voidtreckerexpress | [Closed] He isn't too old to sulk

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[Closed] He isn't too old to sulk

Who: Senku and Gen, and Senku and Tidus.
Where: The quiet carriage, the kitchen
When: Horseshoe 17
What: After what can only be described as a diastrous bit of social interaction, Senku is not only in a terrible mood but he's isolating himself. At least, that's the plan.
Warnings: Tentatively, nothing.

[For Gen]

The first thing Senku did when he walked away, was look for somewhere private, which led him to the quiet car cubicle. He shut himself inside, flopped on the bench and did, what could only be described as sulking. He hated that. He'd much rather throw himself into a project.

He didn't have some back-breaking physical labour on hand though, he was on the train and it was much better to ignore his feelings with something to do. Feelings didn't matter, he told himself. They didn't accomplish anything.

Eventually he pulled out a pen out of boredom and looked at the ceiling. He reached up on the wall of the cubicle and tested the waters with a pen he pulled out of the arms band. It wrote okay, but it wasn't very clear. He needed a distraction.

He could be spotted briefly walking over to the art supplies and heading back with a couple of black markers in hand towards the quiet carriage.

[For Tidus.]

When he was finished with his redecorating, or vandalism project likely due to someone's perception, he'd moved onto doing something else to distract him.

Senku was back into the art supplies, at least, he had one of the sketchbooks on a table and in his hands a ruler and a pencil from his open, orange pencil case.

He didn't just draw for fun, nothing cute here, but instead he was drawing up blueprints for a fictional space station. He was working on the basic form, and if he still needed a distraction later, he might continue on to make separate inside spaces.

Technical drawing was different in that he wasn't doing very much freehand, not since he had a ruler. He could but why make it inaccurate? He started with the biggest shape that looked like a nonagon, but he also drew a miniature version up in the corner of the page that had more faded lines within it, he was intending it to be a dodecahedron.

The only indication that Tidus might get that he was still in a mood is that when he glanced up to see who was in his space is that he didn't stop working, his eyes went back down to the page as he divided his space station into sections with two vertical lines.

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Of course, Gen had been hoping to get an explanation out of Senku. Help get him on better mental footing, after whatever had him retreating into here. The more he could coax him into a slightly more normal routine ... the better he might be able to get out of him what bothered him so in the first place.

"Hmmm," Gen looked thoughtful, smile playing at his lips, and then shrugged cluelessly, "I don't know, Sanku-chan, I'm only a hack mentalist. It's not as if I'd be able to figure out nitric acid would be able to produce those nitrates, hmm?"

"Ten billion points to you, Mentalist." He complimented with a snicker. "Although Taiju could've figured that out so if you didn't, I would've been a little disappointed." He teased slightly.

Not really, but he still would've explained it like it was a compulsion to do so.

He did look a lot more relaxed through the project and the discussion, even sliding back into science facts where he was the most comfortable.

"Yes, I think I should be able to catch on a little faster than Taiju, my dear," Gen noted wryly. "Your friend comes from a good place, but his head is thicker than the plating on a nuclear reactor."

He said it in pretty good humor, though. It's hard not to like Taiju, once you're facing the full brunt of his personality. Simple, sure, but earnest.

"Don't I know it." Senku hummed. He appreciated his childhood best friend, he trusted him with his life and everything else, but bless him, he was not a smart guy.

That was alright, he had other skills, and he did have the kind of personality that people liked, unlike Senku, who did not. His humour wavered a little bit at that thought, as he connected the dots on Pegasus.

Gen saw the subtle shift, though. Most people probably wouldn't pick up on it. Most people - even those who were his friends - didn't know Senku. But the two of them had been working very closely together over the last couple of years.

He tilted his head a little. Gentle, knowing, like they're looking at real stars in the observatory, "We're not locked in this quiet car because you're bored, Senku-chan."

"No." Senku agreed, with that done and moving on to Perseus itself.

"We're putting constellations on the walls and ceiling because I got bored." He clarified.

He'd been locked in the quiet car before that, but with nothing to do, he couldn't stand it all that long. It was too much like sitting still, unable to move. That was not the case though, so he'd given himself a project.

