever been. And what was it like, coming from that ending and having people like him saying he should try and jump into power here - make a difference?

It makes sense, Tidus figures, why Roland had wanted him to do it instead. Thoughts rolling, struggling to turn into anything significant. He wants to apologise, but the gesture is weak on his tongue.