voidtreckerexpress | [ CLOSED ] U-Turn

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Who: Ishigami Senku and Asagiri Gen
Where: somewhere private, preferably, if Gen has any say
When: directly after this thread.
What: Senku is going to learn that he's not the only one who wants to prove a hypothesis with an experiment.
Warnings: None, probably! If things surprise me I'll update this.

So.

Let it never be said, that once Gen had decided to do something, that he'd hesitate, beat around the bush. Perhaps sometimes he'd pretend that's what he's doing. He could lie and put on a performance, especially to better sell a certain image. If he's just a silly, flighty Mentalist, that's what he would do.

But that's not who he was.

There's only one real way to tell if he had been told anything true. And Gen ... Gen was sure if this was met with a resounding rejection, he could laugh it off and salvage their friendship. After all, the last time - with a far grander, sappier gesture - their friendship still survived. So this would be fine. Perfectly, perfectly fine.

Gen's palms were sweating as he walked through the train, hoping to find Senku, and. Well, hopefully this would be in private.

This wasn't a performance he was putting on for the benefit of strangers. This would be real.

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Gen winced a little at his fidgeting. "I hadn't intended to make you uncomfortable, my dear."

But he didn't want to talk over him - Senku was probably very sick of people assuming things about him, making his preferences somehow about them instead. Gen's heart was squeezing in his chest, but he felt more afraid of accidentally crushing what they had than losing the chance of something new.

"What, exactly, don't you want happening?" Gen asked, that was the crux of this whole thing. "Perhaps that's what I should start with ... I don't want anything that you don't want. You're a dear friend. It risk of being very gross, incredibly so, I wouldn't trade that friendship for anything. It's precious to me."

"No, it's not-" Senku exhaled and glanced away. "I'm not expressing myself well." He knew that was the problem.

He reached out and put his hand on Gen's shoulder, looking at him now, intense and serious.

"I didn't intend on liking you. I...did. When we talked back then. But I'm not supposed to and I shouldn't." He frowned. "And this is my fault because I can't- I'm not...I didn't know what to say to you then and then I just...we didn't discuss this again." Which meant that Gen had taken that as a rejection and it was more of a non-answer, which wasn't much better.

The fact that Senku reached out to him was more reassuring than a lot of words he could say. His body relaxed a little, even as he flushed slightly with that intense look. He's listening intently in turn.

... There's a lot to unpack there.

Gen licked his lips. "I'm sorry I didn't bring it up. I didn't know you felt ... that you liked me, as I do. Why do you say you're not supposed to? That you shouldn't?"

It's tempting to quip, since when does Senku care about social norms? But he held his tongue. They're being serious and Gen didn't want to shatter that, it wouldn't be a comfort to distract them this time.

It wasn't a matter of social norms and considering, they couldn't really say they had those anymore.

"Because I don't like people." He pointed out with a little huff. "That is supposed to extend to you but for some reason, nothing else does, I don't know what makes you so special." He almost sounded like he was complaining, he kind of was.

"And I'm not physically attracted to you, which is something most people would find a dealbreaker." It was only then that he put a bit of space between them, enough for him to lean back a little, to cross his arms as though his body language suggested he didn't take well to being so vulnerable, and it was true, it was rare he allowed that side of him to come through.

Gen couldn't help the bemused little smile on his lips. "I thought it'd also extended to me. You're not exactly subtle about your dislike of that kind of thing, and I've never minded that at all."

Which is why he didn't let him back away far, taking a step forward again. He didn't grab his arms or trap him, though - Gen reached out for Senku's face, tipped his chin up lightly with a couple of fingers. He knew Senku hated this kind of thing. But Gen didn't think they'd feel any better if they just dropped this here.

Especially since, "It's not a deal-breaker for me," Gen told him. His head tilted a little, and he looked him right in the eye. "I know that we both hate these sorts of conversations, so. Let's get this out of the way now, so we don't need another one. I know you're not interested in physical stuff. And I don't care. I still like you anyway. And I don't particularly care if I should or shouldn't feel that way, it doesn't change what I think."

"I'm not subtle because I don't need people throwing themselves at me when I don't want them to." Senku responded bluntly, with a bit of a frown.

Gen's gentle touch caught his attention, and he didn't try to retreat any further, even though this was an uncomfortable conversation for him, but like he'd said, sometimes he found things uncomfortable. That didn't mean they weren't worth enduring sometimes.

"I...never stopped you." Senku said quietly. He knew, sometimes, maybe a lot of times, when Gen was flirting with him. He flirted back, usually. He found that rather fun. Probably, upon reflection, because he liked him.