"You were locked up in here before then," Gen thought aloud, thinking of Senku and what he was apt to do when irritated or upset, which he would only admit to under a process akin to pulling teeth.

Whelp. Time to put his dental smock on.

They were relaxing and having a pretty good time, before Taiju came up. A reminder of home? Someone saying something stupid like he used to, acting familiar? Or someone acting unlike Taiju - dumb, and their heart wasn't in the right place? ... Speculating was pretty useless.

"Someone said something dumb, not unlike what Taiju does," Gen guessed, based on the available evidence, "except, since they don't know you nearly as well, they acted dumber in a different way."

He initially shrugged at the accusation, not denying that he had been shut up in the quiet cubicle on his own.

"No, nothing like Taiju." He shook his head.

"I screwed something up, as usual." Senku responded. "I'll let you handle the social interactions."

He didn't normally just give up though, he tended to persevere, but what happened was pretty disastrous, even for him. Inigo had been so upset and he didn't understand. It didn't help that he didn't understand, and he could do nothing to help. No, if anything, he'd caused the problem. They just didn't see eye to eye at the moment.

Maybe, Senku had thought, they wouldn't.

"You don't screw up as often as you're making it sound," Gen said lightly, but he's more worried now, than he had been before.

Senku sometimes didn't get when he said something awkward. He was direct, blunt, and social nuance bored him. But he cared about how people saw him. Sure, he did that thing that all boys in their culture did and pretended he didn't care - Senku might not call that a macho thing but it kind of was. But that's why he did things for the village, for the children, for the people on this train.

He cared about other people, and wanted to make a good impression, and Gen knew he'd sooner to get Senku to admit he liked astrology than he was concerned about how other people's opinions.

"What happened?" Gen asked again, softly. He was looking at the drawing they'd made so far, instead of staring at Senku, if that helped.

"Nothing." Senku answered first.

The problem with Gen was that he knew him too well. They spent too much time together for them not to be able to read each other and while someone else might accept that answer, Gen would not.

A quick glance at his friend told him from his expression that that answer was not going to be acceptable.

He stepped aside, putting a bit of space between them, not because he needed it but because he needed to stand up on tip to to start on the next constellation, Triangulum, but he'd left the stars unlinked for Gen to finish, a quiet invitation to move with him, if he wanted.

"I...don't know. Something I did made Inigo upset. I can't stop upsetting him. It's because I'm...me." He sighed. That didn't explain much.

Gen did, decidedly, give Senku A Look when he claimed it was 'nothing'. They'd had a lot of time to get to understand the weight and difference between the different ways Senku might say that word. Flippant. Bored. Sarcastic. Honest. Or, in this case, a clear lie.

He didn't hold it against Senku, though. He stepped up beside his friend and went to delicately connect the dots using fainter lines, letting the stars be clearly defined.

"Being you made him upset?" Gen repeated the statement, making it a question. He glanced over at his friend, and wondered. "Is this related to when he took you disliking sappy things personally?"

"Yeah, but this was much worse."

He was quiet as he finished that constellation, it was really small, and the time he took usually meant he was thinking.

"I don't know-" He started and stopped.

"He asked me about what was okay with me and when I told him, it just upset him more. Tidus happened to ask a similar question in his presence and he's just..."

He frowned. "He's really upset? I said I thought he was upset with me but he said no, but I'm not sure he was telling me the truth."

He sighed. "Therefore, what I said...did...just seems wrong now. I can't fix it though. I am how I am and just-" He pressed his lips together.

"I told him not to listen to me and I would go and then I came here. I haven't been this confused in forever and I just...It's better not to deal with people. That's where you come in." He said, pointing his marker at him.

That was the sensible solution.

"What question?" Gen asked, because the way that Senku was dancing around it, meant that it was really actually a very important question.

Gen looked at him from the corner of his eye, but he knew that Senku knew he was looking. He spoke a little more firmly. "My dear, I've made people upset, too, on this train. I'm not perfect. For example - four people were rather sore about my little joke post about yeeting people out into the void. That was all in fun, and it sounds as if this was about something serious."

