He feels that thought make an unfamiliar flutter in his heart. He finds that he does want that but does he really deserve it? Would he really be that willing to forgive all? He knows his feelings now which is more then he could say the last time he saw Xingchen, and he has confessed to him and wasn't immediately told to go away. Perhaps there is a small bit of hope left.

"Shouldn't you be taking your own advice with the ones you desire instead of trying to teach me? What if they see you? Won't it ruin all your chances?"