"I'm not saying you can't like me, it just seems like I'm unsuitable for this kind of thing. Although it's been years, it's not like it's going away, and I wasn't going to tell you or anything, I do like your friendship." He sighed. "Or whatever this is, and I intended very much on keeping it the same if you wanted." He didn't want Gen to leave him, he didn't want him to move out or stop any of that, but it was kind of foolish in its own way not to discuss it.

"Oh, that wasn't a criticism, not at all," Gen told him wryly, "I'm not a fan of people throwing themselves at you and making you uncomfortable, either."

"We can keep it the same," Gen told him, once again giving him an out. "If that's what you want. But, if you also like ... being kissed, or ... seeing other ways we can ..."

Gen was blushing but made himself push forward, more awkward than ever for him, because this mattered, "... show ... affection? ... for each other? We can ... experiment with other things."

"Such as, if hugs are still something you dislike, even with me. I wouldn't mind that. But if you liked them, when it's me, we could do that. I don't mind things changing for us, as long as we don't lose what we already have. Anything else we do ... that's just, a bonus."

Edited 2020-10-19 15:59 (UTC)

The words were important, they really were and this was a discussion they needed to have, for a lot of reasons, although Senku wasn't especially worried about Gen crossing any lines. He'd never really done so before, Gen was excellent at reading him, which was truly novel in itself.

So he needed to answer those questions, but at the same time, he felt very awkward discussing his feelings, and he needed something else. He was much better at demonstrating these things, at least, he thought so.

Senku reached out again, to grasp the front of Gen's dumb orange shirt and give him a little tug to meet his lips in another kiss. This one wasn't quite as gentle, nor would it be as long.

It was only fair, Gen surprised him after all. He'd let go and lean back, blushing lightly.

"......I needed another data point." He said, clearing his throat.

It's one thing for him to kiss Senku. Gen initiates stuff. Senku ... well, the whole idea of him forcing themselves through this awkward topic was the fact Gen really did want to make sure he was okay with it. Gen wasn't about to whine and say that Senku had to do anything or his feelings would be hurt. That wasn't fair.

But for Senku to kiss Gen?

He blushed, a lot more than what Senku was doing, flustered and pleased and surprised. And speechless. That's not something Gen was very often.

"Ah ..." Gen took a second, and licked his lips again. "I, uh. I'm very ... very on board, with you, um. Collecting as much data as you want."

He'd partly needed something to break the tension and the discomfort and that had worked surprisingly well. He smiled at Gen and didn't offer any apologies, especially since he didn't seem to be too upset about it. "I didn't mind that."

He could even say he liked it, maybe, at some point.

"Not to distract from our conversation. Affection..." He let out a little hum and a sigh and tried to consider it. "I can try, but probably...I'd have to get used to whatever it is." He knew himself, he knew he was slow to change.

"Then again, maybe not. You're in my personal space a lot."

"I liked it too," Gen said, because he could speak Senku after all the time they'd known each other.

He hummed, considering that, and moved his arms, telegraphing his movements well. "I am. Maybe I was testing, experimenting, and not realizing it? But you never seemed to mind, so I didn't stop. I don't want to do anything you'd be uncomfortable with."

Carefully, he'd try to slip his arms around his middle, though it's a very light hold. "Does this work, my dear? If not, I can let go."

"I didn't mind. Didn't I just tell you that you're annoying?" Senku complained with a little huff. Gen breaking all of his rules was something that was mildly vexing, but not in a bad way. He wasn't really upset about it, it was just unexpected. It was surprising that he didn't mind.

"It's alright." Senku responded with a bit of a hum. "I don't really know how to describe what it is I don't like about hugs." He pressed his lips together.

"Maybe it's being constricted? I don't know...or I just don't want a bunch of people in my personal space." That seemed just as likely, but he liked Gen in his personal space.

"I let you hug me earlier when I was...ugh, upset. It was okay too. I don't know. You don't try and trap me."

"Mmm, that's not what I heard at all," Gen said lightly, smiling a lot brighter now, clearly pleased with this turn of events.

He didn't squeeze Senku, or seem to mind at all that he wasn't being hugged back. He did lean forward and rest his head on his shoulder, though. Senku smelled ... like soap, obviously, but a little like he'd been playing around with something earlier, a hint of smoke. Maybe that's an illusion, a mental association. Gen would always think of him and electricity, progress, energy.

"I'd never trap you, Senku-chan," Gen agreed. "You're free to go and do whatever you want. But ... I admit, I like the idea that I'm the only one who gets to hug you. You're the only one I'm interested in, here or at home, you know?"