He snorted slightly at that. "That was the tamest version of fuck, marry, kill ever."

Senku wasn't afraid to be blunt and profane anyway, and although that had been fun in its own way, he could see that some people found it offensive. He got that.

"Inigo asked me what I was okay with and I told him I don't like to be touched, or hugged." Senku commented. "Because he likes hugs. I get it. Most people do." He grimaced.

"So when Tidus asked how long it takes to be okay with that, I said I don't get okay with it, and Inigo just..." He sighed.

"I already know it's me, you don't have to say anything about that. I've observed humans, I'm aware that I'm the problem. But I probably shouldn't have said so." That was his take away. "Like always, I said something when I shouldn't."

Gen's face did something complicated, especially when Senku said, 'maybe I shouldn't have said so, I said something I shouldn't,' that he reacted immediately with a, "No."

He had to take a moment, and then gave Senku a slightly pained smile.

"Boundaries are important, my dear. And please, let me finish, because I want you to understand that I know that you know this. If this were Ruri, little Suika, Chrome, even that oaf Taiju - you would tell them what I'm telling you, so I realize my goal is to say - this applies to you, too."

Gen had no levity in his eyes when he looked at him. "It doesn't matter if most people like to be hugged. It doesn't matter if your boundaries are different from other people's. They're still yours, and they are important, and if this came from someone smarter and less of a pushover than Inigo I would be helping you booby-trap your room and prepare body armor. Everyone has different boundaries, that yours don't include hugging are fine. The problem, my dear Senku, is with him, and deciding that he has to make other people not giving him the attention he adores and craves a personal attack."

He'd considered just tolerating it, but then he would be uncomfortable if Inigo grabbed him.

Senku didn't have a problem respecting boundaries if someone had them and they told him and he'd assumed that was the same especially if he was being asked - and he'd been happy. No one ever asked him, they just did what they wanted and found out when he was already annoyed.

"If I wasn't like this it would stand to reason he wouldn't be upset, and I wouldn't be confused." Senku explained to Gen.

"I think he thought I was going to tell Tidus to ask him to stop hugging him or something I don't...I don't know." He'd lashed out at Tidus, which was confusing, which meant there was a piece of the puzzle he was missing.

"People are confusing anyway. I say this and I know people, as you rightly pointed out. Senku - it is not your fault that he's upset," Gen said very firmly. "You don't determine how he reacts to things, it's a variable no human can control. It's why social things aren't easy, though I'm flattered if I make them seem that way."

"It sounds like Inigo has a major problem. And I'd accuse him of trying to manipulate you into doing whatever he wanted to do, except I doubt he's that smart. He sounds insecure, a bit maladapted, and perhaps even codependent toward his friend - and I don't care it's uncharitable of me to speculate," Gen was blunt and honest as he was with nobody except Senku. "You get to be exactly how you are, and there is nothing wrong with your boundaries."

He let out a slow sigh. He didn't think Gen was lying to him. He hadn't thought there was a problem with his boundaries, they just were. Most people got that. He did his best to connect with others anyway.

He wasn't really sure if Gen's speculations were right or not, but it was a possible alternative to him having broken everything by being, well, how he was.

"I wouldn't have said anything if he didn't ask." Senku stated, because that was true enough. He didn't just walk up to people and say that, with apparently, good reason.

"I'm frustrated." He admitted. "Because I did all of this, and I can't even take it back or pretend I wouldn't do it again, because I would. I wouldn't like it if he walked up and grabbed me. I wouldn't like it if anyone did. Someone on the train did that already, when you weren't here." He grimaced. "I got very mad at her when she refused to put me down."

Gen hadn't seen him get mad, it was a testament to how rare it was.

"I didn't think that much of it, it's not usually a problem. It's weird, I understand that through observation, it's weird. I'm weird, or broken or whatever, and I get that. I've never...I didn't expect him to react like that. I'm frustrated because I don't understand." He was likely missing context.

"You are not broken," Gen said, very very firmly. "Senku - you know always whenever I lie. Don't you? My tricks never really work on you. So you know - if I say you're not broken - I'm not lying at all."

He pointed with his marker at him now, instead. "It makes sense you're frustrated! You get to tell people, 'don't touch me,' and 'put me down', and 'I don't like hugs.' If a stranger came up to me and grabbed my hand or shoulder or touched me I would jump up a foot. And it's okay if you never want anyone touching you. You don't need to take it back, or pretend. It is very fucking frustrating that someone took personal offense to this. Okay?"

Gen rarely swore. He took a deep breath in, and out. "It's frustrating. He's making this about him. Or maybe it's about him and Tidus and they have some sort of crush, and. The point is, he took something that was about you - the request not to be touched - and it sounds like he blew it up into some ridiculous teenaged drama. That's some shoujo anime thing right there. He was weird. Not you."

He did. He knew when Gen was lying to him. Gen was not lying to him. He knew what it sounded like, the claim that he was broken, it sounded, well, melodramatic. It wasn't how he meant it though, he meant it more in a detached, clinical kind of sense.

That Gen would suggest this wasn't the case made him think about it, and consider it, and the validation continued. He should be frustrated?

He was frustrated.

Gen had also pinpointed why he was so frustrated - it wasn't meant as a slight to Inigo. He didn't like to be touched. He wasn't suggesting it meant anything about their relationship at all. He'd expected Inigo to maybe just accept that and they could move on. That wasn't what happened and it made him feel like his position, his feelings on the matter were invalid - and he wasn't able to take it back, even if he wanted to. He didn't want to.

"Ugh. Teenaged drama. Like I'm in high school, and that was 3700 years ago. I have no desire to go back to that." Senku said, but in thanks he nudged Gen's arm slightly.

"I actually groaned in frustration." Another measure of just how frustrated he'd been.

Gen saw Senku working through what he was saying, analyzing it, weighing it out to see if he believed him. Was there something wrong with him, as Senku believed, or was Gen correct? There's a chance he would need to present additional evidence, he thought.

So when he saw something click in Senku's expression - when he nudged him and complained - Gen internally relaxed, a great deal. Mostly because it's clear that Senku saw he was right. It was frustrating, ridiculous, and not his fault for having his own preferences.

And a teeny, tiny bit of relief, that Senku went out of his way to touch him, that Gen hadn't somehow been stomping all over his boundaries over their friendship.

His smile was a lot more wry than usual, but he finally smiled for him again. "I'd be hard pressed to lie like usual. Groaning, rolling my eyes - I'm quite happy I got out high school as soon as possible. Good riddance."

"Which part did you not like? The girls coming around after you? The gossiping behind people's backs? Talking about vapid celebrities?" His tone had shifted to teasing.

No, Gen hadn't gone into his boundaries. At all. While he was often the exception to every rule, he also seemed to know when to push him and when to back off. He would also tell Gen flat out, and he knew Gen would listen if there was something he didn't like.

"I only went because I had to, stupid rules." He grumbled. Senku moved along the bench and pointed. "Aries." He told Gen and started on Pisces.

"Well, considering I was the vapid celebrity ..." Gen teased right back.

Gen was smiling much more brightly as he started on Aries, as directed. "You're probably annoyed that I hardly went at all, aren't you? It's as if I cheated."

"Why would I be surprised that you're a cheater in school too? Lucky bastard." He quipped back, slinging the usual kind of insult, that was just how they teased each other.

"I don't know what people said about you, do you really think I listened to any of that crap?" He asked with a wave of his free hand.

"Besides, none of it was probably true anyway, so just as well."

He hummed. "In school people thought I was weird. I know this seems shocking to you."

"Oh, I just decided to drop out," Gen said blithely. "Later I took whatever tests I needed to, so I had a little sheet of paper that said I had a high-school-equivalent education. But really, my dear. I was too busy performing, writing books, being interviewed, being filmed for interviews, signing autographs ... "

He shrugged and grinned, completely playing up the idiot performer angle.

Gen then tilted his head a little at him. "Do you mean, most high schools don't have someone who tries to build their own space-worthy rockets? Yet another reason I'm glad I missed out."

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