"Pretty sure that's what I said." Senku responded.

He didn't mind as Gen rested his head on his shoulder, which brought him closer and he didn't mind. He really didn't.

"Jealous?" He asked with a little amused huff. "Of who? I only like you anyway, Mentalist."

He hummed. "I'll try and be better at...affection I guess. Assume you're fine, because I'm not afraid to tell people when I don't like something."

He would always associate with nightshade, that was what he always smelled like usually, but probably not around the train.

Not yet, anyway, though Gen was considering buying the seeds. He just wasn't certain if he wanted to let anyone on the train have access to the blossoms. Nightshade was dangerous in the hands of people he didn't trust, and poisoning seemed like a potentially painful way to die.

"You're fine, my dearest," Gen murmured. "I just don't need to hold back anymore. Though I'm sure you'll find me gross and annoying when I say certain things, now. If I have permission ..."

Senku blinked and groaned. "You're not going to get all sappy are you?" He grumbled.

"If you have to, I guess. You're pretty sappy as it is."

Gen giggled. "I'm not nearly as sappy as I could be, my dearest."

Just, tweaking his usual affectation for Senku, and Senku alone.

He grinned into his shoulder. "I could be a lot worse. I could talk about how much I admire your genius, and how your smile makes me feel light inside - I could find you flowers and hide little notes brightening your day in the Arms Band and in your microscope's slides and in your pockets ... I could tell everyone you're my boyfriend and hold your hand whenever we're together ..."

His tone is teasing, so Senku could easily call any of these ideas silly.

He groaned a little bit at his list of nonsense. "I'd kiss you to shut you up- oh. There's an idea." Senku snickered.

"Nah, I listen to you, even when you're spinning bullshit here."

Senku hummed a moment. "Do you want to sit here with me? I mean..."

"Well, if you're going to reward me for saying those kinds of things ..." Gen giggled.

He smiled at him, lifting his head. "Yeah. Of course."

When he sat down beside Senku, he'd experiment a little by moving to hold one of his hands, and lean against him.

"If you consider that a reward." Senku hummed a bit and let him have his hand. He laced his fingers through Gen's, testing it out.

He probably looked all too serious for something like this, but sometimes how he felt was even a mystery to him. He squeezed his hand after a moment briefly. The leaning, he was much more used to. Gen might not realize how often he did that.

"Is that why you wanted to come in here? To...I guess...confess to me under our fake stars?" Senku asked with a blush.

"Sorry I...made you do it twice. I should've, I don't know, done more than what I did."

Gen gently squeezed Senku's fingers back, smiling a little fondly, glad that his friend ... boyfriend? ... couldn't really see his face now from this angle. Gen laughed softly.

"Yes. Well, I don't have any real stars, in the void, do I? And I wasn't about to confess where a bunch of nosy people could watch," Gen told him. "If you weren't interested, I didn't want them to fuss about it."

He lifted his head a little, to better look at him. "Maybe. Or maybe not. If you weren't ready for this then ... that's okay. I've still been having a good time."

"That's true." He hummed and smiled fondly at Gen, stargazing was their thing and he found he liked that. "I appreciate that, I think."

Senku shifted to rest his head on Gen's shoulder slightly, which made it seem more like they were leaning against each other but it was comfortable.

"I don't know. I'm just...me." He said by way of explanation. Gen would be able to figure that out. "Also, when we get back...we'll have a lot more to focus on and this would probably have to be on pause." He sighed. That would suck but...

It was comfortable. Gen smiled and relaxed, rubbing his thumb gently against Senku's hand. He certainly didn't want to move anytime soon.

"Hmm, will it, though?" Gen asked, not really arguing, just speculating. "Aside from the fact I'm going to be a bit more honest about how I feel, when I'm around you ... I don't see a lot of things changing, to be honest."

Actually. Gen sounded more bemused by that than anything else, since he was thinking things over. They already tended to do a lot of ... couple-ish stuff, didn't they?

"Well...I mean..." Senku began to refute the point and stopped himself. He wasn't actually sure what would change? Hm.

"I guess I don't know."

"We'll just need to play it by ear," Gen agreed, sounding like he was tempted to laugh at himself. "So long as you keep telling me if there's ever anything you object to."

"Yeah, it's probably fine, just you seem to already know when not to bother me and when you can get away with it so, it's probably fine how things are."

Senku huffed. He wasn't exactly sure what was changing here, honestly, aside from the fact Gen had his hand at the moment.

"Good!" Gen turned his head a little so he could press a little kiss to Senku's cheek. He smiled playfully. "I'm glad we're on the same page, Senku-chan."

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